Poll: Your view on parents spanking their children?

[Froggy Slayer]

The most disgusting thing about these threads is how judgmental the anti-spankers get. "you're a bad parent. You need therapy. You're hurting the innocent! Spanking is sexual!" Yet the pro-spankers say it's all cool if you want to spank or not, they are leaving it up to the parent to decide what is right for their own kids. No one is advocating abuse, no matter how much some of you may want to spin it to sound like that.

I wanted to say something like that but you've put it far better than I could.

Thank you for the applause. It grinds my gears with all these accusations flying around. If you weren't spanked, then you have no place telling everyone that was spanked that they are victims or child abusers. Let the people who were spanked rant about how they were abused when they were naughty.

And being bashed with pots and getting concussions doesn't count for this conversation. That's just fucked up.

And it's the people who were spanked who AREN'T ranting. It always seems to be the ones who don't know what they're talking about that have the most to say.

Riiiiiiight, it's totally not some pro-spanking people blathering about how a lack of spanking is ruining the next generation.

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I've seen two so far. You've got nothing to add here, really.

If he's going to pretend all the pro-spanking people aren't ranting then I'm going to point out that some are.

I wouldn't even call myself pro-spanking, to be honest. I see why you might give a child a little slap on the wrist, but no more. That's all my parents ever did, anyhow. No anger involved anywhere there. Even spanking is too extreme for my tastes. What's pissing me off is people saying that there aren't different degrees of physical punishment (there are, and only the lightest degree should be permitted), and people saying that my parents should be sterilised.

 

[TheIronRuler]

The most disgusting thing about these threads is how judgmental the anti-spankers get. "you're a bad parent. You need therapy. You're hurting the innocent! Spanking is sexual!" Yet the pro-spankers say it's all cool if you want to spank or not, they are leaving it up to the parent to decide what is right for their own kids. No one is advocating abuse, no matter how much some of you may want to spin it to sound like that.

I wanted to say something like that but you've put it far better than I could.

Thank you for the applause. It grinds my gears with all these accusations flying around. If you weren't spanked, then you have no place telling everyone that was spanked that they are victims or child abusers. Let the people who were spanked rant about how they were abused when they were naughty.

And being bashed with pots and getting concussions doesn't count for this conversation. That's just fucked up.

And it's the people who were spanked who AREN'T ranting. It always seems to be the ones who don't know what they're talking about that have the most to say.

Riiiiiiight, it's totally not some pro-spanking people blathering about how a lack of spanking is ruining the next generation.

.
I've seen two so far. You've got nothing to add here, really.

If he's going to pretend all the pro-spanking people aren't ranting then I'm going to point out that some are.

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He didn't say "all". You did. Generalizaion doesn't help anyone and you starting an argument over it is plain silly. I've seen two that held that opinion, and in this forum its a tiny minority,

 

[TheIronRuler]

The most disgusting thing about these threads is how judgmental the anti-spankers get. "you're a bad parent. You need therapy. You're hurting the innocent! Spanking is sexual!" Yet the pro-spankers say it's all cool if you want to spank or not, they are leaving it up to the parent to decide what is right for their own kids. No one is advocating abuse, no matter how much some of you may want to spin it to sound like that.

I wanted to say something like that but you've put it far better than I could.

Thank you for the applause. It grinds my gears with all these accusations flying around. If you weren't spanked, then you have no place telling everyone that was spanked that they are victims or child abusers. Let the people who were spanked rant about how they were abused when they were naughty.

And being bashed with pots and getting concussions doesn't count for this conversation. That's just fucked up.

And it's the people who were spanked who AREN'T ranting. It always seems to be the ones who don't know what they're talking about that have the most to say.

Riiiiiiight, it's totally not some pro-spanking people blathering about how a lack of spanking is ruining the next generation.

.
I've seen two so far. You've got nothing to add here, really.

If he's going to pretend all the pro-spanking people aren't ranting then I'm going to point out that some are.

.
He didn't say "all". You did. Generalizaion doesn't help anyone and you starting an argument over it is plain silly. I've seen two that held that opinion, and in this forum its a tiny minority,

He said this: "And it's the people who were spanked who AREN'T ranting. "

So yeah, no.

And what you personally recall seeing, unless you looked through the thread, can just be a comment on how much you noticed.

.
He was saying that he haven't seen any pro-spanking people ranting.

The same could have been said about you overblowing one posters comment into the world disagreeing with you.

We're overanalyzing this.

 

[Eppy (Bored)]

Spanking breeds sociopathy. Children should never be spanked. That kind of conditioning doesn't teach anything. Children between two and three should be able to start understanding cause and effect at a level where right and wrong can be adequately explained. Before that, if they throw a fit the best thing anybody can do is refuse to acknowledge it.

Now, to clarify, I refer specifically to hitting on the buttocks. If a two-year-old refuses to stop grabbing something a quick tap (emphasis on TAP, not WHACK) on the hands is an effective way to communicate that a parent is serious, but if you grab a kid, bend him over your knee and thrash his butt he's most likely going upset and confused; there is no visible connection between his immediate suffering and whatever it is he has done, but he does know that the person he trusts most has grabbed him, restrained him in a humiliating position and inflicted extreme suffering on a part of his body he can't even see.

 

[TheIronRuler]

The most disgusting thing about these threads is how judgmental the anti-spankers get. "you're a bad parent. You need therapy. You're hurting the innocent! Spanking is sexual!" Yet the pro-spankers say it's all cool if you want to spank or not, they are leaving it up to the parent to decide what is right for their own kids. No one is advocating abuse, no matter how much some of you may want to spin it to sound like that.

I wanted to say something like that but you've put it far better than I could.

Thank you for the applause. It grinds my gears with all these accusations flying around. If you weren't spanked, then you have no place telling everyone that was spanked that they are victims or child abusers. Let the people who were spanked rant about how they were abused when they were naughty.

And being bashed with pots and getting concussions doesn't count for this conversation. That's just fucked up.

And it's the people who were spanked who AREN'T ranting. It always seems to be the ones who don't know what they're talking about that have the most to say.

Riiiiiiight, it's totally not some pro-spanking people blathering about how a lack of spanking is ruining the next generation.

.
I've seen two so far. You've got nothing to add here, really.

If he's going to pretend all the pro-spanking people aren't ranting then I'm going to point out that some are.

.
He didn't say "all". You did. Generalizaion doesn't help anyone and you starting an argument over it is plain silly. I've seen two that held that opinion, and in this forum its a tiny minority,

He said this: "And it's the people who were spanked who AREN'T ranting. "

So yeah, no.

And what you personally recall seeing, unless you looked through the thread, can just be a comment on how much you noticed.

.
He was saying that he haven't seen any pro-spanking people ranting.

The same could have been said about you overblowing one posters comment into the world disagreeing with you.

We're overanalyzing this.

So there wasn't a rant that devolved into talking about going back to the stone age. Okay, sure.

.
I have seen users writing many paragraphs over how spanking is wrong. I don't see that post as a rant. You can call it all you like, s/he can defend himself/herself.
I got no stake in this current argument. Just don't assume other people meant something when they haven't written that in their post.

 

[Yopaz]

Using violence as a disciplinary action shows your kids that violence can be accepted. You're using a way to tell them they've done something wrong and at the same time you are giving them a signal that violence is right.

Now I live in a country where it's illegal to spank kids and I have never been spanked. I have been in countries where kids get spanked and obviously I was behaving a lot better than kids my age did there.

 

[TheIronRuler]

Spanking breeds sociopathy. Children should never be spanked. That kind of conditioning doesn't teach anything. Children between two and three should be able to start understanding cause and effect at a level where right and wrong can be adequately explained. Before that, if they throw a fit the best thing anybody can do is refuse to acknowledge it.

Now, to clarify, I refer specifically to hitting on the buttocks. If a two-year-old refuses to stop grabbing something a quick tap (emphasis on TAP, not WHACK) on the hands is an effective way to communicate that a parent is serious, but if you grab a kid, bend him over your knee and thrash his butt he's most likely going upset and confused; there is no visible connection between his immediate suffering and whatever it is he has done, but he does know that the person he trusts most has grabbed him, restrained him in a humiliating position and inflicted extreme suffering on a part of his body he can't even see.

.
This first sentence sounds... Unreal. At the end you explain yourself better. So Pain can be used to teach a child right from wrong, but spanking doesn't tell the child the direct consequence of his actions, right? Tell me if I've got a mistake somewhere.

 

[TheIronRuler]

Using violence as a disciplinary action shows your kids that violence can be accepted. You're using a way to tell them they've done something wrong and at the same time you are giving them a signal that violence is right.

Now I live in a country where it's illegal to spank kids and I have never been spanked. I have been in countries where kids get spanked and obviously I was behaving a lot better than kids my age did there.

.
Violence is wrong? More than half of the sports I did in school included some sort of violence. Hell, gym lessons wre violent. Every damn recess was violent, as we rushed to the field and secure a spot for us to play soccer in.

Your behaving better than kids who live in counties where spanking is peritted is solely circumstantial. It doesn't include a direct link of effect and result as there are may other factors to take into account here besides violence to children. That being legal doesnt mean parents used it on their children.

 

[Darkmantle]

Spanking breeds sociopathy. Children should never be spanked. That kind of conditioning doesn't teach anything. Children between two and three should be able to start understanding cause and effect at a level where right and wrong can be adequately explained. Before that, if they throw a fit the best thing anybody can do is refuse to acknowledge it.

Now, to clarify, I refer specifically to hitting on the buttocks. If a two-year-old refuses to stop grabbing something a quick tap (emphasis on TAP, not WHACK) on the hands is an effective way to communicate that a parent is serious, but if you grab a kid, bend him over your knee and thrash his butt he's most likely going upset and confused; there is no visible connection between his immediate suffering and whatever it is he has done, but he does know that the person he trusts most has grabbed him, restrained him in a humiliating position and inflicted extreme suffering on a part of his body he can't even see.

.
This first sentence sounds... Unreal. At the end you explain yourself better. So Pain can be used to teach a child right from wrong, but spanking doesn't tell the child the direct consequence of his actions, right? Tell me if I've got a mistake somewhere.

I think he means that spanking has severe unintended side effects, such as teaching a kid hitting when mad is ok, or breaking your children's trust, teaching them to fear you instead of the action that prompted the spanking.

 

[Froggy Slayer]

Spanking breeds sociopathy. Children should never be spanked. That kind of conditioning doesn't teach anything. Children between two and three should be able to start understanding cause and effect at a level where right and wrong can be adequately explained. Before that, if they throw a fit the best thing anybody can do is refuse to acknowledge it.

Now, to clarify, I refer specifically to hitting on the buttocks. If a two-year-old refuses to stop grabbing something a quick tap (emphasis on TAP, not WHACK) on the hands is an effective way to communicate that a parent is serious, but if you grab a kid, bend him over your knee and thrash his butt he's most likely going upset and confused; there is no visible connection between his immediate suffering and whatever it is he has done, but he does know that the person he trusts most has grabbed him, restrained him in a humiliating position and inflicted extreme suffering on a part of his body he can't even see.

This (the tap, though my mum used the work slap. It sounds more visceral to a 2 year old) is what my mum did to me, but Percy still seems to believe that my parents beat me mercilessly with a rod or something similar. I must agree with you here good sir Eppy. Have some complimentary wine.

 

[DesertMummy]

Butter it up however you like, the fact of the matter is that you are literally threatening a child, who's mind likely hasn't even fully developed, with physical violence. In my mind, that is sick, cruel, and maybe even a little sadistic.

 

[Froggy Slayer]

The most disgusting thing about these threads is how judgmental the anti-spankers get. "you're a bad parent. You need therapy. You're hurting the innocent! Spanking is sexual!" Yet the pro-spankers say it's all cool if you want to spank or not, they are leaving it up to the parent to decide what is right for their own kids. No one is advocating abuse, no matter how much some of you may want to spin it to sound like that.

I wanted to say something like that but you've put it far better than I could.

Thank you for the applause. It grinds my gears with all these accusations flying around. If you weren't spanked, then you have no place telling everyone that was spanked that they are victims or child abusers. Let the people who were spanked rant about how they were abused when they were naughty.

And being bashed with pots and getting concussions doesn't count for this conversation. That's just fucked up.

And it's the people who were spanked who AREN'T ranting. It always seems to be the ones who don't know what they're talking about that have the most to say.

Riiiiiiight, it's totally not some pro-spanking people blathering about how a lack of spanking is ruining the next generation.

.
I've seen two so far. You've got nothing to add here, really.

If he's going to pretend all the pro-spanking people aren't ranting then I'm going to point out that some are.

I wouldn't even call myself pro-spanking, to be honest. I see why you might give a child a little slap on the wrist, but no more. That's all my parents ever did, anyhow. No anger involved anywhere there. Even spanking is too extreme for my tastes. What's pissing me off is people saying that there aren't different degrees of physical punishment (there are, and only the lightest degree should be permitted), and people saying that my parents should be sterilised.

Weren't you the person who was just saying it was to get the attention of the kid? Just to clear things up, there'd be a lot to read and it seems easier to ask you directly.

Yes I was. I'm anti-spanking but pro 'slap/tap' on the wrist.

 

[Yopaz]

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Violence is wrong? More than half of the sports I did in school included some sort of violence. Hell, gym lessons wre violent. Every damn recess was violent, as we rushed to the field and secure a spot for us to play soccer in.

Not sure what kind of sports you played, but in soccer you might get a yellow or a red card for actually being more violent than what it calls for. Try to go for someone's legs rather than the ball and you might be taken out of the game. Do serious damage on a professional level and you ruin your entire career in sports. Throw a punch in hockey and you might get put in a penalty box. Now if I punch someone in the street I can even end up in jail, because according to the laws of most countries, physical violence is actually a crime. If vi
lloence isn't wrong as you say, why are so many facing trial on assault charges every year? Also why are so many convicted and sentenced time in jail for it? Also please don't bring up the subject of war here, that would just be bullshit since there are in fact laws to regulate how we act in war too.

Your behaving better than kids who live in counties where spanking is peritted is solely circumstantial. It doesn't include a direct link of effect and result as there are may other factors to take into account here besides violence to children. That being legal doesnt mean parents used it on their children.

I have friends and family in these countries so I have more than just a glance at how things are on the surface. The fact that I actually know how thew laws work should tell you as much. I also never said that this proves spanking is bad. I just stated this because it shows that spanking isn't necessary. I have never been spanked, I do not have problems behaving. I know people who have been spanked, some behave well, some are among the worst people I have ever met. Discipline is more than causing pain and being a dictator. Also from my brief studies of psychology and studies on education I can tell you that experts say punishment isn't anywhere near as effective as rewards and praise.

 

[GLo Jones]

It would be completely socially unacceptable for me to strike my girlfriend for playing up, so I don't see why it should be any different with a child, children are people too.

When you see some people on the news in care homes occasionally taking their frustration out on the old people they're taking care of, people are up in arms. "These people need to be taken care of, not punished for their own ineptitude or difficulty!"

The polls here show a pretty worrying figures to me. Why the fuck is there a double standard for kids?

I can agree with this. Except for its even worse on children because their still developing, mentally and socially so hitting them creates a more fearful, less nurturing environment. When your child shoots up a place you kinda have to blame yourself for not, earlier, teaching him better instead of instilling fear of you into his little mind.

Exactly. It's a crucial period of development, and I don't think violence should ever be introduced as an acceptable way of getting your way, especially at that stage.

I actually found this video earlier, but forgot to put it in my original post: