Glass Joe the Champ said:
Okay, so I was at marching band this morning and this flute player started blowing up at the guy next to her because apparently, he was staring at her a bit too much. The thing was, though, that while everyone else followed dress code and wore a t-shirt and shorts, she decided to wear a side-less shirt and bra underneath with ridiculously short cut-offs.
Obviously, oggling at someone else extensively is disrespectful to them, but when you choose to wear revealing clothing, what exactly do you expect from people? I mean, if a guy walked around with his shirt off all day, it'd be because he wants women (and not just women he specifically likes) to notice his body; why is the opposite true for so many women?
To be fair, the staring guy has a reputation for being a huge creep, but if he'd been a regular stranger who was discrete about it and it's clear the girl is trying to show off as much skin as possible, is he allowed to oggle or no? Why or why not?
Oh, and yay for politically incorrect gender stereotyping!
I wanted to reply to all the wonderful points you made!
I personally love discussing gender so thank you for the opportunity! *ahem*
My first question is, was it hot that day? Cause if it was hot I think she was perfectly justified in wearing what she wore. (Although I suppose it is bad in breaking uniform)
Did you ever consider the idea that a woman might not wear 'revealing' clothing cause they want to be stared at, but simply cause it was hot and it's comfortable to wear loose clothing like that.
Unfortunately it's a really depressing and sad reality women live in where no matter what they wear they pretty much expect to be ogled by men everywhere. I know this because I've had this discussion with women. The majority that I talked to agree that they've literally worn sweaters and pants on hot summer days because they didn't want to risk being ogled, but were ogled anyway. It would be nice if we lived in a world where women weren't constantly objectified each and every day.
Now this is interesting. The point you make about a guy walking around with his shirt off all day. You have to understand the differences here. You make the assumption that the man takes off his shirt wanting everyone to see his body. There just isn't a stigma about the exposure of the male body. The way a male feels about his body and the way a woman feels about her body are two drastically different things. Men live in a society where they aren't raised to particularly care about what they look like, aside from wearing presentable in appropriate situations. (such as a business meeting or a formal party etc.) Women are raised with a magnifying glass constantly against their body. Men judge them, other women judge them, and even their family judges them. There is a constant of debate on what is okay and what isn't okay in terms of their physical appearance. A man can go to the beach, take his shirt off and feel nothing. A woman can go to the beach, wear a bikini and feel the stare of a thousand eyes. It isn't exactly always comfortable for a woman to be looked at by everyone, while a man will normally feel nothing.
Have you ever taken off your shirt and walked around in public expecting the stares of others? I can't help but feel when you imagine this scenario the man will simply be getting nice looks with an occasional compliment from women, and it'll feel great. This is far from the truth, if women were to behave as men. We did an experiment at school to let males experience the feeling of having all the different kinds looks and ...words said to him that a girl receives whenever she steps outside. It isn't fun. I hope to never, ever, ever experience this again. Ever. I felt like a piece of meat. If you are curious I can describe in more detail. Both how I felt and how the experiment worked, but I don't think it's really necessary as of right now.^^ Trust me on this one.
So in short, yes the guy was in the wrong. It doesn't matter what the girl was wearing because this sort of "blame the victim" mentality is what leads to reasoning is just as illogical as a criminal saying "Well it's not my fault I killed him, he should have been able to stop me." If she responded by saying "Don't look at me." she felt uncomfortable and is justified in having that feeling and asking the guy to stop.
Just because something is unfortunately accepted as a social norm doesn't mean it's okay, nor does it mean that it's the right thing to do.
P.S Glass Joe the Champ, if you'd like to have an even further in depth discussion about gender please, feel free to PM me or respond here with any questions/counterarguments you would like to bring up!