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Izakflashman

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Dec 18, 2008
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I have to say your drawing style is kick ass, that alone puts it apart from most webcomics, its all clean looking and stuff. heh heh. But apart from that the jokes didn't make me laugh. I do get em, sorry. I wish I could say how to improve it. Other people would probably find it more appealing. Just be aware not to fall into the pitfall of talking heads. we can't let the text outway the pictures.
 

The Wooster

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Jul 15, 2008
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Izakflashman said:
I have to say your drawing style is kick ass, that alone puts it apart from most webcomics, its all clean looking and stuff. heh heh. But apart from that the jokes didn't make me laugh. I do get em, sorry. I wish I could say how to improve it. Other people would probably find it more appealing. Just be aware not to fall into the pitfall of talking heads. we can't let the text outway the pictures.
Entirely my fault, opening strips are hard to do and It's been forever since I did dialogue for comics. The original script was about 3 times as long before I trimmed it down. That being said I'm a lot more comfortable with the format now.

As for the art that's mostly Malachy's handiwork, I just ink it and add a few of my own touches. I'd say the artwork is about 90% Mal and 10% me.
 

Yassen

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Apr 5, 2008
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A good webcomic is one where the first few panels set up a predictable scenario and then the final one destroys it and does something unpredicted.

That's really the only advice I can give, and it's not even mine. Sorry.
 

Dommyboy

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Jul 20, 2008
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I laughed the two things in this comic. The characters hand in the first section and the black guy that reminded me of Samuel Jackson.

What did you actually draw the figures in?
 

The Wooster

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Jul 15, 2008
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Dommyboy said:
I laughed the two things in this comic. The characters hand in the first section and the black guy that reminded me of Samuel Jackson.

What did you actually draw the figures in?
Photoshop from a paper sketch. I'm actually very satisfied with the artwork. It isn't perfect but it gets the job done and it looks sharp. Mal did a very good job.
 

Dragon_of_red

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Dec 30, 2008
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Heh, these are quite good, the second one was fairly unexpected, my only problem with it is that the main looking guy, he kind of scares me, he seems creepy, if you make more samples i would happily look at them, but i reckon they are alright.
 

The Wooster

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Jul 15, 2008
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dragon_of_red said:
Heh, these are quite good, the second one was fairly unexpected, my only problem with it is that the main looking guy, he kind of scares me, he seems creepy, if you make more samples i would happily look at them, but i reckon they are alright.
His jaw line floats around a lot. That's all my fault because I didn't stick to Mal's original line placement and thickness in some of the frames. I'm quite fond of his terrifyingly wide eyes, I'm hoping to make it a character trait. Like DIlbert's tie.
 

zdxl

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Dec 25, 2008
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Too much dialogue. People are stupid. The joke needs to be short and to the point.
 

The Wooster

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Jul 15, 2008
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zdxl said:
Too much dialogue. People are stupid. The joke needs to be short and to the point.
I agree to a certain extent. I tried really hard to cut down the dialogue in these frames too. Once the characters are established I shouldn't have to use too many words.
 

Larenxis

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Dec 13, 2007
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Neat stuff, but I'd ditch the italics if you're going with that font. A bit harsh in appearance. And the first panel of the first comic looks like a paint background. The writing definitely passes the grade though; I'd like to read more.
 

Dragon_of_red

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Decoy Doctorpus said:
zdxl said:
Too much dialogue. People are stupid. The joke needs to be short and to the point.
I agree to a certain extent. I tried really hard to cut down the dialogue in these frames too. Once the characters are established I shouldn't have to use too many words.
Nah man, theres a good amount of words, too little and you will go down to the shit heap of mediocraty, dont change the word limit, its not too much but its not to little...
 

The Wooster

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Jul 15, 2008
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Larenxis said:
Neat stuff, but I'd ditch the italics if you're going with that font. A bit harsh in appearance. And the first panel of the first comic looks like a paint background. The writing definitely passes the grade though; I'd like to read more.
Thanks. I'm pretty sure there is no Italics set for that font so it might be the anti aliasing I've got on (photoshop lets you chose between a few styles) I'll try something a little stronger.
 

Dommyboy

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Jul 20, 2008
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Decoy Doctorpus said:
zdxl said:
Too much dialogue. People are stupid. The joke needs to be short and to the point.
I agree to a certain extent. I tried really hard to cut down the dialogue in these frames too. Once the characters are established I shouldn't have to use too many words.
Don't start appealing to idiots though, I enjoy the witty lines. Great job on the first comic.
 

Princeps senatus

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Feb 12, 2009
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NR1. RULE never throw random crap into your comic. Unless it's going to be a random comic like Cyanide & Happiness or xkcd.

Otherwise your comic seems to be fine, you follow the standard "Build comic to a pun", and that's an effective way to make a webcomic.

Also try to keep your comic in the same amount of frames (in your instance 3 frames). At least don't deviate much from it (people don't like an irregular layout).
 

Hey Joe

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Dec 23, 2007
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It's a good job, but I'd worry about already going into a flooded 'games comics' territory. What are you going to do differently which every other gaming comic doesn't do? If you can answer that question, your comic is going to do really well. If you can't answer that question, then it will just be 'just another gaming comic' which is a shame because we all here think you could be doing some really good stuff.

It can be a different shell, but if you're making the same observations and jokes as other comics then it's just another gaming comic. I'd love to see a bit of character development thrown in, you know, perhaps the presenter could be an ex-financial journalist who's just expected to bring more profesionalism to a ran-shamble outfit and is constantly amazed at the ineptitude of his new colleagues.
 

tiredinnuendo

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Jan 2, 2008
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I don't have much advice, but I'll give you this.

Most people will gladly trade steak once a week for shit every day, and brag about the great deal they got. If you're going to do a webcomic, set an update schedule of at least two to three strips a week and stick to it. It's amazing how much bad can be overlooked when you update regularly.

Other than that, I'd mirror what Hey Joe said earlier. Gaming webcomics are, at this point, a completely saturated market. While I always welcome jokes about one of my favorite forms of media, not only do you have the "drop in the ocean" problem, but you also have the issue of finding your own punchlines that none of the other three dozen webcomics have already used that day.

I believe that your writing style and wit will serve you very well in any form of published media you choose to pursue, and breaking into a new comic can take awhile as you find your speed. Your initial jokes, while not your A material, show promise. Just make sure you're regularly bringing the funny.

Actually, everything I said can be pretty much summed up by the statement, "Don't be the guy who draws Fanboys."

- J