On a really messed up, but slightly positive note, we're all going to die anyways whether we're looking forward to it or not. So unlike all the "happy" people on this thread, we're eventually going to get what we want. Actually puts a figurative spring in my step.Tenno said:i know that feel OP, I am in the same boat, got a pretty good life by any standard, but i just don't want to be here, its not about the quality of life or anything like that, you just don't want to exist, its hard for other people to understand these feelings OP, all i am doing is going through the motions waiting for the day i finally die.
I actually have looked into this before. The problem is that I have very limited health insurance, so I'd pretty much have to pay for any "help" out of pocket. In my conversations with the friendly people on the suicide hotline chat thing online, I've gotten a few numbers to call, but it just seems impossible. When I'm feeling good, I don't feel like I'd ever have to call and when I'm feeling bad, I don't want to do anything at all. I didn't really intend this as a depression thread, but considering I spent the first hour of work crying behind some boxes, there may be something to it. I'm fine now and I don't feel like I want to die because I "feel bad." I want to die because I don't like myself, the life I'm living, nor would I want to live anyone else's life. I'm just sick of it.Eamar said:The thing to know is that you absolutely must DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. Wallowing in self-pity doesn't solve anything. Not trying to be harsh (well, maybe a little, but not in a mean way), but this shit doesn't go away on its own, at least not for very long. See a doctor, get counselling, try as many of the huge number of medically-approved therapies out there as you can, consider medication if you and your doctor both think that would help. And force yourself to live your life. Talk to your friends, your family, your neighbours. Pursue hobbies, keep up the exercise, look after yourself, do as much work as you can, even if it's only a tiny bit. I know these things can all seem impossible to someone who's depressed, I really do, but you have to keep trying.
Either way, you may not want to hear it (I know I didn't) but it's down to you and you alone to change yourself. Doing nothing is not an option.