Poll: My Love Triangle Help!!!

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UpSkirtDistress

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steveo_justice said:
That's "Astute."

I'm the kind of guy that sits in my underground doom bunker all day and thinks of survival plans while not installing miniguns and gas turbine engines into my car, so I'd pretend this is a choose your own adventure book and develop a contingency plan.

The worst choice here is to choose one definitively over the other, as you seem to suggest is the only option, as that would give you a 50/50 chance of hitting it off great or being all by your lonesome at square 1 if you botch anything. Breaking up with your current girl would produce this effect, as the rejection would ruin any future chance you have with her.

I would continue to see your original girl, and if it works out, then hey, you made the right choice. But it would also be wise to stay close to Girl #2, just close enough to keep her in a state of interest, so that if at any point you botch your relationship with Girl #1 you can fall back on #2.

Furthermore, if you later choose #2 over #1, you should be sure to break up with #1 under harsh, stressful circumstances not connected to your relationship, so that if you decide you want to to get back with #1 after hooking up with #2 you have some material to bullshit your way back into her life with. "I lost my job and my dog died and I was addicted to Heroine pity me!" will do a lot more for your chances than "Yeah so the sex got boring."

If you're really slick, you can just marry each one and then move to Indonesia.
Your post is highly constructive and well thought out. (Beats the your an asshole posts,if someone knew the full story and wishes to say so that would be a different matter) I think your right i'm just feeling weird bout being in such a long relationship if its meant to be its meant to be only time will tell.
 

l33ticarus

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Stay with your current girlfriend... I had this same problem... And I ended up going with the other girl... those feelings I had for her... well she just wanted to see who she can date and who she can't date... The old girl I kinda with I could still have her now... I regret it everyday...
 

Marble Dragon

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ThrobbingEgo said:
Marble Dragon said:
Could you figure it out? Think of your current girlfriend. Picture her in your mind, in remarkable detail. Even put her normal outfit, jewelry, makeup, ect. onto that mental image. Now picture what she'll go through if out of the blue, you tell her that you've dumped her for some other girl that you met two years ago.
You think it's any better if you dump her for her? At least if you're leaving her, you're the douche. If you're dumping her for her - you're rejecting her. I'd argue that's much more painful - when the person who hurts you isn't the bad guy.
I suppose you have a point. Even if he had dumped her only because he knew that he was having thoughts about other girls and he didn't think that he could be good enough to her, it would seem like he was simply rejecting her.

Okay, that's one more hour I'm going to be sitting around, thinking about this thread.
 

ThrobbingEgo

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Marble Dragon said:
]I suppose you have a point. Even if he had dumped her only because he knew that he was having thoughts about other girls and he didn't think that he could be good enough to her, it would seem like he was simply rejecting her.

Okay, that's one more hour I'm going to be sitting around, thinking about this thread.
When I dumped my ex, for the right reasons, she still got hurt.
 

MBFCPresident

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Stick with your girlfriend, dude. You love her and she loves you and if you want it to stay that way, you're gonna have to forget about being with that other chick. Yes, she has qualities your girlfriend doesn't but that's not what love is about. It's not like you?re on a used car lot saying "Yeah, this car has great safety features, lots of room and is a great deal at this price, but I want that one with the flames!" If you love someone, you have to love everything about them. You can't have a perfect life; you have to take the bitter with the sweet. I don't know you, bro but I can tell you're a nice guy and you clearly want to do the right thing. But in order to do that, you have to think about everyone involved. Yes, this girl has feelings for you and you have feelings for her, but if you base your life solely on feelings hardly anything?s gonna work out. She's a great friend, and that's a role she can fill without compromising your relationship with your girlfriend. Not to mention that since you've been with this girl previously and it didn't work out exactly the way you wanted, there's no guarantee that it'll work this time. If you leave the woman you love you may never be able to retain a relationship with her as a friend. It takes more than duct tape to mend a broken heart. Leave your girlfriend and you'll be throwing away everything you two had. All the days spent sharing laughs will turn into empty "How you been?"s every time you see her, all the nights you fell asleep in each others arms will make your bed feel cold in the middle of summer, every single "I love you" will be remembered as nothing more than a hollow, cowardly lie. What I'm trying to say is could you live with yourself? Think about it.
 

Kinguendo

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Man, that was almost the weirdest thing I have ever read. The part where you are talking about being really close and in each others families and stuff... I had to do a double take... Probably my fault, its 4:00am and I am bloody tired!
 

Marble Dragon

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ThrobbingEgo said:
Marble Dragon said:
]I suppose you have a point. Even if he had dumped her only because he knew that he was having thoughts about other girls and he didn't think that he could be good enough to her, it would seem like he was simply rejecting her.

Okay, that's one more hour I'm going to be sitting around, thinking about this thread.
When I dumped my ex, for the right reasons, she still got hurt.
The fact that you have actual experience in things like this makes your argument slightly more valid, I will admit. I'm a girl, but then, I'm not 19 years old, so I wouldn't know the kind of thoughts his particular girlfriend would have. I guess it's sort of stupid to even try to think up a really good solution without every fact about every girl. Since we don't know his girlfriend's personality, we don't know how she would react to anything, and nobody can really say what's a good move when it comes to her. We don't know the full stories behind everyone either, so now that I look back on it, it seems a little stupid of me to even post on this thread. (Especially with notable lack of experience in romance and everything related.)
 

UpSkirtDistress

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Evil Jak said:
Man, that was almost the weirdest thing I have ever read. The part where you are talking about being really close and in each others families and stuff... I had to do a double take... Probably my fault, its 4:00am and I am bloody tired!
Weird how? (i'm up too insomnia it sucks ass)
 

letsnoobtehpwns

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I'll give you advice, don't come to the Escapist for relationship help. This is a gaming website, most guys here aren't what you would call a playa.
 

Dahemo

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You have to be honest with both of them. first, talk to your girlfriend, tell her how you feel, and remind her how you feel about your current relationship, you have responsibilities to her primarily as your girlfriend. If she understands, you have a great girlfriend, respect her wishes, especially if she asks you to cut back on talking to the other girl, which probably isn't helping how you feel. If she understands and trusts you to behave without any change, you have an exceptional girlfriend, and should be punished should you ever betray her. Talk to this other girl and explain how you feel, let her know the situation and I'm sure she'll understand that you already have a girlfriend and need to focus on her.

This could go another way though, and your girlfriend dumps you, in which case you could try with this other girl, but at least have the decency to wait until the bed is cold. I've found in the past that honesty is the best policy, and while it is often hard and can cause blazing rows, the phone call the next day, and the honesty in that, will define your relationship...
 

ThrobbingEgo

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UpSkirtDistress said:
steveo_justice said:
Furthermore, if you later choose #2 over #1, you should be sure to break up with #1 under harsh, stressful circumstances not connected to your relationship, so that if you decide you want to to get back with #1 after hooking up with #2 you have some material to bullshit your way back into her life with. "I lost my job and my dog died and I was addicted to Heroine pity me!" will do a lot more for your chances than "Yeah so the sex got boring."

If you're really slick, you can just marry each one and then move to Indonesia.
Your post is highly constructive and well thought out. (Beats the your an asshole posts,if someone knew the full story and wishes to say so that would be a different matter) I think your right i'm just feeling weird bout being in such a long relationship if its meant to be its meant to be only time will tell.
Don't think I didn't think of just staying with my ex, waiting for things to blow up. I moved away for school, my parents were having issues, times were rocky - but that wasn't the reason broke up with her. And I owed her - someone I thought I loved, acted like I loved - better than a lie.

Sure, it seems the easy way out, but it's dishonest - in a bad way. If you're going to break up, take it like an adult.

Also, man, I don't think you're an asshole. I'm just trying to give good advice.
 

Kinguendo

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UpSkirtDistress said:
Evil Jak said:
Man, that was almost the weirdest thing I have ever read. The part where you are talking about being really close and in each others families and stuff... I had to do a double take... Probably my fault, its 4:00am and I am bloody tired!
Weird how? (i'm up too insomnia it sucks ass)

The part about being in each others families would appear that you are rekated if you do a quick scan of the text... hence the double take... although, in Britain it is technically legal to marry your first cousin... I dont advise it but its not illegal... but yeah, i took a double take and that is why it was nearly the weirdest thing I have ever read.
 

ThrobbingEgo

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Marble Dragon said:
Since we don't know his girlfriend's personality, we don't know how she would react to anything,)
Of course we don't. But it still hurts, even when you're in the right.

Back on track: I think, regardless of the consequences, you have to decide what type of person you want to be. It's so easy to be a scumbag - it takes no effort - but if you want to be someone worth respecting, a "good" person, you're going to have to make hard decisions.

You can only do what you can live with.
 

UpSkirtDistress

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Evil Jak said:
UpSkirtDistress said:
Evil Jak said:
Man, that was almost the weirdest thing I have ever read. The part where you are talking about being really close and in each others families and stuff... I had to do a double take... Probably my fault, its 4:00am and I am bloody tired!
Weird how? (i'm up too insomnia it sucks ass)

The part about being in each others families would appear that you are rekated if you do a quick scan of the text... hence the double take... although, in Britain it is technically legal to marry your first cousin... I dont advise it but its not illegal... but yeah, i took a double take and that is why it was nearly the weirdest thing I have ever read.
"We get on great ,we are like part of each others families." thats copied and pasted from the original post. i said "like part" as in practically. We are not related ,not in the slightest i'm an Irish Suburbian not a country farmer.
 

Kinguendo

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UpSkirtDistress said:
Evil Jak said:
UpSkirtDistress said:
Evil Jak said:
Man, that was almost the weirdest thing I have ever read. The part where you are talking about being really close and in each others families and stuff... I had to do a double take... Probably my fault, its 4:00am and I am bloody tired!
Weird how? (i'm up too insomnia it sucks ass)

The part about being in each others families would appear that you are rekated if you do a quick scan of the text... hence the double take... although, in Britain it is technically legal to marry your first cousin... I dont advise it but its not illegal... but yeah, i took a double take and that is why it was nearly the weirdest thing I have ever read.
"We get on great ,we are like part of each others families." thats copied and pasted from the original post. i said "like part" as in practically. We are not related ,not in the slightest i'm an Irish Suburbian not a country farmer.
Like I said I had to do a double take, its was ALMOST the weirdest thing I had ever read and I am bloody tired! LEAVE ME BE, I want to sleep and no one is dating their cousins!