Phrases That Make You "Cringe"

[NoOne852]

"I'm right, and you're wrong so shut up!"

That bugs the hell outta me.

 

[Hyperrhombus]

If it`s spoken phrases we`re talking about...

LOL *ugh* it`s a word for ONLINE USE ONLY. DONT USE IT IN A CONVERSATION >:C /rant

also OMG (why not just say oh my god??)

in fact, any abbreviations from the interwebs that are used in general conversation. Hate them like no other.

 

[Saltyk]

Wow. This thread is probably my most successful ever. I'm quite surprised.

Similar to yours, "I don't want an excuse" or things along that line (can't remember what the actual phrase is).

What if my parents just died? That'd be a good reason why I'm late, don't ya think?

To be fair, the reason I cringe at mine is because I adopted it from my mother. And she used it on me. Though, I don't even know when she started. It came out of nowhere one day. Then she used it a few more times. I think someone coached her!

Also, yeah, that's a valid excuse. My "that's an explanation not an excuse" is used more for when people do things that are wrong or stupid. Like when a killer tries to appeal to your sympathy because he had a rotten childhood. Yeah, that explains his actions, but it does not excuse them.

So, I think everyone has that one phrase or word that makes them cringe. So what is yours? And bonus points if you say it yourself making it even worse.

I'll start with two phrases.

"It was in the last place I looked."
Okay, so I know what people are trying to say when they use this phrase. They are trying to say that they've been looking for something for a while and were running out of ideas. But I know what they are literally saying and I always want to reply, "Why would you keep looking after you found it?" I mean do you think the TV remote you just found in the fridge is your remotes evil twin? Is there a possibility that it came from a parallel dimension? I know that sounds ridiculous, but seriously that phrase bugs me.

"That's an explanation, not an excuse."
Okay, so I say this one from time to time. Some of you may have seen me state this in a few threads here from time to time. It's a great phrase to use to counter crappy defenses against why someone did something stupid or wrong. "Being drunk simply explains your actions, it does not excuse them." So, why do I cringe every time I use it? I adopted this phrase from my mom. Some of you already know what that means. She used it against me a few times. And honestly, there was no counter argument to that. Granted she was right, but remembering how she used it on me every time I use it myself is kind of bitter sweet.

Okay, Escapists. What about you. Any phrases that make you cringe?

Didn't check if anyone beat me to this but: Lee Evans?

I'm pretty sure I heard Lee Evans do a piece on "It's always in the last place you look" which was along the same lines. I'd try and link you the youtube vid but I can't be bothered. It's from a fairly famous stand up gig (In the UK, anyway). I was a big fan of Lee while growing up, he's a good english comic.

I agree with most about the "I could care less" phrase....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=om7O0MFkmpw&ob=av3e - David Mitchell with his opinion on this.

Well, I didn't see anyone else mention that. I think you're the first. I think George Carlin even did a short joke about it, too. Might have been part of a larger routine and joke, though.

I'll have to look him up, too.

 

[IWCAS]

"I could care less"

It's couldn't you spastic!

That's exactly what I was going to put.

 

[dragcrew]

hm not so much a phrase but when people say pecific instead of Specific! OMG it grates on me! We used to have a modern studies teacher who would say it and I was a kid thinking "YOU ARE A TEACHER! How are you getting this wrong?!"

My Economics teacher always says expodential instead of exponential and that really, really gets on my nerves

 

[Monkeybald]

"for the lulz"

Saying that nullifies intended "lulz" for me.

 

[laststandman]

"Can I steal a (insert ANYTHING here) from you?"

NO! You can have/borrow something from me, but I am giving you permission therefore it is not stealing. So just ask to have/borrow it.

 

[Lunar Templar]

The esteemed Mr. Fry is only expressing his opinion. Incidentally I despise Wilde almost as much as I detest Restoration Comedy, but to address Fry's point:
I take no issue with inventions which enrich the language, but I most certainly challenge those which denude its potency. Language is the greatest invention of our species, & to strive for its inferiority is an absolute crime - an unbearable shame of such utter stupidity it genuinely saddens me.

2 things,
1) way to totally miss the point of the video.
and
2) congratulations, EVERYTHING you've posted on this thread has managed to get on my nerves to such a degree I can safely say this will likely be our only interaction, if only for my own sanity.

but since your so 'lingual superior', I'm inclined to ask, aside from the pre-stated 'Real life grammar checker' you like to do, what do you do with these skills? do you write, anything? you use it to present something to some one in a manner that might cause said person to want to expand their own lingual short comings?

and before you throw that back at me
yes, i write for my own amusement
no, my 'typing vocabulary' sucks, unfortunately

 

[thom_cat_]

Unneeded quotation marks.

 

[TacticalAssassin1]

This sentence makes me want to take something hard and introduce it to the speakers head.

Hooray for taking sentences out of context!

OT: When people just start insulting you instead of making proper arguments in a discussion.
It annoys me greatly.

 

[Laser Priest]

I hate when someone counters an argument with "That's just your opinion".

Well, of course it is; I fucking said it. Your argument is your opinion.

Neither is more valid than the other.

 

[Curlythelock]

"Same difference"

Drives me insane when people say it, what does it even mean?

 

[WolfThomas]

"I'm deceptively innocent, teehee. ".

I hate "deceptively" in general as it's really hard to work out what the person actually means at the time.

"The pool is deceptively shallow", so is it actually deep or shallow?

 

[New York Patrick]

You know what's awesome! When people quote Machiavelli wrong in my politics class, stating that he believed "that the ends justify the means..." to try and prove he was a dick... completely ignoring that his original statement was more along the lines of "if you do something, the ends MUST justify the means, blah blah etc."

You know what's even better! When the GORRAM curriculum does it!

Also, being both a big history and politics buff, having grown up in the US, and someone who is mildly completely obsessive compulsive in certain areas, it bugs the hell out of me when people make jokes associating the Republican Party with Slavery (I'm fucking looking at you, Jon Stewart...) And occasionally, when speaking to the less historically or politically informed, and especially living outside of the US, I have the displeasure of hearing more than jokes, but blatantly misinformed and insulting vocal slander.

This has nothing to do with my current political affiliations or pride...

It just annoys me because the modern U.S. Republican Party was STARTED BY FUCKING ABOLITIONISTS IN 1854... IN THE NORTH... AND THE FIRST REPUBLICAN PRESIDENT WAS LINCOLN!

I'm bringing all of this up because two days ago, someone managed to do BOTH within 15 minutes of class.

 

[itsausernamewhatofit]

"Could care less" and "For all intensive purposes" are maddening.
Couldn't care less and For all intents and purposes.

 

[OrokuSaki]

Oh the list of things I have (Which can generally be boiled down to ALL of ebonics.) But lately I've taken to getting more annoyed at how people's accents (My girlfriend's southern accent in particular) ruin words.

For instance: Window seal. ......it's a window "sill" seals do tricks for fish. Her Ant says she has to watch her cousin. Get a magnifying glass and burn her, that will shut her up.

But more than all of these, I hate being called "son" by every person mid-sentence. "Yo son I was walkin' down the street son and..." yeah, and no, it's not racist, white kids do it to, and I want them to die just as painfully.

 

[scorptatious]

When people use the term "lowest common denominator" to describe people who enjoy something they think is too mainstream or simple for them.

To me, this phrase comes off as incredibly pretentious and snobbish. Not to mention it's basically calling anyone who happens to enjoy something you don't stupid. It really gets under my skin for some reason.

 

[Ninjat_126]

Because I said so.
This takes the price. This sentence makes me want to take something hard and introduce it to the speakers head.

No, not because you said so. I require a reason for why you are saying what you are saying or wanting me to do something you want me to do.

This, as well as anything else logic-ignoring. "Because", "no u", "lalalalalalala", "shut up" and blatantly ignoring facts.

Although this is less "cringe" and more "attempt to avoid horribly killing the individual making these statements".