Poll: You can have sex with the celebrity of your choice but they'll tell the world of your performance.

Basement Cat

Keeping the Peace is Relaxing
Jul 26, 2012
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I know this isn't just a guy thing!

At some point in their life it's everybody's fantasy to have sex with one famous man or woman they find attractive. Guys are notorious for saying "Oh, I'd teach HER something!"

This was common with guys talking about Madonna in the late 80's and early 90's. But a few comedians grokked that someone like Madonna might be more than a little out of their league in bed sports.

A while back some guy in Hawaii sort-of-boasted of having a one night stand with Britney Spears and recording it. He didn't post it on line or anything because he said that he was embarrassed by his poor performance. Alcohol was involved and from personal experience I know that too much alcohol can cut your performance in bed down at the knees.[footnote]In a not-good BAD way. *sigh*[/footnote]

So here's the game: You can have sex with any famous person--modern or historical (Cleopatra anyone?) BUT the world will hear from that person just how good/lousy you were at sex!!!

EDIT: You would have a three day weekend together.

Would you go through with it and who would it be? Post pictures of said celebrity if you can.



For myself...I'm on the fence. Frankly I can't (as of this writing) think of any celebrity who'd I'm particularly attracted to enough to try this. I'll get back to you on it.

What about you?



P.S. Escapist forum celebrities DON'T count--except for their avatars. ^_^
 

Frasman

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Aug 4, 2010
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Sure, i'll just put on a Richard Nixon mask and give a fake name.

Plus I'll go with a C level celebrity so that way nobody would actually care at a international or even national level. Like a local weather girl or a not to famous porn star.

Hmmmmm..........I'll go with......Paulina Gretzky.
 

DazZ.

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Jun 4, 2009
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Yes.

Girls tell everyone anyway and I'm not ashamed of my performance as a whole, obviously there have been inadequate times that have gone "tits up" as it were.

Picking one would be the hard part.
 

Vegosiux

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May 18, 2011
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I'm not worried about what they would say about me. I'm more worried about whether or not I can handle the potential libel lawsuits when I talk to the world about their performance.

Or, even worse, the potential disappointment, tsk tsk.
 

Andy Shandy

Fucked if I know
Jun 7, 2010
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Yeah, why not. A shot with something like Alison Brie or Scarlett Johansson and the only catch is they judge my performance and can tell anyone.

Yeah, I'd take that risk for someone like this



[sub]There are so many better/worse (depending on your view) that I could post here, but I don't want to be warned! [/sub]
 

bananafishtoday

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Nov 30, 2012
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boots said:
Yes. Ryan Gosling.

What's that you say? Potential for global gossip mag coverage and lifetime humiliation? Well, in that case...

I was reading this thread thinking about what my reply should be, but clearly any answer that isn't "Ryan Gosling" is incorrect.

Plus with the OP's "tell the world" stipulation, I know that Ryan Gosling would give the sweetest, most empathetic explanation imaginable if things were less than stellar.
 

The Pumpkin Witch

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Sep 21, 2012
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I'd go for Hugh Jackman. That man is as hot and sexy as they come. I wouldn't worry if he said I wasn't best he'd ever been or even close. A man like that could go through so many girls women wouldn't care. Yum!









 

AngloDoom

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Aug 2, 2008
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Johnny Depp, just so I could see the pained look on thousands of women's faces when I tell them.
 

tippy2k2

Beloved Tyrant
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Hell to the yeah I would!


...do you think I could convince her to invite her Black Swan co-star Mila? :)

If she's the one running around telling everyone that I got to tap that, that's way less work than I'd have to do! Everyone wins!
 

Evil Smurf

Admin of Catoholics Anonymous
Nov 11, 2011
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Celebrity or porn star?
<spoiler=Celebrity>
Rose McGowan
http://img.ibtimes.com/www/data/images/full/2011/08/12/145975-cast-member-rose-mcgowan-arrives-at-the-film-premiere-of-conan-the-bar.jpg<spoiler=Porn Star>Feye Reaganhttp://beststarphoto.com/images/faye-reagan-01.jpg

FYI: I am pretty good in bed.
 

Rblade

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Mar 1, 2010
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there is probably not a better situation in the world for "doesn't matter had sex"

I mean really, anyone saying. "meh, but you sucked at it." can be easily countered with "did you have sex with one of the most physically attractive women on this planet? I didn't think so." probably Chantal Janzen btw, google it.

Captcha: "needs must" yes indeed.
 

Hectix777

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Feb 26, 2011
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Yes, and with Angie Harmon. If you watch Conan you'll know why, and if you knew that reason, wouldn't you?
 

DoomyMcDoom

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Jul 4, 2008
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I dunno who I'd pick, hell I'm not picky really, as long as THEY weren't horrible in bed.

But last time I checked, I've never heard tell of my performance being any less than pretty damn good, I'm not going to claim to be god's gift to sex, but I know what I'm doing and I do whatever I do as well as I am able, life is art people, life is art.
 

Vegosiux

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May 18, 2011
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Rblade said:
there is probably not a better situation in the world for "doesn't matter had sex"
If "doesn't matter, had sex" is all you're after, you have better situations all the time simply by virtue of them being a lot more realistic ^^ Shameless pragmatism, ho!

I mean really, anyone saying. "meh, but you sucked at it." can be easily countered with "did you have sex with one of the most physically attractive women on this planet? I didn't think so." probably Chantal Janzen btw, google it.
Well, I'm pretty sure winning a lottery (which is kind of how the thread is presented, you just happen to have won a ticket to the bed of whichever celebrity you happen to have the hots for) isn't an achievement on its own, you know...

Oh, but then again my guidelines for "physically attractive" are odd as well. Along the lines of "How does she look on Monday morning, before the coffee?" Then again, sex is fun because sex is fun, not because of the perceived bragging rights that according to some attitudes I can't comprehend come with it...
 

Lt._nefarious

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Apr 11, 2012
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Evil Smurf said:
<spoiler=Porn Star>Feye Reaganhttp://beststarphoto.com/images/faye-reagan-01.jpg
I second that.

Anyway... Yes, yes I would. Although I'd probably make sure to spend extra time on purely pleasing her. Of course, this raises a question; would she tell the world if she'd be done for statutory rape outside of Britain. If I did her in America and she told everyone she'd be put on the sex offenders register. Because the legal sex age is lower here and I ain't 18.

Who would it be?

<spoiler=Jennifer Carpenter>http://darklydexter.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/JenniferCarpenterCarloAllegri1.jpg

Because GOD DAMN is she sexy! I couldn't pass up a chance to "tap dat". I respect Milla Jovovich too much to do the shit I'd want to do with her to her and Summer Glau scares me for some reason.
 

Sunrider

Add a beat to normality
Nov 16, 2009
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I have enough confidence to think that I wouldn't be the worst they've ever had, even if I probably wouldn't be close to the best either, so hells to the yes. Scarlett Johansson or Milla Jovovich would be my victims. Here's my number. Call me maybe.
 

templar1138a

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Dec 1, 2010
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Interesting situation. I chose "Other."

First off, the celebrities I'd want to do:




As for why I chose other: I'm not very experienced in intercourse itself. However, I DO have a lot of experience with certain uses of my mouth.

Trust me guys: Willingness to do that by itself is enough to gain some major points.