Poll: Your view on parents spanking their children?

[Froggy Slayer]

The most disgusting thing about these threads is how judgmental the anti-spankers get. "you're a bad parent. You need therapy. You're hurting the innocent! Spanking is sexual!" Yet the pro-spankers say it's all cool if you want to spank or not, they are leaving it up to the parent to decide what is right for their own kids. No one is advocating abuse, no matter how much some of you may want to spin it to sound like that.

I wanted to say something like that but you've put it far better than I could.

Thank you for the applause. It grinds my gears with all these accusations flying around. If you weren't spanked, then you have no place telling everyone that was spanked that they are victims or child abusers. Let the people who were spanked rant about how they were abused when they were naughty.

And being bashed with pots and getting concussions doesn't count for this conversation. That's just fucked up.

And it's the people who were spanked who AREN'T ranting. It always seems to be the ones who don't know what they're talking about that have the most to say.

Riiiiiiight, it's totally not some pro-spanking people blathering about how a lack of spanking is ruining the next generation.

.
I've seen two so far. You've got nothing to add here, really.

If he's going to pretend all the pro-spanking people aren't ranting then I'm going to point out that some are.

I wouldn't even call myself pro-spanking, to be honest. I see why you might give a child a little slap on the wrist, but no more. That's all my parents ever did, anyhow. No anger involved anywhere there. Even spanking is too extreme for my tastes. What's pissing me off is people saying that there aren't different degrees of physical punishment (there are, and only the lightest degree should be permitted), and people saying that my parents should be sterilised.

Weren't you the person who was just saying it was to get the attention of the kid? Just to clear things up, there'd be a lot to read and it seems easier to ask you directly.

Yes I was. I'm anti-spanking but pro 'slap/tap' on the wrist.

Your position seems inconsistent then if you're agreeing with what I stated. If it was merely to get their attention, how is it a punishment then?

I think that the light tap/slap should be the thing that gets the child's attention for the actual verbal punishment. Sorry, it's 3 in the morning here. I should probably get some sleep, or I'll stop making sense completely.

 

[kgpspyguy]

While I disagree with parents spanking their kids as discipline method #1 I defiantly disagree with the government deciding how people should raise their kids.

By that logic I should be allowed to raise my son or daughter to hate jews, eat babies on sundays, and kick puppies. And I should inflict punishment by beating and whipping with a knife tied to some string and maybe break some of his/her toes if it's really bad, and teach him/her to have sex with everyone they meet at least once whether the person wants to or not.

Cus it's my right to raise my child how I want right?

I know I totally went overboard lol but really, if the government didn't regulate at least a little bit on how parents raised their kids....

I think it is good that PHYSICAL FUCKING ASSAULT is now illegal. It's there to inflict extreme pain and suffering on a developing human being to submit them to your will. That shit is fucking ... It makes me angry. It IS brainwashing through physical torture. You cannot argue with that really... Granted it's certainly not the worst of course but it is what it is.

Yeahhh.. let's teach our kids that when one does something wrong they should be beaten or smacked. We want a peaceful society but won't even solve our issues with our kids without violence.

Good on new zealand.

It's a shame, I don't think america will ever adopt such a policy, we're such a backwards ass country. Amurica, fuck yeah.

And how many children have you raised exactly?

 

[kgpspyguy]

The most disgusting thing about these threads is how judgmental the anti-spankers get. "you're a bad parent. You need therapy. You're hurting the innocent! Spanking is sexual!" Yet the pro-spankers say it's all cool if you want to spank or not, they are leaving it up to the parent to decide what is right for their own kids. No one is advocating abuse, no matter how much some of you may want to spin it to sound like that.

I wanted to say something like that but you've put it far better than I could.

Thank you for the applause. It grinds my gears with all these accusations flying around. If you weren't spanked, then you have no place telling everyone that was spanked that they are victims or child abusers. Let the people who were spanked rant about how they were abused when they were naughty.

And being bashed with pots and getting concussions doesn't count for this conversation. That's just fucked up.

And it's the people who were spanked who AREN'T ranting. It always seems to be the ones who don't know what they're talking about that have the most to say.

Your both bloody GENIUSES!

 

[Charli]

I perceive a 'spank' to be different from a 'smack'.

Sadly experts and many people have not yet been able to differentiate.

A 'spank' feels more like a push, a pulled punch, a very soft blow to the bum to physically 'alert' the child to fact that their behavior (usually trantrums and other such out of control-isms) is not to be tolerated. Because screaming and shouting at them is competing with their own screaming and yelling. It doesn't work.

A smack, or slap is a full forced blow and should never under any circumstances be used on an minor. Unless they're... I don't know having a fit and that is the only way to break them out of it.

Hense the laws in place. Quite a few children do not respond behaviorally to verbal-only stimuli.
Alot strongly respond to physical stimuli however.
It should be used. But only when appropriate.

Abuse is not the same as a spank. Anyone leaping to the defense of 'the poor children' has never done fair and equal studies on children who have been 'spanked'. Only on those from prisons and troubled backgrounds and then proclaim: "YES MY FINDINGS ARE ABSOLUTE!" ...no, no they are not.

I was 'spanked' as a child and no one loves or respects their parents as much as I do.
True I don't get along with my Grandparents, but... that's just just from learning as I grew up my Grandmother is practically a highschool bully who never grew up. Live and Learn.

 

[Froggy Slayer]

The most disgusting thing about these threads is how judgmental the anti-spankers get. "you're a bad parent. You need therapy. You're hurting the innocent! Spanking is sexual!" Yet the pro-spankers say it's all cool if you want to spank or not, they are leaving it up to the parent to decide what is right for their own kids. No one is advocating abuse, no matter how much some of you may want to spin it to sound like that.

I wanted to say something like that but you've put it far better than I could.

Thank you for the applause. It grinds my gears with all these accusations flying around. If you weren't spanked, then you have no place telling everyone that was spanked that they are victims or child abusers. Let the people who were spanked rant about how they were abused when they were naughty.

And being bashed with pots and getting concussions doesn't count for this conversation. That's just fucked up.

And it's the people who were spanked who AREN'T ranting. It always seems to be the ones who don't know what they're talking about that have the most to say.

Riiiiiiight, it's totally not some pro-spanking people blathering about how a lack of spanking is ruining the next generation.

.
I've seen two so far. You've got nothing to add here, really.

If he's going to pretend all the pro-spanking people aren't ranting then I'm going to point out that some are.

I wouldn't even call myself pro-spanking, to be honest. I see why you might give a child a little slap on the wrist, but no more. That's all my parents ever did, anyhow. No anger involved anywhere there. Even spanking is too extreme for my tastes. What's pissing me off is people saying that there aren't different degrees of physical punishment (there are, and only the lightest degree should be permitted), and people saying that my parents should be sterilised.

Weren't you the person who was just saying it was to get the attention of the kid? Just to clear things up, there'd be a lot to read and it seems easier to ask you directly.

Yes I was. I'm anti-spanking but pro 'slap/tap' on the wrist.

Your position seems inconsistent then if you're agreeing with what I stated. If it was merely to get their attention, how is it a punishment then?

I think that the light tap/slap should be the thing that gets the child's attention for the actual verbal punishment. Sorry, it's 3 in the morning here. I should probably get some sleep, or I'll stop making sense completely.

If it's on the level of just tapping someone's shoulder so they look at you... why are you mentioning it in a thread on spanking? I'm pretty sure people aren't referring to just touching someone. And why touch them instead of getting their attention verbally?

It makes sure that the child is focused more. Simply saying something to them on it's own sometimes isn't enough.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some sleep to do.

 

[llubtoille]

As someone who grew up with an aggressive father,
my first thought is that eventually the kids will become adults,
while the parents become more elderly,
then an adult with repressed anger issues might think of revenge for a 20 year old grudge.

I think there's a fine line with hitting your kids,
if they end up fearing and hating you, then you've crossed that line.

 

[Charli]

I perceive a 'spank' to be different from a 'smack'.

Sadly experts and many people have not yet been able to differentiate.

Sorry, but are we supposed to take your word that you know better than experts and they just can't differentiate?

Mmmmm, yeah I'm just going to say yeah on that one. 'Experts', Is a very loose term.
Paid agenda yes-men? Mmmm yeah I think that sounds more accurate.



So, either take my word or don't. I never said 'you' had to. This me, listing my own experiences, views and own studies on the matter*, and I find alot of misconstrued studies thrown about in these cases. Some for good, genial reasons. Others, for not so good ones.

My parents never 'slapped' me. I know what a slap/smack feels like, and I know what they did to stop me behaving like a pissant. The force behind it is nowhere near the same.
Excessive force is bad. And it's difficult to tell when a parent is using malicious intent or concern for their child's negative behavior. But it can be done and it shouldn't be government regulated.
That's my opinion, don't care really if you don't care for it. Don't particularly care what 'experts' have to say on it either. It was 'experts' that caused alot of really stupid laws be passed. I don't trust what they put out worth a hill of beans dear sir.

And so help me god Chrome if you red line BEHAVIOUR one more time I will so be going back to firefox. Hear me?!

*understanding me here? I was not opening this up to a discussion that has very little to do with the topic and more on my definition of actions.

 

[DarkRyter]

Spanking doesn't work.

Honestly, having a parent at all is only detrimental to healthy growth and development. All the smartest, nicest, most accomplished individuals I can think of are orphans.

 

[Altorin]

A Healthy Parent/Child relationship needs an element of fear. People will say that that's not true, but I don't think they really get it. If you need to hit your kids for them to fear and respect you, then more power to you, just don't do it when you're drunk and don't actually injure them.

That all sounds horrible, but I think it's true