Poll: Would you date a transgendered person?

[emeraldrafael]

male here,and i would if she was interesting and we connected. Im not above it, and theres not much difference in bodies.

 

[Asita]

I actually looked it up.

There are legal precedents where people have been charged with sexual harassment for obtaining consent via false means. For instance, impersonating someone's lover and obtaining consent for sexual activities would get you charged.

Despite the fact that it'd possibly be interpreted as second thoughts after the fact, no?

So, obtaining consent on false grounds could get you charged with harassment.
Personally, I'd rather avoid the problem outright by imposing laws that reconstructed genitals must be marked with a tattoo, or similar.
In my opinion, if you end up in a position where you are showing off your genitals to someone else, chances are that the person in question deserves to know whether or not they were man-made, so to speak.

If the partner in question didn't mind carrying out romantic acts with a reconstructed person, then all is well and nobody has to do anything they regret.

I personally believe that relationships should be based upon honesty and if someone would hide such a thing about themselves, then they're not honest or good people.

If you take something a bit different, like HIV. Would you feel alright if someone neglected to inform you of that condition before having sex with you?
Chances are you wouldn't.

...and if you would, then you're clearly a better person than I am.

Those are not comparable situations. In the former involves one person pretending to be another person entirely. The transgendered scenario involves you not knowing certain aspects of their life. It's not "I thought she was my wife" so much as it is "You never told me you had a tattoo". In the latter, you're talking about a piece of medical knowledge that directly affects any and all sexual partners on a permanent basis. As much as you may find the idea of sleeping with an MtF transgendered person distasteful, it does not compare to someone neglecting to tell you that they had HIV, and it's insulting to both transgendered people and HIV victims to treat it as such.

 

[Olivia Faraday]

I would absolutely date a transgendered person if they were someone I was attracted to and who I could get along with on a personal level. That said, I'm pretty much a Kinsey 3 bisexual, so my opinion may weight less than someone else's? I like both types of junk.

 

[Ledan]

*snip*

I will still respond to your treatment of me as male, as if I were born female. I honestly dont give a fuck about your own gender bias, but I expect to be treated as a woman. I will treat you as a man, I expect the same respect.

Because you look like one? Then I demand to be treated like a vampire if I look like one. You haven't changed the fact that you are male. XY. Just like I havent changed myself from being human.

No, not because I look female, because I Identify as female, it is part of who I am. You disregarding that is the same as telling a gay person they're straight, you're not changing the truth, but attempting to ignore it.

And if I identify myself as a genius? Or vampire? Wouldn't make either of them true. You're still male. You may feel culturally more like a woman, but you will still be biologically male. I may concede to treat you like a woman/man, but you will never be just a woman. You'd be something new.
Anyways, how bout we bury the hatchet? Seems like we're not really going anywhere.

 

[The White Hunter]

Would have to be put in that situation to know to be honest. With any gender in any combination. Don't see why it wouldn't be worth a try! =D

 

[The White Hunter]

I actually looked it up.

There are legal precedents where people have been charged with sexual harassment for obtaining consent via false means. For instance, impersonating someone's lover and obtaining consent for sexual activities would get you charged.

Despite the fact that it'd possibly be interpreted as second thoughts after the fact, no?

So, obtaining consent on false grounds could get you charged with harassment.
Personally, I'd rather avoid the problem outright by imposing laws that reconstructed genitals must be marked with a tattoo, or similar.
In my opinion, if you end up in a position where you are showing off your genitals to someone else, chances are that the person in question deserves to know whether or not they were man-made, so to speak.

If the partner in question didn't mind carrying out romantic acts with a reconstructed person, then all is well and nobody has to do anything they regret.

I personally believe that relationships should be based upon honesty and if someone would hide such a thing about themselves, then they're not honest or good people.

If you take something a bit different, like HIV. Would you feel alright if someone neglected to inform you of that condition before having sex with you?
Chances are you wouldn't.

...and if you would, then you're clearly a better person than I am.

Those are not comparable situations. In the former involves one person pretending to be another person entirely. The transgendered scenario involves you not knowing certain aspects of their life. It's not "I thought she was my wife" so much as it is "You never told me you had a tattoo". In the latter, you're talking about a piece of medical knowledge that directly affects any and all sexual partners on a permanent basis. As much as you may find the idea of sleeping with an MtF transgendered person distasteful, it does not compare to someone neglecting to tell you that they had HIV, and it's insulting to both transgendered people and HIV victims to treat it as such.

You sir are correct > > I'd like to throw in that having sex with a transgendered individual and finding out after may be to somebodies distaste, however, having sex with an HIV positive individual and finding out afterwards is likely a much more serious concern to anybody with their priorities in the right order. Totally different issues < < -anticipates being flamed like always for using a reasonable amount of logic- [Not by you, I agree, by the guy you quoted, or some other dude on here]

 

[Spy_Guy]

-snip-

Perhaps rather than the transgendered person having to reveal something incredibly personal about themselves to everyone they might consider having a relationship with, maybe you should tell everyone that you refuse to date transsexual people.

Seems like it would save a lot of hassle and state mandated branding.

And they aren't "lying" to you by not telling you're they're transsexual, there simply not sharing personal secrets.

I actually do. Hell, I even explicitly ask. Worked with my current girlfriend and we love each other very much.

I personally think it's a shame that spreading this information would fall on my shoulders, though. If you look at the poll, you'll see that a majority of guys here wouldn't date MTF's, and if we take that as reasonably accurate statistics (don't think we have a large enough test group)... my opinions aren't even in the minority.

Chances are a lot of people wouldn't be as vocal as I am on the subject, but I'm a stickler for not keeping secrets and lying in a relationship. But I digress.

Anyways, since my opinion is far from rare and these people have made an active choice to change their gender, with all that entails I believe it's their responsibility to be honest about their history, if nothing else to make sure the partner is clear on why children aren't an option.

I recall something I read here about a MTF who is living in stealth, who hadn't told 'his' girlfriend of six months about this (I think it was in that "Ask a Transgender Anything" thread a while back). I personally find it absolutely appalling and morally abhorrent to do such a thing to someone you claim to love.

So, let me ask you a question:

Do you think it's morally sound to enter into a relationship with someone and not telling them that you weren't born as your current gender?

 

[MartianWarMachine]

Do you think it's morally sound to enter into a relationship with someone and not telling them that you weren't born as your current gender?

Yup. They should have asked first >.>

 

[Ledan]

Okay, question, what the hell is a cisman and a ciswoman?

A cisman is a man who was born with a male body, and a ciswoman is a woman who was born with a female body.

Ahhh okay, so its a "normal" person. Then whats with the cis part?

Anyways on topic now i anwsered no as i find it weird. Cant really put a finger on the exact reason i feel that way, i just do.

No, it does not mean a "Normal" person, I'll let you off this once, because I can see how easy it must be for people to make that mistake, but it implies that we are not "normal" and that's quite offensive. Trans people are as normal as cis people are. Gender identity disorder is a disease... suffering from a disease does not make a person not normal, would you say that someone with cancer was not normal?

This is why we have the term "cis", it's essentially a shorthand way of saying "not trans", without having to fall back on terms like normal. The cis part once again comes from latin, it means "On the same side as" so cissexual would mean to be on the same side as your birth sex. IE, you don't need to travel across the plain of sex, because you're already on the correct side.

RIGHT. Enough of this nonsense. As good people have said before in this forum: There is no proof of this "born into the wrong gender". You are your birth gender. End of story. You may be more feminine, or identify with female culture or be curious about their bodies: but there is no proof at all that there are "male" and "female" brains or such. No evidence that you are a "x" born in a "y" body.
You make up a distinction between gender and sex, tell us we're uneducated, yet offer no evidence for your claims. I find that you've deluded yourself. You cannot choose to be male or female. You CAN choose what kind of man or woman you want to be. Transsexual is a real thing, transgender to me is not. You have not changed your gender, only performed body modifications. You can choose to act in any manner you want, but there are some facts about yourself you cannot change. Michael Jackson was always ethnically black, he changed his skin color. You can dye your hair any color you want, but you will still be a "brunette" or "blond" or whatever. You can modify your body to any extent you want, but you can't force people to treat you differently because of these modifications.

 

[Dellaudis]

Edit: Whoops, missed the quote

 

[Dellaudis]

-snip

Yup. They should have asked first >.>

Can I ask, Is it because:

1.Don't think it matters
2.Don't think it will matter to them
3.Don't want to have to tell them
4.Don't think you should have to tell them

If its something other than what I mentioned, I'd like to know what, if you don't mind.

Just curious.

 

[orangeban]

-snip-

Perhaps rather than the transgendered person having to reveal something incredibly personal about themselves to everyone they might consider having a relationship with, maybe you should tell everyone that you refuse to date transsexual people.

Seems like it would save a lot of hassle and state mandated branding.

And they aren't "lying" to you by not telling you're they're transsexual, there simply not sharing personal secrets.

I actually do. Hell, I even explicitly ask. Worked with my current girlfriend and we love each other very much.

I personally think it's a shame that spreading this information would fall on my shoulders, though. If you look at the poll, you'll see that a majority of guys here wouldn't date MTF's, and if we take that as reasonably accurate statistics (don't think we have a large enough test group)... my opinions aren't even in the minority.

Chances are a lot of people wouldn't be as vocal as I am on the subject, but I'm a stickler for not keeping secrets and lying in a relationship. But I digress.

Anyways, since my opinion is far from rare and these people have made an active choice to change their gender, with all that entails I believe it's their responsibility to be honest about their history, if nothing else to make sure the partner is clear on why children aren't an option.

I recall something I read here about a MTF who is living in stealth, who hadn't told 'his' girlfriend of six months about this (I think it was in that "Ask a Transgender Anything" thread a while back). I personally find it absolutely appalling and morally abhorrent to do such a thing to someone you claim to love.

So, let me ask you a question:

Do you think it's morally sound to enter into a relationship with someone and not telling them that you weren't born as your current gender?

To answer your question: Depends on the relationship. If I was getting married to them, or if the relationship looked to be getting serious, then yeah, I'd tell them, because you should be open with your partner.

However, if we're just talking dating or having sex, then I see no real reason to tell them. It's not my fault they don't like trans people and I shouldn't have to tell them something extremely personal and private about myself.

And it isn't a shame that the burden to spread this information should fall on your shoulders. You are the person who doesn't like trans people, it's [/i]your[/i] responsibility to inform people of your insecurities. Just because it might be slightly inconvienient for the priviledged majority, doesn't mean you should be able to pass the burden onto a minority, especially when that burden is much greater (revealing you're trans > revealing your insecure)

We live in a world where trans people are judged for not passing as their gender, but then when they do pass as their gender, they are called out for trying to "trick" people.

Look, let's imagine a dating profile. On this dating profile the person says they are interested in women. A MTF transperson should be able to apply to this dating profile without revealing she is trans, because that profile's only specification was that the partner had to be a woman, and MTF people are women.

 

[artanis_neravar]

Do you think it's morally sound to enter into a relationship with someone and not telling them that you weren't born as your current gender?

Yup. They should have asked first >.>

I disagree, while I don't think starting to date you should have to reveal anything like that, but you should reveal before things get serious, especially because it will impact whether or not you have kids, and should probably be brought up in that same conversation.

I actually do. Hell, I even explicitly ask. Worked with my current girlfriend and we love each other very much.

I personally think it's a shame that spreading this information would fall on my shoulders, though. If you look at the poll, you'll see that a majority of guys here wouldn't date MTF's, and if we take that as reasonably accurate statistics (don't think we have a large enough test group)... my opinions aren't even in the minority.

Chances are a lot of people wouldn't be as vocal as I am on the subject, but I'm a stickler for not keeping secrets and lying in a relationship. But I digress.

Anyways, since my opinion is far from rare and these people have made an active choice to change their gender, with all that entails I believe it's their responsibility to be honest about their history, if nothing else to make sure the partner is clear on why children aren't an option.

I recall something I read here about a MTF who is living in stealth, who hadn't told 'his' girlfriend of six months about this (I think it was in that "Ask a Transgender Anything" thread a while back). I personally find it absolutely appalling and morally abhorrent to do such a thing to someone you claim to love.

So, let me ask you a question:

Do you think it's morally sound to enter into a relationship with someone and not telling them that you weren't born as your current gender?

I agree with your premise, that you should reveal any information that will directly impact the relationship, I would expect the person I am with to tell me that, just as I would expect them to tell me if they have had their tubes tied anything that will effect the relationship should be disclosed. Now I don't think that they should have to tell you when you meet, or when you start dating. Also i voted no because I want kids, and a MTF can't give me kids.

 

[kickyourass]

If she's willing to go out with me and isn't the type to bring to up every other sentence then why not?

 

[pierre666lol]

hmmmm one must always be open... ?

 

[MartianWarMachine]

-snip

Yup. They should have asked first >.>

Can I ask, Is it because:

1.Don't think it matters
2.Don't think it will matter to them
3.Don't want to have to tell them
4.Don't think you should have to tell them

If its something other than what I mentioned, I'd like to know what, if you don't mind.

Just curious.

To me, it doesn't matter if someone's body doesn't match their brain. As long as they're nice, and can drag me away from the computer, that's all I ask for x3

And also I don't think that transpeople should have to tell people that they are transgendered. I think that everyone should inform people they plan to go out with if they have any prejudices.

I also think that I'm starting to ramble and go off-topic (possibly), and that I should probably leave this thread alone now, but will no doubt end up sticking around like glue and posting more >.<

 

[NotSoLoneWanderer]

Voted Yes/Desperate. Stipulation, is that she's like Erica from Catherine. Where you wouldn't know at first glance. So my friends who don't know her will be like, wow you did well.

http://catherinethegame.wikia.com/wiki/Erica_Anderson

Mind Blown. I thought it wasn't intentional the way the game made references to her being post op female. I thought it was just me or I mis-heard or mis-read.

 

[Ledan]

*snip*

Who are you to tell me what I am?
What kind of self righteous person are you?
I know deep within myself who I truly am, you dont even fucking know me, yet you tell me what you think I am, you disgust me.
You're the same type of entitled shit that told Blacks they werent people and that they never could be.

Vampires dont exist, and the word Genius means nothing, I'm talking about what I truly am on the inside, and you outright insult me by telling me I'm pretending?!

Fuck you, I'd rather keep this hatchet nice and raised, then bother wasting any more breath on you, you retch.

Yes, I think you're pretending to be something you're not. I find it amusing that you accuse me of judging you without knowing you, yet you judge me without knowing me either.
So I'm a racist bigot? Seems like you don't care about being right or wrong, you just want to fight and sling mud at people. So I could call you a slew of unpleasantries, but I'll settle for saying that you are not a good person and rather immature.
You aren't accepting the fact that you are male. What part of you was born wrong? There is no evidence for dualism in gender, no evidence for an "x" brain in a "y" body. Insult me as much as you want, but your argument is full of hot air.
You are a person, never said you weren't. You have full rights to do what you want with your body. You have full rights to not be discriminated against due to your modifications. I'd never take any of these away from you. I'd be your friend, if you were a good person (which as I've covered, you are not). But I wouldn't date you, and that's my right.
It is also my right to believe that you are deluded. Are you so insecure that you care about what opinion some random guy on the internet has about transgender people? It isn't an insult to you personally, it's just my belief about transgenders. I don't believe in a separation of gender and sex. Just like I don't believe in the soul. I don't care if you find either of those beliefs offensive. Of the two of us, you can't stand people having a different view from yours.
I've already reported you, you were aggressive from the moment you started posting in this thread, and in case you didn't know ad hominem attacks are prohibited on this site.

 

[artanis_neravar]

*snip*

I will still respond to your treatment of me as male, as if I were born female. I honestly dont give a fuck about your own gender bias, but I expect to be treated as a woman. I will treat you as a man, I expect the same respect.

Because you look like one? Then I demand to be treated like a vampire if I look like one. You haven't changed the fact that you are male. XY. Just like I havent changed myself from being human.

No, not because I look female, because I Identify as female, it is part of who I am. You disregarding that is the same as telling a gay person they're straight, you're not changing the truth, but attempting to ignore it.

And if I identify myself as a genius? Or vampire? Wouldn't make either of them true. You're still male. You may feel culturally more like a woman, but you will still be biologically male. I may concede to treat you like a woman/man, but you will never be just a woman. You'd be something new.
Anyways, how bout we bury the hatchet? Seems like we're not really going anywhere.

Who are you to tell me what I am?
What kind of self righteous person are you?
I know deep within myself who I truly am, you dont even fucking know me, yet you tell me what you think I am, you disgust me.
You're the same type of entitled shit that told Blacks they werent people and that they never could be.

Vampires dont exist, and the word Genius means nothing, I'm talking about what I truly am on the inside, and you outright insult me by telling me I'm pretending?!

Fuck you, I'd rather keep this hatchet nice and raised, then bother wasting any more breath on you, you retch.

If I change my last name to Sheen, have facial reconstruction surgery to make myself look like Charlie Sheen, and believe he is my father does that make me his son?

 

[MartianWarMachine]

If I change my last name to Sheen, have facial reconstruction surgery to make myself look like Charlie Sheen, and believe he is my father does that make me his son?

If he adopts you, then yes x3