Poll: Ever been in Love?

[high_castle]

No, and I'm not entirely sure it exists beyond a surge of chemicals in the brain that eventually fades over time. It's better to date people whose interests you share and with whom you feel comfortable and can be yourself. Those, in my experience, are the relationships that last. But I'm also a cynic with daddy issues according to the psychologist I used to date, so maybe I'm not the best authority on this.

 

[Smooth Operator]

No, and I'm not entirely sure it exists beyond a surge of chemicals in the brain that eventually fades over time. It's better to date people whose interests you share and with whom you feel comfortable and can be yourself. Those, in my experience, are the relationships that last. But I'm also a cynic with daddy issues according to the psychologist I used to date, so maybe I'm not the best authority on this.

Surge of chemicals triggered by a thought of your partner is just what love is, the trick is to keep things fresh enough that it never completely goes away, love isn't just always there it actually takes alot of work.
People who share your interest will annoy you less so you wont need as much dopamine to tolerate them, but then again things might get stale alot faster and they become meaningless.

In the end it's all a crap-shoot, you find someone exciting and try to make it work, if it doesn't you move on.

 

[katsumoto03]

No. I have never been in love and never will be. If you have to depend on another person because 'You love them deeply and trust them fully' or 'your life is incomplete without them' then why should you be there? You shouldn't have to depend on anyone but yourself, because if you have to depend on someone else and they screw up, it's easier to be pissed at them if you don't have a fond spot for them.

So no. Never have been. Never will be.

I'm sorry, but I just laughed when I read this and the others like it.

I think some people's cynicism has gone a full 180 and turned into naiveté.

OT: Yes, I am in love and no it won't work out. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuun.

 

[fingerbang143]

I haz girlfwend i haz wuv

 

[Hiikuro]

Never. To the extreme that I don't feel "love" or affection towards even my family or friends.

I've had many crushes (the first at the age of 5), and I've felt traces of the feeling of love before, but it fades extremely quickly (in a matter of seconds). Though I've never met someone that I feel could be my companion, ally, and lover. The distance is always too great, even though I spend all of my social time in circles where I should feel the most at home.

I know something is wrong, but I don't know what. Whenever I try to think about it, I go around in circles or fall into a cruel depression. Meanwhile I grow more distant every day.

But I haven't given up hope. For hope is the feeling that drives me forward. Hope that, despite the absolutely ridiculous odds, I will meet someone to connect with for a lifetime.

 

[Maxtro]

Nope. I've been infatuated with many girls, but never in love.

Once somebody likes me as much as like her, love may start to develop.

 

[Carbonyl]

I've been in love with the same man for four years now. He knows what I need, and he listens when I say things. He doesn't understand me perfectly, but no one really does. He has habits I don't like and views I don't agree with, but with every fiber of my being I love him. The sight of his smile and the color of his eyes are like warm breezes in June. The thought of him brings butterflies like stars swooping through my heart. And even though he is far away most of the time, I speak with him every day, and the sound of his voice has me glowing like the sun. He loves me. Love is beautiful and complicated, but is simply surmised in that you make each other happy and keep each other warm.

I know it sounds emotional and ridiculous and fuzzy-wuzzy, but it' true. There is no perfection in love, love is not a completion of the self, love is not a loss of the self. Love is deep and strengthening and good and warm. It is not the very essence of perfection distilled from on high. It's human and visceral and it keeps you. It is a candle that lights darkness, even when you aren't afraid of the dark.

 

[El Ponto]

Love? What's that? Maybe I am, maybe not, I don't know what it's like.

Maybe you can tell me, hmm?

Once upon a time I was in elementary school (grades 1 - 6), we had a kinda special group. Normally they break up the class into several different schools after sixth grade, but they kept us together all the way through secondary school (grades 7 - 9) as well. So we had a little more "cohesion" than normal groups. So there was a girl, from 5th grade onwards I felt I kinda liked her, never said anything of COURSE. When we left ninth grade I KNEW I liked her, but I didn't think I was good enough to say anything. She wasn't posh or anything, but I was a little bit of a ragdoll. SO: we lived in the same neighborhood(ish), sometimes on our way to (or from) our respective schools we would pass each other by, and whenever we did she would always smile and wave, and I had to laugh. Seeing her kinda made my day, very rarely would anyone wave enthusiasctically (or at least it seemed like she did) when I saw them, and so on.
But then we moved "conveniently" out of the way so I really never saw her again.
BUT: over the next 8 years I would occasionally run in to her unexpectedly. Very rarely though, sometimes a couple years would go by. But every time it happened we would talk, and then she would disappear again and I would always wonder if I ever saw her again. Because she never left my mind, for 8 years people kinda came and went but SHE always stuck, in my mind that is. Get this: one day I get a letter from one of the girls, they are gonna have a class reunion. I never thought they would actually arrange it but there it was. I didn't want to be THE example of a failure that they perhaps expected, so I didn't go. But I knew she was gonna be there and now I'm wondering if I made a mistake! So then I run into her in the library and ONCE AGAIN we talk, she disappears.....shit. I panic for a week, but then I get an idea: facebook to the rescue and I guess she's the only reason I'm on facebook. A few messages back and forth but DAMN is she a lazy facebook user! Ok, so it's do or die time, she can't escape from me this time, but after eight years....what's it worth? To her?

So there's my dilemma. Come on people I went through the trouble of writing this, I deserve something in return!!

Everything above is true and I am serious.

 

[DirgeNovak]

Yes, but she already had a boyfriend. Some time after she had broke up with him, I invited her to my place for a movie night, hoping to turn it into a date.



She came with her new boyfriend.

 

[high_castle]

No, and I'm not entirely sure it exists beyond a surge of chemicals in the brain that eventually fades over time. It's better to date people whose interests you share and with whom you feel comfortable and can be yourself. Those, in my experience, are the relationships that last. But I'm also a cynic with daddy issues according to the psychologist I used to date, so maybe I'm not the best authority on this.

Surge of chemicals triggered by a thought of your partner is just what love is, the trick is to keep things fresh enough that it never completely goes away, love isn't just always there it actually takes alot of work.
People who share your interest will annoy you less so you wont need as much dopamine to tolerate them, but then again things might get stale alot faster and they become meaningless.

In the end it's all a crap-shoot, you find someone exciting and try to make it work, if it doesn't you move on.

True, true. But I also believe there has to be some sort of willingness and trust on both parties' part to "fall in love" so to speak. I don't believe in love-at-first-sight or fairytales, which is what I was trying (and likely failing) to convey in my post.

 

[Zyntoxic]

I answered yes, because I do believe I am in love but on a general note I just want to state that I believe there is a difference between feeling in love and being in love, there might be som hair splitting here but still.

I have been in this relationship for 5 years and I am in love, I love my fiancé very much and would never part with him even for a second if it was up to me, but feeling in love is a feeling that only comes in waves, during brief moments caused by actions or situations, that feeling you have in abundance in the beginning anw.
actually, I'm glad that the "new love" phase went away, try spending five years with someone that makes you so excited you become nauseas, but the rarity of that excitement makes it precious instead.

being in love is a comfortable state, more like that "similar people getting along" option but with a shared intimacy and understanding of each other few others in the world could have.
while feeling in love is the pink, fluffy thing you both float and suffer upon in the beginning.

anw I've been/felt in love since I was 14 (that is 6 years back from now)

 

[GiglameshSoulEater]

No, and the complete lack of 'love' I have felt has lead me to conclude that it is more an ideal than an actuality.

 

[Fbuh]

I am currently engaged to the love of my life. Everyone says that it never works out with your first love, but we've been together a year and a half and it already feels like we've always been together (in a good way).

 

[GiglameshSoulEater]

Yes, it had bad results for all involved.
Now while I hate the cliche, it had a very Shakespearean ending, not words of mine, but of my friends.

People died in a twist of dramatic irony and betrayal?

Damn, son, thats a bad way to end a relationship.

 

[Sleekgiant]

Nope, doubt I ever will be seeing as to how most people just like to use me for money.

So in short forever alone.

 

[Canadamus Prime]

Fuse the first 2 poll options into 1 and you'd have a rough idea of my situation.

 

[BlazeCruzer]

Still am in love, she was my best friend for 7 years. I couldn't take the sexual tension anymore so I just outright confessed to her last night. She wants to stay friends in the relationship so that flame never goes out.

 

[JoJo]

While I have yet to undertake a romantic relationship, I know for sure that love exists and the reason I know that is my younger sister. To keep this short, she is the most precious thing to me in the entire world and I'd do anything to protect her. A different sort of love from that of two romantic partners to be sure, but this sort of love is true and real, so I have good reason to believe that romantic love must also exist.

 

[Smooth Operator]

True, true. But I also believe there has to be some sort of willingness and trust on both parties' part to "fall in love" so to speak. I don't believe in love-at-first-sight or fairytales, which is what I was trying (and likely failing) to convey in my post.

So many definitions so little time...

Well love-at-first-sight isn't really a problem if someone is easy to impress (or someone is good at impressing), and we don't really need to know the person to fall in love, we just create our image of the person and hang a dopamine drip on it (our mind is funny that way).

Ofcourse it takes getting to know the object of our affection for that bond to last, that is where the willingness and trust comes in usually also where it all falls apart because that perfect image we have doesn't match the actual person.