Poll: Virginity. purity, innocence

[2xDouble]

There's a great deal more to so-called "sexual repression" than belief; it's called "risk management". There are risks associated with both having and not having sex, and whether those consequences are worth the potential benefits are up to the individual.

PS: "I don't give a fuck"... heh, puns.

EDIT: It kinda makes me sad nobody has brought up the otherside of the argument. Did I make the OP too argumental?

No, your audience is horribly biased. Like kittens chasing laser pointers, all they know is that they want it.

 

[Kevlar Eater]

Spoiler

I fully respect people who wish to stay virgins until marriage. I chose not to and don't regret it one bit.

When I married my wife, she was a virgin. One of the shy ones at that. It took a very long time to break her in, so to speak.

Before I got married, I like finding experienced woman. They were more open to different things, much less shy, and they knew what they were doing to make things pleasurable. Now that I am getting divorced (something unrelated to the sex), I fully plan on going back to finding/dating/f***ing the more experienced women.

Enough about me, on to society!

I have found that people who have little to no experience in sex tend to idolize the virgin. Mostly due to the whole societal/religious thing. I have also found that these same people, when exposed to an experienced lover, will very quickly change their minds because they understand what knowledge is worth.

I believe the reason that so many religions are so hardcore about the virginity thing is related to old scripture. However, scripture writers had extremely good reasons for valuing virginity. First and foremost is the whole STD thing. Back when these scriptures were written, there was no protection from and no cure for STDs. If they had simply written from a health class point of view, people would have scoffed and gone about their orgies. Add eternal damnation from a god into the mix and now you have incentive for people to remain virgins until marriage. Secondly is the aspect of children. Again, there was no effective birth control back in the day so sex could very well mean children. There was no well defined daycare so women had to take care of the children. If they weren't married, they couldn't take care of the child. Married women had a husband to go and work for their living. So there you go.

If you don't mind me adding to what you said, virginity was also an important factor because the men involved wanted to make certain the child(ren) he was helping procreate was (were) in fact, his, and not some other dude's. Of course, paternity testing has done away with all that, but not without severing whatever trust one had with their partner. But I'd gladly sever that trust and the relationship if it meant finding out if the child my partner wanted to pin on me wasn't mine.

 

[Worldbreaker]

One of my girlfriends was a virgin. I myself hated the experience. The pressure of it being a person's first time was a lot. You are after all the doorway into the sexual world for this person.

My current girlfriend was a virgin before me (as was almost my every girlfriend, just a coincidence, I ain't chasing them deliberately), so yeah the quote says it all. She is still very shy, not very experienced and not very open to sex. Did I mention she is also very religious? I think there is something connected there...

Just to be clear, I love her very much, and if I met her 8-10 years from now, I would surely marry her. She is almost the perfect girlfriend (everybody has their faults). But I am in college and want to have fun, and if she told me at the start that it would take me half a year to sleep with her and after that every couple of months (we do other stuff, and also she is from out of town and won't sleep with me unless it's the safe days, so we have to schedule it sometimes which kills the romance a bit), I don't know if I would pursue the relationship at the time...

TL;DR: It's not about the experience, it's about the openness to new stuff. You can get the experience together.

 

[PedroSteckecilo]

Protect yourself from STI's, that's just sensible...

Other than that the idea of maintaining or insisting on virginity/purity is bullllllsssshhhhiiiiittttt.

I say bang all the consensual partners you damn well please and have fun doing it! Just ya know... be safe and smart about it please, STI's are serious business and being an unwilling parent is no fun at all I'm sure.

 

[2012 Wont Happen]

My biggest turn on is promiscuous looking cholas with an even semi decent natural appearance. The only white girls I've ever been into have been white trash or ravers.

In general I like the opposite of virginity. Takes 10,000 hours to master pretty much any skill, so my ideal sex partner would be a woman who had spent 10,000 hours having sex.

 

[The_Scrivener]

In the practical sense, virginity is meaningless once you hit a reasonable age. Sex is for responsible people. Aside from that, virginity is a who-cares type situation. Much ado about nothing.

Virginity obsession is more of a societal, religious fear-of-vaginas outdated mentality than anything. Enough of that crap already. Animals bang. Be safe, be responsible and do what makes you happiest with your existence.

 

[lawrie001]

Honestly don't think its unpure or dirty etc, but I do have some reservations. I was a complete virgin and my current girlfriend had couple sexual bfs before me so yeah I was really nervous and worried that I would be crap, she would hate it with me and leave me.
However heres the thing, previous two dudes turned out to be fucking jerks (ie only cared for themselves in all ways including sex), she only slept with them because well she has very little confidence in herself (now getting better) so turned out I was hell of a lot better in satisfying her then those arseholes .

.....also she does say im bigger then them which may be true or not (hope so after 4years together) but yeah as long as she enjoys it with me more then her previous lovers then I am happy.

 

[Hoplon]

Surely Sex is like anything else, if you don't practice you will never be any good. Like riding a bike or swimming or reading...

 

[Auron]

If anything I think every potential partner should just have a lot of sex before meeting me or anyone else for that matter,

...

You do understand that that's completely impossible, right?

You can have sex before having a steady relationship so not completely, but pretty unlikely, yes. From 4 or 5 I've had one virgin so it's pretty good ratio actually.

 

[NightmareExpress]

It's not important, it's not "pure", it's not "innocent".
I look down upon people for a million different things before I mention what goes on in the bedroom, because that seems rather irrelevant when compared to other assets of life.

Though with that said, I've found that the virgins/people who've been with relatively few seem to be more secure in life while the ones going about the block end up poor, addicted, stupid and pegged by alimony. But that has nothing to do with "purity/innocence", it's mainly linked with intelligence.

The idiotic will take what they can get as frequently as possible, while the smarts will get all they can from a few select sources. There's a big difference between the two and I'll repeat that "purity/innocence", "experience" and "religion" don't really play a role in it.

 

[Insideout Ink Demon]

its just sex.
i know that doesnt add much, but I dont really think that much about the act. its fun, so what if someone had fun before they met me

 

[Bocaj2000]

It never made a difference, but I see the appeal. During my first time having sex with a virgin, two things happened: I made her cum, despite her hymen breaking, and she became sexually addicted to me. Over the coarse of time, she got progressively better at sex and broke several sexual barriers that she though that she would never do. Watching the progression is the appeal of dating a virgin to me. With that said, I have no preference; love is love.

 

[Phasmal]

I don't give a damn about other people's virginities.
I don't like hypocrites though, and people who want virgins but aren't themselves annoy me. Also people who think its way more important for a woman to be a virgin than a man.

There seems to be a big myth that once you have had sex you are a different person. Having had sex once doesn't change who you are.
I don't value virginity.
I value honesty. If someone isn't a virgin but is the type of person I would want to date (monogamous, not a cheater), then I don't care how many people they have been with before.

 

[Azwrath]

Wait! I thought being a virgin on the internet is a bad thing? At least it seems so in some of the dark corners of the internet i have visited.

Tho seriously i think i would need a 60's spiderman picture to show how much i personaly care for someone's virginity and how or when they lost it, be it 13 or 30. But since i don't know how to post pictures and i might get in trouble for it i'm just going to say it: I don't, at all, and i fail to see why someone else would. Both on the internet and in real life. It is a personal and private matter and it has nothing to do with "purity".

As for innocence, i never understood why our society considers a combination of simple-mindedness and ignorance a quality in children.

 

[OtherSideofSky]

I really don't care. I guess that, if I had to pick, I'd feel more comfortable with someone who knew what they were doing, but I don't have a marked preference either way.

Also, I don't think 'purity' is a quality any human being has. If there were such a thing as a 'pure' person, I imagine that they would be rather terrifying.

 

[Something Amyss]

the first time with anyone is awkward, virgin or not ... that's just the way life is.

It doesn't have to be. Two people don't have to be nervous just because they're doing something new and intimate.

what can I say, I know how to make an entrance ... thanks

In a virginity thread, I feel that needs a rimshot.

OT: Virginity is so...meaningless. People obsess over primitive notions of property value and notions of what women specifically should be. No pun intended, but screw that.

 

[NinjazInside]

Well i am one of the last of my friends to retain their virginity, i neither look down on them or look up to them. As someone pointed out earlier, it is just sex. That is my whole view of it, if i genuinely loved a girl and she was lets say experienced i wouldn't mind, but i wouldn't exactly be jumping in bed either, i'm generally a shy creature and thinking that there would be a standard to live up to would kill it all for me. That is one of the respects i'd prefer to be with another virgin, though now being 18 the likelihood of that has decreased exponentially. Religion isn't a factor for me either, but i also think those that shut out anything sexual even at 18 are just stupid, like this girl i know even a innuendo just makes her tell me to shut up or even hit me.

In the end its also ignorance, i would prefer to lose my virginity with another virgin but it isn't the be all and end all of it, in the end, i'd rather lose it to someone i love.

 

[Libra]

I chose 'I value virginity'. However, I mostly meant my own, not that of someone else. I just prefer keeping it until I meet the right guy. I would prefer it if he didn't have that many partners though, just because of STD concerns

Of course, as a gay man who doesn't plan on dating until he's at least 25 years of age, being with a guy with few partners seem painfully unlikely...

 

[CrimsonBlaze]

It all comes down to your own personal beliefs, religion, and/or spirituality.

If you find virginity as a sacred state of being, then more power to you. If you can't wait to get rid of it, then happy trails.

I certainly wouldn't make a judgment call on anyone based solely on whether they still had their virginity in tact.

 

[ObsidianJones_v1legacy]

so, yeah. I'll be that guy.

Given that this is the internet, we're pumped full of hormones with our food, and we have an overly sexed but repressive culture... I'm going to assume the vast majority of us been to a porn site or a thousand.

Have you read the titles of these things? They are a turn off, disgusting, and a good window into the mindsets of people. Vile names for the women, sometimes for the men, deplorable acts... it's why I like Amateur. Amateur usually contains people who want each other and are expressing it in a manner that I can appreciate.

Regardless, It's surprising how much you'll see 'innocent' combined with 'wh*re' or 'dirty' or whatever. It seems to be a legit sexual fantasy that a person's penis is the key to sexual wanton abandon. You were innocent and pure and nice before me. Now you're a slave to sex because I got there first and showed you how good it could be.

Anyone remember the counters to when Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen became legal? there were TONS of those counters. And not just for them. I think a good deal of the disney stars growing up as well. I also think there's the 'you never forget your first' concept.

Basically, I think people obsess about innocence and purity as a power thing. Either they get a powerful feeling thinking they affected your life by taking it from you or changing you from pure to always wanting sex with them, or because they like to kick people when they are down with virtues and morals they don't even want to follow themselves. It's amazing how many people who had sex look down on people who just had sex.