Poll: Is Not Dating a Certain Race Racist?

[LetalisK]

I being a mexican am supposed to be lazy, spanish speaking only with a strong pride in Mexico or whatever when I am none of these things. Or I'm supposed to like tacos.. well I do but tacos are delicious so F u racists!

I never understood that stereotype. Mexicans are simultaneously stereotyped as lazy and as busting their ass doing the back breaking manual labor that "Americans won't do" with not much to show for it. Which is it?

 

[Fireaxe]

The only people who are upset by having pictures of sexy black women mixed in with their sexy white women are A) porn site builders with a monetary interest in categorizing their sex images as clearly as possible, and racists who are simply offended by the sight of non-white people. The former group doesn't apply on a video game message board website and the latter group needs to sack up and get over it.

Option C: People who might want to look at black girls without having to look through all the white girls posted in a generic thread.

It's not about having categories though. If the thread were already labeled for just posting attractive White women then you would have a point. As it was the thread was given a generic "Hottest Chicks" title. So why should the default thread be limited to White women and all other women be some special category? If those posters wanted to only see White women then they should have made a White woman thread instead of trying to push out other races from the thread.

Consider for a moment that the idea of having categories tends to only occur once you have sufficient entries -- so the idea of breaking the images into groups only comes about once there are lots of pictures posted of women who fit different categories (be they age, race, height, glasses, piercings, whatever -- I've seen a "hot girls with iphones or cameras" thread once..). This being said, fully agree with having a "white women" one too if you're going to make different threads.

 

[SinisterDeath]

It can be both.
Its about attraction. You can be not-racist, and simply not attracted to people with black skin. Attraction can be strange that way. If its 'okay' to not date chicks with black hair, because you don't find it attractive, then by the same token, skin color, eyes, ect are all fair game.

However, the 'why' can be for entirely racist reasons.

So to recap, Its not racist if it comes down to attraction. But if its not about attraction, its racist.

 

[DugMachine]

I being a mexican am supposed to be lazy, spanish speaking only with a strong pride in Mexico or whatever when I am none of these things. Or I'm supposed to like tacos.. well I do but tacos are delicious so F u racists!

I never understood that stereotype. Mexicans are simultaneously stereotyped as lazy and as busting their ass doing the back breaking manual labor that "Americans won't do" with not much to show for it. Which is it?

Yeah doesn't make a lick of sense. Hence the reason stereotypes are fucking stupid. Somebody saw one lazy Mexican and thought we all must be like that.

 

[hooglese]

If he doesn't date black people because he thinks they're inferior, then yeah, that's racist but I really doubt that. If he's not sexually attracted to them, its probably for the better he doesn't date them.

 

[mecegirl]

It's not about having categories though. If the thread were already labeled for just posting attractive White women then you would have a point. As it was the thread was given a generic "Hottest Chicks" title. So why should the default thread be limited to White women and all other women be some special category? If those posters wanted to only see White women then they should have made a White woman thread instead of trying to push out other races from the thread.

Consider for a moment that the idea of having categories tends to only occur once you have sufficient entries -- so the idea of breaking the images into groups only comes about once there are lots of pictures posted of women who fit different categories (be they age, race, height, glasses, piercings, whatever -- I've seen a "hot girls with iphones or cameras" thread once..). This being said, fully agree with having a "white women" one too if you're going to make different threads.

I don't understand what you are arguing for. All people are equal, there is no default person. You know it, I know it. I'm just stating that fact for emphasis. So if, like that thread, the title is generic, then all types of people should be fair game to post. I think that while we all have our preferences there is something off about not wanting to even look at a woman who does not fit your definition of hot just because of her skin tone or nose shape. But that is just me. And as I said, they wanted the thread labeled "Hottest Chicks" to be only for posting White women. They did not suggest making their own "Hottest White Woman" thread. They wanted to kick all other races out. And they had already made enough of a fuss to kick Asian women out. The creator of the "Hottest Asians" thread (which existed before I came to the site) only created it because he got complaints whenever he posted Asians in the "Hottest Chicks" thread. When I started posting he came in and asked (sarcastically I'm sure) if it was okay to post non white women in the thread now...So my situation wasn't a new one. I just stood my ground, and perhaps because I did stand up for myself, and because I am a non white woman, it worked. After all, its all well and good to talk about how you don't find (insert race here) attractive when you don't feel the need to explain why because a member of (insert race here) is in the vicinity. And they only felt the need to explain because they were making a fuss. It's one thing to look at a girl and go "Meh not for me". It's another to berate said girl for daring to exist in the same room as you lest she offend your delicate sensibilities.

We can try and rationalize it to try and make it not sound racist, mostly because we have a misunderstanding of what racism is. We believe that hate must be a component. Or that some mustache twirling plot must have been concocted. This isn't comparable to having a separate thread just for pierced women. Women are not born with piercings.

 

[ngl42398]

200 people said it is? That is pathetic. I mean really? It's a matter of preference, not really racism. How on Earth could anyone see that as racism?

 

[PessimistOwl]

Honestly, to me as a gay man, it's as if someone came to me and called me a "sexist" for not wanting to date women. I'll be honest, I'm not aroused by people with darker skin. It's not because I don't like people with dark skin, I actually prefer their company more than people with my own white skin color. At the same time, it's all on how you word it.

In reality, we all have our own "ideal match", I once knew a girl that said her ideal match was "a strong, tall asian cellist with a really high iq and willing to hurt me in sexual ways". It's not racist to have an ideal match, however the way you present it sometimes (i.e setting up a website) can sometimes make you look pretentious and too picky.

 

[kaioshade]

200 people said it is? That is pathetic. I mean really? It's a matter of preference, not really racism. How on Earth could anyone see that as racism?

As a lot of people have said, it is all in the wording. It is one thing to PREFER to date a certain race, or to look for features you may find desirable. To flat out REFUSE to date someone, who may very well be an amazing person solely by the color of their skin, yes is pretty messed up.

I dated exclusively black women throughout my life. That was my preference. However the woman i am with, and most likely the woman i will spend the remainder of my life with, is white. I would have missed out on making myself extremely happy with a wonderful person for an asinine reason such as "i dont date white women".

 

[Fireaxe]

I don't understand what you are arguing for. All people are equal, there is no default person. You know it, I know it. I'm just stating that fact for emphasis. So if, like that thread, the title is generic, then all types of people should be fair game to post.

Well what I originally got into this thread about was someone saying having a different post for Black women was inherently racist; I took issue with this for 2 reasons

1) If someone prefers black women, they're going to be scrolling past a lot of a generic "Hottest Chicks" thread to find them (as most posters will probably post white women).
2) I see no problem breaking pictures of women (or men, or cats, or dogs, or whatever else) into categories.

I think that while we all have our preferences there is something off about not wanting to even look at a woman who does not fit your definition of hot just because of her skin tone or nose shape. But that is just me.

By that logic, it's valid to post pretty much any woman in a hottest chicks thread, but that kind of defeats the purpose of having a thread full of women generally agreed to be attracted.

They did not suggest making their own "Hottest White Woman" thread. They wanted to kick all other races out. And they had already made enough of a fuss to kick Asian women out. The creator of the "Hottest Asians" thread (which existed before I came to the site) only created it because he got complaints whenever he posted Asians in the "Hottest Chicks" thread.

So maybe they should've just had the original thread renamed "Hottest white chicks" -- which, if we're being honest, on the majority of English speaking internet forums *is* probably what the average male user is thinking about when they think "hottest chicks" in the sense of an ideal (given the majority of internet users that speak English are white men, and white men generally find the ideal to be white women).

Not that I disagree that these people loudly complaining about non-white women in an thread not marked as being for white women were probably at best arseholes and at worst racist arseholes.

So my situation wasn't a new one. I just stood my ground, and perhaps because I did stand up for myself, and because I am a non white woman, it worked. After all, its all well and good to talk about how you don't find (insert race here) attractive when you don't feel the need to explain why because a member of (insert race here) is in the vicinity.

Yeah it's generally not worth bothering doing that, all it does is induces whining, insults, or just wordy forum posts.

This isn't comparable to having a separate thread just for pierced women. Women are not born with piercings.

Actually, given it just comes down to preference, it is pretty much the same thing; some things are either attractive or not -- really doesn't matter if it's genetic or not (which is why, incidentally, you won't see many women with a shaved head in such topics either).

It's worth considering that a judgement of "not attractive to me" based on race (or piercing, or hair, or tattooing) isn't the same as a negative judgement about a person as a person based on the same.

 

[m72_ar]

If you're not physically attracted, you're not attracted.
If for some reason the girl say you are racist for not dating her, she is the racist one.

Personally I don't give a fuck about what race you will date or won't date, some of my Asian female friends dates only white boys and it does not bother me at all. And god knows I prefer other ethnicity than mine looks wise (I'm asian), though based on my dating skills I definitely not gonna limit my dating pool based on something as trivial as skin color. I will discriminate on their culture, upbringing and behavior but not their race (example: I will never consider dating a religious girl, looks be damned).

It only majorly pisses me off, if the reason for not dating a particular race is based on racist stereotypes (I'll let you fill in the blank)and not because the other guy is a douche, then it is super racist

 

[rasputin0009]

I think it might actually be racist. Because you can find African Americans with such pale skin that they look of Caucasian descent. You wouldn't know that they're black unless they told you. Would that stop him from dating a girl of such? If so, then yes it's racist.

I definitely don't get it. Beautiful is beautiful. Skin colour doesn't change that. I think searching for the perfect girl is setting yourself up for failure. Why would you limit yourself in any way?

 

[kaioshade]

So here is the funny thing here! Preference is not what you think it is. Lemme ask you something, were you born with the ability to do math? Or did you learn it? For whatever reason, when it comes to something that isn't tangible people make it sacred. If your preference is for white guys, then in reality your brain has been fed supportive and reflective ideals for white people (even if you aren't white), and if your preference even goes as far as to say "I just don't find black people attractive" what that is all about is that you haven't worked that pool of resources enough.

If you fill up pot a with happy white people and you trinkle in an occasional black dude into pot b, then you will prefer pot a. So, without your real control (This is where a lot of racist people freak out, thinking people are blaming them for something out of their control, well tough, we all do it and the good ones fix the problem) you developed your preferences, meaning you are racist, but not in a real and meaningful way!

To get over this just find black people attractive! It's super easy! Find people that share interests, force yourself to get familiar with a black sex symbol, once you get it started it just snowballs. Then, THEN, you can finally be a cool guy!! Someone who doesn't see or really care about race! Now you can still be a total racist if you want but at least your stupid racist brain will stop making you racist without your permission.

......what?

I am not sure this post is serious or not.

Being able to see past skin color has nothing to do with being "cool" its being a decent human being.

 

[runic knight]

So here is the funny thing here! Preference is not what you think it is. Lemme ask you something, were you born with the ability to do math? Or did you learn it? For whatever reason, when it comes to something that isn't tangible people make it sacred. If your preference is for white guys, then in reality your brain has been fed supportive and reflective ideals for white people (even if you aren't white), and if your preference even goes as far as to say "I just don't find black people attractive" what that is all about is that you haven't worked that pool of resources enough.

If you fill up pot a with happy white people and you trinkle in an occasional black dude into pot b, then you will prefer pot a. So, without your real control (This is where a lot of racist people freak out, thinking people are blaming them for something out of their control, well tough, we all do it and the good ones fix the problem) you developed your preferences, meaning you are racist, but not in a real and meaningful way!

To get over this just find black people attractive! It's super easy! Find people that share interests, force yourself to get familiar with a black sex symbol, once you get it started it just snowballs. Then, THEN, you can finally be a cool guy!! Someone who doesn't see or really care about race! Now you can still be a total racist if you want but at least your stupid racist brain will stop making you racist without your permission.

I know you don't mean it this way and that is why I feel the need to point this out here, so you realize how what you said comes off.

To get over this just find women attractive! It's super easy! Find women that share interests, force yourself to get familiar with a female sex symbol, once you get it started it just snowballs. Then, THEN, you can finally be a cool guy!! Someone who doesn't see or really care about gender! Now you can still be a total sexist if you want but at least your stupid sexist brain will stop making you sexist without your permission.

Who you are attracted to is not simply nurture. There are biological aspects that play on what traits people find attractive, as well as social and cultural pressures. When all put together, you can easily get quirks for or against various traits, up to and including traits that are nearly exclusive in some races but not others(natural hair color) or up to even ones that define the race (such as skin color).

What you try to explain here sounds exactly like the same misunderstanding of things that has homophobics telling people they can learn to not be attracted to others of their own gender. It is not so simple and you really insult everyone here trying to present it as such.

 

[WarpZone]

racism??

Not according to any of these definitions of "racism": http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/racism Unless you do something ridiculous like claim that "datability by is a human trait!"

As for whether or not it's discrimination, that's a little fuzzier, but only slightly: http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/discrimination If you considered me not wanting to date you "unfair," then you could make an argument that it's discrimination.

Keep in mind that if you do use either definition to support the argument that not dating someone of a certian race is racism, then logically you must also believe that not dating someone of any particular sex is sexist, that not dating someone a lot older than you is ageist, etc.

And, as always, "if you ignore the dictionary definitions and just make up your own, then of course you are right and I am an idiot."

However: Keep in mind that romance, sex and love are not subjects that human beings are particularly good at being rational about, and that racism is an incredibly touchy subject. Anyone involved in a conversation about race OR sexuality is bound to bring tons of baggage and emotion into the conversation with them, and the G.I.F.T. amplifies this.

Interestingly enough, it appears that all human affection is covered under one of the definitions of prejudiced: http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/prejudiced "having a feeling or like or dislike for something or someone." That could cover friggin' every emotion you've ever had, no matter how justified. However, keep in mind that this is a distinct defintion from the first definition, which is "having or showing an unfair feeling of dislike for a person or group because of race, sex, religion, etc." Hence, if you use the word "prejudice" to mean the second definition, it's not the bad thing we all think of when we hear the word "prejudice."

(In fact, I am going to go out on a limb and recommend that you do NOT use the word prejudice to mean the second definition, ever, unless you are deliberately trying to sow confusion and pick a fight. I'm no linguist, but it's pretty obviously an archaic definition of the word that nobody actually uses anymore.)

In short: If trolling was your intent all along, then well-played, sir. If you're seriously asking, the Dictionary says no. But I don't expect that to carry much weight in a conversation between a known racist, a girl he snubbed, and the entire freaking internet.

 

[Joos]

The result of the poll looks better than the posts in this thread reflects. Next week we'll return with the PC-crowd favorite "is it homophobic not to date gay people?" Stay tuned.

 

[Breccia]

Merriam-Webster defines "racist" as "a person who believes that one race should control all others ". Hmm. Didn't know that was the definition. So I guess...no?

Let's see, in related words it has "bigot". The definition of bigot is "a person who strongly and unfairly dislikes other people, ideas, etc. : a bigoted person; especially : a person who hates or refuses to accept the members of a particular group (such as a racial or religious group)" Hmm. Does "not wanting to date them" count as "strongly"? I'm not sure it does.

Let's try "prejudice". It says "an unfair feeling of dislike for a person or group because of race, sex, religion, etc." I think that's closest.

Formal definitions aside, is what you're doing discriminatory and unfair? Yes. I think the biggest test comes to if you're willing to admit it in public. Generally speaking people don't want to publicly admit to doing something they think is wrong. If a, say, hispanic lady asked you out, would you say, to her face, "I don't want to date anyone outside of my race"? If the answer is no...

 

[BloatedGuppy]

The result of the poll looks better than the posts in this thread reflects.

That's because the poll question does not actually reflect the question in the OP.

And the question in the OP does not actually reflect the situation the OP used as an example.

Half the people in this thread are discussing either the scenario posited by the OP, or the actual scenario he's referencing. Other people are just popping in, looking at the poll question, saying "DUH OF COURSE NOT", slamming the middle option and leaving.

And of course it helps LOADS that options 1 and 3 are cut off and confusing (go-go Escapist polls), whereas option 2 is actually legible.

 

[ugeine]

The result of the poll looks better than the posts in this thread reflects. Next week we'll return with the PC-crowd favorite "is it homophobic not to date gay people?" Stay tuned.

Can't see how that's even vaguely similar, unless you think hetrosexual means 'a person who only dates white people.'

That's be an interesting sexual identity. Caucasianosexual?

 

[ugeine]

Just realised there's a good chance you were taking the piss and I missed that. Oops.