one sentence to save your life.
- Thread starter theheroofaction
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I have a piece of armor the size of a bullet somewhere on my body. If you hit it, you will be the laughing stock of the entire town.
If you're after my money - here have it, I'm poor anyway, if you're just plain evil I'd be better off helping you anyways - I'm more evil than you - here give me that *insert weapon here* I'll prove it to you that I can kill someone faster than you can!
With my last breath, I shall mightily bellow,
"Penis!"
If that doesn't save my life, then it will at least make a very amusing last word that the said evil generic henchmen will talk about for years to come with friends, relatives, and even their children when they finally get old enough to start taking up their father's mantles in the henchmanning business. No matter of how many stalwart and exemplary heroes and protagonists they thwart and regardless of the beautiful, meaningful and deep final speeches they give, they will never have a scenario quite as amusing and timeless.
Time will go on, and the tale of that one weird man to exclaim "Penis!" as his epithet to his relentless aggressors shall metamorphisize from local tale of inexplicable weirdness to timeless tale of surreality, and kingdoms and nations shall be built upon the lessons learned from the then-ancient legend. Statues shall be built of me, and monarchs shall take my name. A new world will arise from "Penis!".
... That, or it would be "DEARGODDERAGODDEARGOD PLEASEDON'TKILLME!TAKE MY SON INSTEAD!" to which I would offer up some one else's child as I did siphon their gasoline from their SUV earlier that day (because stable and satisfying marital bonds and responsible procreation are for turkeys).
"Penis!"
If that doesn't save my life, then it will at least make a very amusing last word that the said evil generic henchmen will talk about for years to come with friends, relatives, and even their children when they finally get old enough to start taking up their father's mantles in the henchmanning business. No matter of how many stalwart and exemplary heroes and protagonists they thwart and regardless of the beautiful, meaningful and deep final speeches they give, they will never have a scenario quite as amusing and timeless.
Time will go on, and the tale of that one weird man to exclaim "Penis!" as his epithet to his relentless aggressors shall metamorphisize from local tale of inexplicable weirdness to timeless tale of surreality, and kingdoms and nations shall be built upon the lessons learned from the then-ancient legend. Statues shall be built of me, and monarchs shall take my name. A new world will arise from "Penis!".
... That, or it would be "DEARGODDERAGODDEARGOD PLEASEDON'TKILLME!TAKE MY SON INSTEAD!" to which I would offer up some one else's child as I did siphon their gasoline from their SUV earlier that day (because stable and satisfying marital bonds and responsible procreation are for turkeys).
*checks pager* ahhh crap, hay guys, can we do this another time, my sister's just woken up for a nightmare and is crying for me to be with her, lets see when i can schedule you in...ummmm..ah here we go, 6 months for now i'll came back to this very spot and we'll resume, thanks
As a few people have said before me.
The insane approach always works.
I would start laughing insanely, fall on the ground, drool and start slamming my head into the ground. They might go away then, or they might stay and watch me beat myself to death.
Either way it'll make a good story for someone.
The insane approach always works.
I would start laughing insanely, fall on the ground, drool and start slamming my head into the ground. They might go away then, or they might stay and watch me beat myself to death.
Either way it'll make a good story for someone.
I think it's only fair to warn you, this area is surrounded by 130 Black Op snipers...
Would you believe two dozen Delta Force commandos...?
How about Chuck Norris with a BB Gun?
Would you believe two dozen Delta Force commandos...?
How about Chuck Norris with a BB Gun?
You idiots! You think this is the real Quaid!? *1...2...3* IT IS! NYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
"If you kill me, you won't be able to stop my friend in time." that sentence will at the very least cause him to stop and think if they found my friend or not, who, of course, probably doesn't exist.
Damn, all the Monkey Island quotes have been used.
I guess maybe something like, "Oh look over there, there is a badger with a gun do you see him? Surely he is going to kill us a-* Then I would proceed to leg it.
Or, "TWO X EQUALS TEN, SOLVE FOR X!" You'd be surprised how much you can interrupt a persons focus by throwing simple maths at them.
I guess maybe something like, "Oh look over there, there is a badger with a gun do you see him? Surely he is going to kill us a-* Then I would proceed to leg it.
Or, "TWO X EQUALS TEN, SOLVE FOR X!" You'd be surprised how much you can interrupt a persons focus by throwing simple maths at them.
"Don't kill me; I know where my towel is!"
I suppose if I were being killed by someone who knows sci-fi, that would work.
I suppose if I were being killed by someone who knows sci-fi, that would work.
