You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: A horse walks into the bar...
Stranger: horse = *****
You: Animal control is called, and the horse is put down before it could cause any damage.
You: Eh, good guess, but not really.
You: How'd you make the connection?
Stranger: ***** = pamela anderson
Stranger: so pamela anderson = horse
Stranger: are you pamela anderson ?
You: Yes. Yes I am.
You: I am also a lemon.
Stranger: wow my dream come true
You: Well, yeah. I'm known for fulfilling dreams.
Stranger: nice to meet you lemon-pamela anderson
You: Nice to meet you, Timmy Rudolph.
Stranger: who's he ?
You: Oh, a dude.
You: The man-hooker I killed last week and left in the gutter.
You: But shhhh, don't tell anyone!
Stranger: is he a ***** ?
You: Yes, he is also a *****.
You: We bitches have to keep together, you know?
You: Like, real together.
Stranger: don't worry, all my friends died
You: Did you happen to die in the NES game Friday the 13th?
Stranger: maybe
You: There is nothing more tragic than all of your friends dying by Jason's hands, I tell ya.
Stranger: his name's tim rudolph : http://www.af.mil/shared/media/bio/rudolph_t2.jpg
Stranger: like me !!!!!
Stranger: incredible !!!!
You: Oh my god!
Stranger:

You: That's the guy.
You: That's the dude, I'm telling you.
You: Atleast you won't see any new pictures of that fat, ugly face anymore.
You: I'm a real, modern hero.
Stranger: and a horse.
You: Not modern, modern-day, I meant.
You: And yeah, a horse too.
You: I really am a man of talents, am I not?
Stranger: a bitchy horse
You: And I can shapeshift into a lemon.
You: The total package, I'd say.
Stranger: a bitchy pamela anderson horse
You: So I'm not a lemon anymore?
You: That fruitist, you bastard!
You: *cries sour tears*
Stranger: haha
Stranger: all lemons died too
Stranger: maybe because my friends were lemons uuuh
You: Oh, but a handful of us survived in the Russian sewers.
You: And by a handful, I mean me.
You: And by Russian sewers, I mean...
You: Russian sewers.
Stranger: really ?
You: Yup.
Stranger: can't believe it
You: Oh, you will one day.
Stranger: russian sewers are the best sewers ever
You: Yes, they are.
You: Best, as in "best place to die within a day in".
You: So, wanna hang out?
You: Okay, okay. Wanna hang out with the shell I'm currently inhabiting?
Stranger: sooooo pamela anderson's living in a shell ?
You: Well, I'm actually a Gr'aagh that was born in the shape of a lemon. I am a spiritual entity, and I'm currently just inhabiting Pamela Anderson
You: Her body.
You: And I can change it into a horse.
Stranger: creepy-crawly (i always wanted to say that)
You: Or both. A cross-breeding kind of thing, if you will.
You: Well, now you've said it, Timmy.
You: The snail is out of the bag, and the mud is out from under the toenails.
You: What have you got to say for yourself, huh?!
Stranger: i'd like to say "poop"
Stranger: or "frozen baby"

You: Congratulations! You are eligible for the fortune of our very own Nigerian prince.
You: Can you give us a few million dollars, just to be safe?
You: And by the way, frozen baby nets you horrible nightmares for life.
You: We can insert that shit into your brain, maaan.
You: So be careful
Stranger: nightmares are cool, sometimes you need them because life is hard (especially in nigeria)
You: Nightmares make life easier, huh?
Stranger: totally
You: I knew it.
You: I'm gonna tell ma!
You: Ma always said that life needs nightmares.
Stranger: ye and that's the big secret of humanity
You: You never know what you're gonna get.
You: So better hope they'd be nightmares.
Stranger: cosmos rules !
You: This sky is not pretty at all. It's rough and masculine. Possibly sweaty.
You: You did mean the King of All Cosmos, no?
Stranger: there is no sky where im living mannnn
You: Where do you live?
Stranger: the king of the king of the cosmos
Stranger: near god
You: And near God, there is no sky?
You: Woah.
You: Mind = blown
Stranger: with jesus and all
You: Is Jesus a cool dude?
Stranger: they're sooo cool
Stranger: they let me eat cake all the time and i can also play with little angels and decide of who's gonna die today on earth, best job ever
You: Please don't kill the shell I'm inhabiting...
You: It would be most stressful.
You: Though I could totally tell God to stop you from killing this one.
You: God's my homeboy.
Stranger: impossible
You: You think?
Stranger: "les voies du seigneur sont impenetrables" as we say in french
You: You're French?
Stranger: (actually it means nothing but wtf)
You: Hmm?
Stranger: OF COURSE i'm french, i'm TIMMY RUDOLPH!!!!
You: Timmy fuckin' Rudolph!
You: Sir, we've been looking for you all over the place!
You: Will you please help us?
Stranger: for what ? housework ?
Stranger: excuse me: shellwork ?
You: To protect the world from devastation. To unite all people within our nation. To denounce the evils of truth and love. To extend our reach to the stars above.
You: We need you for our army!
You: Ahem.
You: I mean...
You: We need YOU for our army!
You: The pay's good, I swear.
Stranger: could you pay me with frozen babies ?
You: We'll pay you in burned babies if you want, for God's sake!
You: But hurry, we can't hold them for much longer!
Stranger: hummmm babies ! BABIES BABIES BABIES ! i could eat them all day long
You: Oh, you like them babies, don't you?
Stranger: i love love looooove them
You: That's hot.
Stranger: yeah, almost like an obese goat in a swinsuit
You: An obese, swollen goat!
Stranger: an obese, swollen, rotten goat
You: Good, good.
You: Glad we share our opinion of hotness.
Stranger: god'll be proud os us
Stranger: of*
You: Oh, yes.
You: He'll shower us with rewards for sure.
You: But mate, you know what?
You: Fuck you and your shit.
You: You and your shitfuckery.
You: There is no God, there is no you or me.
You: And you are a retard.
You: Have a nice day.