And this. Seriously, chances are, if you don't screw around while you can, you'll end up screwing around when it'll end up destroying a family. A ring and a vow is not gonna beat human nature.Jandau said:However, romantic relationships do tend to buckle if started in high school. It can get killed off by a number of things: Being "curious" about other people, wanting to try new things, unforseen circumstances such as having to move away to college, etc.
I met my wife when we were 17 (not going to the same high school though). Nine years later (one week ago) we got marriedTheMatt said:HS is wayyyyy too early to have a serious relationship. I'd say anywhere before 25 years old is too early.
Stuff waiting until 25. Why wait that long? I know plenty who are already married with more than one child.TheMatt said:HS is wayyyyy too early to have a serious relationship. I'd say anywhere before 25 years old is too early.
All of this gave me the impression that you assume all serious relationships are marriages, and if that is your opinion, than the only ones here who wouldn't think it's too early are 13-17 year olds who currently have someone in mind.Martymer said:I'll put it like this... 50% of all marriages end in divorce. There are several reasons, but the most important one is painfully obvious: They tied the knot before they knew whether or not they were right for each other. There's no way to know something like that in high school, because people continue to develop mentally long after they stop developing physically. So I'd advice you to not screw up the relationship you currently have. I know that's not the advice I would have wanted when I was in your position, but fortunately for me, that relationship never really got anywhere. I hated myself for the mistakes I made back then, but as I've gotten older, I've realized that I would have been much worse off if things had gone any other way. What I was hoping for at age 14-15 just wasn't realistic. People change. You too. Until you have a chance to know who you'll change into -- and no, no matter how convinced you are, you don't know shit yet (sorry, but that's the cold, hard truth) -- you shouldn't committ yourself. Especially not to someone you'll have to be around if (or rather, when) it goes down the crapper. And definitely not to someone you'd still like to be friends with!
I think it sounds like you're nitpicking a bit there, but maybe I didn't make myself clear enough. If 50% of all marriages end in divorce, and an important reason for this is people getting married too quickly, then what do you think the success rate for less serious committments are? And if even married people screw around, don't you think the same applies to people in less serious relationships as well? The point I wanted to make was, get involved in a serious relationship too soon, and it WILL end. That will hurt, and it will ruin any other relationship you have with that person as well. For that reason, I do not recommend it at that age, especially not with someone you're currently friends with. I hope that makes my point more clear.mike1921 said:All of this gave me the impression that you assume all serious relationships are marriages, and if that is your opinion, than the only ones here who wouldn't think it's too early are 13-17 year olds who currently have someone in mind.Martymer said:I'll put it like this... 50% of all marriages end in divorce. There are several reasons, but the most important one is painfully obvious: They tied the knot before they knew whether or not they were right for each other. There's no way to know something like that in high school, because people continue to develop mentally long after they stop developing physically. So I'd advice you to not screw up the relationship you currently have. I know that's not the advice I would have wanted when I was in your position, but fortunately for me, that relationship never really got anywhere. I hated myself for the mistakes I made back then, but as I've gotten older, I've realized that I would have been much worse off if things had gone any other way. What I was hoping for at age 14-15 just wasn't realistic. People change. You too. Until you have a chance to know who you'll change into -- and no, no matter how convinced you are, you don't know shit yet (sorry, but that's the cold, hard truth) -- you shouldn't committ yourself. Especially not to someone you'll have to be around if (or rather, when) it goes down the crapper. And definitely not to someone you'd still like to be friends with!
It's not nitpicking, the way I saw it your post was totally irrelevant to the actual question the thread gave us.Martymer said:I think it sounds like you're nitpicking a bit there, but maybe I didn't make myself clear enough. If 50% of all marriages end in divorce, and an important reason for this is people getting married too quickly, then what do you think the success rate for less serious committments are? And if even married people screw around, don't you think the same applies to people in less serious relationships as well? The point I wanted to make was, get involved in a serious relationship too soon, and it WILL end. That will hurt, and it will ruin any other relationship you have with that person as well. For that reason, I do not recommend it at that age, especially not with someone you're currently friends with. I hope that makes my point more clear.