Actually, I believe telemarketers are paid on a per-call basis, even if they don't actually sell anything. I also think their pay depends on how long they keep you on the line. So wouldn't it be better for them if someone did do all these pranks than not answer the phone at all? I mean, at least that way they are getting paid.Pariah87 said:
Poll: Screwing with telemarketers
- Thread starter QXR2
- Start date
Recommended Videos
Every time I get a live one it's obligatory to mess with them.
My proudest moment was when I had friends over a few years ago, got a telemarketer a very nice woman named cindy or something, I grabbed a blank firing gun and everyone started screaming "Help we're hostages, call the police" you know the usual and I yelled I was gonna kill them and started shooting. The poor girl didnt know what to do and started crying, I told her she got them killed and everything. So cruel but worth every second of it.
My proudest moment was when I had friends over a few years ago, got a telemarketer a very nice woman named cindy or something, I grabbed a blank firing gun and everyone started screaming "Help we're hostages, call the police" you know the usual and I yelled I was gonna kill them and started shooting. The poor girl didnt know what to do and started crying, I told her she got them killed and everything. So cruel but worth every second of it.
Well I won't feel sorry nor ashamed the next time they ring up. They deserve the abuse they get. We get them all the time trying to peddle their wares, I even get them at my work every 2-3 days asking about our phone and internet plans. It's redonculous. 
One question to justify;
What is your telemarketing company doing with my number? If im on a DO NOT FUCKING CALL LIST, you DO NOT FUCKING CALL!
One question to justify;
What is your telemarketing company doing with my number? If im on a DO NOT FUCKING CALL LIST, you DO NOT FUCKING CALL!
Did this. It's awesome. He called me back a bunch of times because I eventually felt bad for him and told him I had to go to work. He was on the phone for a couple of hours. I finished Halo 3 while he was on speaker on the coffee table.icame said:
Edit: Reading this back it sounds horrible, I left him on speaker after he called back a bunch of times. I did initially tell him I wasn't interested but he wouldn't listen, that's when I took him for a ride.
I try to get the numbers of the person calling me. Who knows? Maybe I'll make a new friend.
Assuming its not a machine...
Assuming its not a machine...
I get the telemarketers that talk to you about local events before they sell you stuff every now and then.
I live in australia, so it's common for them to say "How good was that rugby/cricket/AFL score eh?", despite them being quite clearly from india.
To screw with them I speak in german back asking them what they are on about, usually this leads to them failing to do anything, but a few times I've actually had them switch to german and tell me about local events in berlin. I must get the alpha telemarketers or something.
I live in australia, so it's common for them to say "How good was that rugby/cricket/AFL score eh?", despite them being quite clearly from india.
To screw with them I speak in german back asking them what they are on about, usually this leads to them failing to do anything, but a few times I've actually had them switch to german and tell me about local events in berlin. I must get the alpha telemarketers or something.
I always politely interrupted them and told them that I was not interested in whatever they were selling, which usually ends up in a nice thank you have a nice day. It's the morons who continue to try to sell you the product. Thats when I snap and the hatred I have been repressing for years of just about everything is let off its leash.
I usually lack the patience to do so, but my cousin has made it look like an art form. He had one on the phone for two hours once, with me trying to stifle my laughter the whole time.
Every time. Even though its pretty rare nowadays to even get called up. Usually i'd just say that I'm interested in whatever they have to sell and ask them for a minute to finish up what I'm doing (usually something related to cooking to sound plausible). Then I'd put the phone down on a table and check back in 3 minutes to see if they'd hung up yet.
The ONLY way to efficiently fuck telemarketers is to either not pick up or immediately hang up.
See, it's like advertising, ANY time spent putting ideas in your head is valuable to them and they will keep pushing it. There is no such thing as bad publicity, you can shout, you can scream, you can fuck with them for hours but the telemarketers are happy because the ONE THING they fear more than anything else is to be unnoticed.
They'd rather have you know about their product/service and hate them/it than have you not know anything about it. That's just the way it is.
Not to sure about leaving the phone off the hook with them shouting to the air, it wastes their time and money but it also blocks up your own line or at least inconveniences taking another call. It will probably just tempt them to keep persisting.
A sound fuck off and don't pick up any call for 15 minutes.
See, it's like advertising, ANY time spent putting ideas in your head is valuable to them and they will keep pushing it. There is no such thing as bad publicity, you can shout, you can scream, you can fuck with them for hours but the telemarketers are happy because the ONE THING they fear more than anything else is to be unnoticed.
They'd rather have you know about their product/service and hate them/it than have you not know anything about it. That's just the way it is.
Not to sure about leaving the phone off the hook with them shouting to the air, it wastes their time and money but it also blocks up your own line or at least inconveniences taking another call. It will probably just tempt them to keep persisting.
A sound fuck off and don't pick up any call for 15 minutes.
I usually just hang up without a word, but once I told a telemarketer asking for my dad that he'd been in a horrible accident and may never be able to answer the phone again.
A serious tip, along with the above 'lie about your income' if they think you're unemployed with no money, they may even take you off the list completely.
I get a few calls with people trying to make me switch my internet, and one was from TalkTalk, the Carphone Warehouse, and when he said it I actually laughed spontaenously down the phone, and had to recover and say..'sha..sorry, carphone warehouse..and internet...no thank you.' As I knew of the 'quality' of their service. (Lets just say they took over AOL in the UK and managed to make AOL WORSE)
I often just take great pleasure in telling them the truth when they say' and how much do you pay for your internet?' telling them, about £6 a month for unlimited 8mb, and they just give up, honestly, at least half just go 'ohh..ok..well, thanks for your time.' with the others rying to sell me a worse service for more money, there's optimism.
So, I've started using the same tactic for all calls like that 'How much do you pay for your home insurance 'Oh £3 a month' 'what are your quarterly energy bills currently 'oh I pay about £20 a quarter all in' and they generally piss off, knowing they're not going to profit from me.
In the end tho, it's a recession, and they're stuck in a crappy job taking abuse all day, and I'd rather not pile on the misery, just instead making it clear I'm of no use to them or their shitty company.
If only more people had the common sense to think 'hey, if I need any service or product ever, I can go shop around and find a good deal for me, instead of waiting for some muppet to sell me one.', if that happened we'd not have telemarketers.
I get a few calls with people trying to make me switch my internet, and one was from TalkTalk, the Carphone Warehouse, and when he said it I actually laughed spontaenously down the phone, and had to recover and say..'sha..sorry, carphone warehouse..and internet...no thank you.' As I knew of the 'quality' of their service. (Lets just say they took over AOL in the UK and managed to make AOL WORSE)
I often just take great pleasure in telling them the truth when they say' and how much do you pay for your internet?' telling them, about £6 a month for unlimited 8mb, and they just give up, honestly, at least half just go 'ohh..ok..well, thanks for your time.' with the others rying to sell me a worse service for more money, there's optimism.
So, I've started using the same tactic for all calls like that 'How much do you pay for your home insurance 'Oh £3 a month' 'what are your quarterly energy bills currently 'oh I pay about £20 a quarter all in' and they generally piss off, knowing they're not going to profit from me.
In the end tho, it's a recession, and they're stuck in a crappy job taking abuse all day, and I'd rather not pile on the misery, just instead making it clear I'm of no use to them or their shitty company.
If only more people had the common sense to think 'hey, if I need any service or product ever, I can go shop around and find a good deal for me, instead of waiting for some muppet to sell me one.', if that happened we'd not have telemarketers.