Poll: Is your virginity worth saving?

[prophecy2514]

This gave me a good laugh, didn't realise in this day and age this view was still around.

Sex is a pleasureable activity you do with someone you find attractive and you trust. Certainly wait to find a good partner, but dont wait til marriage to give it a go. You don't know what your missing, because its just grand.
And when your not getting it anymore for a period of time and then get some again, its fucking unbelieveabley fantasticly fantastic. but again you won't know if you dont try. Drop your old school views on such an outdated concept, just do it safe.

 

[Kevlar Eater]

I'm not saving my virginity; nobody wants it.

Anyway, I don't believe it's worth saving. Like countless other before me have said, physical intimacy and sexual compatibility are quite important in a relationship. I'd believe just about anything before I'd believe in anything religion-related.

 

[Dark_Reaction]

Me and my family have a saying, Marriage and Christmas have a few things in common, unwrapping your present before the big special day is a VERY BAD IDEA!... Do YOU personally feel that your virginity is worth saving, and why?

No, because sexuality is a key aspect of any functional romantic relationship, of any functional human being, and waiting until marriage to gain sexual experience (let alone sexual experience with the person you're intending to marry) is like waiting for the day orf your license test to get experience driving - its a bad idea, and it will probably lead to your failure in the test at hand.

Same goes for marriage: marrying someone, only to find that you don't share sexual interests or are outright not sexually compatible, is pretty much a worst-case scenario to my reckoning.
Furthermore, your belief that your chosen deity-figure is specifically choosing a mate for you is a rather dangerous viewpoint in my opinion, as it implies that any behavior on the part of your companion which you don't agree with (or which doesn't fall into the dogma of your chosen deity-figure) will be your companion's fault, because they aren't adhering to "God's plan"... which, to my mind, doesn't sound particularly sane.

Sex is like ice cream, in that there are many MANY flavors, and not everyone enjoys them all or enjoys some at all times; thus, if you're into chocolate, you shouldn't assume that the person you're with will be a chocolate lover because your chosen deity shall will it to be so.
And if they aren't, which is entirely possible, your relationship probably isn't as meant-to-be as you believe.
That being the case, its clearly wise to know what flavors you like before trying to find someone to share that flavor with forever.

tl;dr: Jumping into long term commitment without any sexual experience and/or knowing your - and your partner's - sexual tastes is, generally, a very bad idea.

I was also wondering if you guys also feel that most wives would appreciate the fact that ...

To my reckoning, that's a pretty crappy gift, for the reasons I noted above.
From a personal perspective, I wouldn't view someone's virginity as a "gift of loyalty, patience and self-disciple"; but, rather, I would view it as a sign that said person has missed out on exploring a very basic aspect of who they are... and I would be worried, because anyone who hasn't taken the time to explore that aspect of themselves likely isn't a prime candidate for life-long (or even long term) devotion to a sexual partner.

As a man, I wouldn't take my future-wife's being a virgin as a good thing, and I certainly wouldn't be open to marrying her before exploring her sexual tastes to at least a precursory degree - regardless of how much I loved her, I wouldn't be willing to take steps towards a long term legal/social joining without knowing her sexual tastes (which she can't even know herself without some degree of sexual experience).

tl;dr: Marrying a virgin really isn't appealing to me - and I don't really understand why it would be to anyone else.

Last thing where I come from, we believe that fornication is just as bad as Adultery, don't ask me why, I didn't write the Bible....

I don't really have anything nice to say with regards to this last bit.
I don't believe in "Gods".
I don't believe the Bible is anything more than a book written by men in a time before humans had any degree of knowledge about the world around them, used to drive fear into the hearts of their followers and then exploit that fear for their own earthly-gain.
And I certainly don't believe there is a deity-being observing my every action and judging me for it, with secret plans to provide me a "perfect mate" if I do what Sky-Dad says is right.

What I can say is that while I respect your beliefs in the context of being your beliefs, I find them wildly outdated and they couldn't be further from my own personal beliefs.

 

[Smeatza]

Losing your virginity is worth saving for someone you love and loves you in return, as it could quite easily turn into a bad/humiliating experience otherwise.

I don't think it's a good idea to wait for marriage though, for a number of reasons.
I mean, do you want to be finding out your sexual preference after you're married, explaining to your new husband/wife that you might be gay is an awkward conversation.

 

[Divine Miss Bee]

if you save yourself until marriage, the first time you sleep with the only person you'll be sleep with for the rest of your life, it will be disappointing for them. because you're a goddamn VIRGIN. virgins, are not known for their sexual talents. and, i would find it way creepy if i was my spouse's first sexual experience because people tend to idealize the person they lost their virginity with and i would much prefer to be married to someone who does not idealize me at all. unless you see a real, flesh-and-blood woman with flaws and selfish tendencies when you look at me, you don't actually love ME, you love this goddess that doesn't actually exist and that's way to much pressure to bring into a marriage and expect me to lice with forever.

what i did, and what i believe is the best thing for anyone to do, is to ditch your virginity with a more sexually experienced friend who cares about you and is clean, because they're patient enough to go a few rounds so you get the basics, but there's an understanding going in that you're just having sex and it's not weird later. then you know what to expect, you have an idea of what you're doing, and if you then want to stop until marriage you at least won't be a sad little spectacle on the wedding night. but i find that as long as you practice safe sex there is absolutely no reason to deny yourself sex when you want it. that's just unhealthy.

 

[Dark_Reaction]

If I voted yes, but I am not a virgin, am I contradicting myself?

Only if you enjoyed it.

 

[renegade7]

I would say, firstly, do not sleep with someone you don't trust because you need to 'lose your virginity' like all your friends. I would say hold off until you're 17 or 18 and at least mostly mature enough to deal with it, not out of any special concept of the value of being a virgin but because the people I knew who did start having sex in high school ended up at best unhappy with their relationships, at worst pregnant drop outs. It really is an unnecessary stress at that point. Focus on your grades in high school, you'll get into a nice college where you will meet someone absolutely incredible, then do whatever she will willingly do with you.

But, while I wouldn't say lose it as soon as possible, I would definitely recommend not being a prude. At least it's fun, and you do not want to be unexperienced and awkward when you do meet someone you really care about. And if you're not at least 18, you haven't. Trust me, the relationships I had in high school are nothing compared to my current one in college.

 

[Divine Miss Bee]

if you save yourself until marriage, the first time you sleep with the only person you'll be sleep with for the rest of your life, it will be disappointing for them. because you're a goddamn VIRGIN. virgins, are not known for their sexual talents. and, i would find it way creepy if i was my spouse's first sexual experience because people tend to idealize the person they lost their virginity with and i would much prefer to be married to someone who does not idealize me at all. unless you see a real, flesh-and-blood woman with flaws and selfish tendencies when you look at me, you don't actually love ME, you love this goddess that doesn't actually exist and that's way to much pressure to bring into a marriage and expect me to lice with forever.

what i did, and what i believe is the best thing for anyone to do, is to ditch your virginity with a more sexually experienced friend who cares about you and is clean, because they're patient enough to go a few rounds so you get the basics, but there's an understanding going in that you're just having sex and it's not weird later. then you know what to expect, you have an idea of what you're doing, and if you then want to stop until marriage you at least won't be a sad little spectacle on the wedding night. but i find that as long as you practice safe sex there is absolutely no reason to deny yourself sex when you want it. that's just unhealthy.

that be your opinion there laddy
don't brush them off as unhealthy
accept their differences

isn't this a forum for sharing opinions? and by saying "what i believe is the best thing," i made it pretty clear that this was my opinion. so i don't understand the point to your post. i can probably find studies backed by science that would add some facts to my side, but nobody asked for science, the OP asked for opinions. and i notice that you didn't really share yours, you just observed that i shared mine. care to expand on your post?

 

[Divine Miss Bee]

if you save yourself until marriage, the first time you sleep with the only person you'll be sleep with for the rest of your life, it will be disappointing for them. because you're a goddamn VIRGIN. virgins are not known for their sexual talents. and, i would find it way creepy if i was my spouse's first sexual experience because people tend to idealize the person they lost their virginity with and i would much prefer to be married to someone who does not idealize me at all. unless you see a real, flesh-and-blood woman with flaws and selfish tendencies when you look at me, you don't actually love ME, you love this goddess that doesn't actually exist and that's way to much pressure to bring into a marriage and expect me to lice with forever.

what i did, and what i believe is the best thing for anyone to do, is to ditch your virginity with a more sexually experienced friend who cares about you and is clean, because they're patient enough to go a few rounds so you get the basics, but there's an understanding going in that you're just having sex and it's not weird later. then you know what to expect, you have an idea of what you're doing, and if you then want to stop until marriage you at least won't be a sad little spectacle on the wedding night. but i find that as long as you practice safe sex there is absolutely no reason to deny yourself sex when you want it. that's just unhealthy.

that be your opinion there laddy
don't brush them off as unhealthy
accept their differences

isn't this a forum for sharing opinions? and by saying "what i believe is the best thing," i made it pretty clear that this was my opinion. so i don't understand the point to your post. i can probably find studies backed by science that would add some facts to my side, but nobody asked for science, the OP asked for opinions. and i notice that you didn't really share yours, you just observed that i shared mine. care to expand on your post?

didnt mean to offend, yours was just kinda broad,
and lacked some words that signified opinion

thats about it sorry if i angered you man

if you'd angered me i wouldn't have responded. though if you keep calling me a man i might get a bit miffed. most men don't refer to themselves as women or goddesses, or put "miss" in their usernames. don't comment on posts you don't read if you don't want to anger people.

 

[Something Amyss]

most men don't refer to themselves as women or goddesses, or put "miss" in their usernames. don't comment on posts you don't read if you don't want to anger people.

We live in vastly different worlds, it seems. XD

 

[Zydrate]

Virginity is a myth. You lose "nothing" when you have sex for the first time. It's just some weird social barrier that I've never understood.

 

[bojackx]

i say yes, its worth saving because its literally the most personal thing you do with another person. why would you give away something so special away like that? im 24 years old and proudly still a virgin, anyone who says otherwise well, enjoy you're STD's if and when you eventually get them.

that's another thing thing, so many people sleep with random people and they dont even bloody know each other at all. i'd rather sleep with a person i know everything about and want to spend the rest of my life with. its safer, and if you do get the life breaking of an unwanted
child then you can afford to raise it properly unlike so many accident moms who create the burdens of society.

Also, i am not religious, so nothing has soiled my logical brain. except the soils of human life which tells my logical brain to wait for the right person to sleep with and spend my life with. so ....there...

You do realise people know about AND use condoms for random sexual encounters (usually)? Someone who has lots of partners won't inevitably contract herpes or something as long as they're careful.

Also, people who sleep around aren't automatically poor and unable to care for a child. And who's to say that you and your future spouse will be wealthy and have the money to raise a child? You seem to be stereotyping a whole bunch...

Finally, if you're saying that your brain isn't "soiled", then the logical thing to do (based on human instinct) would be to have lots of partners, and therefore pass on your genes to more offspring. Having one single partner for your whole life isn't exactly natural.

OT: I wouldn't say so, but then again I've still got mine.

 

[TecnoMonkey]

No, what would someone gain from "saving" their virginity, it's not like you win an achievement for it. I think the idea of virginity should not exist in the first place.

 

[Divine Miss Bee]

if you save yourself until marriage, the first time you sleep with the only person you'll be sleep with for the rest of your life, it will be disappointing for them. because you're a goddamn VIRGIN. virgins are not known for their sexual talents. and, i would find it way creepy if i was my spouse's first sexual experience because people tend to idealize the person they lost their virginity with and i would much prefer to be married to someone who does not idealize me at all. unless you see a real, flesh-and-blood woman with flaws and selfish tendencies when you look at me, you don't actually love ME, you love this goddess that doesn't actually exist and that's way to much pressure to bring into a marriage and expect me to lice with forever.

what i did, and what i believe is the best thing for anyone to do, is to ditch your virginity with a more sexually experienced friend who cares about you and is clean, because they're patient enough to go a few rounds so you get the basics, but there's an understanding going in that you're just having sex and it's not weird later. then you know what to expect, you have an idea of what you're doing, and if you then want to stop until marriage you at least won't be a sad little spectacle on the wedding night. but i find that as long as you practice safe sex there is absolutely no reason to deny yourself sex when you want it. that's just unhealthy.

that be your opinion there laddy
don't brush them off as unhealthy
accept their differences

isn't this a forum for sharing opinions? and by saying "what i believe is the best thing," i made it pretty clear that this was my opinion. so i don't understand the point to your post. i can probably find studies backed by science that would add some facts to my side, but nobody asked for science, the OP asked for opinions. and i notice that you didn't really share yours, you just observed that i shared mine. care to expand on your post?

didnt mean to offend, yours was just kinda broad,
and lacked some words that signified opinion

thats about it sorry if i angered you man

if you'd angered me i wouldn't have responded. though if you keep calling me a man i might get a bit miffed. most men don't refer to themselves as women or goddesses, or put "miss" in their usernames. don't comment on posts you don't read if you don't want to anger people.

i did read it
fine then i shall use the term
dude

i much prefer "goddess divine" but i'll take what i can get.

 

[Divine Miss Bee]

most men don't refer to themselves as women or goddesses, or put "miss" in their usernames. don't comment on posts you don't read if you don't want to anger people.

We live in vastly different worlds, it seems. XD

come on over to mine, things make much more sense here.

 

[airrazor7]

I've always seen it as a boulder I'm carrying on my back. I'd rather be rid of it and not have to suffer under society's judgment than treasure it for that special someone, who'll probably think I'm a weirdo anyway for not having lost it yet.

Surprisingly enough, there are still those who will think you're a weirdo for not saving it. Not telling anyone that they should, btw. Of course the only people who will that are the hardcore church goers. I say church goers and not Christians because I believe the people who take the bible too seriously are actually doing their chosen faith a disservice and misrepresenting it. Anywho, I remember a minister telling a story about being married to his wife. For whatever reason, he waited until after they had been married to tell her that he wasn't virgin like she was. He didn't lie about it, just never mentioned. However, his wife was severely pissed at him. She treated him like he had cheated on or betrayed her; gave him the whole dog house treatment. It took her weeks to get over it and forgive him.

To be honest, I thought she overreacted and was being way too ridiculous but that's a zealous church goer for you.

On topic: To each their own. Some like the thought of their future partner saving themselves for marriage and others don't care or would rather have someone "experienced." I do think that having sex is sacred and should be done with someone whom you deeply love. So yeah, it's worth saving.

 

[FootloosePhoenix]

I think the first time you have sex is definitely worth saving...for someone you love. Along with all the other times you fornicate afterwards. Some people never have a desire to get married, ya know, and not because they don't love a person. While I'm not an individual with that viewpoint, I can understand it. What with divorce rates, you can't exactly say that marriage as a whole is this sacred entity, and it never really was taking into account arranged marriages, gunshot weddings, abusive relationships that people were stuck in due to laws of the past, ect. But that's a whole 'nother topic.

However, I also believe that sex should be valued more, as an act of love and not just the (usually) ultimate form of getting you off. It's not something you should treat as an arbitrary physical function, but if you decide to fuck someone you're particularly fond of and don't end up staying with them for the rest of your life, that's nothing to feel bad about. Basically I'm just not in favour of one-night stands and the like. But do want you want--just because I have these ideals and would feel filthy for having sex with someone I didn't deeply care for doesn't mean you can't have your rights.

Also, regardless of your stance on the matter, placing different values on male and female virginity is just an out-dated bunch of bullshit, not to mention plain old unfair. You can't have a sexually experienced man without sexually experienced woman being "created," for lack of a better term, as a result, and vice versa. The fact that these views are still around in the 21st century is disheartening, to say the least. Jesus, I hate it when guys aren't considered "men" because they haven't had their first lady yet and women are called sluts if they're unmarried and not a virgin. It's fucking archaic.

 

[kenu12345]

Personally yeah i think it is. I've always imagined losing mine to someone i absolutely love and there is no bigger proof of love for me other than marriage

 

[frizzlebyte]

Of course not. There's something dehumanising about placing too great a value on virginity. It's like you don't care about them as a person because now they are used goods, whereas you wanted a partner who was brand new.

I don't really care about my girlfriend's/future wife's virginity status. If you value that as some kind of fetish, then yeah, you're a little weird.

As for me, I probably will wait til I'm married, simply because my religious upbringing (and continued, less strict, religious beliefs) have simply conditioned me to be uncomfortable with sex outside of marriage. However, I wouldn't beat myself up if something happened and I didn't wait.

 

[BleedingPride]

well to me it's more simple. would you rather have sex, or not have sex? if the answer is "have sex" then no, its not worth saving. if the answer is "not have sex" then stop trolling my comments! jk. if you want to hold off on losing it until you love a girl, or until you're just ready to lose it, whatever just go at your own pace.