Poll: Is your virginity worth saving?

[LGC Pominator]

Honestly the question seems rather odd on the face of it, I mean sex is sex, it is fun, generally shared between two consenting adults.

If I ended up in a committed relationship with a woman who I 'loved' and I wasn't able to satisfy her because I hadn't been playing the field for the preceding years of my life, surely that would be worse?

the whole concept of virginity as being some sort of valuable thing rather than a definition of the status of your sex life is entirely backwards, and a holdover from religious times, I think that for the most part the human race has outgrown those sorts of superstitious approaches to the act of getting it on.

I think however that it is worth noting that the way you have framed it in the original post: similar to a Christmas present, speaks volumes to the way in which you as an individual perceive the act of sex, as some form of gift that you need to wait for and receive when the time is right, which is fair enough, I know others with similar ideas about it, hell between 12 and 15 I thought like that, however sooner or later you will probably end up with someone you like and it happens naturally, because that is what we, as humans do to relax; we screw, and we enjoy it.

tl;dr: enjoy yourself, you have no reason not to, sex is not going to change who you are as a person, but it will add something to do with your time that you can enjoy with another adult

 

[Marcus Kehoe]

There is nothing wrong with saving your virginity, it may not be right for the times, but fuck the times. If you want to hold out for marriage, or the right person, or just don't want to have sex yet then don't have it. It's not like 25% of the Us doesn't have herpes.

 

[Strazdas]

What's with all the weird ass characters in your post? Like... I just don't understand.

hes probably using some untraditional browser that does not use UTF.


Virginity is just a word we use to define people who never had sex. For woman there is a biological condition that changes afterwards, for men there isnt. but neither are important. infact, most women claim that they feel much better after the change.
Itsl ike saying "is red worth saving". red is definition of a type of colour. it doesnt have a "worth saving" or "not worth saving". its just a definition of condition.

 

[Zack Alklazaris]

I didn't lose mine till I was 21. I was saving myself till I found someone special that I'd want to marry, but not saving myself till marriage. I believe you need to "test the waters" before making a big decision like marriage and that includes seeing how the sex is.

I will say while some women found a 20 year old virgin insanely attractive. Its really not worth it. I just seem to have issues with sex because I never had to work for it. At 21 she was practically giving it away so all I had to do was go for it. No work involved, no late night dreams about doing it I just did it when I wanted it. So I have very little interests in boobs or spooning.

I guess you could say I'm spoiled rotten... some how.

 

[Techno Squidgy]

snip

Personally, it'd be nice to save it for someone I truly cared about, however I disagree with waiting till marriage. Actually, I don't like the idea of marriage at all, it doesn't make sense to me.

On the other hand though, I'm pretty bored of masturbating now and I really do feel like I'm missing out. They say that virginity is only a big deal until you lose it, but they also say that the grass is much greener on the other side and it's looking pretty darn green to me right now. Somebody needs to have a word with this 'they' about being so damn contradictory!
[small]"on the other hand..." that's just terrible, please forgive me![/small]

 

[Wolf-AUS]

It's a pretty loaded question that I don't think can be as clear cut as a definite yes or no.

I myself was always thinking that I was going to save it for someone special. Then when I lost it, I didn't even get the girl I slept withs name. I never once regretted it and while I'll probably remember it for a long time it doesn't bring me any sadness that it wasn't with the love of my life, quite the contrary actually, because I'm now no longer worried about how to do this or what if I can't find the the hole, or all the other questions guys and more in particular virgins (I sure know I did) tend to ask themselves. All those wild scenarios that go through your head where you've got no idea what to do, well, they've all vanished for me.

On the other side of the coin, I can entirely see why someone would want to save their sex for someone special. I find it a very intimate and personal thing to share with someone, exploring each others bodies and all that. Through my experience with sex, it means so incredibly much more if you are emotionally invested as well as physically attracted to the person you're about to make love to. So I would never, ever consider thinking less about someone because they feel like they want to save themselves for a certain someone. I have the utmost respect for them.

In short, I don't see virginity as a big thing, regardless of gender. But I completely understand and respect people's morals and wishes to save themselves for a very significant other. I honestly couldn't vote either way in the poll, so I left my box un-ticked

 

[prophecy2514]

This gave me a good laugh, didn't realise in this day and age this view was still around.

Sex is a pleasureable activity you do with someone you find attractive and you trust. Certainly wait to find a good partner, but dont wait til marriage to give it a go. You don't know what your missing, because its just grand.
And when your not getting it anymore for a period of time and then get some again, its fucking unbelieveabley fantasticly fantastic. but again you won't know if you dont try. Drop your old school views on such an outdated concept, just do it safe.

 

[Kevlar Eater]

I'm not saving my virginity; nobody wants it.

Anyway, I don't believe it's worth saving. Like countless other before me have said, physical intimacy and sexual compatibility are quite important in a relationship. I'd believe just about anything before I'd believe in anything religion-related.

 

[Dark_Reaction]

Me and my family have a saying, Marriage and Christmas have a few things in common, unwrapping your present before the big special day is a VERY BAD IDEA!... Do YOU personally feel that your virginity is worth saving, and why?

No, because sexuality is a key aspect of any functional romantic relationship, of any functional human being, and waiting until marriage to gain sexual experience (let alone sexual experience with the person you're intending to marry) is like waiting for the day orf your license test to get experience driving - its a bad idea, and it will probably lead to your failure in the test at hand.

Same goes for marriage: marrying someone, only to find that you don't share sexual interests or are outright not sexually compatible, is pretty much a worst-case scenario to my reckoning.
Furthermore, your belief that your chosen deity-figure is specifically choosing a mate for you is a rather dangerous viewpoint in my opinion, as it implies that any behavior on the part of your companion which you don't agree with (or which doesn't fall into the dogma of your chosen deity-figure) will be your companion's fault, because they aren't adhering to "God's plan"... which, to my mind, doesn't sound particularly sane.

Sex is like ice cream, in that there are many MANY flavors, and not everyone enjoys them all or enjoys some at all times; thus, if you're into chocolate, you shouldn't assume that the person you're with will be a chocolate lover because your chosen deity shall will it to be so.
And if they aren't, which is entirely possible, your relationship probably isn't as meant-to-be as you believe.
That being the case, its clearly wise to know what flavors you like before trying to find someone to share that flavor with forever.

tl;dr: Jumping into long term commitment without any sexual experience and/or knowing your - and your partner's - sexual tastes is, generally, a very bad idea.

I was also wondering if you guys also feel that most wives would appreciate the fact that ...

To my reckoning, that's a pretty crappy gift, for the reasons I noted above.
From a personal perspective, I wouldn't view someone's virginity as a "gift of loyalty, patience and self-disciple"; but, rather, I would view it as a sign that said person has missed out on exploring a very basic aspect of who they are... and I would be worried, because anyone who hasn't taken the time to explore that aspect of themselves likely isn't a prime candidate for life-long (or even long term) devotion to a sexual partner.

As a man, I wouldn't take my future-wife's being a virgin as a good thing, and I certainly wouldn't be open to marrying her before exploring her sexual tastes to at least a precursory degree - regardless of how much I loved her, I wouldn't be willing to take steps towards a long term legal/social joining without knowing her sexual tastes (which she can't even know herself without some degree of sexual experience).

tl;dr: Marrying a virgin really isn't appealing to me - and I don't really understand why it would be to anyone else.

Last thing where I come from, we believe that fornication is just as bad as Adultery, don't ask me why, I didn't write the Bible....

I don't really have anything nice to say with regards to this last bit.
I don't believe in "Gods".
I don't believe the Bible is anything more than a book written by men in a time before humans had any degree of knowledge about the world around them, used to drive fear into the hearts of their followers and then exploit that fear for their own earthly-gain.
And I certainly don't believe there is a deity-being observing my every action and judging me for it, with secret plans to provide me a "perfect mate" if I do what Sky-Dad says is right.

What I can say is that while I respect your beliefs in the context of being your beliefs, I find them wildly outdated and they couldn't be further from my own personal beliefs.

 

[Smeatza]

Losing your virginity is worth saving for someone you love and loves you in return, as it could quite easily turn into a bad/humiliating experience otherwise.

I don't think it's a good idea to wait for marriage though, for a number of reasons.
I mean, do you want to be finding out your sexual preference after you're married, explaining to your new husband/wife that you might be gay is an awkward conversation.

 

[Divine Miss Bee]

if you save yourself until marriage, the first time you sleep with the only person you'll be sleep with for the rest of your life, it will be disappointing for them. because you're a goddamn VIRGIN. virgins, are not known for their sexual talents. and, i would find it way creepy if i was my spouse's first sexual experience because people tend to idealize the person they lost their virginity with and i would much prefer to be married to someone who does not idealize me at all. unless you see a real, flesh-and-blood woman with flaws and selfish tendencies when you look at me, you don't actually love ME, you love this goddess that doesn't actually exist and that's way to much pressure to bring into a marriage and expect me to lice with forever.

what i did, and what i believe is the best thing for anyone to do, is to ditch your virginity with a more sexually experienced friend who cares about you and is clean, because they're patient enough to go a few rounds so you get the basics, but there's an understanding going in that you're just having sex and it's not weird later. then you know what to expect, you have an idea of what you're doing, and if you then want to stop until marriage you at least won't be a sad little spectacle on the wedding night. but i find that as long as you practice safe sex there is absolutely no reason to deny yourself sex when you want it. that's just unhealthy.

 

[Dark_Reaction]

If I voted yes, but I am not a virgin, am I contradicting myself?

Only if you enjoyed it.

 

[renegade7]

I would say, firstly, do not sleep with someone you don't trust because you need to 'lose your virginity' like all your friends. I would say hold off until you're 17 or 18 and at least mostly mature enough to deal with it, not out of any special concept of the value of being a virgin but because the people I knew who did start having sex in high school ended up at best unhappy with their relationships, at worst pregnant drop outs. It really is an unnecessary stress at that point. Focus on your grades in high school, you'll get into a nice college where you will meet someone absolutely incredible, then do whatever she will willingly do with you.

But, while I wouldn't say lose it as soon as possible, I would definitely recommend not being a prude. At least it's fun, and you do not want to be unexperienced and awkward when you do meet someone you really care about. And if you're not at least 18, you haven't. Trust me, the relationships I had in high school are nothing compared to my current one in college.

 

[Divine Miss Bee]

if you save yourself until marriage, the first time you sleep with the only person you'll be sleep with for the rest of your life, it will be disappointing for them. because you're a goddamn VIRGIN. virgins, are not known for their sexual talents. and, i would find it way creepy if i was my spouse's first sexual experience because people tend to idealize the person they lost their virginity with and i would much prefer to be married to someone who does not idealize me at all. unless you see a real, flesh-and-blood woman with flaws and selfish tendencies when you look at me, you don't actually love ME, you love this goddess that doesn't actually exist and that's way to much pressure to bring into a marriage and expect me to lice with forever.

what i did, and what i believe is the best thing for anyone to do, is to ditch your virginity with a more sexually experienced friend who cares about you and is clean, because they're patient enough to go a few rounds so you get the basics, but there's an understanding going in that you're just having sex and it's not weird later. then you know what to expect, you have an idea of what you're doing, and if you then want to stop until marriage you at least won't be a sad little spectacle on the wedding night. but i find that as long as you practice safe sex there is absolutely no reason to deny yourself sex when you want it. that's just unhealthy.

that be your opinion there laddy
don't brush them off as unhealthy
accept their differences

isn't this a forum for sharing opinions? and by saying "what i believe is the best thing," i made it pretty clear that this was my opinion. so i don't understand the point to your post. i can probably find studies backed by science that would add some facts to my side, but nobody asked for science, the OP asked for opinions. and i notice that you didn't really share yours, you just observed that i shared mine. care to expand on your post?

 

[Divine Miss Bee]

if you save yourself until marriage, the first time you sleep with the only person you'll be sleep with for the rest of your life, it will be disappointing for them. because you're a goddamn VIRGIN. virgins are not known for their sexual talents. and, i would find it way creepy if i was my spouse's first sexual experience because people tend to idealize the person they lost their virginity with and i would much prefer to be married to someone who does not idealize me at all. unless you see a real, flesh-and-blood woman with flaws and selfish tendencies when you look at me, you don't actually love ME, you love this goddess that doesn't actually exist and that's way to much pressure to bring into a marriage and expect me to lice with forever.

what i did, and what i believe is the best thing for anyone to do, is to ditch your virginity with a more sexually experienced friend who cares about you and is clean, because they're patient enough to go a few rounds so you get the basics, but there's an understanding going in that you're just having sex and it's not weird later. then you know what to expect, you have an idea of what you're doing, and if you then want to stop until marriage you at least won't be a sad little spectacle on the wedding night. but i find that as long as you practice safe sex there is absolutely no reason to deny yourself sex when you want it. that's just unhealthy.

that be your opinion there laddy
don't brush them off as unhealthy
accept their differences

isn't this a forum for sharing opinions? and by saying "what i believe is the best thing," i made it pretty clear that this was my opinion. so i don't understand the point to your post. i can probably find studies backed by science that would add some facts to my side, but nobody asked for science, the OP asked for opinions. and i notice that you didn't really share yours, you just observed that i shared mine. care to expand on your post?

didnt mean to offend, yours was just kinda broad,
and lacked some words that signified opinion

thats about it sorry if i angered you man

if you'd angered me i wouldn't have responded. though if you keep calling me a man i might get a bit miffed. most men don't refer to themselves as women or goddesses, or put "miss" in their usernames. don't comment on posts you don't read if you don't want to anger people.