Poll: Would you date a transgendered person?
- Thread starter BloatedGuppy
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Honestly that is something that is fairly terrifying to a lot of transgendered people as well. I was dating my boyfriend for about two years when I realized I was trans, and I was terrified for a few months of telling him, because I love him, and would have been crushed if he left. But when a relationship is good and strong, there's not a lot of room for doubt. I did finally tell him, and we're celebrating our three-year anniversary this month.Jayse said:
Basically what I'm trying to say here is that love will make you stronger than you think you are. And that sounds totally cliche and dumb... but it really is true.
No offence to them but just...no. it gives me a massive ick factor and I find I'd have more respect for them if they accepted the sex they were born as. I'm not saying I'm right or wrong but that is the way I feel.
No definitely not
If I knew they were transgender wether they had changed the parts or not I would not go out with them
If there's one thing I'm against it's doing a person that was once of the other sex
Mostly because i'm an extremely heterosexual male and just the thought of my partner being any essence of a man would have me vomit all over the floor.
I don't have too much against trans-gendered people, but as I stated being a heterosexual male I would find it disgusting to find a woman i'm in a relationship with was transsexual and therefore I would not go out with her/him/whatever
If I knew they were transgender wether they had changed the parts or not I would not go out with them
If there's one thing I'm against it's doing a person that was once of the other sex
Mostly because i'm an extremely heterosexual male and just the thought of my partner being any essence of a man would have me vomit all over the floor.
I don't have too much against trans-gendered people, but as I stated being a heterosexual male I would find it disgusting to find a woman i'm in a relationship with was transsexual and therefore I would not go out with her/him/whatever
If they acted like a woman, looked like a woman, felt like a woman (when we have sex), and for all i knew thinked like a woman, I would have no problem. However every little bit of manliness he would have would make me more uncofortable with it. But by principle I wouldnt say I wouldnt date a MTF if i could not diffrentiate. However I voted no, because I don't think that is possible to do.
Psychology is pseudo science. It deals with extreme unknowns and makes leaping hypothesis constantly. It also flies in the face of the scientific method. It is like philosophy, or sociology.Naleh said:
http://www.philosophynow.org/issues/74/Is_Psychology_Science
http://www.globalpolitician.com/21443-sociology-psychology
http://www.arachnoid.com/psychology/index.html
Psychology is inherently a flawed attempt at science, because it can make any claim, and assumption, without refutation. Because no one truly knows anything, it's all hypothesis. Which is why psychological medicine is one of the worst and truly over reaching fields of medicine in the world.
We live in a society today that is overmedicated, or over stimulated, all because of psychological medication. The tripdiphans, the ritalins, the focusins, the uppers, the downers, the 5 hour energys. All thanks to psychology, and telling the world how it needs to behave.
No for several reasons;
1) I don't date (being socially inept doesn't help).
2) Besides one (who I think is a transvestite i.e. is a male in everything except in clothing and has no intention of changing) I know of, there are no such people where I live; I happen to live in one of the most violent and intolerant countries in the developed world, so such people aren't welcome, especially in the area where I live right now.
3) I think it would conflict with my beliefs anyway (currently unsure on several issues right now, so can't give a definite answer).
1) I don't date (being socially inept doesn't help).
2) Besides one (who I think is a transvestite i.e. is a male in everything except in clothing and has no intention of changing) I know of, there are no such people where I live; I happen to live in one of the most violent and intolerant countries in the developed world, so such people aren't welcome, especially in the area where I live right now.
3) I think it would conflict with my beliefs anyway (currently unsure on several issues right now, so can't give a definite answer).
Well it was an easy prediction though seeing how these topics always end. I should have just learned from them and just not post on this subject. I mean in the last reply i was yelling/swearing >.<Yureina said:
Unless someone is quoting me in a normal way about my opinion without twisting my words i will stop replying in this topic.
Pats Yureina on the back for a bigger ego boost
Just been reading some of the responses to this thread and I feel that I need to make a general announcement, so here goes..
Attention people of the world.
Please respect my decisions when it comes down to questions of whom with, what with, where with, when with, why with and how with that are related to my genitals and I will do my utmost to respond in kind. So long as I'm not deploying my nether regions against children, mentally disabled people, animals or out in public for everyone to see, show me some uncommon decency and leave me and my crotch alone.
Trust me, you are not missing out on anything special. My dick is not going to make you king or queen of all merry olde England if you [CENSORED]it.
That is all.
Attention people of the world.
Please respect my decisions when it comes down to questions of whom with, what with, where with, when with, why with and how with that are related to my genitals and I will do my utmost to respond in kind. So long as I'm not deploying my nether regions against children, mentally disabled people, animals or out in public for everyone to see, show me some uncommon decency and leave me and my crotch alone.
Trust me, you are not missing out on anything special. My dick is not going to make you king or queen of all merry olde England if you [CENSORED]it.
That is all.
Male and would date. I've found myself wondering if I'm bi on occasions, but have eventually realised that I'm not- I'm attracted to feminine people, not specifically women. I find transgendered MTF people attractive (as long as they actually ARE attractive of course, but that goes without saying). A transgendered person is someone who was born in the wrong gender- so what's wrong with me dating a TG? I'm a man, she's a woman- the fact that she was born with a male body can be considered simply an unfortunate accident of fate.
I love this assumption that if other people don't agree with you, it's because they're uneducated. What if somebody sat down, read up on the medical literature, and still rejected transgenderism as just a mental condition?Da_Vane said:
Care to substantiate that? I'm 100% male. Feel free to prove me wrong.Da_Vane said:
*raises hand* Yep, that would be me. I think gender IS sex (but not sexuality). Furthermore, I think the distinction has only fairly recently come up as a way of normalising the ideas of the trans community and exists more as a piece of community jargon than a widely-accepted concept. Why should sex and gender be dualistic? Just like the dualists who see the physical brain and the human mind (or soul) as seperate entities, I'll have to see some pretty bloody good proof before I take them seriously. Postulating an unproveable (and for now undisprovable) theory that just so happens to lend credibility to your position doesn't count as any kind of final word on the matter.Raika said:
I think a bit of fair warning should be expected. If I hooked up with a hot female and went back to her place, I'd have certain "expectations" of how the rest of the evening would play out. I wouldn't, for example, expect her to tie me up, whip me with a belt and throw her own faeces at me. And if I expressed dismay at this, her saying "Yeah, I'm into scat and S+M, I know I didn't say but then again you didn't specifically ask" would be very little comfort. Similarly, I wouldn't be impressed if her gorilla of a husband burst in and gave me a thrashing ("Oh yeah, I'm married. I forgot to say").Melanie McGreevey said:
Lying and choosing to omit important facts are both forms of deception, and if you're getting emotionally or physically intimate with someone, you surely need a baseline of honesty and transparency.
I'm sorry you're offended. But you taking offence doesn't make your position any more legitimate, and what's more I (and people like me) must weigh being true to my own beliefs and convictions against making concessions for people who I don't agree with. When I tell fundamentalist Christians that I don't believe in Creationism, I accept that I might be causing some offence. But it would be intellectually dishonest of me to water-down my opinion or to disingenuously claim I believed things that I didn't, just for the sake of being compromising or concessionary. You think X. I think Y. If me thinking Y offends you, sorry, but too bad.Montezuma said:
Sometimes I wish I was able to explain my stance on the matter better but since I don't even know how to explain it to myself I'll just go with "I'm not gay but I would date a woman or a MtF person if I found their appearance and personality attractive" but considering how few and far between are those people whose personality attracts me I wouldn't count on it happening any time soon.
As a trans woman myself, I've found this thread quite interesting, and I've pleased to see that the escapist community is a forward thinking and accepting one. That having been said, there are a few points I'd like to make for those of you who don't seem to understand.
Firstly transwomen did not use to be men. I have never been a man, I will accept that I was a boy for a period of my life, but never a man. Manhood comes from the lessons you learn during childhood, and I never learn those lessons, as I knew I was female from a very young age. I have no experience of being a man, nor really of being a boy. The only way I know life, is as a transsexual, and as a woman.
Secondly people don't to understand that gender and sex are not the same thing... A few people have said that you cannot change your gender, and that you could never see a transperson as the gender that live as. This is worng, and stems from a lack of understanding of what gender is. Gender cannot be measured, or tested for, it is nothing more than a social construct that we created... genders not tangible, so the only effective way to measure it is by asking people what they feel themselves to be. I do agree that gender cannot be changed, but for transsexuals there is no need to change it, my gender is (And always has been) female, it never changed.
Sex on the other hand is to do with you biological body, and I would at least understand you saying that you cannot change your sex (I don't agree with that, but I can understand why someone would think it) as technically I will never be able to change my chromosomes. However I feel that one can fix their physical body, then that should be enough. Plenty of ciswomen are born with out wombs, or with intersex conditions... are they not women in your opinion? What if a woman has to have a mastectomy due to an illness, is she not a woman now? Ciswomen are accepted as women, even if their bodies as far from what is consider normal as transwomens are. What is it exactly that you feel makes a woman a woman?
This is why I prefer the term transsexual to transgender. Trans comes from the latin "to move across", and to say "to move across gender" makes no sense to me, whereas "to move across sex" does, I can (And am) changing my physical body, and in my opinion, that is all I need to do.
Thirdly, there's been a lot of talk about the results of surgery, the general opinion seems to be that they are quite poor. This is not entirely true (At least not for transwomen, I know that transmen do have much more varied results, and I can imagine how it must be for them - My heart goes out to you guys) a lot of the photos you find online are very poor, but this comes down to where you have your surgery done, who does it, and what technique they use... sadly this is all influenced by how much you can afford to spend, and many people do take a budget route here.
Obviously there is a bit of luck involved, but if you can do your research, and you have cash to blow, then you can expect very good results. Most of the transwomens vagina's that I have seen in real life (I've never dated a transwomen, but I have been show a few results by my close friends) are very good indeed, and look just like ciswomen's. My partner has also seen quite a few photos of results, and has commented that they "Look my normal than mine"
It is true that many transwomen cannot orgasm in quite the same way as ciswomen, though again with a good surgeon it is possible (Though rare), transwomen can also generally not produce their own lubrication (Though again, it can happen, but it's very rare) however plenty of ciswomen suffer from dryness as well, so I don't really think it's a problem, or that it makes us less normal.
Right, now for the poll, there wasn't an option for me so I'll just answer here, I'm a mtf, and I would date another mtf. I would never consider dating a ftm, because I would never want to date a man, and while I would date a mtf sexual contact would be a big no until they'd had their surgery, this might seem an odd thing to say coming someone who is trans themselves, but I simply could not stand the penis (Regardless of whether it's on a cisman, transman, or transwomen) I already got one in my life that I hate and need to be rid of, I do not need a second!
I hope people might have gained something from this... but if you didn't so what! For me if people aren't okay with it, then I decide that they're probably not worth knowing anyway. No offence meant to anyway by this, you're all entitled to your own opinions of course, however for me, if people can't see me for who I am, I don't want to waste my time getting to know them, as I know that they'll never truly know me.
Firstly transwomen did not use to be men. I have never been a man, I will accept that I was a boy for a period of my life, but never a man. Manhood comes from the lessons you learn during childhood, and I never learn those lessons, as I knew I was female from a very young age. I have no experience of being a man, nor really of being a boy. The only way I know life, is as a transsexual, and as a woman.
Secondly people don't to understand that gender and sex are not the same thing... A few people have said that you cannot change your gender, and that you could never see a transperson as the gender that live as. This is worng, and stems from a lack of understanding of what gender is. Gender cannot be measured, or tested for, it is nothing more than a social construct that we created... genders not tangible, so the only effective way to measure it is by asking people what they feel themselves to be. I do agree that gender cannot be changed, but for transsexuals there is no need to change it, my gender is (And always has been) female, it never changed.
Sex on the other hand is to do with you biological body, and I would at least understand you saying that you cannot change your sex (I don't agree with that, but I can understand why someone would think it) as technically I will never be able to change my chromosomes. However I feel that one can fix their physical body, then that should be enough. Plenty of ciswomen are born with out wombs, or with intersex conditions... are they not women in your opinion? What if a woman has to have a mastectomy due to an illness, is she not a woman now? Ciswomen are accepted as women, even if their bodies as far from what is consider normal as transwomens are. What is it exactly that you feel makes a woman a woman?
This is why I prefer the term transsexual to transgender. Trans comes from the latin "to move across", and to say "to move across gender" makes no sense to me, whereas "to move across sex" does, I can (And am) changing my physical body, and in my opinion, that is all I need to do.
Thirdly, there's been a lot of talk about the results of surgery, the general opinion seems to be that they are quite poor. This is not entirely true (At least not for transwomen, I know that transmen do have much more varied results, and I can imagine how it must be for them - My heart goes out to you guys) a lot of the photos you find online are very poor, but this comes down to where you have your surgery done, who does it, and what technique they use... sadly this is all influenced by how much you can afford to spend, and many people do take a budget route here.
Obviously there is a bit of luck involved, but if you can do your research, and you have cash to blow, then you can expect very good results. Most of the transwomens vagina's that I have seen in real life (I've never dated a transwomen, but I have been show a few results by my close friends) are very good indeed, and look just like ciswomen's. My partner has also seen quite a few photos of results, and has commented that they "Look my normal than mine"
It is true that many transwomen cannot orgasm in quite the same way as ciswomen, though again with a good surgeon it is possible (Though rare), transwomen can also generally not produce their own lubrication (Though again, it can happen, but it's very rare) however plenty of ciswomen suffer from dryness as well, so I don't really think it's a problem, or that it makes us less normal.
Right, now for the poll, there wasn't an option for me so I'll just answer here, I'm a mtf, and I would date another mtf. I would never consider dating a ftm, because I would never want to date a man, and while I would date a mtf sexual contact would be a big no until they'd had their surgery, this might seem an odd thing to say coming someone who is trans themselves, but I simply could not stand the penis (Regardless of whether it's on a cisman, transman, or transwomen) I already got one in my life that I hate and need to be rid of, I do not need a second!
I hope people might have gained something from this... but if you didn't so what! For me if people aren't okay with it, then I decide that they're probably not worth knowing anyway. No offence meant to anyway by this, you're all entitled to your own opinions of course, however for me, if people can't see me for who I am, I don't want to waste my time getting to know them, as I know that they'll never truly know me.
A cisman is a man who was born with a male body, and a ciswoman is a woman who was born with a female body.westcoast1313 said:
Ahhh okay, so its a "normal" person. Then whats with the cis part?MartianWarMachine said:
Anyways on topic now i anwsered no as i find it weird. Cant really put a finger on the exact reason i feel that way, i just do.