Omegle: Post Your Conversations

[mcgroobber]

Spoiler

You: wanna see a dinosaur?
You: : ............................................... ..........................._,-~"¯¯"~-,
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Stranger: haha
Stranger: usually people disconnect right after they do that.
You: i wouldn't that would take all the fun out of it
Stranger: I wonder how much time a person has to have on their hands to figure out stuff like that.
You: i dunno thats what copy and paste is for
Stranger: oh no. I figured you copy and pasted it.
Stranger: I just meant in general.
You: i know
You: i know

 

[Norik]

Spoiler: this one was fun

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hey
Stranger: do u like it wet?
You: yes i like my water to be wet when i drink it
You: i hate drinking ice or water vapor
Stranger: same
Stranger: but what about clothes?
You: id prefer my clothes to be dry when im wearing them, but when they're in the washing machine they should very much be wet
Stranger: in warm weather and water
You: my clothes should be dry when on my person
Stranger: what if someone else is wet
You: well thats alright but only if they intended to be wet
Stranger: yes
You: it would be a shame if someone were wet that didnt want to be wet
Stranger: what if the other is a brunette with a top and boots
You: then she can be wet, if she likes
You: i just hope she can put her clothes in the dryer afterwards because otherwise she'll be uncomfortable
Stranger: yes i think she can
Stranger: want to see a pic of a similar?
You: is the picture wet?
You: because that would be unfortunate if the picture were wet
You: it would be hard to see
Stranger: no but the scene
You: the scene is wet?
You: they should get a towel
Stranger: or the person
You: the person should sit in the sun for a bit to dry off
You: just make sure she wears some sunscreen or else she'll get burned
Stranger: i would actually say she should go first in the shower
You: well then she'd get even wetter
You: thats hardly useful
Stranger: yea but u wouldnt like that to dry on u
You: you dont want water to dry on you?
You: yes you do
You: thats how water dries
Stranger: not water
You: saliva?
You: did she drool?
Stranger: urine
You: did someone sneeze on her?
You: oh my
You: is she potty trained?
You: her mother shouldnt let her pee on herself
Stranger: yes i guess so
You: she really should be wearing diapers if she has this bad of a bladder problem
Stranger: but she didnt pee on her
You: well then if she peed on the floor she wont be wet
Stranger: it was someone else
You: she peed on someone else?
You: why would she do that?
You: she should get a time out
Stranger: no someone else peed on her
You: thats awful!
You: they sound like a terrible person
Stranger: yes and no
You: my god, did you call the police after you took that picture?
You: it sounds like that man should be severely reprimanded and fined
You: and then she SHOULD take a shower
You: but make sure she has a towel to dry off afterwards
Stranger: i think so too
Stranger: but i think she got paid
You: that sounds like an awful job
You: unless she's paid in showers
Stranger: well its dirty but what can u do
You: well that guy on the discovery channel has dirty jobs but you dont see HIM getting peed on
You: by a truant, no less
Stranger: so u want to see it?
You: only if its the picture of her after taking a shower and putting on some clean, dry clothes
You: i hope she's doing alright
You: my god
You: how traumatic
Stranger: no its not that light
You: what wasnt? the pee?
Stranger: ok so u dont want ok i see
You: if it wasnt light are you sure it wasnt water?
Stranger: i mean the picture might be too heavy for u
You: its on the computer, how can it be heavy?
You: a picture on my screen is the same weight regardless of content
Stranger: to watch, make u ill maybe?
You: well i did eat a bad sandwich earlier and im already feeling queasy
You: maybe heavy lifting IS a bad idea
Stranger: but here u go anyway:
(NOTE FROM NORIK: THIS PIC IS NSFW)
http://www.elf.cz/images/im-2010-02-08/81bfefb0d4a8dbbe2780ed061f0b6df8.jpg
Stranger: dont have to watch if u dont want
You: that URL looks much too heavy for me
Stranger: u were warned
You: i dont think i'll click it
You: thank you for your time
You: make sure to take a nice shower!
You have disconnected.

 

[UnkeptBiscuit]

Spoiler: Multiple long convos, none of them making any sense whatsoever.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Howdy
Stranger: hi
Stranger: asl?
You: ASL?
You: oh
Stranger: u first
You: Well, either you're a sexy, lesbian lady, or some pathetic loser whose only chance of talking to a girl is by logging on to a website that matches you up with a random conversational partner and hoping, when you could just as easily go outside and become good friends with an actual sexy lady, maybe take her out, romance her, and eventually lose your virginity which you've had for the 40-some years of your life. I'm guessing the latter, and take your hand off your dick.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Howdy
Stranger: Heyy I'm 15 a guy and gay
You: Good to know
Stranger: ask?
Stranger: asl*
You: I f you're gay, why do you care?
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Howdy
Stranger: hello
Stranger: sx?
You: Sax?
You: No, I play drums
You: I'm learning guitar, too
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Howdy
Stranger: ooking for a naughty man
Stranger: l*
You: Santa stopped bringing me gifts, so I guess you could call me 'naughty'
Stranger: hehe
Stranger: asl?
You: No, but that's a good thing, right?
You: you're looking for a naughty man
Stranger: yes
Stranger: but i wanna make sure its a man not a boy so
Stranger: asl?
You: Yes, please
Stranger: lol
Stranger: fine
Stranger: f/20
Stranger: u?
You: no
You: I'm really just here to make fun of you
You: nothing more, nothing less
Stranger: sigh
Stranger: fine
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Howdy
Stranger: hi
Stranger: asl?
You: Yes, please
Stranger: whats your name?
You: Slartibartfast
You: I make fjords
You: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fjords
You: my work
You: It's pronounced FEE-yords
Stranger: do you work with the nature?
You: That's what a fjord is, so yeah
Stranger: u ar m or f?
You: Is Slartibartfast a male name or a female name?
Stranger: i dont know
Stranger: f?
You: I'm insulted!
Stranger: sorry
You: I'm leaving!
You have disconnected.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Howdy
Stranger: hi there stranger!!
Stranger: 17/f/NL u?
Stranger: cool!
Stranger: i got really drunk last week and need to share this!
Stranger: here is the dirty video my friends recorded... xD
Stranger: i h8 that bitches for this http://adf.ly/1cDm
Stranger: but u need to find it! is hidden on one of that links! xD
You: You do realize I'm not saying anything, right?
You: ANd that I've realized that you're a robot
You: You have failed, Samurai-bot
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: omegle wants me to say hi!
Stranger: HELLO
You: HELLOOOOOOOOO
Stranger: HOW ARE YOU!!
You: I'M GOOOOOOOOOOD, THANKS FOR ASKIIIIIIIIING!
Stranger: ANYTIME.
Stranger: My socks arent matching today. You should know that.
Stranger: If you want to disconnect, i understand.
You: I'm not wearing any socks
You: You should know that!
Stranger: Well thats lovely
Stranger: WHAT TYPE OF FOOTWEAR DO YOU INVEST IN MAINLY
You: What, I'm lying on my bed with my laptop
You: Gold-Plated
Stranger: Jesus?
Stranger: gladiators????
You: YOu mean sandals?
Stranger: same thinb
Stranger: thing
You: Exactly!
Stranger: SOOOO
Stranger: hi
You: Hey there
Stranger: I am Abdul
You: I am not Abdul
Stranger: Hi not Abdul
You: Hi Abdul
Stranger: my name isn't really abdul either.
You: Well then
Stranger: It's.......
You: Hey there not Abdul!
Stranger: Ackmed.
You: Well mine's not Ackmed
Stranger: Is it Bob?
You: No
Stranger: John?
You: Only if you want it to be
Stranger: that's what I was hoping it was.
You: Well too bad that's not what it os
You: is*
Stranger: Wow, stomp on my hopes and dreams.
You: My real name
You: is
You: ...
You: *drumroll*
You: ...
You: *dramatic pause*
You: ...
Stranger: :O
You: Slartibartfast
You: I make fjords
Stranger: sounds like a weight loss smoothie
You: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fjords
You: my work
Stranger: I NEED TO PEE. WAIT FOR ME?
You: Only for so long
You: GO FAST!!!
You: FASTER!!!
You: I'M GETTING IMPATIENT!!!
You: !!!
You: !!!!
!!
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You: !!!!
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Stranger: DID YOU TIME ME
You: No
Stranger: well i peed as fast i could
You: Sorry
Stranger: and i was stingy with the soap while washing my hands
You: Well that's just great
Stranger: Only for you!!
You: You know what not Abdul?
Stranger: what
You: I'm leaving
Stranger: WHAT DID I DO
You: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rrVDViSlsSM
You: Au revoir
You have disconnected.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: You have 30 seconds
Stranger: okay
You: 25
You: 20
Stranger: to do what?
You: 15
Stranger: charm you?
You: 10
You: 5
You: 0
You: Your computer will now self-destruct
You: Goodbye
Stranger: hahaha
You: Nice knowing you
Stranger: indeed
You: *Boooooooosh!
You: *
Stranger: nothing happened, now I'm terribly disappointed
You: YOu're still alive?
Stranger: no, this is my evil twin sister
You: Wait, your evil twin sister
You: What's happening, evil twin sister?
Stranger: haha
Stranger: this conversation is so meaningless
You: What isn't?
Stranger: yes, true
Stranger: everything is
You: Except for this conversation
Stranger:
You: I just blew my nose
You: and
You: YOUR MIND!!!
Stranger: oh
Stranger: I didn't notice it
You: Alright then
You: Maybe it was just your non-evil twin sister's
Stranger: ah, ture
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: YES
Stranger: i am waiting
Stranger: my love
You: HEY, HEY MAMA, SAID THE WAY YOU MOVE, GONNA MAKE YOU SWEAT, GONNA MAKE YOU MOVE
Stranger: dont write lyrics here
You: DUH NA NA NA NUH NA-NA NA NA NANANA NANA NA NA
Stranger: ;;;;;;;;;
Stranger: u r pretty bored huh
You: IDK
Stranger: hahaaaaaaaaaaaa
Stranger: how old are you my young kid?
You: Maybe my mind's just overloaded
You: What if I was old?
You: then I wouldn't be a young id
You: kid*
You: And I'm not yours, either
Stranger: hahhaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Stranger: i know
Stranger: just asking you a quesiton though
You: I'm between the ages of 0 and 100
You: Guess
Stranger: haaaaaaaaaaaa
You: I'll tell you if you're wrong
Stranger: i think you are around at 15
You: Good guess
Stranger: 14 - 17?
You: Warmer
Stranger: 18?
You: Colder
Stranger: ;;;;
Stranger: how old?
Stranger: i d k
Stranger: i dont care actually
Stranger: ha
You: Good, I'm not gonna tell you
Stranger: hahaaaaaaaaaa
Stranger: you are playing with me here
Stranger: you!!!
You: IT's all Omegle's good for
Stranger: haaaaaa
Stranger: so what do you do for living?
You: I sit here, messing with strangers on Omegle
Stranger: haaa i know!!
Stranger: other things you are up to except that?
You: No
Stranger: so u dont do anything for your life?
Stranger: thats sad
You: I'm on the run from Mecha-Hitler, but besides that, nothing
You: I stole his left testicle
Stranger: Mecha Hitler?
Stranger: you are werid!!
Stranger: hahaaa
Stranger: weird
You: He is, of course, of no relation to the Nazi leader Adolf Hitler. Just a strange coincidence that makes people not believe me when I tell them he's chasing after me
Stranger: you are mad hahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Stranger: okey
Stranger: good for you
Stranger: who is he then?
You: SHE's Mecha-Hitler
You: No one knows where she came from, or what she's doing
You: All we know
You: is that I have her left testicle
Stranger: ahhaaaa
Stranger: you are living in your own world
Stranger: hahaaaaaaa
You: Me and Mecha-Hitler
You: Unless I finally managed to escape!!!
You: YES!!!
Stranger: haha okey
Stranger: good
Stranger: so u have a girl friend?
Stranger: oh no u dont
Stranger: ha
You: Nah, I've got 99 Mecha-problems, but a ***** ain't one.
Stranger: mecha? i really wanna know who she is
Stranger: haaaaaaaaaaa
You: http://metapill.co.uk/pictures/munchkin%20nazis.jpg
You: That's who she is
Stranger: its not she ITS he
You: No, it's she
Stranger: yeah
Stranger: coz you are mad
Stranger: ha
You: She may look just like him and share a name with him, but she is not Hitler
You: She's Mecha-Hitler
Stranger: okey marry her
You: No, she'll kill me
Stranger: have a good life with her for good
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

 

[mcgroobber]

Spoiler: scaring pervs

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hey there
Stranger: f?
You: transgender
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Spoiler: scaring pervs part 2

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hi
Stranger: hi
You: how you doing
Stranger: i'm good
Stranger: m/f?
You: male
You: you
Stranger: female
Stranger: age?
You: 45 and naked
You: im just kidding
Stranger: aww
You: but seriously
Stranger: i want you to be
You: im sure you dont
You: i eat krispy kreme
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Spoiler: dinosaur is classic

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: Hey asl?
You: rawr a dinosaur
You: : ............................................... ..........................._,-~"ﯢ~-,
.................................................. ................__䭾"ﯺ::,-~~-,_::::"-
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............|::,-~"::::::::::::::"~~":::,-'::::::::::::::::::::::::_,-~':\'-,|:"'";;;;;;;;;;;;;;,-'ﺺ'-,:',\|
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:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::\ .............."~--䟟___䄭~~"
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Spoiler: dinosaur goes into film ratings

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: HEY
Stranger: your old,
You: HEYY HEYY HEY
You: how do you figure
Stranger: please dont rape me!
Stranger: :O
You: what about my dinosaur?
Stranger: keep it in your pants please
Stranger: i dont wanna get pregnant
You: .............................................. ..........................._,-~"ﯢ~-,
.................................................. ................__䭾"ﯺ::,-~~-,_::::"-
.................................................. ..........侢ﺺ::::::::::::"::::::::::::::::::::::\
.................................................. .__䄄-"::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::"~-,
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::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::"~-,_::|::\: : : : : : |: : \::::::::/:/
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::",:::::::::::::"-':::\: : : : : : |: : :\::::::\
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::",:::::::::::::: ::::\: : : : : : \: : : |:::::;;\
::::::::::::::::::"-,:::::::::::::::",:::::::::::::::/|\ ,: : : : : : : |::::,'/|::::|
:::::::::::::::::::::"-,:::::::::::::::"-,_::::::::::\|:/|,: : : : : : : |::: |'-,/|:::|
::::::::::::::::::::::::"~-,_::::::::::::::"~-,_:::"-,/|/\::::::::::: \::: \"-/|::|
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::"~-,__:::::::::::',"-,:::"_|/\:|\: : : : \::\":/|\|
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::"~-,_:::::\:::\:::"~/_:|:|\: : : '-,\::"::,'\
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::"-,_:'-,::\:::::::"-,|:||\,-, : '-,\:::|-'-伢r />:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: ::,-,'"-:"~,:::::"/_/::|-/\--';;\:::/: ||\-,
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: :/...'-,::::::"~人::"-,/_:|:/\:/|/|/|_/:|
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: |......"-,::::::::"~-:::::""~~~"ﺺ:|
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: |........."-,_::::::::::::::::::::::::::::/
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::\ .............."~--䟟___䄭~~"
You: it just came out
Stranger: oh it cummed.
You: now thats inapropriate
You: lets keep this pg- 13
You: shit
You: shit
You: there we go
Stranger: lol.
You: pg-13
Stranger: how old are you?
You: 8 and 3/4
Stranger: :O
Stranger: what
Stranger: what the fuck
You: whats wrong
Stranger: your young
Stranger: go fuck a duck.
You: im matur for my age
You: thats you only time you can say the f word
You: then its R
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Spoiler: us americans

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: Hi
You: parles tu francais?
Stranger: No..
You: sprecken ze deustch?
Stranger: Nope.
You: hable espagnol?
Stranger: Also no :\
You: you speak american?
Stranger: Yup
You: good
Stranger: How many languages do you speak??
You: im american, i only speak one

Spoiler: chris hansen never gets old

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hey asl
You: how do you do
You: im a 14 f sweden
You: naked
You: and im chris hansen
your conversational partner has disconnected

 

[mcgroobber]

double post sry

 

[Mcupobob]

Spoiler: Who the hell is this horny guy?

You: Hello
Stranger: hey you horny?
You: No my name is dave
You: Who is this Horny person your looking for?
Stranger: LOL
Stranger: nice dave

Spoiler: The search for Horny and Nirvana

You: You this horny person everyones been looking for?
Stranger: unfortuantly no..
Stranger: but i mean they've been searchin for whoever that is for awhile now
You: Oh to bad everyone keeps asking me if I'm horny
You: Sad to tell them That I'm really dave
Stranger: yeah i mean i feel bad like, i hope whoever horny is is okay
You: I'm starting to think they will never find him
You: Yeah me too alot of people seem to be looking for him
Stranger: its sad really
You: I hope they find him soon I tried google searching him
You: But all I got were some unsavoir imagies
You: images*
Stranger: ick i'm sorry dave, that must've been...unpleasant
You: It was
Stranger: so...whats up with you
You: Oh nothing really I'm on a desert island you see
You: But luckly this place has Wi-Fi
Stranger: that sounds like one hell of a desert island
You: I know and theres Ice cream all over the place
You: And scary monsters
You: I'm starting to think I should'nt have eaten those mushrooms in my backyard
Stranger: maybe if you give the monsters ice cream they'll be happier
Stranger: and that probs
Stranger: wasn't
Stranger: a good idea
You: I'm realizing that now but I think I'm about to reach Navina
You: The band not the absoultion with the unvierse
Stranger: Nirvana?
You: Yeah those guys!
You: Now that I know their true name I can reach absoultion with the unvierse or just hear some wicked tunes
You: yeah...
Stranger: good luck with that!
You: Thank you!
You: Hang the severs overloaded
You: *SMASH*

Will be back with more, Forgot how fun Omegel is!

EDIT-

Spoiler: U hav Tits?

Stranger: fist my ass
You: Okay *Punches your butt check*
Stranger: m or f?
You: Let me check
You: ......
You: I seem to have a penis
Stranger: yea, but you could be a /d/ickgirl
Stranger: keep looking
Stranger: u hav tits?
You: Let me check again
You: ......
You: Nope
Stranger: oh
Stranger: that must mean...
Stranger: YOU'RE A GIRL!
You: HOLY SHIT
Stranger: either that
Stranger: or i really dont understand
Stranger: human anatomy

 

[SoloStoffe]

Stranger: i'm a girl with a penis
You: lolwat
Stranger: like lady gaga
You: And I'm a gay vampire.
You: Like Edward.

 

[SpaceSpork]

Spoiler: Bill Cosby!

You: hey
Stranger: hi
You: how r u?
Stranger: i'm fine..
Stranger: 15 f ina
You: 14 m euro
Stranger: cool
You: wht r u doin?
Stranger: play facebook
Stranger: do u hve facebook..?
You: ya!
Stranger: nice!
Stranger: add me..
Stranger: uh.. wait..
Stranger: ur name please,,
You: Bill Cosby.
You have disconnected.

Spoiler: Dino rape.

Stranger: 19m usa NOT looking for naughty pics, looking for normal girls
You: 21 f sweden, same, i'm a christian
Stranger: im matt
You: hi im stephanie
Stranger: you horny?
You: a lil . . . what r u doin?
Stranger: just in my bed..naked
You: oooh!
You: I'm currently raping a dinosaur.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

 

[SpaceSpork]

Spoiler: WARNING: EXPLICIT (But really funny)

Stranger: hey asl
You: 19/f/florida
Stranger: horny?
You: o fuck yes ;D
You: u?
Stranger: yesss
Stranger: im 15 though is that ok?
You: o ya, i'm kind of a pedo
Stranger: in a good way?
Stranger:
You: fuckm yes1
You: *yes!
Stranger: will u give me a good time?
You: oh ya!
You: wil u ;D
Stranger: kk gimme a sec, and yeah
Stranger: let me go to my room
You: ooh . . .
Stranger: ok back
You: yay ;D
Stranger: so watr u wearin?
You: im nekkid
Stranger: hott
You: u?
Stranger: whats the hottest clothes u own
Stranger: im wearin some athletic shorts no underwear
You: hm . . .
You: letssee . . .
You: ooh i kno!
You: my pink skirt that only goes dow to my bycep
You:
Stranger: niceee
Stranger: hottest lingerie?
Stranger: im in the bathroom btw
You: my booty pop pants, which make my butt look lik it gos out 10 in instead of the regulr 7 ;D
Stranger: u there?
Stranger: niceee
You: ooh hotttt!
Stranger: describe urself
Stranger: 8in dick btw
Stranger: soo hard right now
You: red hair that goes halfway don my bakk, blu eyes, and bibg, BIG tiities
Stranger: niceee
You: 8 in?! woww
Stranger:
Stranger: wanna take my shorts off?
You: ohhhhh yes
Stranger: theyre off
Stranger: im all urs sexyy
You: oooooh yes!
You: wanna c a pic?
Stranger: sure
You: u no, im a playboy modell.
Stranger:
Stranger: i mean
Stranger: lemme see
You: http://tinyurl.com/24v7g2
You: hot, rite?
Stranger: what?
You have disconnected.

Spoiler: I AM ATHENA!

Stranger: 17 male UK, get's the whole asl out of the way straight away.
You: 19 female L.A.
You: And I never ask asl, fyi ;D.
You: I just find it annoying.
Stranger: Ahhh good.
Stranger: I think it's alright to find out, but STRAIGHT AWAY spamming asl is annoying.
Stranger: Makes me want to strangle them/
Stranger:
You: Gasp! Could it be?!
You: An intellegent person?!
You: ON OMEGLE!
You: BLASPHEMY!
Stranger: Where?
Stranger:
Stranger: I don't see one.
Stranger:
You: Lull!
You: She's right here
Stranger: WHERE?
Stranger: What's her name? ;p
You: My name's Athena, thank you
Stranger: Atgena
Stranger: Athena*
Stranger: Rawr
Stranger:
You: God of intellegence, you know.
You: But I can't imagine she was bad in the bedroom . . .
Stranger: IS THAT SOME HINTING?
Stranger: Just throw in a nudge and a wink or two and I'm sold
Stranger: aha
You: Oh then . . . *nudge nudge* *wink wink*
Stranger: I may not be named after a God
Stranger: But I have been told I have the "body of an Olypmian God"
Stranger: Not even making that up
You: Oh, I'm so rude! What's you're name
Stranger: Tom
You: Tom!
Stranger: HELLO
You: My friend's name is Tom.
Stranger: AM I YOUR FRIEND?
You: PREHAPS!
Stranger: Or do you have something else in mind for me?
Stranger:
Stranger: Oh
Stranger: Yeah
Stranger: NUDGE NUDGE
Stranger: WINK
Stranger: TWITCH
Stranger: WINK
You: Well, we can be more than friends you know . . .
You: NUDGE!
You: WINK!
Stranger: Well, give me your msn
Stranger: I just realised my internet turns off and on again any minute now
Stranger: Fack I just realised
You: Don't have one, sorry
Stranger: [email protected] is mine
Stranger: Erm
Stranger: Facebook?
You: Feck.
You: Yes!
Stranger: WELL GIMME
Stranger:
Stranger: http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1024226782
Stranger: Is me
Stranger:
Stranger: AND GET MSN
You: Fine.
You: Here's mine: http://www.facebook.com/pages/ATHENA/71178113476
You: I'm kind of a musician ;D
Stranger: I can see that
You: Usually, I type in caps, cuz I'm kind of a spaz ;D
You: Aw man, I have to go to a PARTY that I don't want to go to.
You: Message me!
You have disconnected.

You see, the humor in this comes not from the conversation itself, but from our knowledge that there will be an incredibly awkward moment when he asks this Athena chick how she's doing. She'll be like, "WHO THE FUCK R U?!?"

 

[SpaceSpork]

Spoiler: Ime

Stranger: Hey Ime Willow
Ime 15 x
You: Ime disconnecting.
You have disconnected.

Spoiler: Stranger is typing . . .

You: hi!
Stranger: Hiii
You: asl?
Stranger: 14 f mn .
You: hey! im from mn too!
You: m 16
Stranger: Hahah cool .
Stranger:
('Stranger is typing' for a minute or so . . .)
You: YOU TAKE TOO LONG TO TYPE I HATE YOU YOU'LL NEVER HAVE SEX
You have disconnected.

 

[spartan1077]

Spoiler: First convo is normal...YAY!

You: hi
Stranger: THE BEAST AND THE HARLOT
You: is a great song...
You: I could never beat it on Guitar hero (lies! It was quite easy...)
You:
Stranger: D:
Stranger: I never played on GH
Stranger: I Have an Wii, and doesn't have GH2 for wii
Stranger:
You: too bad...it was really fun was one of the harder songs...
You: Wii sports is the only thing I play on wii
Stranger: it's awesome
Stranger: ahahahha
Stranger: I have a lot of games
You: rlly? Like zelda and stuff?
Stranger: yes
You: sweet Red steel too?
Stranger: yes
Stranger: 1 and 2
You: are they fun? I might go rent 2 (No I won't...)
Stranger: Well, actually I never played, I bought these days
You: damn...I hope they're fun
Stranger: haha so do I
Stranger: the reviews are good
Stranger: hey, I gotta go now, do you have facebook, msn, sth like that?
You: no...I'm not into social networking.
You: Have fun with your wii though
Stranger: thanks
Stranger: cya
Stranger: \o

Spoiler: Some people just aint religous

You: I am your God
Stranger: Hi
Stranger: Hi God, why do bad things happen to me?
Stranger: Can I have sex with other girls?
You: Yes you can
Stranger: Can I marry other girls?
You: Only in Canada...and everywhere but America
Stranger: pfft if your God you could make it happen

Spoiler: Quick! Call dateline!

Stranger: m or f
You: Omnipotent being
Your partner has disconnected.

Spoiler: ITS A TRAP

Stranger: (pretend this is a wity intro which would impress a chick), so are you a chick? :
You: Wow! That impressed me so much!
Stranger: haha you forgot
Stranger: /sarcasm
You: No, there was no sarcasm-your intro was original and awesome
Stranger: haha you serious?
You: It was funny and original...and awesome SO YES I'm SUPER SERIOUS!
Stranger: lhaha cool
Stranger: so whats new?
Stranger: i am bored as hell.
You: So am I...you know in Super Mario 64 where you play in course 5: Big Boo's Haunt and you do Big Boo's Balcony: where is the star? I killed big boo but can't find it...
Stranger: oh i have played the game but no idea what ur exaclty talkinga bout lol
You: Lol too bad-I'm playing it right now and can't find the star
Stranger: aw i would totally help you out
Stranger: do you have msn?
You: No.
You: Social networking is lame
Stranger: haha i kno huh
Stranger: i dont have fb
Stranger: never bothered
Stranger: maybe caue i dont have friends but watever
You: I know what you mean
You: Friends are for nerds and losers
Stranger: we have so much in common
Stranger: we're meant to be
Stranger: how old are you? haha
You: Age is unimportant in love!!!!
Stranger: that is so true... unless ur really young
Stranger: thats just wrong tho
You: Pedophilia is wrong but I'm at the age of consent
Stranger: cool so ur 18
Stranger: awesome
Stranger: i am 22
You: mhmmm
Stranger: so ur a gamer huh?
You: yup
Stranger: thats sexy.
You: wanna see a picture my friend drew of me?
Stranger: lol sure.
You: http://tinyurl.com/2cl3c4t
Stranger: lol isnt that anime?
Stranger: got a real pic?
You: No! That's my friends drawing of me!
You: Sure I ave a real picture
Stranger: cool
You: http://www.ackbar.org/images/ackbar.jpg
Stranger: lol i didnt even open link
Stranger: and yup
Stranger: thought so
You: thought so of what?
Stranger: ur pic
You: what about it
You: ITS A TRAP!
Stranger: sigh

 

[Nouw]

Spoiler: This guy is either really is thinking of suicide or is pulling my leg

You: Hello
You: I am procastinating
Stranger: what are u procrastinating
You: I am doing other stuff when I should really be doing a health report
You: On Alcohol
Stranger: on alc,weed,codone. just spoke with my grandpa its his bday, judging by the way he was talking he seemed like he felt he was going soon
Stranger: n im thinkin bout suicide
Stranger: so i think ur ok
Stranger: and thats not a lie
You: Well I'm sure there's a good reason to live
Stranger: nah
Stranger: not really
Stranger: im a shitty person anyway
You: I'm sure you're a nice person
Stranger: not really
Stranger: but nuff bout me
Stranger: why u gotta do a health report
You: Just Cause
You: It's just like homework
You: Ah well I've done a lot on it
Stranger: true how old are you
You: I'd rather not say
Stranger: why
Stranger: youll never speak to me again
Stranger: idk who you are
Stranger: be free with your thoughts
Stranger: its fun
You: I know
Stranger: im 19
You: Mmmhmm
Stranger: ur like a wall
You: A wall?
Stranger: like im talking to a wall
You: Oh well

 

[spartan1077]

Spoiler: YOU AINT GOT NO PANCAKES!

You: The government is lying to you!
Stranger: I know
You: Do you?
You: Or are you the government!
Stranger: Yes
You: Yes....AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA ITS A TRAP!
Stranger: Go greenparty
You: ...go all day breakfast party
Stranger: Lol
You: They are supporting something bigger than all of us!
Stranger: Oh I know. The tsa
You: Damn TSA always taki- YOU AINT GOT NO PANCAKE MIX!!!! STOP LYING TO THESE PEO-ng my stuff away from me
Stranger: Haha. U should about it
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Spoiler: Justin?

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label 'Stranger:'. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
You: I don't want to talk to you
You: but I will
You: So hi
You: hai
You: bonjour
You: hola
You: hello
You: hey
You: sup
You: whats up
You: what's up
You: ...I don't know anymore greetings
Stranger: justin?
You: Bieber!
Stranger: u are justin
You: If I was...who would know?
Stranger: where u from
You: I don't think I should tell you...you could have pulled my name outta your ass
Stranger: but u are just o no
Stranger: justin!ç
You: Daniel?
Stranger: tiiii
(I was so close to guessing his name...)

Spoiler: Sad story bro

You: HELOOOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOASNDAS FASHFK THIS IS A LONG POST
SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDd
Stranger: cool story, bro.
You: is it? I thought it was more of a sad story

 

[JoJo]

[spoiler = I'm a ghost rabbit!] You: Hi
Stranger: YELLOW
You: I'm a ghost
You: I'm coming to get you.
Stranger: IM AN ALIEAN
Stranger: ALIEN
You: What planet?
Stranger: im waiting for you
Stranger: nice
You: I'm an Earth ghost, used to be rabbit.
Stranger: EARTH
Stranger: UR ANUS
You: I went to Uranus once.
Stranger: rabbies?
Stranger: nice
You: The weather was terrible
Stranger: it tickled
You: Nice scenery though
Stranger: lmfao
Stranger: HAHAHAHHAHAHA
Stranger: yeah
Stranger: thats what i heard
You: Male or female?
Stranger: BOTH
Stranger: dumass
Stranger: LOL
You: So your one of those aliens who are both eh?
You: Nice ;-)
You: I'm a male rabbit, my names Peter
Stranger: yeah
Stranger: i put stuff in places
Stranger: haha
You: I got put into a Pie by Mr. MacGregor
Stranger: PETER EATER
Stranger: haha
You: That's why I'm dead
Stranger: WTF ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
Stranger: now your confusing me
You: Do you know who Mr. MacGregor is?
Stranger: ohh
Stranger: so aids?
Stranger: i get it
Stranger: AQUAIDS
Stranger: SQUAIDS
Stranger: rabbit aids
Stranger: (Squirrel Aids)
Stranger: AND NO IDEA
You: He lives down the lane in Oakdale.
You: Big bearded fellow with a fat wife.
Stranger: ok
Stranger: thats nice
Stranger: ohh
You: Where have you landed?
Stranger: and i landed on your moms auns
Stranger: WANNA PLAY HIDE THE SNICKERS?
Stranger: anus
Stranger: talk to me
Stranger:
Stranger: ---8
You: Sorry for delay
You: My friend Tabitha Cat had to speak to me
Stranger: did you have to grab a coke?
Stranger: its ok
You: What's a snickers?
Stranger: lmaio
Stranger: EVERYONE KNOWS WHAT A SNICKERS IS
Stranger: WTF
Stranger: GO TO HELL FOR NOT KNOWING
Stranger: your a bad ghost
You: I'm a fine English gentlerabbit and I have never heard of any such things.
Stranger: wow
Stranger: lol
Stranger: rabbit
Stranger: this conversation is going no where
Stranger: my friend
You: Very well
You: I bid you good day
Stranger: lol
You: If you see Jermia Puddleduck tell her I'm out of eggs
Stranger: as well as you
You: Good bye!
Stranger: WAIT
Stranger: BABY COME BACK
Stranger: !!
You: Yes?
Stranger: i wanna have children
You: So do I, one day.
Stranger: lol
Stranger: oh ok
Stranger: bye
Stranger: BYE
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[/spoiler]

 

[mParadox]

Spoiler: asl please!

You: nom nom nom
Stranger: hey
You: hola
Stranger: asl
You: what's with the asl anyway?
You: wht does it show?
You: i is confuzzled
Stranger: age sex location
You: Ah...
You: And why is it oh so important?
Stranger: just to know
You: ah.. i see....
You: you first
You: asl
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Spoiler: this one was actually sane

You: omg
Stranger: hi
Stranger: wtf?
You: What?
Stranger: you said omg
Stranger: why?
You: dramatic entrance dear starger person
You: *stranger
Stranger: you are a pscycho doctor? or what?
You: My interest in psychology is there.
You: but no. not a phycho doctor
You: not yet
You: maybe i shoulf watch House more
Stranger:
You: or maybe Dexter. Which one do you pick?
Stranger: house is favourite
Stranger: fro me
You: A-yup
You: I agree on that one.
Stranger: what do you study?
You: Biology
You: Medical
You: Yourself?
Stranger: i study environmental studies
You: :O
You: THat's awesome!
You: I wanted to be that but....
You: you know... but i'd rather keep it as a hobby.
Stranger: yeah, sorry but i have to go
Stranger: have a nice day
Stranger: bye
You: Good day!

Spoiler: the tournament of emoticons!

Stranger: looking for a gay or bi guy.
You: Not yet.
You:
Stranger: Lol. what does that mean?
You: >_>
You: Better you don't know then.
Stranger: <.<
You: >_<
Stranger: <.>
You: O_O
Stranger: -____-
You: @_@
Stranger:
You: D:
Stranger: ;__;
You: ... ok i got nothing to counter that with.
You: Good show.
You: *claps*
Stranger: lolol.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Spoiler: Against my better judgement, I tried it out.

Stranger: hi
You: hi
Stranger: whats up
You: I'm at school, procrastinating
You: as per usual
Stranger: fight the power lol
You: indeed. What are you doing?
Stranger: at work slacking off lol
You: Omegle, where slackers unite
Stranger: yeah basically lol
You: So, male or female?
Stranger: male
You: same
Stranger: kinda figured from the united laziness
Stranger: lol
You: Well, the internet is the ultimate enabler.
Stranger: hell yeah no argument here i could play games watch tv even break the law and not even have to leave my chair
You: The best of every world
Stranger: well at least every world that can connect lol
You: Where do you work?
Stranger: a company that does the secuirty systems of other companys
You: Cool, technician then?
Stranger: something like that
Stranger: i make sure that no systems frequency's are the same that way no signals cross
You: Makes sense. I have the same issue in my field, to a certain extent.
Stranger: like in a way its like your schools security on the doors or whatever opens to the tune of your ring tone
You: lol
Stranger: i prevent something like that happening
You: Or instigate something like that happening XD
Stranger: well if they ever fire me i wont spare them the irony of being company robber
You: They better keep you happy then.
Stranger: its why i am head manager of my own division
You: I'm into film myself. Camera work, editing, direction, etc.
Stranger: nice we actually need people who are good with cameras like what do u think retinal eyes scans are
Stranger: u might not be able to film anyone but you would get paid well
You: Sorry, no deal.
You: Although money is very attractive to me right now.
You: University tuition
Stranger: it usually is especially highschool students getting set for college
Stranger: omg i know student loans are a ***** to pay off
You: I'm lucky. I'm living with an aunt and my parents saved up for a long time to give me something to work with.
You: No student loans yet but I'll be in debt next year.
Stranger: makes me wanna stand infron of the building where u have to pay them and tell every one who works their as they go in to fuck them selves
Stranger: oh so join me infront of the irs building flipping of the workers
You: After I graduate. Need to stay friendly with the right people. All part of the game. Once I'm done, I'll make a film about how stupid the rates are.
Stranger: lol well i will be looking forward to that block buster
Stranger: but remember the old saying becare of those who shake with one hand while getting ready to stab u in the back with the other
You: Beware of the yes-man.
You: Incidentally, you're American right?
Stranger: funny movie by the way
Stranger: yeah i am
Stranger: jim carry Yes man lol
You: I'm your northern neighbor
You: And it was a good movie
Stranger: dude i dont mean this as an insult but i was a this store where they make novelty shirts and one sad canada america's hat
You: Hear it all the time
Stranger: lol i actually have friends i play with online who are from cananda
You: We are the Beaver XD
You: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sWX8uWf2LhQ
Stranger: cant watch videos at work remember its easier to hide conversations but videos attract attention
Stranger: to people i am just typing away doing work
Stranger: but videos hard to hide lol
You: I see. You'll have to watch it sometime
Stranger: but i will book mark it and save it for later
Stranger: break time in like 20mins
You: I've got to go soon.
You: Maturity kicking in.
Stranger: same here the shift manager will be making is runs to keep us in check lol
Stranger: so yup good timing ot the both of us
Stranger: peace out

Now to actually get some serious work done.

 

[Heart of Darkness]

Aw, man, my partner didn't play along with me.

Spoiler: Aw, man.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Oh, no, it's happened again.
Stranger: Hm?
You: It's happened again.
Stranger: What has happened?
You: I woke up in my garden this morning bloodied and naked.
You: I have no idea what I did last night.
Stranger: HAHAHAAHAHA
You: This isn't a joke!
You: I'm beginning to think I may be a danger to others!
Stranger: HAHAHAHA
You: I'm being serious, but actually...
You: I don't think this is my house.
You: I have no idea where the hell I am, actually.
Stranger: Yes and you are on the computer how?
You: I...am not entirely sure.
Stranger: AHAHAHA
Stranger: You're a funny lad.
You: I kinda just stumbled in the house in a stupor, and wound up here.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Spoiler: Lying about your gender is fun!

Stranger: hi
You: Help
Stranger: m/f?
You: option 3
Stranger: ?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

 

[Heart of Darkness]

BAHAHA. Poor guy. He didn't stand a chance against MSPA references.

Spoiler: I TOLD YOU ABOUT STAIRS, BRO.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: I TOLD YOU ABOUT STAIRS, BRO.
Stranger: which stairs ??????
You: THE STAIRS. THE ONES I TOLD YOU ABOUT!
You: THE ONES YOU KEEP FALLING DOWN.
You: AND IT KEEPS HAPPENING.
You: YOU FALL DOWN, AND I SAY "I TOLD YOU ABOUT STAIRS, BRO!"
Stranger: hmmmmmmmm..... where r u from ?
You: Someplace.
You: THere's a lot of lava, and a bunch of skeletal buildings.
You: And these damn imps keeps bothering me!
Stranger: lol.
You: Buncha feathery assholes.
Stranger: r u .. male or ??
You: Doesn't matter.
You: I'm alone in here, anyway.
Stranger: come and take me ...
You: Take you where?
You: This is the only place that still exists.
You: At least from my point of view.
You: Although it'll only be one of two if my friend stop flipping the fuck out.
You: *stops
Stranger: coooool......
You: What about you?
You: Fare someplace better, for the time being?
You: There's a meteor coming to destroy the world, so nothing's going to last much longer.
Stranger: ya u r rite
You: I know I'm right.
You: Me entering the Medium *which is where the lava place is) gave me the ability to see into the future.
You: But I didn't need it to see this giant meteor heading for Earth on this monitor here.
You: And trust me, it's pretty big.
Stranger: shal ve chat ?
You: Chat about what?
You: Impending doom? Or trivial things that are no longer of any importance now that the rules of the game have changed?
Stranger: abt us ?
You: I've pretty much said all there is about me...well, the relevant information, anyway.
You: You are welcome to introduce yourself, though.
Stranger: am vijay ....
Stranger: 20 yrs
You: Hello Vijay.
Stranger: doin b.e 2nd yr
Stranger: wat abt yu?
You: Well, if you must know.
You: My name's Dave Coolguy, thirteen years, and I'm the most ironic ************ you will ever meet.
You: EVER.
Stranger: coool
Stranger: sry
You: It is.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

I honestly should've ended this with "Enjoy your meteor." Bah!

 

[LogicNProportion]

A bit risque at the end, but I stopped it in time.

Spoiler

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label 'Stranger:'. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
Stranger: hi
You: "hi!"
You: The thing told me to say that
Stranger: which
You: The thing at the top of the screen
Stranger: okay
You: Can you tell me how to get to YouTube?
You: My grandchildren love those cats
Stranger: are you a grandma?
You: Half of one
Stranger: ???????????
You: Stupid lawnmower could not have finished the job
Stranger: do you want me to finish the job
You: Make it quick and painless, I fear pain
Stranger: sweet pain
You: Now before you kill me, let me say a prayer
Stranger: okay say it
You: O Xenu, as you relay upon to me, your faithful servant on this earth, let me afterlife be a good one, in hopes that St.Nicholas will soon be there, and visions B-19's dance in my prayers. Amen.
You: Do it.
Stranger: okay let me first your clitoris
Stranger: lick
You have disconnected.