Poll: Am I to blame

[DocMcCray]

/snip

I know right, stupid whores going and getting themselves raped. Why can't they just not get raped?

They had the choice whether to stay until they could get a ride home or leave on their own. Despite the danger, despite pleas from the OP, they made the decision to leave on their own.

They were responsible for their own risk. The attack in and of itself was not their fault, but they made themselves targets when they didn't have to.

 

[major_chaos]

I pity you.

If you must "pity" me let it be about the time I got pined to a wall while some asshole went through my pockets, because I was stupid enough to make myself a target, not for my attempts to make sure it never happens again. I'm not recommending anything particularity absurd, just if you are gonna walk at night, do so in a group, preferably of three or more, and preferably with at least one sober person (partly just to keep you from doing anything stupid. I know someone who got the shit kick out of him because he was too drunk to remember that the only correct answer to "the fuck you looking at white boy?" is brisk walking pace.) and carry something for self defense (i.e pepper spray).

 

[Glongpre]

Did you contribute? Yes. Those girls were your responsibility.

Those women are not his responsibility. They are adults not kids.

His brother was an adult, not a kid, he's not OP's responsibility.

Indeed his brother is not his responsibility.

I don't understand why you quoted me.

 

[SaetonChapelle]

You are not to blame dear. You tried to help them, tried to encourage them to make the right decision. As adults, they should have known that two young girls walking out, intoxicated, can be easy targets. When partying late at night you should always be with others. Anything can happen. They should have been responsible enough to know this. I wouldn't stress too heavily. I feel bad for the two girls, but they knew the dangers.

Everyone always thinks "It won't be me". /face palm

And it finally happens to them then good for the sluts, maybe next time the fucking whores won't let themselves get raped.

I don't know if you're joking or not...

As far as from what he stated for one they weren't hurt (thankfully). Unfortunately though I can't make a good response because I don't know really what your response means. It's a shame these two girls were attacked, but it's not the fault of another who informed them of the dangers which they chose to ignore.

 

[MrMixelPixel]

Um yeah, the attacker is to blame. If no one attacked them, then everything would have been dandy.

 

[ThreeName]

Um yeah, the attacker is to blame. If no one attacked them, then everything would have been dandy.

But it wouldn't have, because he would still be blamed for "encouraging rape culture" for warning them in the first place.

OP, I know you're just out for reassurance, and I assume you're getting it. You're not to blame. There's nothing you can do to convince morons they're morons; just move on, don't speak to them anymore and let them have their little self-assured bullshit.

 

[NiPah]

It at this point that I get yelled at for victim blaming/shaming and that I'm degrading them,encouraging rape culture ect ect at this point some other people join in on the yelling at me so I give up and tell them to leave and they do while I go back to the toilet to check on my brother to see if he's better yet.

Well as it turns out they were attacked as I was to find out today luckily they were able to escape with some minor bruising and nothing else, but here's the catch-they blame me completely for what happened to them due to the fact that I let them leave alone and are now trying to turn my other friends against me.

Let a bit of time pass, while the two girls are acting illogically they were attacked on the street and nearly something much worse happened. I never get this "they are turning my friends against me" angle, if anyone heard the story then they would have the same reaction then most of us here, if they stop liking you because they were told to then they don't matter anyway. Tell others about what happened but don't come off as attacking the girls or saying how horrible they are for blaming you, just tell the exact truth on what happened and things should sort themselves out naturally.

You're pretty much getting into a pissing contest with two friends who were almost raped, in the end everything will get better but if you start a new war then everything will only get worse.

 

[MrMixelPixel]

Um yeah, the attacker is to blame. If no one attacked them, then everything would have been dandy.

But it wouldn't have, because he would still be blamed for "encouraging rape culture" for warning them in the first place.

OP, I know you're just out for reassurance, and I assume you're getting it. You're not to blame. There's nothing you can do to convince morons they're morons; just move on, don't speak to them anymore and let them have their little self-assured bullshit.

-shrug- All that blathering on about rape culture and such, is a minor annoyance at best. However, being attacked by a mystery assailant, that's a real problem. Everyone should be blaming said assailant, anything else is ridiculous.

 

[Wolf In A Bear Suit]

Obviously the attackers are scum yadda yadda, but the shear ignorance of those girls is astounding and to be honest, they asked for it by ignoring your advice. Can't say I feel sorry for people who try to blame the person who did their best to help them. It's not like you could pin them down and force them to go home with you is it?

Fuck yeah those whores were asking to be raped

My first reaction is to laugh. And then to be cold and think... "well, you warned them. I'd say they brought it on themselves."

I would have chosen option 5 but then I saw option 7 and I guess that's more fitting. Because yeah, the attacker is mostly responsible.

But seriously, if there was ever a reason for the words 'tempting fate,' that situation was it. They have no right to blame you. You tried to convince them not to do anything and they accused you of being a sexist or something. Now when it turns out your concerns have some merit, they wanna take it out on you.

Fuck them sideways. I'll say right now, they get no sympathy from me.

Yeah, fuck sluts who let themselves get raped by getting raped.

Yes I applaud rape, that's EXACTLY what I said. Don't twist words. What I said was that walking into a bad neighbourhood at night, when warned otherwise is the very definition of asking for trouble. For this reason, I really find it difficult to sympathize with them, especially given the fact that they accused the OP. This doesn't mean I find the attack (rape wasn't mentioned?) to be justified. The two people in question sound like utter tools who admittedly when drunk wandered off and had the nerve to verbally attack the OP? Just because they sound like arseholes doesn't mean I'm ok with them being attacked, because after all, they should not have been attacked. That act was naturally far scummier than wrongly accusing someone.

 

[somonels]

You could have left your brother behind, dropped them of and go back, maybe with some additional muscle. But no, if drunkards want to make bad decisions, let them. You had no obligation to favor any of them over others or serve them just because you would be the only one sane sober.

 

[N3squ1ck]

I voted "Nobody is to blame", because out of your group no one is. But I think it is obviously that the attacker is the guilty one here.

You did your deed by warning them about the bad people who might be around and offered them a ride home, they didn't want to listen, ridiculed you and went in the knowledge that bad people might be around (this is _not_ victim blaming, you pointed out that there are bad humans around and offered them help).
Now, for the incident, I don't think they are to blame at all, even though you warned them, since they were drunk, however that they now try to shift the blame entirely on you, that is just wrong and you should stop hanging around with those people. I know that is easier said than done, but seriously, do it. Don't go out with the group if you know they are around and if you happen to be somewhere where they are too, ignore them. If somebody asks tell them the story like you told it to us.

As multiple people pointed out already: This is not victim-blaming or slut shaming or any of those other things. I believe that everybody should be able to wear what they want, when they want, where they want. Also people should be allowed to do all those things intoxicated and not be in danger. But sadly there are dumb people out there, who will take any excuse to attack somebody ('she asked for it', yaddy yadda), but those people would attack anybody walking down that road (or park, or whatever), no matter what they were wearing or how drunk they were. Stupid people are stupid and when you know that dumb, agressive people are around and somebody offers help, it might be helpful to take that help. It is important though that we, as a society don't say that anybody would have asked for this (apart from the attacker obviously, who went to the toilet, when human decency was tought), and put the blame where it belongs: to the attacker and the attacker alone.

Again, nobody but the attacker is to blame here, and I hope they get cought and brought to justice and that the whole situation resolves itself easy for you, OP.

 

[Lionsfan]

Did you contribute? Yes. Those girls were your responsibility.

Those women are not his responsibility. They are adults not kids.

His brother was an adult, not a kid, he's not OP's responsibility.

Indeed his brother is not his responsibility.

I don't understand why you quoted me.

Because you responded to a poster calling out the OP for actions[footnote]Fake actions I mean, since we all know this a bullshit fake scenario[/footnote] and you were implying that the OP was in the clear because the girls were adults and not OP's responsibility

 

[Shadowstar38]

If anything, I blame the girls for not using common sense. People who actually victim blame suck. Don't get me wrong. But what I can and always will blame is people's own stupidity.

 

[manic_depressive13]

If you must "pity" me let it be about the time I got pined to a wall while some asshole went through my pockets, because I was stupid enough to make myself a target, not for my attempts to make sure it never happens again. I'm not recommending anything particularity absurd, just if you are gonna walk at night, do so in a group, preferably of three or more, and preferably with at least one sober person (partly just to keep you from doing anything stupid. I know someone who got the shit kick out of him because he was too drunk to remember that the only correct answer to "the fuck you looking at white boy?" is brisk walking pace.) and carry something for self defense (i.e pepper spray).

HAHA! You think asking everyone to travel around with an entourage isn't particularly absurd?

Pepper spray isn't even legal where I live. Anyway, if the only way to avoid being victimised is to live in perpetual fear of something statistically unlikely to happen, even in a high crime area, then frankly I'd rather take the risk. If you're letting paranoia dictate every action you make, to the point where you're too afraid to travel alone at night without making various impractical arrangements, you're already a victim.

 

[Glongpre]

Did you contribute? Yes. Those girls were your responsibility.

Those women are not his responsibility. They are adults not kids.

His brother was an adult, not a kid, he's not OP's responsibility.

Indeed his brother is not his responsibility.

I don't understand why you quoted me.

Because you responded to a poster calling out the OP for actions[footnote]Fake actions I mean, since we all know this a bullshit fake scenario[/footnote] and you were implying that the OP was in the clear because the girls were adults and not OP's responsibility

So you are saying that the women are his responsibility and thus he should be blamed?

 

[DANEgerous]

You to blame? Not even in the slightest, the attacker is to blame but if I had to be overly cynical (AND I DO!)they are to blame for their situation they did not put them selves up for attack but they absolutely put them selves in a state of vulnerability where in no matter how much they had to drink had been warned.

They can not blame you for keeping them from leaving and blame you for them leaving, that is just absurd. It is like flipping a coin and saying heads I win tails you lose. If it is head I win thus you are the loser and if it is tails you lose thus you are the loser. By no stretch of logic or reason is this not a straight up con.