Poll: girl problems

[Pyrokinesis]

*snipped*

Its hard but you have to come to terms with the fact she is young, she is most likely naive and still "exploring" as alot of women do, with lots of other men. If your a respectable lad then youd let her go and bounce of every wall she can and find yourself one who is:

A: More reliable and loyal, one who obviously wants you not just any old boy

B: Is done bouncing around boy town and actually wants a relationship

C: You feel more than comfortable around, one who starts out as a good friend is usually the best. If you can spill your feelings in a normal conversation and not even notice the fact you did then thats perfect.

D: Obviously one that you are happy with, dont be afraid to make female friends not every girl has to be mate material.



well good luck

 

[Mr Wednesday]

My friend, at 21, you are far too old to be asking this on the escapist.

 

[Realitycrash]

up

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.

.

taking the people who have responded with "talk", where and how would you do it? pub or park? try to kiss her at some point or just talk? etc..

Don't try to kiss her. Talk with her. Speak with her if/when you meet her IRL somewhere. Read her bodylanguage. If it seems that she isn't in to you, move along. If she does, confront her.

 

[mikespoff]

from what you've written here, she's not into you.

She may be interested in having you as a drinking buddy or someone to call when she needs a lift and is fighting with her boyfriend.

Sorry if that sounds harsh, but that's honestly what I see in the situation that you've described. If you were my friend, this is what I'd tell you to help you avoid a lot of pain and wasted time.

 

[pearcinator]

'Friend-Zoned'

Happens to me all the time...dreaded friend-zone!

Cut your losses and give up is what I voted.

 

[HotFezz8]

If you've got girl problems I feel bad for you, son.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WwoM5fLITfk

OT: But yeah you should probably tell her how you feel. I have personally learned the long and pointless way that not telling someone how you feel never really leads to anything. Just go for broke.

That was literally the 1st thing I thought when seeing this thread. NOW I CAN'T STOP. yeaaaaaay....

this made my entire day :-D i got 99 problems but a ***** ain't one :-D

 

[Murais]

Get her off the pedestal and just ask. Your chance of failure varies if you ask, whereas if you don't, your chance is always 100% failure.

Man up, strap your balls on, and ask her out with some modicum of confidence. The friend zone doesn't mean no, it just means that you're going to need to be tenacious.

 

[tmillerofde]

I feel for ya guy, having feelings for a girl who acts like she barely knows you exist. But the fact is she's only 18 and she likely isn't even sure what she wants herself. She's going to go through a small army of guys until she does find one she wants to be with. If you want to be one of the bodies on the pile then hey more power to ya. My advice is just go back to school and devote your time to your studies so you can get a good job and get some confidence in yourself and then maybe you'll attract a more mature girl who deserves you as much as you deserve her.

My 2 cents...

 

[HotFezz8]

My friend, at 21, you are far too old to be asking this on the escapist.

SLAP - your never too old to ask for help or a extra opinion.

'Friend-Zoned'.

yeah fucking looks like it.

If you like her ACT like you like her and DO something about it. Why haven't you asked her on a date? Why haven't you kissed her? Why haven't you told her you liked her?

I'm guessing this is the first girl you like? After she made the first move, why would you also expect her to make the 2nd move? You are the older male, act like it!

painful (very painful) but true. and no, but my last (and first) gf was long term and she came onto me. so whilst i was good at the relationshipy parts, and i was comfortable moving on her knowing the chances of failiure (and therefore rejection) were zero, this whole phase is new to me.

ill follow the mixed advice ive got, meet her after work, walk her to a pub or something, chat, tell her i like her, gauge her response, and if its either mixed or positive fuck it ill go for it. i don't hold much hope.

 

[pearcinator]

If you are motivated towards making her like you I say back off a bit for a while...let the friendship fall a bit and then jump on her like a horny dog!

Although it doesnt work for me lol

 

[Venereus]

Been there. I'm pretty sure she knows how you feel, so she's just being an indecisive *****.

Kill it with FIRE!

 

[quantumsoul]

Forget her. She probably reconnected with her ex. Girls do this a lot. I know you like her but there's plenty of other girls for you to really like. I think you also took to long to move forward with her. Don't waste some much time texting. You want to date girls not chit chat in text. Other guys will move in if you're slow.

I wish luck with the next girl.

 

[mechanixis]

Tell her, and ride the momentum of the subsequent rejection firmly into moving-on territory.

It's loose ends that make it difficult - do your best to tie them up in one decisive move.

 

[ComicsAreWeird]

Nothing to lose. Just tell hr how you feel. If she´s not into you, you can always get another girl.

 

[matt87_50]

sounds like a job for Scott Pilgrim...

 

[Hashime]

Give up. Date a university girl, preferably one at yours. That way it is possible to have some sort of physical relationship.

 

[JonnoStrife]

Bail.

 

[Mitchell Smith]

Talk to her in person...

But you'll most likely find that she considers you a friend and not a potential boyfriend, which is abit shitty at first but also means you can go for her friends.

 

[ApeShapeDeity]

So, as an older gent, (I'm 34 and divorced) I can tell you plain... At 18 you're essentially still a kid. It doesn't feel like it at the time of course, but life has funny ways about it. Also, 21? Ever heard the old track mannish boy? Well... moving on...

Basically, I'll tell you this much, in spite of everything you feel and percieve that she does or should, at your age it's by and large VERY temporary. I don't say this to be a prick, but that's the truth of it.

If she's changed her feelings toward you without telling you... well, get used to it. It's going to happen again my friend. Different woman, different time, but it'll happen. Trust me on this.

My advice is this... If she's not going to treat you the way you want to be treated, move on. Now. There are are a lot of wonderful experiences to be had at your age, many of them under the covers, but don't get yourself hung up on a girl who is too flippant to love you for what you are right now... ok?

 

[Stasisesque]

You're not actually committed to her, so she's done nothing wrong. As adults, men and women generally see dating as more of a "keeping your options open and getting to know many different people" thing than a teenage "you asked me out so you're my boyfriend/girlfriend now". Even her saying she'd like to get to know you better shows no commitment, so first of all - calm down. She's a free agent and can do whatever she likes. There's no mind games going on here.

If you haven't openly expressed interest in her (by this I mean asked her on a date, explained (with words) you want to be "exclusive") then don't expect her to guess your intentions and stay away from every other person she may find attractive.

If you have, and she hasn't given you a straight answer - then yes I'd move on, because it sounds like she's not as interested as she first appeared.

The third option is, she got to know you better and did not see you as a potential partner so did not pursue it and didn't think it worth mentioning as you never made a move.

If you're looking for true love, I believe you are being incredibly naive. Treat this as a casual thing if you really want to go for it, but nothing more.