CpT_x_Killsteal said:
I guess the easiest way would just be to share with the Escapist community the story of the time your dad went to that talent agency? An attempt to try and offend you a different way (though more likely to make you initially dimiss it then later on when you're going to sleep that night you'll suddenly reflect on it a bit more, assuming you read it word for word).
Your dad walked into the aforementioned talent agency and said to the agent, "I've got a wonderful act that involves my whole family!". The agent shook his head and said dismissively, "We dont do family acts, no one pays to see them these days.". Your dad was persistent though and eventually the agent agreed and asked to hear what happened.
"First of all, I jump up on stage stark naked and ram a tuba between my arse. Then I smear jam over my penis and yell out for my family to join me. At this point my son who happens to go by the name of CpT_x_Killsteal jumps up onto stage with me and my wife and begin licking the jam off my penis. After a few seconds I strain a dribbly runny shit out through the tuba and angle it towards my family who scoopy it out the instrument and proceed to smear it over each other's faces.
While this is going on, I stick my fingers down my throat and retch till I puke up all over my wife and kid. My kid then starts jacking off, using all the bodily fluids as a form of lubrication onto my wife's grinning face, and I join him once Ive wiped my mouth clean on his hair. As we both cum in unison onto my wife's face, she scoops the sperm off and flicks two handfuls back into of our mouths while shouting 'spiderman!'. I then turn to my son and begin making out with him, swilling the sperm into his mouth and he returns the favour.
During this scene, my wife brings out a dead donkey and rips its stomach open. She then pulls out its intestines and wraps my son and I up tightly before ripping her own soiled clothing off and grinding up against us.
My son then chews through the intestines and swallows them all up before shoving my wife down into the remains of the donkey. He rips his own clothes off and begins humping my wife hard as I then clamber on top of him and rape his ass in tempo with his own thrusts. I moan and start to repeatedly headbutt CpT_x_Killsteal in the back of the head as I reach climax and just as he begins to cry out I donkey punch him in the back of the neck. His head snaps forward and bursts my wifes nose open and she starts to sneeze bloody snot over the pair of us. Just as my son reaches his own climax, I jump off him, pull him to his feet and kick him hard in the balls. He doubles over, my wife jumps up too and we all turn to the audience and bow."
The agent of course was stunned and said after a moment's silence, "What... what on earth do you call this act?!"
Your dad just grinned, waved his hands in the air and said, "The Aristocrats!".
(this is based on a long standing joke.... please see this link for more info [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Aristocrats_(joke)])
