Poll: Screwing with telemarketers

[Naheal]

I have to put this in all caps just so the 'tard who do this will see it.

I USED TO DO TELEMARKETING TO FEED MY FAMILY OR THEY WOULD STARVE IN THE PAST. I HATED EVERY MINUTE OF THAT JOB AS MANY OTHER PEOPLE DO WHO DO WORKED THERE. I QUIT AS SOON AS I COULD AND WHILE YOU PUT UP WITH A PHONE CALL TO MESS WITH THEM, YOU AT MOST WASTED FIVE MINUTES. TRY BEING THEM FOR EIGHT HOURS DEALING WITH SHITHEADS WHO DON'T HAVE ANYTHING TO DO BUT MAKE YOUR JOB HARDER.

I'm not saying hear them out, I hardly ever do but please understand that they are doing something that most of you probably aren't doing (I am not saying ALL, just those assholes who think this crap is funny.) and that is working instead of leeching money from their parents. Way to make them proud, now grow the hell up.

The duck has a point. I've done inbound collections, myself. It's rare for the folks on the other line to either A) care about your problems or B) care about the product. If it's an unwelcome call, just ask them to take you off their calling list. Trust me, it works.

 

[Arachon]

I can't believe someone hasn't posted this already:


Also, I don't get calls form telemarketer, they're not allowed to have my number.

 

[deonte9109]

I mess with them all the time. Once I pretended that they were calling a murder scene and asked the guy was he the gay lover the man killed. Needless to say I dont get calls anymore.

 

[RedDeadFred]

I usually just stand there wondering how the telemarketer got my cell phone number. It really pisses me off. I usually just tell them no in a pissed off tone.

Seriously! How did they get my number? None of my family or friends get telemarketers on their cell phones. Are they lucky or am I the only one?

 

[Mr Montmorency]

I hang up. Why bother fucking with a script?

Script? This is improv, son.

I did used to get these calls, but I was young and stupid enough to break character and start laughing.
If only I had the chance to redeem myself...

No, they're the ones with the script. Pranking ability is very minimal when they'll just repeat what they said last time.

 

[superbatranger]

I've never had to deal with the lot. Lucky me?

 

[Sacman]

I did once... I put him on hold and put him the line with one of those sex hot lines...

 

[Betancore]

I only ever answer my own phone, so I rarely pick up when a telemarketer calls. I'm usually pretty polite to them, though. If they start getting annoying then I just tell them I'm 15 and I can't help them.

I've always wanted to do this, though.

 

[bew11]

HOW TO HANDLE TELEMARKETERS:
1. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money.
2. If they start out with, "How are you today?" say, "Why do you want to know?" Alternately, you can tell them, "I'm so glad you asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems; my arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my fish just died..." When they try to get to the sell, just keep talking about your problems.
3. If they say they're John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is located. Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their company for as long as necessary.
4. This works great if you are male Telemarketer: "Hi, my name is Judy and I'm with XYZ Company..." You: Wait for a second and with a real husky voice ask, "What are you wearing?"
5. Cry out in surprise, "Judy! Is that you? Oh my God! Judy, how have you been?" Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of terror as she tries to figure out where she could know you from.
6. Say "No", over and over. Be sure to vary the sound of each one, and keep a rhythmic tempo, even as they are trying to speak. This is most fun if you can do it until they hang up.
7. If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up for the Family and Friends Plan, reply, in as SINISTER a voice as you can, "I don't have any friends...would you be my friend?"
8. If the company cleans rugs, respond: "Can you get out blood? Can you get out GOAT blood? How about HUMAN blood?
9. After the Telemarketer gives their spiel, ask him/her to marry you. When they get all flustered, tell them that you could not just give your credit card number to a complete stranger.
10. Tell the Telemarketer that you work for the same company, they often can't sell to employees.
11. Answer the phone. As soon as you realize it is a Telemarketer, set the receiver down, shout or scream "Oh my God!!!" and then hang up.
12. Tell the Telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask them if they will give you their HOME phone number so you can call them back. When the Telemarketer explains that they cannot give out their HOME number, you say "I guess you don't want anyone bothering you at home, right?" The Telemarketer will agree and you say, "Now you know how I feel!" Hang up.
13. Ask them to repeat everything they say, several times.
14. Tell them it is dinner time, BUT ask if they would please hold. Put them on your speaker phone while you continue to eat at your leisure. Smack your food loudly and continue with your dinner conversation.
15. Tell the Telemarketer you are on "home incarceration" and ask if they could bring you some groceries......
16. Ask them to fax the information to you, and make up a number.
17. Tell the Telemarketer, "Okay, I will listen to you. But I should probably tell you, I'm not wearing any clothes."
18. Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke."Come on Leon, cut it out! Seriously, Leon, how's your momma?"
19. Tell them you are hard of hearing and that they need to speak up...louder... louder... louder...
20. Tell them to talk VERY SLOWLY, because you want to write EVERY WORD down..........

 

[C95J]

I never get called by telemarketers, but if I did... No.

It's their job, they get paid to do it, and they probably don't like it. I think by messing woth them, you are only making their lives more miserable...

 

[Erana]

I have to put this in all caps just so the 'tard who do this will see it.

I USED TO DO TELEMARKETING TO FEED MY FAMILY OR THEY WOULD STARVE IN THE PAST. I HATED EVERY MINUTE OF THAT JOB AS MANY OTHER PEOPLE DO WHO DO WORKED THERE. I QUIT AS SOON AS I COULD AND WHILE YOU PUT UP WITH A PHONE CALL TO MESS WITH THEM, YOU AT MOST WASTED FIVE MINUTES. TRY BEING THEM FOR EIGHT HOURS DEALING WITH SHITHEADS WHO DON'T HAVE ANYTHING TO DO BUT MAKE YOUR JOB HARDER.

I'm not saying hear them out, I hardly ever do but please understand that they are doing something that most of you probably aren't doing (I am not saying ALL, just those assholes who think this crap is funny.) and that is working instead of leeching money from their parents. Way to make them proud, now grow the hell up.

The idea of messing with a telemarketer is amusing enough, my desire to show graciousness for people doing their jobs overrides an itch for mischief. I just ask, "What is this about?" and upon confirmation that they're telemarketers simply say, "We're not interested."

I do find the guy who pretended to be Gordan Freeman on a radio talkshow entertaining, however.

 

[Girl With One Eye]

I have to put this in all caps just so the 'tard who do this will see it.

I USED TO DO TELEMARKETING TO FEED MY FAMILY OR THEY WOULD STARVE IN THE PAST. I HATED EVERY MINUTE OF THAT JOB AS MANY OTHER PEOPLE DO WHO DO WORKED THERE. I QUIT AS SOON AS I COULD AND WHILE YOU PUT UP WITH A PHONE CALL TO MESS WITH THEM, YOU AT MOST WASTED FIVE MINUTES. TRY BEING THEM FOR EIGHT HOURS DEALING WITH SHITHEADS WHO DON'T HAVE ANYTHING TO DO BUT MAKE YOUR JOB HARDER.

I'm not saying hear them out, I hardly ever do but please understand that they are doing something that most of you probably aren't doing (I am not saying ALL, just those assholes who think this crap is funny.) and that is working instead of leeching money from their parents. Way to make them proud, now grow the hell up.

Thank-you! I currently work in telemarketing and I can honestly say it is a terrible job. But I have to support my mum and I have to EAT! Telemarketers are just ordinary people trying to do a job.

I admit I get annoyed with the machine ones though.

 

[QXR2]

One of the ones my father did was he agreed to answer their questions but for every question they asked he got to ask one in return. The guy agreed but later regretted it.

 

[Ironic Pirate]

I have to put this in all caps just so the 'tard who do this will see it.

I USED TO DO TELEMARKETING TO FEED MY FAMILY OR THEY WOULD STARVE IN THE PAST. I HATED EVERY MINUTE OF THAT JOB AS MANY OTHER PEOPLE DO WHO DO WORKED THERE. I QUIT AS SOON AS I COULD AND WHILE YOU PUT UP WITH A PHONE CALL TO MESS WITH THEM, YOU AT MOST WASTED FIVE MINUTES. TRY BEING THEM FOR EIGHT HOURS DEALING WITH SHITHEADS WHO DON'T HAVE ANYTHING TO DO BUT MAKE YOUR JOB HARDER.

I'm not saying hear them out, I hardly ever do but please understand that they are doing something that most of you probably aren't doing (I am not saying ALL, just those assholes who think this crap is funny.) and that is working instead of leeching money from their parents. Way to make them proud, now grow the hell up.

I tend to be polite with them, because it would probably suck to have that job.

That said, I rarely ever pick up the phone before it goes to machine. If it's someone I want to talk to, I then pick up.

 

[TheGameXXVII]

i don't usually get any calls like that, since i live in the UK, but when i do get one and see the withheld number, i usually think "oh god, let's see what this gentleman is selling", then listen for about 10 seconds before hanging up.

i never have anything good or funny to think of when one calls, but i have an idea for one i may do, where i will speak back to them in Spanish and see how they react...i know, i know, shit idea...but i think it may be funny to hear how they react when i start with "HOLA!"

i do remember when my brother once replied to one by listening to everything they said, then replying with "interesting, but can i take a minute to talk to you about Jesus Christ?", it was hilarious how random it was

 

[Lukeydoodly]

Having a private number ftw I guess. As such, I have no experience.

Good avatar .


OT: I don't even bother. Just put the phone down.

 

[Thyunda]

I have to put this in all caps just so the 'tard who do this will see it.

I USED TO DO TELEMARKETING TO FEED MY FAMILY OR THEY WOULD STARVE IN THE PAST. I HATED EVERY MINUTE OF THAT JOB AS MANY OTHER PEOPLE DO WHO DO WORKED THERE. I QUIT AS SOON AS I COULD AND WHILE YOU PUT UP WITH A PHONE CALL TO MESS WITH THEM, YOU AT MOST WASTED FIVE MINUTES. TRY BEING THEM FOR EIGHT HOURS DEALING WITH SHITHEADS WHO DON'T HAVE ANYTHING TO DO BUT MAKE YOUR JOB HARDER.

I'm not saying hear them out, I hardly ever do but please understand that they are doing something that most of you probably aren't doing (I am not saying ALL, just those assholes who think this crap is funny.) and that is working instead of leeching money from their parents. Way to make them proud, now grow the hell up.

Son, I worked door-to-door sales. At least with a telemarketing job you can just hang up the phone. Ain't no telemarketer had a dog set on them, now, have they?

 

[ssgt splatter]

Some guy was talking about a time share in Orlando and I started blurting nonsense like how my dad my brother my mother my sister and a host of fictional family members had died when a telemarketer called them asking about a time share in Orlando. It was quite funny to hear his response:

"Huh,I'm sorry, wha-, no I didn't. No no sorry sir, no please don't, no don't kill yourself, no."

and then to really freak him out I had set my computer to play a gunshot.

Funny because telemarketers don't call me anymore. Almost miss toying with them.

You are a sick man you know that?
...
...
But that did make me chuckle, good work.

 

[thenumberthirteen]

Never. I've had friends who worked in these companies at hight school. They're just people like you or I trying to do their damn job and earn some money. Have some respect and common courtesy. They get all sorts of hate and abuse for no reason.

 

[LightspeedJack]

My firend speaks fluent French and when they call her she just talks to them in French it's funny as they panic and after a while hang up. I don't normally screw with them as I have better things to do (like play video games). They usually ask if they're speaking to [my dad] so I just say "No" and hang up.