Pepsi Wants To Snackify Drinks and Drinkify Snacks

Kenjitsuka

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"Pepsi should use those exact words in its advertising campaign, because, boy, does that sound appealing."

Lol!
 

the protaginist

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Wait, so it's like mush basically. That sounds horrible. May have to get some strictly to see how horrible.
 

The Rogue Wolf

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I would like to smackify whoever came up with those stupid terms "drinkify" and "snackify". Also, the high-fructose-corn-syrup slurry they're likely to dump into those bottles will have as much relation to real fruit as fruit has relation to the surface of Venus.
 

Brian Hendershot

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Angus565 said:
Brian Hendershot said:
Finally! I no longer have to chew my food! Now I just need someone to poop for me and I'll be set for life!
Sir, I like the way you think!
Personally, I think the next step is to convert food to lasers...
Thanksgiving will be awesome!
Thanksgiving with Lasers would make that holiday ten times more awesome. Anything with lasers would be ten times more awesome actually.

Just think. If we got people to poop for us we could even solve the whole unemployment crisis! Everyone wins!
 

Ghengis John

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Elizabeth Grunewald said:
The Wall Street Journal quotes Nooyi as announcing, "We see the emerging opportunity to 'snackify' beverages and 'drinkify' snacks as the next frontier in food and beverage convenience."
Okay. So. Paste. Gotcha.

The first one sounds alright maybe. With their sugar and calorie count I've been looking at drinks as full blown snacks for a long time. But the second one. Brings to mind images of liquefied Doritos and peanut butter and jelly slurry.
 

rees263

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Jun 4, 2009
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Is it weird that the word "drinkify" repulses me but I don't really mind the word "snackify"? Hell if I had the time I'd try and snackify every food - what can I say I'm a snack person.
 

Shamanic Rhythm

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Dec 6, 2009
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I'm sorry Pepsi, but no. You're not allowed to coin neologisms until your depth of literary knowledge and contribution to culture is at LEAST on the same level as James Joyce, and if you think for one second that that dishwater you market as a beverage is as valuable an addition to human society as Ulysses, then think again. I don't think I need to remind people which one has a holiday in celebration of it...
 

ZephrC

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Mar 9, 2010
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Soooooo... they invented applesauce and made up stupid words to describe it? Good job Pepsi! That'll go over real well, I'm sure.
 

Jackpot

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Mar 21, 2008
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stealing articles from penny arcade is the forefront of modern internet journalism.

Godspeed!
 

Eclectic Dreck

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CaptainCrunch said:
They should spend their time on more profitable pursuits, like caffeinated bacon - or baconated grapefruit.
No kidding. Here I am drinking coffee with my bacon like some sort of savage. At a waffle house now less.
 

toastMonger

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Jun 16, 2010
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maswell said:
smoothie?
Yeah, looks like they "came up with" smoothies. Or possibly exceedingly thick smoothies with added preservatives. I'd put the Pepsi marketing department up there with car insurance marketing companies for groups I'd most like to see inexplicably swallowed by the earth, possibly having their office "quakeified" or "tornadonated".

Honestly if anyone has the money to buy this they should probably go get Bolthouse Farms smoothies (or make their own).
 

SimuLord

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Aug 20, 2008
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You know those articles that came out a couple of years ago about how American-based companies were hiring foreign CEOs because US business schools tended to turn out greedy idiots who would happily ruin a company rather than manage it intelligently because they're all about short term profit and stupid gimmicks?

Indra Nooyi is from India. We no longer have a monopoly on idiot CEOs.
 

SenseOfTumour

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Jul 11, 2008
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Mmm... Soylent green apple.

I picked up some 'Drench' spring water 'with blackcurrant and apple' - as it was stupidly cheap and I hadn't tried it. They go all out on how 'healthy' this stuff is, then I looked at the numbers.

Per 100ml-Drench fruit water | Pepsi
Sugar 9.2g | 11g
Calories 95 | 115

Hardly worth going 'healthy' is it?