Open Letter to Parents of League of Legends' Players

[The Bucket]

I still say that is more of a product of users inability to team up.

And really, this felt less like he was preaching the merits of the game and more as him instructing how parents should discipline their children in regards to games.

It comes across as volatile mix of obvious self interest and presumption on behalf of the writer. That he somehow have the inside scoop on how horrible parents are to their kids playing the game and need to be taught how to do it right.

I can understand why people object. I don't think kids need to be taught respect because of other players in a game. No, they need to be taught respect because of other people period.

But respecting their parents is a good start. And if they don't do that and it requires the parent to take their toy away (Because it is a toy, at least to a kid), they will do so. They cannot be expected to put their parenting and their domestic situation on hold for people they have never met.

I'm sorry, shit happens, sometimes parents need to turn the computer off - NOW.

Hell, if you want parents to support you then don't talk down to them. Explain how the game is more than a toy. If you can't do that then I'm sorry, it's going to turned off because it's dinner now.

If you want to keep the competitive element of the game, you need to team up with people as dedicated as you and if you can't, then the game is lacking.

Foe the record I dont play MOBAs, and I disagree with the tone and some measures at certain points in the letter, but I dont get the fury over it. Playing a game all the way through isnt a courtesy or request being made by the game, its part of the rules and the TOS everyone agrees to when they sign up. Of course real life gets in the way some time (I dont think anyone who plays online has never had to disconnect mid game at some time), but a call for better scheduling isn't all that unreasonable to me. And I dont see it as purely a competitive issues, if you play a game for half an hour and its cut short by someone d/c, that's pretty frustrating and anti-climatic no matter how 'seriously' you take it

 

[shiaramoon]

It has nothing to do with the importance of the game. Or people's stats. Or anything like that. Its just straight up being impolite by starting something that is a significant time commitment with a bunch of other people when you know you're not going to finish.

Multiplayer interactions are always at your own risk. You can never ever be guaranteed a good experience, because other people do not exist to facilitate your entertainment.

If you want to guarantee that, you play with people who would never be interrupted and only those people. Or you play singleplayer games (And this is a large reason why a lot of people prefer them).

This letter is a person going out of their way to tell parents that they are in the wrong, in being parents, because the game should take priority over dinner.

Why? Because he says so. Some random internet ****wit that has no claim our authority to impose any kind of rule whatsoever on their kids. He himself has made no effort to minimize the possibilities of his entertainment being cut short by other people's lives interfering, but is demanding that other people do it for him.

The notion that a kid should or would "know" they don't have time is laughable. I've never heard of a kid that could keep track of the time while they were playing.

It is impolite to leave, sure. But it happens. It's even more impolite to throw a hissy fit because of it.

I agree that there is a certain amount of risk inherent in games like LoL. However, children who are about 10 and older can learn to manage their time wisely. The parents can even help them. For instance, a parent can check in with the child about an hour before bed/dinner/ect and remind them that they need to wrap things up. Then the child can either finish their current match or not start a new one and then they can spend their remaining computer time doing something else.

Now this system is still not perfect, but it does encourage the development of good manners and time management. I disagree with he orginal letter saying you should let the child finish a match that's only 5 minutes in when the child needs to log off. Instead, the child should be made to post an apology to the other players admitting that the child knew he/she needed to get off soon and started a game anyway. The apology is less about making the other players feel better and more about making he child realize how his choices affect others and holding him/her responsible for their mistakes.

Now if the parent is a gamer themselves, then they can take over for the child with a quick post explaining the situation. Otherwise, the child should log off and perhaps not be allowed to play other games that affect others for a day or two as a consequence for inconviencing the other players. Again, this is not a perfect system and there would still be people getting dumped mid game. However, I believe this method would minimize those instances as well as encouraging children to learn how to manage their time and be considerate of others.

 

[Revnak_v1legacy]

...

There is, of course, no denying the irony that the people that letter is trying to reach out to are specifically the ones who are least likely to read it.

Still, though - not everything written as "hey, here's a problem I've come across and I've at least made an initial attempt to offer up a solution rather than just whine about it" needs to be taken as "now do all of this perfectly every time to my standards so that I'm never inconvenienced again."

I can agree the tone is well placed. However, the real solution rests in the community itself, not in pointing a finger at parents. This is an unrealistic solution thus the jokes. It is also a very ignorant suggestion. The suggestion pisses off parents just as much as the kid leaving the game pisses off LoL players. The suggestion has no idea the magnitude of what it is truly asking for. Even reading the letter, or even stumbling on the letter is more than what is on most parents plates. A better solution would be to try to figure out a way to clean up the community and make the word "respect" that the letter loves so much something in abundance within the community and then the community could actually help me teach my kid about respect. However, that would ironically require "commitment" to such a cause. The letter is all about shirking off commitment and respect and laying the blame at someone else's feet. Though really, this is just a result of the vile nature surrounding the community. Games are dropped because why should my kid care about some ass out there who 3 minutes ago was bitching that his class is weak and he doesn't understand team building or whatever it is they argue about. Now surprise surprise, that guy found something new to complain about. I assure you this isn't a result of bad parenting, it is a result of a community who treats people as disposable and then when someone treats the game as disposable, we get this letter to parents.

In short, this isn't the solution they're looking for.

Clearly you are actually completely unaware of what you are talking about, because virtually every single major voice in the community is going to tell you that if you want to do well in solo queue, you have to be respectful and considerate towards other players. It is the best way to climb the rankings. Communicate, be patient, be positive, don't give up, all kinds of stuff like that. But no, nobody actually talks about that ever, the fifty Valkrin videos I watched on the subject were just an illusion.

And getting people to follow the meta to some degree is hardly disrespectful. Nobody would be okay with the guy who decided he wanted to play goalie too, so now there's two goalies. Nobody would be okay with the runningback who decided today he was a lineman. But suddenly when you apply this to competitive video games, it's all just a joke, and the people who get irritated are just little children.

And what the hell do you mean by class?

your LoL record in no way impacts your real life.

Given the lively professional and entertainment scene for League, this is absolutely false. At a certain level of play, this is no different than most any other sport, and if some parent walked up to the Varsity quarterback during the homecoming game and told them that they need to go take out the trash, you can bet that the other players on their team would be rightfully angry.

 

[Owyn_Merrilin]

It's basic netiquette to finish games you commit to. Nevermind imaginary points; if you up and leave 30 minutes into a game, you're taking a shit on up to 9 other player's time. It may be 'just a game', but the time and effort put into it is very real. It's very disrespectful to disregard it as insignificant.

This. It's a question of good manners, more than anything else. It's rude to leave in the middle of an online match, period. That applies whether it's something where a round lasts 10 minutes, like CoD or Unreal, or where it can last upwards of an hour, like LoL. The fact that LoL has such a small number of players in a match, and doesn't allow people to drop in and out just makes it worse -- if one player on a game like TF2 drops out, it's not ideal but realistically isn't likely to even be noticed. If half of them drop out, the remaining players on that team are temporarily screwed, but there's things that can be done to balance the teams during the match. In LoL, that's not possible. You have five people on each team, and there are no substitutions allowed during a match.

As for the reasons parents pull kids out of a game, I'm sure some of the time there's a good reason, but not always. I know when I was growing up, my mom didn't care what I was doing, if she decided I needed to do something (and there was never a set chore list, she'd just make demands at random), I had to do it right then, and she didn't care what I was doing. So if she filled up a trash can while I was playing a game, I had to get up and take it out, disrupting the match. I'd hope most parents are more reasonable than my psycho mother, but the point is, it takes something a lot more serious than "the trash can is full" to justify quitting in the middle of a game, and a lot of parents who grew up before online gaming was a thing don't get that. Their mental model of what gaming is like is still stuck somewhere around Super Mario Bros, and they don't realize that they're disrupting real people's leisure time, many of whom are adults with jobs and limited time to play, when they get all "my house, my rules" on their kids.

 

[Savagezion]

Clearly you are actually completely unaware of what you are talking about, because virtually every single major voice in the community is going to tell you that if you want to do well in solo queue, you have to be respectful and considerate towards other players. It is the best way to climb the rankings. Communicate, be patient, be positive, don't give up, all kinds of stuff like that. But no, nobody actually talks about that ever, the fifty Valkrin videos I watched on the subject were just an illusion.

And getting people to follow the meta to some degree is hardly disrespectful. Nobody would be okay with the guy who decided he wanted to play goalie too, so now there's two goalies. Nobody would be okay with the runningback who decided today he was a lineman. But suddenly when you apply this to competitive video games, it's all just a joke, and the people who get irritated are just little children.

And what the hell do you mean by class?

Clearly, I don't know what I am talking about as I initially said that these games don't appeal to me due to the community. Like it or not, you are actually arguing meta rules video games > parenting responsibility for children. I know you think you are not because you are going "but this is the rule structure" However, you are claiming that rule structure of a video game is more important than rule structure of your REAL home life. Just because they are both rule structures does NOT make them equal. I am worried about teaching my kid priorities and values for every day life, you are more worried about losing a match and wanting him to learn about priorities within the confines of a program. Your desires are selfish, mine have only him in mind. The letter asserts that respect for strangers is more important than responsibilities to yourself and your home. I see how the letter addresses respect for others but I also see how it throws out respect for rules and parents right out the window in favor of a game.

your LoL record in no way impacts your real life.

Given the lively professional and entertainment scene for League, this is absolutely false. At a certain level of play, this is no different than most any other sport, and if some parent walked up to the Varsity quarterback during the homecoming game and told them that they need to go take out the trash, you can bet that the other players on their team would be rightfully angry.

Let's be real here 99% of LoL players are not professionals or "varsity", they are bitchy gamers. And if you ARE a professional/"varsity" surely you'll do OK without the 10 year old on your team, and if you can't - as a professional your win rate must be so high you can afford a loss. Plus, I am all for people getting kicked off the varsity team - even mid game if they don't do the schoolwork involved. Same type of thing.

 

[SecondPrize]

Good luck with that. Children will always start a match with no thought as to whether they can complete it. If they have dinner every night at 8 pm, they will motherfucking start a match at 7:55. They just will. It's because they're assholes. This has been the case since the beginning of time, as far as multiplayer games go, and it will continue until the heat death of the universe.

 

[ccggenius12]

I can see how the specifics might be unrealistic, but I agree with the idea that parents should take an active role in minimizing the chances that their kids are actively screwing people over. The "no starting a game an hour before important activity x" rule makes sense, though I acknowledge that the parent may feel that an instantaneous reprimand is more fitting punishment.
Ideally, the report system should take care of players who make a habit of starting things they don't reasonably expect to be able to finish. My experience with ranked play indicates that it really doesn't though.
Basically, I support the parents' right to raise their children in the manner they choose (even if there are things I wish they'd do differently). It would be nice if they'd at least TRY to disincentivize their kid from putting people in that situation to begin with though. Active parenting, try it some time.

 

[Bat Vader]

I think it's really sad that someone takes a game this seriously that they feel they need to write to parents because of how petty and entitled they are. Players like that are just one of the many reasons why I don't play MP anymore besides MMOs.

 

[Revnak_v1legacy]

Clearly you are actually completely unaware of what you are talking about, because virtually every single major voice in the community is going to tell you that if you want to do well in solo queue, you have to be respectful and considerate towards other players. It is the best way to climb the rankings. Communicate, be patient, be positive, don't give up, all kinds of stuff like that. But no, nobody actually talks about that ever, the fifty Valkrin videos I watched on the subject were just an illusion.

And getting people to follow the meta to some degree is hardly disrespectful. Nobody would be okay with the guy who decided he wanted to play goalie too, so now there's two goalies. Nobody would be okay with the runningback who decided today he was a lineman. But suddenly when you apply this to competitive video games, it's all just a joke, and the people who get irritated are just little children.

And what the hell do you mean by class?

Clearly, I don't know what I am talking about as I initially said that these games don't appeal to me due to the community. Like it or not, you are actually arguing meta rules video games > parenting responsibility for children. I know you think you are not because you are going "but this is the rule structure" However, you are claiming that rule structure of a video game is more important than rule structure of your REAL home life. Just because they are both rule structures does NOT make them equal. I am worried about teaching my kid priorities and values for every day life, you are more worried about losing a match and wanting him to learn about priorities within the confines of a program. Your desires are selfish, mine have only him in mind. The letter asserts that respect for strangers is more important than responsibilities to yourself and your home. I see how the letter addresses respect for others but I also see how it throws out respect for rules and parents right out the window in favor of a game.

I did not ever fucking say that it was more important, at most I would say it is worth consideration. Don't put words in my mouth. My comment about following the meta was in response to you calling it disrespectful to call someone out for not following it.

your LoL record in no way impacts your real life.

Given the lively professional and entertainment scene for League, this is absolutely false. At a certain level of play, this is no different than most any other sport, and if some parent walked up to the Varsity quarterback during the homecoming game and told them that they need to go take out the trash, you can bet that the other players on their team would be rightfully angry.

Let's be real here 99% of LoL players are not professionals or "varsity", they are bitchy gamers. And if you ARE a professional/"varsity" surely you'll do OK without the 10 year old on your team, and if you can't - as a professional your win rate must be so high you can afford a loss. Plus, I am all for people getting kicked off the varsity team - even mid game if they don't do the schoolwork involved. Same type of thing.

Consideration. I am not saying that if Jimmy is flunking algebra that you should still let him play, I am saying that pulling him out of a game to go wash the car is a bit irritating. And since when is varsity pro? High schoolers are far from professionals, and people may not be talking about 10 year olds. Teens still have parents sometimes, or so I am told. Maybe that changed in the past few years, and now suddenly all teens never have to listen to their parents at any time.

Pro level players would be playing against and alongside pro level players, so no, they cannot handle losing a player. In fact, they are punished even worse for having one less player, as their opponents are probably going to know how to exploit that better. Your total ignorance of this game and its community continues to undermine your arguments.

Oh, and thanks for calling me bitchy. You must be so proud of yourself for being the first to stoop to insults in an argument with somebody from as toxic of a community as mine. I'll go make you a trophy if you want. You can put it on your shelf, so everybody can know how great a person you are, for insulting people you are totally unfamiliar with.

 

[nuclearday]

EDIT: As for the kid leaving to do a chore, that is respect. The kid respects the computer I provided, the internet, the food, the shelter, etc. The kid's priorities are indeed correct. Wouldn't it be nice if the community would show respect and just accept that he has to go eat dinner? Imaginary scores and records are less important than this kid whom you respect eating dinner with their family and you respect that. There will always be more games to play and your LoL record in no way impacts your real life.

Shouldn't that be going both ways, though?

I just don't think this is an "either/or," "all or nothing" situation.

Yeah, people should respect that there are unpredictable elements in real life and sometimes we all - young or old - have to quit a game because of pressing or more important needs.

But at the same time, isn't it also somewhat important to instill sportsmanlike conduct within our own children? It's not a situation where it's all one person or community's fault or another, as I see it. Here's how I look at it:

Yeah, I'd like most online communities to be more respectful - that's a problem I worry about a lot for my own son. It's only going to be getting worse by the time it's old enough to affect him. I would like most communities to start getting their act together - most of this is getting pretty tired. But it's also my job to do my part to try and help my son be more respectful in his interactions with those communities as well, then - otherwise you've just got a bunch of parents laying the blame on everyone else and nothing's going to get better.

(ie, if everyone that's contributing towards the hostility and lack of respect online was raised better and with more respectful values this wouldn't be a problem in the first place. If I want to expect better behavior from others online then I kind of have to do my part to raise the bar as well - and that unfortunately does mean considering other people online and treating them with the respect I would like to be treated with.)

So yeah, I don't disagree with you - I just think you're only talking to half of the issue.

 

[Kenbo Slice]

Oh no someone had to quit a game of League. What has the world come to? It's a fucking video game. It doesn't matter. I'm sorry if dinner with my family is more important than playing with some fucking random people online. The more I hear about the community surrounding LoL the less I even want to give it a go.

 

[CpT_x_Killsteal]

The only thing I agree with is not starting a game you can't finish.
Expecting the parent to let the child run roughshod over them because of a game is just pants-on-head retarded though.

Just give harsher penalties for leavers. Left 5 games in two weeks? 3 day ban. Simple as that. The child will learn, or his account will be suspended. It also leaves room for unexpected occurrences.

Edit: that said, I think people need to remember that even though it's just a game, you're screwing it up for 9 other people if you leave. Screaming "it's just a game" is a dumb thing to do in this scenario.

 

[manic_depressive13]

Both sides presented in the OP come across as sort of pathetic. Is it impossible to present an argument that doesn't reek of pissy entitlement?

On the one side, wah wah, people are leaving pub games, ruining my probably bad MMR and getting me upset. Please address the fact that I'm over invested in this game I'm not very good at by punishing your kids.

On the other side, wah wah, your parents fed and clothed you and listened to you cry. Apparently they didn't anticipate that they would have to do that when they went and had a fucking child. Be grateful they didn't subject you to abuse and deprivation.

 

[Fieldy409_v1legacy]

Why not just design Lol so replacements can drop in? Like most multiplayer games. Put up a 'join game in progress' button and let people take control of the abandoned avatar. It'd be a fun way to try characters you don't normally. Though it'd probably be bad for ranked.

 

[limmers]

I've always found it difficult to fathom how, during the development of LoL/DOTA, someone just didn't take a step back and think "Hmm, perhaps expecting ten people to commit to matches that regularly wind up somewhere north of 45 minutes is perhaps a little unrealistic". Especially when (at least in the case of DOTA - not played LoL) a couple of mistakes early doors can make it difficult, if not impossible to get a foothold back into the game. I know how precious some can be with their MOBA experience and have always seen matches through to the bitter end wherever possible, but holy hell, I've had games where idly pulling my own teeth with a pair of rusty pliers would have been the less painful option after the first ten minutes or so. It's utterly unworkable outside the realms of pro tournaments and the kind of high level play where enough time has been put into it where the chances of actually having any real-life friends to interrupt your gaming session becomes nil.

In these somewhat less than life-or-death situations, where you're not competing for six figure cash prizes or clan pride, are players really that opposed to dropping in a bot of similar level to the departed player, or can the game not dynamically rebalance itself to give the team with the player disadvantage slightly more offensive/defensive power? Seems like a bit of an oversight on the part of the creators to me.

Of course, I'm coming firmly down on the side of those arguing against the sentiment of this letter. If it's discipline and respect you want to instil in your kids, patting little Timmy on the head and telling him he can finish his game when there's real-world stuff to sort out isn't going to do it - in fact, the brat's probably going to turn out so entitled he's going to end up writing letters to people twice his age telling them how to raise their kids.

 

[FirstNameLastName]

Oh wow, I go to bed and this has become 4 pages of sarcastic replies.

 

[Scow2]

It doesn't matter if it's a game, if you wasted my time you wasted my time. If you wanna learn how to respect people you can't be caught up on degree like that.

If you're playing serious games with children (which in itself weird) then you're gambling on them not having a schedule to stick to. If someone plays a game and ignores an appointment that's their fault, not the person with whom they have an appointment. Telling people to let their kids play with you rather than eat dinner because this computer game is super important is fucking weak.

The parents also didn't waste your time, the kid did.

There's also an argument that if you take time to write an "open letter" (the most pussy-assed passive aggressive form of communication imaginable) to the parents of children that run home for dinner telling them that it's more important that their kids play games with you online then your time is almost by definition unwasteable.

It is the age of the internet, where everyone is anonymous except for what they decide to disclose, them being children is irrelevant to the vast majority of gaming interactions.Some things are flexible, some things are inflexible. Your dinner time is flexible, just microwave it for fucks sake.

This computer game is 5v5, 30 minutes long, so 4.5 hours of time not on your kid. I don't give a flying fuck how important you perceive the game to be, the fact of the matter is the other plays invested/are investing a lot of time in it and that's reason enough to let your kid finish and punish him later if he reasonably could have known that something was going to happen during the course of the game that he should be there for.

And what's this opposition to heating up dinner?

No, the parents definitely wasted my time, if you force someone to not honor a commitment they made to me that's on you. Doesn't mean that you even made the wrong call but it is on you.

No, dinner time is NOT flexible - at least not in any household worth a damn. Dinnertime is an important family social event (Again, in households worth a damn). And if you queue with randoms, expect random dropoffs.

 

[Sticky]

To the guy that wrote that letter:

If you want to guarantee a game experience going your way you messed up in the first place when you decided to play with other people.

Other people do not exist to fill slots in your dream team. Life is a thing that happens. Deal with it.

This

This is why I can't play League or even post-2008 DOTA. At some point, every player became a means to an end instead of another person on your team. Eventually everyone was like that to the point where the chat function was only used to call missing enemies and to shit-talk the other team.

I remember vividly having to listen to someone berate and chastise me in Warcraft 3 DOTA over Vent because I had the audacity to get up and use the bathroom in the middle of the match. When I asked what else I was supposed to do, he audibly shook a bottle. I could hear it was half full. That was the last time I played DOTA to memory.

 

[Risingblade]

Why not just design Lol so replacements can drop in? Like most multiplayer games. Put up a 'join game in progress' button and let people take control of the abandoned avatar. It'd be a fun way to try characters you don't normally. Though it'd probably be bad for ranked.

That would be beyond cruel

 

[Remus]

My response - It's your fault for playing a game with children, children who have things to do like homework, baseball/football/choir practice, oh and a basic need to eat and sleep in a timely manner. You may not think this is important, but their parents do. These are not your kids, so you don't get a say in how they are raised. That's the job of their parents. This is not South Korea. Reasonable, responsible people do not let basic needs slip simply because your game is stretched to 90 minutes rather than 45. Get over it. Or better yet, find another hobby where there is not a random chance of having to deal with other people's children. I hear there's a lot of great single-player games out there. Maybe try one of them, or better yet, go outside, get some sun. Sunlight can be just as necessary as the air we breathe, a fact many people often forget.