Poll: Would you date a transgendered person?
- Thread starter BloatedGuppy
- Start date
I definitely would. I don't think it matters what people look like but rather what's inside. If what's inside doesn't reflect what's outside, it doesn't mean I wouldn't love them.
Melanie McGreevey said:
Being fat in other words obese IS an illness and not only physical but psycological as well. Go ask any doctor and they will tell u it is.
As well as any aesthetic changes that are NOT for the sake of not looking deformed (like deformation after a car crash, deformation like bones out of place since birth etc)
Trans people suffer from a hormonal and psycological disorder that makes them feel like the other gender. And so their need to go for that. There are a few that are hermaphrodites that dont have any specific genitals and they can be either male or female, so with time they got to decipher what they want to be.
But by all means, trans people suffer hormonal and for obvious reasons psycological (due to the chemistry in their brain)illness since birth. They are sick, and they can do what they want with their body to feel confortable. But they DO suffer an illness.
Im sure everyones said this, but how do you know? You can think about it, and saying so-so is good, but I doubt people would follow through with what they vote.
I might, again I dont know and im far to lonely to decide without sounding desperate XD
Now another question, would you date someones whos gender queer?
I might, again I dont know and im far to lonely to decide without sounding desperate XD
Now another question, would you date someones whos gender queer?
Yes, I would date someone who is gender queer or bigendered. Variety is the spice of life, after all.Shemming said:
In all seriousness, I have been attracted to a number of gender queer people in the past, and expect I will in the future. One of my preferences is for people who blur or cross over the gender lines. The only reasons that I haven't dated someone like this so far has been a matter of either distance, or a lack of mutual interest.
It is interesting, one couple I know are both gender bi/queer and they function rather well.nekoali said:Yes, I would date someone who is gender queer or bigendered. Variety is the spice of life, after all.Shemming said:
In all seriousness, I have been attracted to a number of gender queer people in the past, and expect I will in the future. One of my preferences is for people who blur or cross over the gender lines. The only reasons that I haven't dated someone like this so far has been a matter of either distance, or a lack of mutual interest.
If i had the chance I'd try it, as should everyone. Everyone.
It's amazing how aware people are of their prejudices and how they still, for some reason, are unwilling to change them, or acknowledge it as a failing on their part. It's- I'm not sure what the word is for when people do that, but it's probably not a very pleasant word.
I've seen people on here say that they wouldn't date a transperson "considering the transpeople they know". They then acknowledge that they have a small sample size and that, therefore they're being needlessly biased, but then seem to simply shrug their shoulders and go "oh well".
Or there are the people who see nothing wrong with claiming that transpeople aren't "real" women. Nevermind that the concept of "real" women is a highly subjective term. Even if the transperson were literally indistinguishable from the "real" thing, they still wouldn't date them. They still wouldn't find them attractive because, you know, they just don't. Simple as that; they just don't. Are they not aware that this doesn't justify it, or that people might be upset or offended over it? I'm sure they'd just shrug and say "it is how it is" and make no effort to correct this problem.
Or you get the absolute idiots who expect transperson to tell everyone they get vaguely intimate with that they're a transperson completely out of the blue. If they're asked and lie, that might be one thing; but to say it on the off chance that you might have a problem with it? Considering that transpeople are the victims of physical assaults over such things, that the dude (or chick) could then react badly, accussing the transperson of leading them on, it's absurd anyone would expect this of them. Also, at what point is someone obligated to inform others that they're trans, exactly? On top of that, if one expects transpeople to have to inform others that they're trans, just because some people might have a problem with it; should (for example) jewish people have to tell their partners that they're jewish, on the off chance they're anti-smetic or that, whilst being totally non-anti-semitic, they just have a problem with sleeping with jewish chicks and dudes.
Actually, comparing transpeople to other minorities is very enlightening in this scenario. If someone were to tell you that they weren't cool with dating or sleeping with (btw, you do know that those things are different, right?) black people, for example, what would you think of them? Whilst you might not think them to be racist straigh away, you'd certainly suspect something was amiss. What would you say if they tried to justify it with: "well, I'm worried about what my mates would think of me", or "well, considering some of the black people I know, I doubt I'd want to", or "even if they're physically attractive and I hit it off with them on an emotional and intellectual level, just knowing they're black will be a turn off", or even "well, come on, that interracial crap is just weird".
Think I'm wrong or that this is some kind of exaggeration? Certain racial minorities are seen as less desirable, even though most people just can't give a straight answer as to why this is. It certainly isn't an innate things; one can chart the perceived attractiveness of certain racial groups over time. Some people are just willing to accept what their culture has told them is attractive [note: presently in the western world, that amounts to white (maybe with a hint of asian), heterosexual (bisexual also acceptable), cisgendered women] and are unwilling to challenge their own views. Not that I'm saying everyone has to go out and be pansexuals who see everyone as equally attractive, and who don't judge people on their appearances in the slightest but, come on, at least TRY to better yourselves.
I'm not saying that not wanting to date a transperson makes you transphobic. What I am saying is that, firstly, transphobia is bad. Usually I wouldn't feel the need to say this but, reading some comments here, just- uggh... The second point is that transphobia comes in many forms and relies, in part, on how one views transpeople. Is your unwillingness to date (or consider dating) them really a simple as preference? If it were just a preference thing, would you really rule out the idea so completely? Are you 100% sure it's not just that you see them as "fake" women, or as men in drag, or as something else? Are you sure that you AREN'T a bigot? Really?
I could go on about how a load of people here seem to have the wrong impression on what it means to be trans, seem to take for granted that being trans is something weird and undesirable, and just generally come across as how you'd expect bigotted idiots to come across. However, I've rambled on enough here and, unlike many on this forum, I don't want to stray TOO far from the topic at hand.
TL;DR? Basically, after reading some posts on this forum, I'm not sure I'm comfortable dating cisgendered people anymore.
I've seen people on here say that they wouldn't date a transperson "considering the transpeople they know". They then acknowledge that they have a small sample size and that, therefore they're being needlessly biased, but then seem to simply shrug their shoulders and go "oh well".
Or there are the people who see nothing wrong with claiming that transpeople aren't "real" women. Nevermind that the concept of "real" women is a highly subjective term. Even if the transperson were literally indistinguishable from the "real" thing, they still wouldn't date them. They still wouldn't find them attractive because, you know, they just don't. Simple as that; they just don't. Are they not aware that this doesn't justify it, or that people might be upset or offended over it? I'm sure they'd just shrug and say "it is how it is" and make no effort to correct this problem.
Or you get the absolute idiots who expect transperson to tell everyone they get vaguely intimate with that they're a transperson completely out of the blue. If they're asked and lie, that might be one thing; but to say it on the off chance that you might have a problem with it? Considering that transpeople are the victims of physical assaults over such things, that the dude (or chick) could then react badly, accussing the transperson of leading them on, it's absurd anyone would expect this of them. Also, at what point is someone obligated to inform others that they're trans, exactly? On top of that, if one expects transpeople to have to inform others that they're trans, just because some people might have a problem with it; should (for example) jewish people have to tell their partners that they're jewish, on the off chance they're anti-smetic or that, whilst being totally non-anti-semitic, they just have a problem with sleeping with jewish chicks and dudes.
Actually, comparing transpeople to other minorities is very enlightening in this scenario. If someone were to tell you that they weren't cool with dating or sleeping with (btw, you do know that those things are different, right?) black people, for example, what would you think of them? Whilst you might not think them to be racist straigh away, you'd certainly suspect something was amiss. What would you say if they tried to justify it with: "well, I'm worried about what my mates would think of me", or "well, considering some of the black people I know, I doubt I'd want to", or "even if they're physically attractive and I hit it off with them on an emotional and intellectual level, just knowing they're black will be a turn off", or even "well, come on, that interracial crap is just weird".
Think I'm wrong or that this is some kind of exaggeration? Certain racial minorities are seen as less desirable, even though most people just can't give a straight answer as to why this is. It certainly isn't an innate things; one can chart the perceived attractiveness of certain racial groups over time. Some people are just willing to accept what their culture has told them is attractive [note: presently in the western world, that amounts to white (maybe with a hint of asian), heterosexual (bisexual also acceptable), cisgendered women] and are unwilling to challenge their own views. Not that I'm saying everyone has to go out and be pansexuals who see everyone as equally attractive, and who don't judge people on their appearances in the slightest but, come on, at least TRY to better yourselves.
I'm not saying that not wanting to date a transperson makes you transphobic. What I am saying is that, firstly, transphobia is bad. Usually I wouldn't feel the need to say this but, reading some comments here, just- uggh... The second point is that transphobia comes in many forms and relies, in part, on how one views transpeople. Is your unwillingness to date (or consider dating) them really a simple as preference? If it were just a preference thing, would you really rule out the idea so completely? Are you 100% sure it's not just that you see them as "fake" women, or as men in drag, or as something else? Are you sure that you AREN'T a bigot? Really?
I could go on about how a load of people here seem to have the wrong impression on what it means to be trans, seem to take for granted that being trans is something weird and undesirable, and just generally come across as how you'd expect bigotted idiots to come across. However, I've rambled on enough here and, unlike many on this forum, I don't want to stray TOO far from the topic at hand.
TL;DR? Basically, after reading some posts on this forum, I'm not sure I'm comfortable dating cisgendered people anymore.
Ummm... Matthew94, other than hyperbole and exagerration for comic effect, I'm pretty sure I didn't say not finding transpeople attractive made you a bigot. In fact, I'm fairly sure I made it clear (as in I actually stated) that that wasn't my view. My argument is that, of the people who claim not to find transpeople attractive, a considerable percentage likely have bigotries and prejudices behind that non-attraction. I was asking them to consider this and, if it's not too much effort, get rid of said bigotries and prejudices.
As for your more specific criticisms of what I had to say, I disagree. I doubt many people think in terms of male/female being defined by chromosones. Not in any practical, day-to-day sense, so it's kinda iffy when people suddenly make out that it's the be all and end all when it comes to transpeople. Also, if you read back over the comments of the people who said they wouldn't date a transperson, next to none mentioned chromosones.
The problem with the relationship argument is: how do we define the start of a relationship? Does it begin when I start chatting someone up in a pub? Or when sex enters the equation? What if it's only a one-night stand? Should they mention it on the first date or third? Whilst I'm willing to accept that a transperson should share that they are trans with someone they're in a romantic, committed long-term relationship with, that's only because I tend to think people should be open and honest in romantic, committed, long-term relationships.
You misunderstand me. I was not talking in the context of a long-term relationship, where one is sure on the other's opinion. Some guys seem to think that, if they take a transperson back to their place, before any hanky-panky ensues, the chick must admit, out of nowhere, that she's trans. That's the bit I was bjecting to. Transpeople have been beaten or killed by dudes who suddenly realising that chick they were interested in isn't a "real" woman. Combine that with the general ridicule and prejudices they face, I'm surprised that they'd ever reveal it, other than when they had to.
Also, the jewish comparrison is still quite apt. It's only because having a "thing" with transpeople is more acceptable than having a "thing" with jewish people. You might have a point that the prevelance of people having an issue with transpeople might make it different but, as I stated above, that same prevelence is also an argument for them NOT to say anything. Also, you know, you could always ask a dame if you're unsure.
Anyway, I could ramble on and create yet another wall of text (oh wait, already done that!), but I'll just summarise by saying: transphobia is a real issue, and causes needless problems for people who already have enough shit going on in their lives. It'd be nice if people could stop being judgemental/ignorant/vapid dicks for long enough to maybe broaden their minds just a tad.
As for your more specific criticisms of what I had to say, I disagree. I doubt many people think in terms of male/female being defined by chromosones. Not in any practical, day-to-day sense, so it's kinda iffy when people suddenly make out that it's the be all and end all when it comes to transpeople. Also, if you read back over the comments of the people who said they wouldn't date a transperson, next to none mentioned chromosones.
The problem with the relationship argument is: how do we define the start of a relationship? Does it begin when I start chatting someone up in a pub? Or when sex enters the equation? What if it's only a one-night stand? Should they mention it on the first date or third? Whilst I'm willing to accept that a transperson should share that they are trans with someone they're in a romantic, committed long-term relationship with, that's only because I tend to think people should be open and honest in romantic, committed, long-term relationships.
You misunderstand me. I was not talking in the context of a long-term relationship, where one is sure on the other's opinion. Some guys seem to think that, if they take a transperson back to their place, before any hanky-panky ensues, the chick must admit, out of nowhere, that she's trans. That's the bit I was bjecting to. Transpeople have been beaten or killed by dudes who suddenly realising that chick they were interested in isn't a "real" woman. Combine that with the general ridicule and prejudices they face, I'm surprised that they'd ever reveal it, other than when they had to.
Also, the jewish comparrison is still quite apt. It's only because having a "thing" with transpeople is more acceptable than having a "thing" with jewish people. You might have a point that the prevelance of people having an issue with transpeople might make it different but, as I stated above, that same prevelence is also an argument for them NOT to say anything. Also, you know, you could always ask a dame if you're unsure.
Anyway, I could ramble on and create yet another wall of text (oh wait, already done that!), but I'll just summarise by saying: transphobia is a real issue, and causes needless problems for people who already have enough shit going on in their lives. It'd be nice if people could stop being judgemental/ignorant/vapid dicks for long enough to maybe broaden their minds just a tad.
If I knew, probably not. It's just something I don't think I'd be able to get over. I know it's terrible but then again I'm a terrible guy.
If I didn't know, I think the saying is "Ignorance is bliss".
If I didn't know, I think the saying is "Ignorance is bliss".
Not at all. It's completely wrong. You don't choose the race you're born as. Here is an example of two similar cases for you. A drunk driver plows into a telephone pole killing himself (his fault). Do you feel bad for him? Maybe a bit. A drunk driver plows into a pedestrian (who is minding their own business, and has no power over the situation) and kills them. Do you feel worse for the pedestrian than the drunk who killed himself? I'd hope so.TheSnarkKnight said:
In my first example, the transgender person is a drunk driver getting behind the wheel of the car (undergoing a mutilation you could loosely call "surgery"). The results of their actions are their own fault and they have no one else to blame when they get wrapped around a pole.
In my second example, the black/hispanic/jewish guy is the pedestrian who has no control over the way he's treated. From birth he's ran over by the car of racism.
Since when does my deciding of who I want to bone or date make me biased? Get off your high horse, I can choose whoever I want. As long as I treat you like a decent human, you can save your "enlightened" preaching. So what if I'm not sexually interested in transexuals? Or even black people? Am I transphobic? Or racist? No. I'm just not sexually interested, that's the way I'm wired, respect it, and back off. I don't want to screw any men, am I biased against my own gender? Am I sexist?! Of course not, common sense, people, use it.
EDIT: To avoid coming across like a complete cock, I'd like to add that I would theoretically date/bone a MtF if they looked like a convincing switch, and they were interesting mentally (for dating, anyhow). However, the likelihood of finding such a person, and them being interested in me as well, is below zero.
I wouldn't say it's much of a choice to be like this. The surgery, yes, it's a choice. But the actual transgender part of it...I was born like this.Slayer_2 said:
Great, dress up in heels and a skirt, find a nice guy, whatever. Undergoing experimental surgery and hormone treatments is a terrible idea, in my opinion. Surgery should be mostly reserved for critical health-affecting conditions, a last resort if nothing else will do.ZephyriaSoul said:
I don't really get it, I'll admit. If I woke up tomorrow in a female body, I'd think it was epic. And I'd be a lesbian, most likely. I sure as hell wouldn't have surgery.