Poll: No children: a turn-off?

[Daffy F]

Hiya escapists.

Hi.
Couple of things.
1. I love your avatar
2. I want children, so I guess if I felt it was going to be a serious long-term thing, I might reconsider, or at least talk to them about it, maybe try to gauge whether they were strongly convicted or whether they could be convinced to have them. Of course, since I'm a man I might have an odd view on this, but as far as I can see it is slightly unusual amongst men my age to actually want children.
3. I love you avatar
4. Congratulations on the Neo (I couldn't even make it to morpheus without getting put on probation ^.^)

 

[theriddlen]

Well, I used to hate kids, but I really started to like them recently. If a woman doesn't want to ever have children, it wouldn't be a turn-off, because most likely she will start to want to have children in the future.

 

[Lilani]

-snip-

I'm really not sure if it would bother me right now. I'm not in a relationship at the moment, and nor am I at a point in my life that I'd be able to raise a child without a LOT of help. And even so, I'm not fully sure if I want kids myself. Though the prospect of never having the financial burden or lack of time children cause seem nice, I'm not sure how I'll feel 10 years down the road when I am (hopefully) in a better financial, professional, and romantic position in my life.

 

[Jonluw]

Hiya escapists.

Hi.
Couple of things.
1. I love your avatar

Thanks. [user]darth.pixie[/user] made it for me.

2. I want children,

Are you trying to imply something?

I'm a man

Never mind.

4. Congratulations on the Neo (I couldn't even make it to morpheus without getting put on probation ^.^)

Thanks. I actually managed to get myself into a bit of a flame-battle when I was at 4990 posts. That was scary.

But yeah, I don't think it's that unusual to want children. It's just the escapist community being the escapist community.

Bloody hell it took me long to reply to this. Everything's broken because of the new layout. My connection's been timing out all evening.

 

[Chemical Alia]

I would find it difficult to date someone who wants children. At my age, many people who wanted kids already have them or want them soon. Having and being expected to raise children would hinder my career and personal ambitions, and it's not something I ever desired in the first place.

 

[Lev The Red]

if we're not talking marriage, then no. i, however, DO want to have kids, so i probably couldn't marry someone who doesn't.

 

[Kaymish]

i dont like or want children so i am perfectly fine with a semi long term relationship partner not wonting children and even if that was not the case it would make zero difference any since its never going to have any bearing on the relation ship

 

[Tommeh Brownleh]

You kidding me? Someone else who doesn't want to help with overpopulation? I'm in!

 

[babinro]

Voted Gents: Yes, it would.

I do not want children. Unfortunately a woman who already has a child or wants a child is a deal breaker for me. Sorry single moms, kids aren't my thing and it would be unfair to fake my interest in your young ones.

 

[Smurf McSmurfington]

It'd be more of a turn-on than a turn-off, seeing as I despise the very idea of ever having children.

 

[Captainguy42]

I've always wanted to raise children when I'm older, there's a part of me that looks forward to playing games with my kids and being a father. It wouldn't stop me from pursuing a relationship with someone, but it would stop me from getting too serious.

 

[PH3NOmenon]

Eventually, I want kids. I strongly feel that producing spawn is something we "should do", call it religious or whatever you want. Therefore, any woman who fervently does *not* want children will not be one I end up with. That means that any "liaison" we would ever have, would be nothing more than a casual fling. Casual flings are great, but they're not relationships. so yes, it would affect my desire greatly.


Small anecdote that ties in very well. Talking with friends after class, the topic of kids came up. One gorgeous blonde was adamant that she didn't want kids ever. She instantly got relegated into my "friend-zone". Would I take her on a weekend trip to a log cabin? Sure, sounds like a steamy good time. Would I make any kind of effort to start a relationship with her? No, what'd be the point? Eventually, that relationship would collapse if she was really adamant about remaining childless. It surprised me how much less attractive she appeared to me after uttering that sentence. Still as pretty, sure, but a lot less attractive.



Also, I feel a lot of dudes are picking the "no, it wouldn't affect me." option without thinking. If you're still young and think that someone who prefers to remain childless is a better choice for a relationship than someone who would eventually want kids then your answer needs to be "yes, it would affect me." It'd affect you in a positive way.

 

[JaceArveduin]

I'm the one that's going to say the whole "No, I don't want children" line, so no, not a turn off, in fact, I'd prolly make that a plus.

 

[deleted_by_strongbad]

I put no it wouldn't, but they would have to be ok with the fact that I've got two already, otherwise it'd be a non-starter. As this is not expected to go the distance they would not be involved in either's life so they don't have to be a surrogate mother or anything, but so long as they are cool with my having kids and them taking priority over anything else, then sure I don't care if she doesn't want kids.

 

[CrystalShadow]

Ehm... Considering there's a large chance I can't have children, even if I wanted them, it'd be rather pointless complaining about my partner not wanting them.

If anything, I'm more likely to run into the problem of being in a relationship with someone that might want kids, and then having to face up to the fact that I can't provide that for them...

But then, that's just one more complication on a long list of things that could put someone off starting a relationship with me...

 

[OldNewNewOld]

All I have to say is FUCK THAT SHIT! I eventually want to have kids and could not see myself dating somebody who did not. I also could not see myself dating something that I didnt think I would be with in a year or two. If something is not going to last then what is the point in continueing on with it. The kids thing isnt a major dealbreaker though because people do change their mind and if they dont well "accidents" can happen.


Since somebody reminded me I should mention it again since you havnt been told this enough the the escapist is well known to be a den of child hating bastards so that may skew your poll by a not so insignificant amount.

Your life isn't going to last, so what's the point of continuing with it?
Can't you just enjoy the present and not always thing about the fat future?

@Topic
It wouldn't affect me at all. I live in the present. It's nice to think about the future, but if I'm always thinking about the future, I will never enjoy the present. I will enjoy my time with that person until it just doesn't work anymore. You never know, people change, maybe you change and don't want children or that person changes and wants them.

 

[Zen Toombs]

Well, according to the poll I seem to be in the minority. For me, if the lady/gent that I was with didn't want to have any kids - either through biological processes, adoption or both - it would be difficult for me to continue the relationship.
That is not to say that it would destroy any chance of the two of us being together, it just hurts our chances. Children is one of those issues that if the two people in a relationship are not on the same wavelength, problems ensue.

 

[Gralian]

Post deleted

 

[-Dragmire-]

I want to have kids (at least one) eventually so I'd have a hard time taking a relationship further with someone who was dead set against it.

 

[Zack Alklazaris]

My results are little skewed because I am not ready for children and as of this moment I really don't ever want one. Maybe that will change in the future, but right now I'm perfectly fine having lots of money and lots of time to spend it.