Poll: Oh No! You've Been Bitten by a Zombie!

[Simalacrum]

I would instantly and immediately start...

...dancing!

 

[ThatLankyBastard]

When I get bit by zombies, I don't turn into a zombie...

...the zombies turn into me!

OP:Realistically, I'd just kill myself by jumping off something really high...

Shooting is waaay too mainstream for me! Besides, I've always wanted to jump off something really high... I wonder what it's like right before you hit the ground...

Edit: Oh! I almost forgot!

Fap... Fap like theres no tomorrow!!!!

 

[Angry_squirrel]

I like to think I'd kill myself, but put in the situation I don't know if I could

 

[mcmann12]

40.8 percent of the poller are liars.
I would donate myself to science.

 

[alithanar8]

other, I choose to set myself up with a guillotine and a friend nearby with an airtight shatterproof clear jar, so the moment I change my head is lopped off he can put my head in a jar to pull out at weddings, funerals, family gatherings, child birthday parties, ect.

 

[mitaka7730]

1.get a Katana,
2.go all ninja like on the zombies,
3.when the time comes,either SEPUKO or,hey,everyone's a zombie,why can't I? though maybe i'd feel bad about killing so much of my new palls.. oh well.

 

[WolfThomas]

Kill zombie, immediately tourniquet arm, so tight I'll probably lose it. Find safe place, remove arm if possible and cauterize the wound. Cannulate self and set up some IV fluids, take a large dose of anti-virals, anti-biotics and hell even anti-fungals. Who knows what is causing the plague? Set everything up. Handcuff to radiator, take a dose of sedatives and drift away to sleep.

If I'm lucky. One of the steps prior will have prevented me turning. It is actually possible to surive end stage Rabies by replacing fluids, using anti-virals and sedating the patient (look up the Milawaukee protocols). If I'm unfortunate, I've passed painlessly and I'm not much of a threat to other surivors.

Best case scenario not only do I surive but my anti-bodies help scientists develop a cure.

 

[Hipsy_Gypsy]

Other:

What sort of zombies are we talking here?

Airborne mutagenic virus zombies, a la Resident Evil movies? If this is the case then the fact that I survived the initial infection suggests that I have an immunity to the zombie virus. If you are immune to smallpox it doesn't matter whether you breathe it in, drink it or someone with smallpox bites you, you won't get it, despite some methods being obviously more alarming than others. If this is the case then I still need to go to a hospital because the necrotised flesh of the zombie, plus the diseases in the mouth mean that I'd need to be careful of infection from normal viruses, but not the zombie virus.

Traditional West Indies zombie, as animated by a bokor? If this is the case then as long as the bite doesn't kill me I don't have to worry (see above for dealing with normal infection) A bokor can only reanimate the dead, and the curse doesn't spread at all.

Infection spread solely through bites? Again, there's always a chance of immunity, but still, it's about what I can afford to lose to survive a zombie apocalypse. Losing one arm is fine because I can still hold, fire and load a pistol one handed, plus opening doors, eating and other concerns, but losing a leg presents more of a problem, because then I have to think about getting around the place. Probably if it came to that I'd amputate the leg as fast as possible, then see if survival still looked likely (probably by holing up somewhere well fortified and waiting for the military to roll in)

The only reason zombie movies have any elements of horror to them are a combination of Hollywood science and mass holding of the idiot ball. A basic understanding of viruses lets you know whether you have the potential for immunity or not, and after that any knowledge of field medicine and weapon handling and you'd be basically completely okay unless you got surrounded.

And if the Hollywood science really had come to life and animated these zombies, then I'd still hang on. Having been alive while everyone else was becoming a zombie would have given me a chance to see what the transformation process looked like, so I'd know whether I was undergoing it, and would probably kill myself. If there were no symptoms except just keeling over dead one second and raising the next, then at least I probably wouldn't be self aware anymore, so I'm as good as dead anyway.

Applying science to zombie settings never goes well.

You just reminded me there of Tarman from the first Return of the Living Dead film. He bit a chunk out of one of the characters' scalps as if it were an apple and that character was just dead, dead. Mind you, that could have just been laziness/forgetfulness on the writer/director's part, hah.


x

 

[Adam28]

If I can, I would try and cut off my arm and hope the virus hasn't spread fast enough.

If not, I would fight to the death and pray that I am immune to the virus. I also like the idea someone else mentioned about having the group chaining me down and removing my teeth so I can become a test subject.

 

[WOPR]

Disaster strikes! As you're fighting off those creepy zombies (cookie for reference) you get bitten on the arm and the end of your time as a human draws all the nearer. The question is, how do you react to this plot twist in life?

ironically enough, the captcha for this reads "bitter end"

edit: this kinda reminds me of an idea i had for the zombie apocalypse, i'd make bullets... out of zombie teeth! i'd probably never use them but they'd be great for threatening people and disposing of really bad guys without guilt and best of all, making people lead me to any known cure

I'm becoming a zombie?
QUICK! LEGALLY CHANGE MY NAME TO "Stubbs" or "Sonny" or "Nemesis" and hope I become an awesome zombie and not a lame one!

...then commit cannibalism en mass

 

[Zaverexus]

Crud.
Fight for as long as I can before pulling the trigger.
And what an awesome fight it would be without having to care about further bites.

 

[Diablo2000]

Infect other people of my surviving group, then we can be a happy zombie family...
Yes, even the "zombie me" is 100% internet troll.

 

[Hexenwolf]

Disaster strikes! As you're fighting off those creepy zombies (cookie for reference) you get bitten on the arm and the end of your time as a human draws all the nearer. The question is, how do you react to this plot twist in life?

ironically enough, the captcha for this reads "bitter end"

edit: this kinda reminds me of an idea i had for the zombie apocalypse, i'd make bullets... out of zombie teeth! i'd probably never use them but they'd be great for threatening people and disposing of really bad guys without guilt and best of all, making people lead me to any known cure

Where's the "Go out in a blaze of glory, killing hundreds of zombies with absolutely no heed to your own safety" option?!?

 

[Vilhjalmir]

It's awesome to see so many like-minded ex-survivors out there! If (WHEN) zombies do rise, the final zombie that I take down...will be me. Its a matter of HONOR! I would not have my friends or family bear the burden of disposing of me! I wouldn't just shoot myself though, why not be a little proactive. I would grab a grenade/pipebomb/dynamite/etc. and give my group a little breathing room from the massive hordes. I'd probably run off singing something random (Live and Let Die seems fitting) into a megaphone, to grab more zombies closer to me and it makes an interesting tale for the other survivors out there. When I can't run any longer, pull the pin and run on in. Good luck to the rest of you out there!

 

[Biosophilogical]

I'm going to jump from the tallest building available. WEEEEEEEEEEE!

Though I think if you can't risk further infection it would be a good time to check if zombies retain any of their self-awareness from their human days. I mean, if there aren't any survivors nearby, then being a zombie won't exactly cause anyone any harm, and if you are still aware of yourself as a zombie, just with a brains addiction, then you could go on living(?), maybe even hang out with your friends that were zombified near the beginning.

Then again, if you can't open up communication, head-meet-pavement seems like a good idea, though I'd like to think I'd have some form of zombie-trap I could throw myself into (like a room that you can enter, but without knowing the exit-command or lever or whatever it will kill you if you try and leave, meaning that if I'm still me as a zombie, I can decide to live or not, and if I'm not me, then I either die or sit around for all eternity).

 

[proctorninja2]

first i wonder how a zombie got into my bathroom without me knowing second deal with said zombie then Seppuku with my katana infront of my imperial Japanese naval flag and i mean the whole ritual

 

[Mr.Numbers]

Obviously the only cure is to bite the zombie that bit you!

Actually I know a lot of people at the CSIRO wh specialize in diseases and genetics.

Mixamytosis and all that.

I'd be a living petri dish for them!

 

[furmaster3000]

...then commit cannibalism en mass

commit Mass? you lot gonna start a zombie religioun or something, cause if so, I'm in!

 

[OneOfTheMichael's]

Disaster strikes! As you're fighting off those creepy zombies (cookie for reference) you get bitten on the arm and the end of your time as a human draws all the nearer. The question is, how do you react to this plot twist in life?

ironically enough, the captcha for this reads "bitter end"

edit: this kinda reminds me of an idea i had for the zombie apocalypse, i'd make bullets... out of zombie teeth! i'd probably never use them but they'd be great for threatening people and disposing of really bad guys without guilt and best of all, making people lead me to any known cure

You forgot another great suggestion for the poll.
"You know you're gonna die anyways so,
see how many of those undead bastards you can kill before you die."
Thats would I would do.

 

[littlealicewhite]

My zombie plan is to commit suicide, even if I don't get bitten. I have a paralyzing fear of zombies, I'd be useless in a combat situation. My friends and family know to kill me if I can't do it myself and are free to use my body as a distraction afterwards.