simple, he's getting 500 a month for school expenses, ie: books, classes and what nottheflyingpeanut said:
Paying parents rent.
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Not meant to be an attack on your parents mate but I was told by my parents "as long as you study and go to school, you can live in this house for free, as soon as you quit school you start to pay rent." My parents love me, again not an attack on yours mate, and they understand I don't HAVE money to pay rent and go to school. Yes I am going to a college and not highschool.
I'm doing that too. I pay £200 a month. The fact that you get double the normal amount in the first payment is to cover those expenses. I'm calling bullshit that £900 in the first month is not enough to cover the books he'll need and any expenses for classes.dystopiaINC said:
The way I see it is that she raised you and 9 other siblings for the past 18 years of your life.
Rent is the least you can do for her.
Rent is the least you can do for her.
Damn... I feel for you, man. And I can relate to your situation. Hope it works out.Robert Ewing said:
OP: I suggest you find another place to live. I live with my mom but she doesn't require rent or anything. We basically split costs and all is fair.
Wait is the $700 (I know it's pounds but I can't be bothered to switch keyboards) borrowed from money you earned or pocket money she gave you? If you earned it then I think that is a bit unreasonable id she makes a habit out of it but you also have to remember that your food and other wonderful stuff such as toilet paper, costs money. I think it is okay for her to charge rent but when you move out you might want to try to get her a job and don't let her get into a habit of getting money from you or your sisters. She can't live comfortably like that for ever.
I remember when I was about 12ish my dad started borrowing petty cash from me for little things, cash that originated from my pocket money (so technically it was his anyway). Anyways, I counted it up then one day asked for it back. He postponed so I issued an ultimatum which would lead to an "interest" increase. That past and my "interest" was inforced with another ultimatum. When I eventually got it back I managed to get near double what was lent in basically mafia style interest rates 
. Although come to think of it, I've probably lent as much, if not more back since then with a more mature sense of mind knowing that they gave it to me in the first place so it's technically theirs.
Side note, ~£23ish a week is fucking good rent. Stop complaining. Try living in London for uni when your parents live in a different country >.<
. Although come to think of it, I've probably lent as much, if not more back since then with a more mature sense of mind knowing that they gave it to me in the first place so it's technically theirs.Side note, ~£23ish a week is fucking good rent. Stop complaining. Try living in London for uni when your parents live in a different country >.<
My family is Tradition Chinese, the idea that any parent would charge their child to live there, especially before they've finished their education, is ludicrous. All my mother asked of me was that I went to school and get a degree. She never asked for money, and if asked, would get me whatever I want, which I never did.
She owes you money? Ok, why is she asking you for more?
She owes you money? Ok, why is she asking you for more?
I've yet to see a parent agree to paying back money they borrowed from their kids as children, speaking of which, how did you acquire the money in the first place? cuz if it was from an allowance or something you don't really have any ground to stand on. Also what was the money used for? If it was rent, food, something the family needed I wouldn't really say she owes you the money, but that's just me. Context is important here, people.
I don't know your mom but if I ever said something like that to mine she would fly into an unholy rage that could blot out the sun. And then she'd get mad.
Personally I don't think people should have to pay rent, regardless of their age, to their parents.
I don't know your mom but if I ever said something like that to mine she would fly into an unholy rage that could blot out the sun. And then she'd get mad.
Personally I don't think people should have to pay rent, regardless of their age, to their parents.
Yeah, this. If you live at home it does cost your mom something (unless you don't use any of her utilities or eat any of her food, which I find unlikely) and you also take up a room that she could theoretically rent out to someone for additional income. If part of that £500 is meant for rent expenses, and it sounds like it is, you might as well spend as little as possible and have that little go to your mom.Phisi said:
But definitely get a rental agreement drawn up and signed! And try to get all your room and board covered by that £100 rent; if I know college kids, you'll easily eat ~£100 worth of food a month anyways!
This is a lot like my mother.Waaghpowa said:
I mean, she does and has done a lot for me, more than the minimum people on the site here think parents should be bothered to do. The thing is though, she, my sister and I are family. We're going to be a part of each others' lives until we die. My sister and I are getting our education, and though our mother may feel a bit embarrassed by the backwards Western idea of how family works, we're going to make damn sure that she's loved and taken care of when she needs support.
If my mother asked for money from my loan, I would find a way to make it work, because I can trust her to not ask for things without a good reason.
The thing is, we don't really know the OP's situation, but for his personal view on the issue. I feel like I don't have a complete enough understanding of the situation to voice a proper opinion.
One thing I despise is inadvertently reassuring a selfish act when someone twists a story and posts it on the internet.
My family isn't traditional anything, but my parents feel essentially the same way. So long as I am a full-time student, my mom doesn't require that I contribute to the household, monetarily speaking. However, she is struggling financially (my bipolar dad's financial disasters from years ago are haunting us) and, ideally, I can find work at a supermarket at night or something (have classes during the day and maintain a 4.0 GPA) to help cover school and other expenses. In the mean time, I really need to learn how to drive (i.e. my mom needs to teach me when she has time, whenever that is).Waaghpowa said:
OT: The situation sounds pretty miserable. That being said, I'm not certain that you should necessarily move out. Do you help care for any of your younger siblings? Rather than paying rent, I might offer to cover their needs. At least you would be able to ensure that the money serves a respectable purpose. And this is assuming that the money is really necessary and that your parents are not just trying to leech off of you while you are investing in your future.
With respect to the argument that children "owe" their parents for the cost of their upbringing (which certainly is significant), I don't agree. Children don't choose to burden their parents. The cost of the first eighteen years is the cost of choosing to have a child.
It's not an unreasonable request, really.Davih said:
For starters, if you total up the support you've been provided over the years, can you really still say she "owes" you money? I mean, I know about the idea of paying your debts and all, but when you're 14 and you give your mom money, you're helping the household. It's not a loan.
And if you're still living at home, it's incurring expenses. Yet, as you've mentioned, she's not taking in the same amount of money now. She's having to meet the same expenses with less money.
Before you talk about how she's too lazy to get a job, also consider that you're accepting government money to go to school. You could be in a situation in which you have to work a full-time job to get through school and still have mountains of debt. Your mom may have her faults, but this particular request is not automatically unreasonable just because of her circumstances.
If you choose to live at home when you could be living on your own, anything less than real rent payments is a tremendous favor. You have an out, though. You can move out and try things on your own. But don't try to rationalize away the very reasonable claim that you contribute financially to the household in which you're living as an adult.
It's true, these people did raise you. Suck it up sunshine and pay your parents. 'OH BUT SHE OWES ME 700 DOLLARS!' If you were born and then your Mum and Dad didn't do anything to look after you, chances are you wouldn't have been alive to go to uni, let alone jump online and have a bit of a cry.
So suck it up while you live there, and pay your parents.
So suck it up while you live there, and pay your parents.
I work with a guy that's 22, and moved out. However his parents rented out his room (happened to be the basement has it's own bathroom and such, this is important) when he moved out. After a bunch of medical stuff like a heart attack, he figured it'd be financially sane to move back in with the parents. They decided okay, $500 a month for rent.
Nothing bad about that, actually cheaper than most rent around here.
But they have the audacity to try to tell him that he can no longer come and go as he pleases and regularly try to impose a curfew and a no-drinking rule upon him.
Nothing bad about that, actually cheaper than most rent around here.
But they have the audacity to try to tell him that he can no longer come and go as he pleases and regularly try to impose a curfew and a no-drinking rule upon him.
Koroviev said:
I feel like I should clarify a little more, not because I felt like you guys were calling me out on anything.Erana said:
I realize that it isn't exclusive to the Chinese culture, but it baffles me that North Americans believe that it's ok. In my culture, not supporting your kids is like abandoning your duty as a parent. Yeah, sure, you have to teach your kid to be self sufficient, but is forcing them to pay to live really going to do that? What if they get put into financial crisis? What if they're also the kind of parents that believe that the child should pay for their education? Sure, they're learning to be self sufficient, but that could back fire big time on them and the kind could end up homeless. I guess it depends on the parents, but it still bothers me and feels like you're trying to set them up for failure.
This kind of thing doesn't fly with me.ScreamingNinja said:
No-one asks to be born. No-one asks to be a financial burden on their parents. Adults know what they're getting into when they decide to have a child, and to say that a child owes them for all the money spent on them, which is the parents responsibility, is just stupid.
Your parents took care of you because it was their moral and legal responsibility to do so, not because you asked them to.