My mum was diagnosed as being clinically depressed a few years ago, and when that happened the GP asked to see me to explain a few things about it, and then warned me that there's a possibility I could develop depression myself. Of course, I thought "Nah, I'll be fine", but living with someone who suffers without a 'good' day for over a year is hard. I had to call my grandmother at one point, whilst in tears and nursing a cut head and beg her to come and help calm my mum down. She'd dropped a plate with some food on, and me trying to help told her not to worry about it. She threw the next plate at the wall by my head, it shattered and a shard of it caught me. I'd never seen her like that before and it scared me. More to the point, the thought that I might behave like that myself in future scared me.
Now, a couple of years later, I've been diagnosed with mild to moderate depression. It comes in waves and can last for a week usually. My GP asked me if I wanted to try taking anything, but I told him I didn't think it was severe enough yet. I don't know if it's a good thing to do or not but if I think I can feel it coming on I try and hide it until I'm in private. It's happened in public once, while I was at work. It wasn't particularly a bad day, and I was having a conversation with a colleague and then just burst into tears mid sentence. The awkwardness of that moment means now that only three people in my day to day life know that I have depression. I cope with it by escapism usually; through books, games or music. I've found it also helps to say to myself that I'm having 'just a Dark Day' when it happens. Giving the interludes a name makes them seem more than just what's in my head and makes them bearable. They've been more frequent lately though; no job, no money and a feeling of worthlessness in the world.
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