Poll: Your view on parents spanking their children?

[Moonlight Butterfly]

I don't like it.

I think time out is a better form of punishment.

My dad was really violent when I was younger and he accidentally broke my arm when I failed my cycling proficiency test and he was angry. I think that's given me a poor view of such punishment. I also went to infant school (kindergarten for you Americans) with a black eye once or twice after getting in the way of him and my mum fighting.

If I had a kid I would never hit them.

 

[Froggy Slayer]

Whenever my mum slapped me, it was only lightly, only so the shock of it would get my attention for the actual punishment; her verbally stating what I had done wrong. Spanking itself shouldn't be used as a punishment; violence shouldn't be a punishment.

 

[Lunar Templar]

I'm ok with it, since i know stuff like time outs and getting sent to me room weren't the most effective tools to use on me

It's a shame, I don't think america will ever adopt such a policy, we're such a backwards ass country. Amurica, fuck yeah.

yeah ....

we just have parents to spineless to discipline their kids, and think it's every body else's job to 'protect they're kids form the bad things' instead of theirs

-.- go us ....

 

[Froggy Slayer]

Look, I'm not going to dispute this with you right now. My parents aren't bad people; the world isn't that black and white.

Yeah I bet they're great. What better way to show someone you love them than by hitting them.

Maybe spanking is wrong.

There is no maybe. Spanking IS wrong.

Though my mother didn't use an inanimate object at all; she slapped me very lightly on my hand.

It's funny how hard you're trying to justify the abuse you suffered. Instead of simply acknowledging that your mother hit you you feel the need to use words like "very lightly", as if that somehow makes it better.

Hell, if I have kids I'm not going to spank them; I'm just not that kind of person

And I'm glad you won't. Unfortunately for me, what with my anger issues and anxiety disorder, I won't be able to have kids.

But the fact that you're calling my mother a bad person for slapping me lightly is just fucking offensive.

The fact that you're trying to justify abuse is even more offensive to me.

There are degrees to everything, everything is shades of gray.

Except when it comes to physical abuse there are no degrees. It's one of the few things in life that is actually black and white. If you hit your children you are abusing them. It doesn't matter if you only "lightly" hit them with a belt once in a while or if you smash their heads on the kitchen table. It's abuse, plain and simple.

I have a normal life; I'm generally a normal person. She never did anything past age 3 anyway.

Hitting a child under the age of three. How fun.

She'd only do it if I was in danger; for example if I was about to run out into a road after she had told me not to.

And it's totally acceptable to let a child under the age of three unsupervised long enough for him to almost get run over by a car. I'm sure there are other instances of abuse, after all people don't just hit once and forget about it. Abuse is a chronic illness. However, I understand if you don't feel comfortable talking about them. It was painful for me too. Trying to stop justifying abuse is hard, especially when the culprit is one of your parents.

I wasn't spanked, I was slapped. It wasn't used as a punishment, it was a light slap on the wrist to get my attention so that she knew that I was listening. It's the same as say, a teacher putting their hand on your shoulder firmly before reprimanding you. I remember clearly that I wasn't even in pain; it was more the sudden shock that surprised me into listening. And the yes, 'very lightly' DOES make it better than 'holding the child down and beating them mercilessly'. Lets look at another area; verbal sanctions. If the parent simply states strongly what is wrong, that is OK. If the parent instead uses the opportunity to abuse the child mentally; by blaming them for greater problems, shouting too loudly or resorting to name-calling then THAT is wrong. I believe that once the child is in obvious distress, that THEN you are in wrong. To be fair, I don't actually remember the age that I was, but I remember that I WAS being properly supervised; but I was a child. Children are fast and quite smart. I tried to run for the road, and slipped from my Mums grasp for a second, she had to run after me to catch me.

 

[anthony87]

Spanking and physical punishment is nothing but revenge. You spank your children because you are angry at them and want to take your anger out on your children. No parent has ever spanked their children and been calm. They have always been angry, or in my father's case foaming at the mouth in rage. It is unacceptable in civilized society and those who practice it do not deserve to be parents.

I understand you're coming from a place of anger, but that's no excuse for making broad generalizations.

I just love this. Someone points out a problem with society? Accuse them of making generaliations.

If you're not going to clarify exactly how this is a generalization, then the use of the word "generalization" can be filed under "buzz word". Something you're using to make yourself feel smart, while offering no amount of thought whatsoever.

"Spanking and physical punishment is nothing but revenge. You spank your children because you are angry at them and want to take your anger out on your children. No parent has ever spanked their children and been calm. They have always been angry, or in my father's case foaming at the mouth in rage. It is unacceptable in civilized society and those who practice it do not deserve to be parents."

There's your generalization. You may notice that it's your entire post.

 

[anthony87]

Spanking and physical punishment is nothing but revenge. You spank your children because you are angry at them and want to take your anger out on your children. No parent has ever spanked their children and been calm. They have always been angry, or in my father's case foaming at the mouth in rage. It is unacceptable in civilized society and those who practice it do not deserve to be parents.

I understand you're coming from a place of anger, but that's no excuse for making broad generalizations.

I just love this. Someone points out a problem with society? Accuse them of making generaliations.

If you're not going to clarify exactly how this is a generalization, then the use of the word "generalization" can be filed under "buzz word". Something you're using to make yourself feel smart, while offering no amount of thought whatsoever.

"Spanking and physical punishment is nothing but revenge. You spank your children because you are angry at them and want to take your anger out on your children. No parent has ever spanked their children and been calm. They have always been angry, or in my father's case foaming at the mouth in rage. It is unacceptable in civilized society and those who practice it do not deserve to be parents."

There's your generalization. You may notice that it's your entire post.

Oh, I'm sorry, why don't you name a few examples of parents spanking their children when they weren't in an angry fit. Go on, what are these many examples of smart, wise parents spanking their children that makes this a generalization?

My dad. His parents. My friend's parents, my other friends parents. My neighbours. If you want specific names well....that'd be weird considering you don't know any of them.

Spanking doesn't equal beating someone in a fit of anger. Please learn the difference.

 

[Froggy Slayer]

Oh, I'm sorry, why don't you name a few examples of parents spanking their children when they weren't in an angry fit. Go on, what are these many examples of smart, wise parents spanking their children that makes this a generalization?

'Bad idea, here I come, lalalalaLAAAAA'.

My mum, though I wouldn't really even consider what she did to be 'spanking'. It was a light slap on the wrist, and she was pretty much calm when she did it. She was slightly angry, but not in what anyone could reasonably call 'a fit'. What you went through sounded horrible, and I'm sorry that you had to go through that. You illustrate my exact point, actually. A light slap to get a child's attention, and NOT as a punishment, is OK. Beating a child, which sounds like what happened to you, is unacceptable in modern, civilized society and should NEVER be condoned. Sorry if I sound insensitive with this post, by the way, I just find it hard to imagine what you must have gone through.

 

[anthony87]

double post

 

[anthony87]

snip

I'm sorry but in what backwards ass place is it illegal to put your hand on someone's shoulder?

Also:
"Oh sure, but you can't compare verbal "sanctions" with physical abuse."

Just like you can't compare spanking with physical abuse.

 

[Froggy Slayer]

It's the same as say, a teacher putting their hand on your shoulder firmly before reprimanding you.

That's also illegal.

Is it? Really? What country do you make your home in good sir? What nation? I can understand why people may be so leery about slapping children, but how is putting your hand on someones shoulder even dangerous? That's crazy talk! Crazy talk I say!

 

[anthony87]

I'm sorry but in what backwards ass place is it illegal to put your hand on someone's shoulder?

I'm glad you took the time to read the entire sentence instead of just strawmanning the living shit out of it.

Just like you can't compare spanking with physical abuse.

Well, actually, yes you can. But if you feel like going against the medical community on this one, be my guest.

"It's the same as say, a teacher putting their hand on your shoulder firmly before reprimanding you."

You mean that sentence? Again, in what kind of backwards ass place would that be considered illegal?

And what does the medical community have to do with this?

 

[FalloutJack]

-Hiyo-

Mind if I cut in? THANK YOU SO MUCH.

Listen, could you like...post normally, quit nit-picking, and generally tone down the hostility? You're causing a scene, dude. And by the looks of things, it doesn't hold favor for you. It's just disruptive without being a proper discussion.

 

[Lieju]

It's very effective when they're extremely young, cause at that age all they know is pain and pleasure, they don't understand consequences just yet so confiscating their toys or whatever probably would just lead to more crying and a bigger headache for the parent.

And yet somehow I have managed to train animals (cats, dogs, a ferret) without ever using physical punishments, definitely not hitting them or causing physical pain.

So why would it be necessary for a human baby/kid?

Violence is always bad, and violence towards children and animals is the worst kind. And spanking is violence. The object of it is to cause physical discomfort, yes? If it doesn't feel bad, why use it as a punishment?

Causing pain for a kid is never okay, and it just seems lazy and spiteful to me.