Poll: So, Depressed Much?

[Guffe]

Nope.
Feeling good and being good.
Until I get shot that is, but then I just raise myself up and rip the head of the fucker who did it.

 

[Reaper195]

During my teen years, I was depressed. TUrns out not being depressed makes me happy though, so I stopped being depressed.

 

[kommando367]

I try to keep all of my negative emotions suppressed so I don't really have that problem.

 

[The White Hunter]

So, this might be a bit heavy, but how many people out there are genuinely diagnosed with a psychiatric disorder involving depression?

I ask because I'm bipolar and currently having one of those episodes where the future to me is just a gaping hole of empty blackness that wants to drag me in and rip me apart and this makes me somewhat curious, in a more lucid moment, to ask if anyone else has anything similar going on here on the escapist.

Also, how do you cope with this kind of problem?
What gets you through the harder days?

And no, in advance, feeling a bit shit for a day is not depression.

Nah, I dodged a bullet. There's a history of mental illness on my mothers side of the family in all generations that I know of including mine, but I'm ok.

My mum use to be a lot better if she went for a walk or run. Only problem is, when she would have most benefited from a lighter mood from going out, she didn't see a point/care enough.

It's pretty hard seeing someone you love like that when there is literally nothing you can do for them. I'm sure it's worse for them though.

Yeah, exercise helps but when you barely see the point in showering or eating it's hard to make yourself go for a run or something. :z

I find it helps if people just understand and then don't preach to me to be proactive when I can't summon enough willpower to leave my house in the morning. Employment would like help to, though they say stress makes it worse.

 

[The Funslinger]

I'm feeling fantastic. Relaxed, content and I have a date with a girl at the Mana Bar coming up soon.

That you have the Mana Bar means you are a very lucky person.

 

[The White Hunter]

How many people out there are genuinely diagnosed with a psychiatric disorder involving depression?

Yo.

Also, how do you cope with this kind of problem?

Pills. Probably the most useful advice I've been given is to just let it go, though. I don't mean that in the ignorant, dismissive way you might expect, but rather, I think of depression as a weight that I've carried for so long it's become a reflex to hold onto it. If I just release my grip on it and let it go, if I don't try to fight it or control it but just let it be, it will pass.

What gets you through the harder days?

When it gets real bad, I can't move, so the only option available is to stay there and wait it out.

Yo right back at ya.

See, I won't take the pills, because the bipolar is a part of me that I don't want to let go, I don't want a pharmaceutical lobotomy, when I'm down it's miserable crippling hell but the highs are just indescribable.

It also loans itself to my creative side, which is something I need to invest in more in the future. It's just a shame that when depression hits you can't will yourself to be creative.

I've never been unable to move but I've had episodes where I can't see the point in eating more than a slice of toast a day or showering for a few months.

Edit: Physical affection from very specific people helps, e.g. a hug from my partner. Though conversely if anybody else hugged me right now I'd probably lash out at them.

 

[Elementary - Dear Watson]

I'm annoyingly quite the opposite... I have terminal positiveness...

Unfortunately this means I also don't know when to give up, and can cause me to lose sight of the seriousness of situations... or at least appear to...

 

[Bertylicious]

I have not been diagnosed, but I consistently exhibit symptoms of depression and I have for years. I can tell the difference between being sad and being depressed, and I know what I've got is almost definitely depression, nonetheless I don't want to be among those who self diagnose and complain. So Technically... no? But in reality yeah, my brain doesn't like being an optimist. I'm very nihilistic and there are many days where I don't feel like living because I know there's no reason for it. On any given day I consider and picture ways in which I could end my life between 1-?? times. I know I'm not bad enough to act on any suicidal tendencies I might have(before people start telling me to call help lines etc). I have my life under control and I do feel like living just for the times I do get to enjoy. Why am I telling an internet forum this? Fuck me I don't have a clue.

I'm kind of like that too.

The other day at work, I was just working away like one does, then BAM! Full-on self-loathing mode activated.

My face became expressionless, and inside, my mind was just going allout to make me feel bad. Saying how useless and pointless my existance is, and that I should just go and kill myself and not be a burden on everyone. And how I'm too chicken to actually do it. To do anything.

But then, afterwards, I'm all right. I start to deal with whatever I'm doing.

I remember once, when I was working on an assignment, and it wasn't going well, I just snapped, rubbed cake all over my older brother (who was being a real asshole that day), and just laid down on the bare floor, and cried, and cried, and cried, curled up into a ball.

That is kind of funny in hindsight, but thats what I can be like sometimes. When I bottle it all up.

I really don't know. Could it just be the human condition? Life is generally apalling and I don't know how much the feeling of desperate futility is caused by a lack of fluids in the brain.

I'm reminded of this Pictures for Sad Children comic:

Spoiler

 

[The White Hunter]

I've also been diagnosed with bipolar disorder. When I was diagnosed about a year ago with type 1, I had already had some suicide attempts, and I had a manic episode after that. I was at the end of my rope and was put on lithium which I can say did wonders for my mood, but had too many side effects to be bearable.

People think bipolar disorder is too 'hard-wired' of a disorder to do anything about it, which I think is rubbish. I had another period of instability after I gave up lithium, but after making a lot of great friends, exercising almost daily and using omega 3 supplements my mood swings are far less, though I still have swings (going through a mild depressive period now unfortunately). I find it hard to believe that taking mind-altering drug is going to do any good in the long run.

I was diagnosed a while ago and refused the medication, lithium, because it scares me and I don't really want to change, as I've said elsewhere the highs are amazing and it's a part of who I am.

Exercising and eating better does help, I'm sadly not in a great position to do either, I can't afford good food tbh I'm on a toast and canned food from the cupboard from years ago diet until I can find a job.

I'm on a mild period now I think, I get them a few times a year and within them some days are better than others, today isn't as bad as yesterday was for example but I still don't want to see daylight.

 

[Flames66]

I used to think I was depressed. I may have been in a very minor way. Then I asked myself why am I feeling this way, changed my outlook and am feeling much better.

 

[The White Hunter]

It's probably because the future actually is a gaping hole of empty blackness...as it stands. The question is, what are you going to do to address that problem?

I'll be frank: I don't believe most depression, if any, can be chalked up to psychology alone (or at all). I think there are very real, very profound problems inherent to modern existence that are being ignored, consciously or unconsciously. The sooner you try to recognize what they are for yourself (though I'm talking about things that are common to the human condition here) and resolve to do something about them, the better off you'll be. Google "existential guilt", "existential angst", etc. if you can't put them into words yourself...

I'd suggest starting by looking back on your life with an attitude of confidence and see which direction you think it should lead in from there.

I'll be back to 'normal' in a few more days, I'm having a mild depressive episode and I get them 3 to 5 times a year (I keep a graph of my moods for reference and I keep a mood chart on the fridge), and some days are better than others, I mean today I managed to get actual clothes on and make myself coffee. Yesterday I managed to roll into my computer chair and whine on the internet.

I'll agree to an extent, it isn't psychology alone and other factors play a part in it, I and others have said exercise and better diet help to deal with it for example, positive mental attitude is something a lot of people say to me without thinking it through, on particularly bad days thinking about tomorrow makes me want to curl up and die, confidence is something that's difficult to summon and maintain in day to day life let alone during an episode.

Stress is also considered a trigger and that could be why I feel this way, since I'm currently in the process of leaving university partway through and trying to find a new path through life that won't leave me without two pennies to rub together.
The general structure of society doesn't help, with a lot of emphasis on work and career, but to have either of those you need education, and education is a daunting and expensive process, at least here in the UK and I'm told the US.
But it also locks you into things and that terrifies me.

(I was studying education to be a teacher btw, way too high of a workload and I failed a placement because of stress breaking me.)

Retail therapy helps to but that might just be me, I bought a load of retro stuff the other day and it cheered me up. Then guilt. Also spent about £600. Now I'm mad at me.

Anyway I've lost my train of thought and started rambling.

 

[The White Hunter]

I had some therapy when I was younger. Hormones and all that shit, plus arguments with friends and discovering that I may have tourettes syndrome (later turned out that I did, imagine that) made me all messed up for a while.
Recently I've been pretty happy though. Hope you feel better soon, man.

Thank you

I actually feel a bit better today, not good, but better. I managed to find shoes and jeans and put them on rather than wallow in PJ's all day.

Little victories.

I had therapy for anger when I was a little kid, I lashed out very suddenly sometimes and I was always unusually strong for my size.

 

[Griffolion]

So, this might be a bit heavy, but how many people out there are genuinely diagnosed with a psychiatric disorder involving depression?

I ask because I'm bipolar and currently having one of those episodes where the future to me is just a gaping hole of empty blackness that wants to drag me in and rip me apart and this makes me somewhat curious, in a more lucid moment, to ask if anyone else has anything similar going on here on the escapist.

Also, how do you cope with this kind of problem?
What gets you through the harder days?

And no, in advance, feeling a bit shit for a day is not depression.

Diagnosed back in 2007 with moderate depression. It comes in waves, some months I'm good, some I'm bad.

Recently weened myself off medication, I kinda realised that having my mood (and thus my emotional life) enslaved to some tablets was actually worse than dealing with the depression un-helped.

 

[Padwolf]

Not actually depressed but I get rounds of sadness every couple of month where I sit feeling blank for days, sometimes crying and sometimes I have a breakdown. It always takes something to trigger it though, sometimes it would be something someone said that I sat and thought about for too much, something little and inconsequential, but it has that effect on me. It's mainly because I'm lonely. I moved house 2 years ago and lost a good chunk of friends because they couldn't be bothered to travel to see me when I did for them. There is no on my age, 20, around here. The nearest shop is a 20 minute walk away and I'm an hours bus ride away from a town. My best friends all live too far away to see as often as I would like. I can't get a job because of how far away I live from everything (I have tried, but I was rejected many times because of my address, no matter how much I argued with them that I could still make it.)

There are quite a few other reasons. Horrible family issues, money issues, no one being happy no matter when things are going right. I'm normally a very optimistic person, I always think that everything will work out in the end and I work towards that. I get through those bouts of sadness by just remembering all the good things I have, by talking to my best friends, by talking to my wonderful boyfriend and by playing video games and reading. I refuse to really let those times of sadness get to me. Why waste energy being down? I could use all that energy into being happy and really getting things sorted out.

 

[The White Hunter]

Take your meds and don't stop taking them just because you're in your up phase. You have to keep taking them as prescribed.

SNIP

Oh and don't sit there and expect people to notice your suffering, if you want help ask for it.

I don't have meds, I don't want the meds, there are better ways to cope than pharmaceutical lobotomy.

Help is hard to ask for but I try, thanks for the suggestion

 

[Moonlight Butterfly]

I have clinical depression. I feel better lately because I have been told I have something physically wrong with me that is probably contributing to it.

Hopefully when I've had my op I will feels loads better. I know it won't go away but at least I won't have the physical issue bringing me down all the time.

 

[The White Hunter]

Diagnosed back in 2007 with moderate depression. It comes in waves, some months I'm good, some I'm bad.

Recently weened myself off medication, I kinda realised that having my mood (and thus my emotional life) enslaved to some tablets was actually worse than dealing with the depression un-helped.

I took meds for about 3 months in my late teens a couple years ago and then stopped because I didn't like feeling like I wasn't in control anymore.

Better to have supportive people and try do a lot of exercise and eat good things.

 

[StBishop]

So, this might be a bit heavy, but how many people out there are genuinely diagnosed with a psychiatric disorder involving depression?

I ask because I'm bipolar and currently having one of those episodes where the future to me is just a gaping hole of empty blackness that wants to drag me in and rip me apart and this makes me somewhat curious, in a more lucid moment, to ask if anyone else has anything similar going on here on the escapist.

Also, how do you cope with this kind of problem?
What gets you through the harder days?

And no, in advance, feeling a bit shit for a day is not depression.

Nah, I dodged a bullet. There's a history of mental illness on my mothers side of the family in all generations that I know of including mine, but I'm ok.

My mum use to be a lot better if she went for a walk or run. Only problem is, when she would have most benefited from a lighter mood from going out, she didn't see a point/care enough.

It's pretty hard seeing someone you love like that when there is literally nothing you can do for them. I'm sure it's worse for them though.

Yeah, exercise helps but when you barely see the point in showering or eating it's hard to make yourself go for a run or something. :z

I find it helps if people just understand and then don't preach to me to be proactive when I can't summon enough willpower to leave my house in the morning. Employment would like help to, though they say stress makes it worse.

You're bipolar yeah? My mum's bipolar, she was best when she was working. Mostly she'd have hyper manic stages and her depressive stages were generally not as bad as when she wasn't working.[footnote]She has heaps of issues aside from being bipolar, many of which are not to do with her mental health. I'm sure she has undiagnosed mental health issues to do with her perception of other people and their value.[/footnote]

That said, she's got this big thing about her "career" which she's convinced she was going to be some huge big deal and she thinks that my father and my sister wrecked it for her. Apparently I wasn't an issue, I think it's because I was her first child and she needed to tick that off.

 

[JWRosser]

I've been feeling a bit down recently, but that's because I'm home from uni and bored out of my mind. And the terrible weather doesn't help either. But that's it.

I generally do get bouts of sadness but I don't think that is is depression. Like from November to about February this girl was leading me on, which caused me all kinds of grief. New Years Day was the worst, as she had invited me to spend new year with her and her friends (before anyone says anything, I wasn't in the "friend-zone" - she had told me that she liked me etc etc). Ahhh fun times. Completely over that now though. Now I'm in a kind-of-relationship that I don't really want to be in. Yay!