Poll: How Happy Are You Being Single?

[ReservoirAngel]

Blah. Get out there. If I, a fat-ass, socially inept dingus with eccentric hobbies and a penchant for finding companionship in internal combustion engines, can find someone, so can you.

Sorry but with this and your avatar I'm forced to ask... are you actually Jeremy Clarkson? Because if not the comparison is uncanny.

OT: I was happy being single for a while. Because, you know, one-night stands are fun for a while and I didn't really have to answer to anyone. But eventually it just got dull and shallow. Luckily I convinced some poor bastard to date me and it seems to be going well for all concerned.

 

[Cowabungaa]

Eh, not really. I long for that special kind of companionship you get, that warmth and comfort that I think you get in a good relationship.

Thing is, I don't really know how that feels. I just know that there's a place in my heart that goes unfilled, that there are feelings I want to express and share that I can't right now. And that's not a very comfortable feeling.

 

[TheRightToArmBears]

I am not single. I was single for about four months at the end of last year, and it wasn't too bad. I can't say I was happy or sad, because in the first month I was arguing, in the second month I was busy working and in the third and fourth month I started talking to who is now my girlfriend (and my ex-girlfriend's sister. I promise, it's not how it sounds). I haven't really experienced being 'properly' single in a long time.

 

[MasochisticAvenger]

Anyone who claims to be happy that they are single is lying, both to themselves and others.

"Of course I am happy to be alone! Who wants companionship! This vague sense of unease and loneliness is awesome! I love waking up alone! Sex is boring!"

While I agree with you a lot of people are probably just claiming it as a coping mechanizim rather than an actual belief ("Oh it's cool I don't have a partner, because I don't really want one"), there are actually some people who are legitimately happier not being in a relationship. You can't really say that everyone in the world wants to be in one, because even one person legitimately not wanting to be in one disproves that.

As for me personally, I am fine being single. While I wouldn't object to a relationship, I'm not really fussed about going out and seeking one out. Since I have never been in a relationship, I cannot say whether having a girlfriend would make my life better or worse. Right now though, there is a lot of shit I need to get together before even attempting to add a girlfriend to the mix.

One thing I'm curious about though: I hear some guys say they love the chase (I personally do not). Has any guy ever been asked out by a girl, started dating her, and actually thought "I really love , but god I hate the fact she made it so easy to date her".

 

[Zantos]

Unhappy, but not so much because I'm single. I'm not going to hunt down any relationship just to not be single. No, because I managed to get myself in one of those "It's complicated" type situations. I remember once upon a time when this sort of stuff was easy, I miss you teenage years.

 

[mellemhund]

So I've been single for a long time and up until recently, I was content to be so. I won't say happy, but content.

Why didn't you put content in the options then?

If by single you mean forever alone, then no I wouldn't be happy with that. If by single you mean sleeping around and having casual relationships, then I'm perfectly happy with that. Steady relationships mean doing a lot of stuff you don't like to do, just to please the other person. The best GF's I've had was we we're an item, but still couldn't take each other's prescence for granted.

Off topic: What's up with the Hebraic in the captcha?

 

[Vanitas likes Bubbles]

Im not like some people I know who cant go five seconds without human interaction. I like being by myself, in fact I prefer it and besides when my friends are in their cute little relationships (makes me want to puke) I cant help but laugh at when they allegedly "break" their hearts, this infact happened a few days ago and friend called me a heartless bastard and said it was because I cant get any to which i replied "This is coming from the person thats crying like a little *****" (I know im cold, deal with it).

OT yes I am incredibly happy being single (less of a burden on my wallet and what little emotions I have)

 

[Brown Cap]

Nope. Not One Bit. I try so hard to be myself, or to impress people, or to be sensitive, or to be insensitive, but girls always seem to care for the hot/buff guys. They only seem to be attracted by sensitive guys that are ALSO manly-men or people who can sing (for example, Juanes or Enrique Iglesias)
I write poetry, I play guitar, I'm a black belt, and I've got straight A's. But nope, nobody could give a shit about me. I feel pretty friggin unappreciated actually.
I try pretty hard to get people to like me. I'm great a making friends, but not relationships. I don't get it. I hate being single.

 

[Eisenfaust]

before my current relationship, a product more of the avoidance of imposition more than anything, i was quite happy being single... and now... bah!

 

[TheMyffic]

I'm srsly HOT STUFF! But keeping it all to myself.

Muwhahahahahahahaha!


Bye Bye Ladies

 

[TheAmokz]

Happy would be understatement.

 

[JemothSkarii]

I'm stuck between a rock and a big stick with 'Fuck You' carved in it. Still soul despairingly missing my ex after a few months; found out about a week ago my 'best friend' (who believed he was gay) has been going out with her shortly after we broke up, and even then I believe they had feelings for each other while I was with her. Meanwhile, I'm falling for another friend's sister who doesn't trust guys or wants a boyfriend, and effectively sees me as a brother. but gives off mixed signals...Whenever I start getting better something new about the ex pops up and knocks me down again.

So am I happy with being single? Not really...but I kinda just wanna be Forever Alone right now....now to end this sad post with a sad quote...

"Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses. You build up a whole armor, for years, so nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life... You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' or 'how very perceptive' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a body-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. Nothing should be able to do that. Especially not love. I hate love." - Neil Gaiman

I love Neil Gaiman.

Oh, and it gets better. Eventually you just become numb to your ex's. My ex fiance is with my ex girlfriend. Yes, you read that right.

Time doesn't heal all wounds. But it makes them much easier to ignore, it helps you work out what the painful triggers are and avoid them forever more. Like I try and avoid talking to lesbians. Not because I am homophobic (I am bisexual, would be rather ironic if I was also a homophobe) but simply because they remind me of my ex-fiance. Oh, and ballet dancers. I avoid them too. Same reason.

Perhaps you should do what I did... Cut them out of your life. Its easy enough in this day and age. Delete (And block) on FB, Delete (And block) on MSN (Or equivalent), delete (and bar) the number from your phone (Or get a new phone). Explain to people that you no longer want to hear anything about them.

It helps. Keeps them off your mind. Gives you the space you need.

Oh, and the final stage of escaping my past that I went through was flying 5,500 miles away and living in a desert for 6 months. I moved home but to a different city, still have more than 200 miles between me and those two and I would not have it any other way. Although that might be a tad extreme for you.

Heh, thanks...wish I could move away, since he lives 10 minutes away from me. Knew the girl for 6 years, him for 3 or 4, he lied to my face about going out with her and she'd been unfaithful to me a few times (mainly out of naivety in thought). So I have lots of triggers, after blocking them, my friend called me and screamed at me because I'm his only friend, tried to change his story. Being a somewhat old-fashioned romantic living in a small town, I'm having a difficult time moving forward.

But really, thanks for speaking up.

 

[xvbones]

So I've been single for a long time and up until recently, I was content to be so. I won't say happy, but content. Anyway, this girl I met in a class I took caught my attention when I began chatting with her on Facebook and as we were talking, the subject of relationships came up.
I thought she had a boyfriend but it turned out she didn't and she made a point of telling me she was single and then made another point of telling me she was happy as such because she'd been in a solid string of them since she was 15 (we're 21).

That got me thinking. Is anyone REALLY happy to be single? Or is it just an excuse they tell themselves to justify not being in a relationship? I can't understand that anyone would be happy to be single. And if one was truly happy being single, then why would they ever say yes to a date?

Well. I don't know her at all, but i have heard those phrases together plenty of times: 'single and quite happy about it' means, in my experience, one of precisely two things:
1)'i am getting laid just fine and am pleased with not being tied to a single person.'
2)'you seem like a nice fellow, but i am not interested in dating you'

Again, I don't know her, and she could be being sincere, and that she really is quite happy about not being in a committed relationship, especially if her last one sucked before it ended.

I was quite fine with being single for three years.

It didn't mean I didn't have companionship, just that I didn't have to share the covers most nights.

 

[Shoggoth2588]

Personally, I'm unhappy when I'm alone. Sure, there are benefits to being single such as being able to flirt with everybody you want and, talk openly about the ways in which you would ravage (insert name here) but that doesn't go over so well when there's a significant other around (unless s/he's into that sort of thing, with that same person in which case BRO-FIST) At the moment though I'm in a relationship and, am extremely happy about it! We're not living together yet but it's coming and I can't freaking wait x3!! I've been through a few other relationships and they weren't all great though so it all depends on who you find really.

As for people who claim to be happy single: it can happen. I was happy when I was single for a while and, my childhood kicked a little ass. I wouldn't go back to being single though, if given the choice.

 

[Enverex]

Unhappy. Not out of choice; apparently I'm no-one's "type", I just make up the background noise.

 

[Sprinal]

To be honest I think the poll kind of needs a "both" option. I am happy yet sad at once. Wierd but it just is.
Sure I could go with a relationship but most of the women I ever meet are really difficult, conservative, boring, dumb or really jsut normal. The problem is; is that my taste in women excludes almost all the ones I see (even most of the good looking ones). So as a result I don't have one.

SO I suppose the answer is that I am content. Yet I would like a girlfriend, but I am not desperate enough to go for the first one I saw. Sure they could be friends. But that is not what I am considering.

 

[SckizoBoy]

*sigh* Good grief...

I... just don't know. I've had three relationships and none of them went well. Unfortunately, these days I question myself every time I encounter a girl I feel as though there's a chance I might get to like (see what I did there?!). I question it so damned much that all liking I might've thought that I had (and again...) is gone. What do I question? Well, everything, first and foremost being the obvious: do I even like this person?! If ever there was a question that fucks things up, it's that one. Even if I can answer with a 'yes', a myriad of questions arise concerning my competence, when I should reveal my frailties, when I should talk about previous relationships, can she convince me to forgive... what if my ex reappears, 'cos unlike most others, I'm still in love with her and she has never given me a reason not to be.

I've never been hurt by a girl (girlfriend, ex-girlfriend and otherwise), and I guess I'm lucky in that way. Maybe not because that puts me in such a position that I have hurt a few girls quite a few times and have been hurt many times because of said girls, just not by them. Being single has freed me from all of that, but there are many things I miss about being in a relationship. One of them is being able to cry and be comforted by one who will not judge. And it being so close to Valentine's Day is one of the things I miss most.

And you know what happens, you end up comparing them all: your exes; your other half; the people you genuinely like; the people you just want to shag. Maybe I'm being melodramatic, but I really feel as though I've let 'the one' slip through, but you know what? I was rarely happy with her. She was rarely happy with me. And I mean 'happy' in the... 'traditional' sense. But it worked, and were it not for dumb bad luck, we might still be together... married with a three year old daughter.

So, I guess I'm not happy, but I doubt I'd be happy in a relationship either, because then, I would have someone with whom to share my despair.

 

[WaReloaded]

I used to like/love being single, and then I got engaged, and now I'm single again. I miss my fiancée. Apart from that, I don't really have anything else to say.

 

[cerealnmuffin]

I hated being single. I lean more towards asexuality as I never had a sex drive, but when I was single I really wanted that connection with someone. Now I am dating and have been for almost 5 years. But the problem is that I'm into girls and am seeing a guy now (I'm a girl btw) He would be perfect except for the being a guy part. First I thought I was bi, but I'm really not into guys in the least. I really want a girlfriend, but I worry about ending up alone so I pretend I'm straight and been feeling more and more empty. My dreams sometimes involve being with a girl and I'm really sad when I wake up. The only girls who are into me are super loud extraverts who find my really quiet, awkward shy nature endearing... yet my type is the quiet type like me. Rambling, didn't mean to write this much but I hadn't realized how much this has been eating me up. I sometimes cry by myself after sex because I can't get into it.

 

[Buffoon]

I'm a pretty selfish person in a lot of ways, I love having my own space and freedom from obligation. I would be willing to give that up for the right girl, but she'd have to be really right for me. And I for her, naturally.