Quote yourself!

[StormShaun]

" May as may as..." - Me to myself.
" Stop stealing our money!" - Me on the topic of Western Australia.
" *Awkward tongue sounds* " - On Skype with best friend playing Minecraft.
" F*ck ALL THE MONKEYS!" - Random yell.
" No Dice B*TCH!" - Me in most games.
" I'm the Archangel of Lightning!" - Me Rp-ing.
" B*tch scared me!" - Me playing Nightmare House 2.
" I...HATE...TARGET!" - Me on my past job.
" *Gasping face*" - My avatar.
" F*cking Cursed Dice!" - Me in Twisted Earth RP.
" I don't wanna be eaten!" - Me to zombies.
" Damn it Caramel!" - Me replying to Caramel Frappe on a bad ending thread.
" For the greater good!" - Me being all goodie.
" I throw a rock through the door" - Me being "awesome" in a home made version of D&D called "Dungeon Wars".

I think I have a whole load more but I'll stick with these. ^_^

 

[Shinsei-J]

"My honor is like a rock!!!, Cold and meaningless so yes.. yes I will do it."
During a DnD game playing as a C/E guy right after being asked to kill someone I knew for gold.

"Can I use a bluff check to feel him up?"
After a fail pickpocket attempt on my friend while playing a kleptomaniac.

 

[Blondefool]

Can?t change a leopards spots? Adobe Photoshop, *****! These days you can have that leopard in zebra stripes riding a fire-breathing bear that can fly
-From my blog

 

[Extragorey]

"Wait until the compactor's maw is opened, then bare witness to the entropy of the first world." -Me, throwing garbage into the garbage compactor at work

Nice one!

I'm sorry guys I don't quote myself, I'll leave that for you to do.

There - you're welcome. But I'm sure you have something original to say, too!

"If you have a problem, ask for help.....they'll send me."

Heh, I sometimes feel that way too. Mainly with computer problems.

"I looked up and there was all this white stuff coming in my face."

- Me, innocently celebrating a snowy winter's day.

Totally didn't see that one coming.

"Did that just happen?" - Friend

"Why yes. I did just get you with a snowball in August." - Me

I need to do that again. Preserving snowballs is fun! And they can't reciprocate.

Heh, never thought of that... *Imagines being the only one with an arsenal of snow balls* What? You wouldn't want risk missing with just a single snowball!

"A stupid woman is a waste of perfectly good breasts."

Was something I said to a girlfriend trying to get across what I liked about her. Not sure I succeeded but I quite liked this phrase that came from all the awkward verbal stumbling I was doing.

That's a very strange thing to say... She wasn't offended?

"Oh man, I shot Marvin in the face..."
Wait, that wasn't me...

But that was totally one of my favourite parts in the movie.

"I quoted my future self."


We need to go deeper!

Quick! Grab the over-powered sedatives!

 

[Extragorey]

"I like memories. It's what keeps me from forgeting things."

Well, that and cybernetic brain implants. Just saying.

I knew this day would come...

I. "Distracted? Witty banter between opponents is ALWAYS how the match starts. It's a law... Somewhere... In my mind."

II."Because, da*n it, that's how science works!"


III. "I've hit pancakes that had more backbone than you!"

IV. "This yogurt is sh*t! And you know WHY it's sh*t? Because YOU'RE sh*t!"

V. "Rules were made to be broken... Except that one about murder. I think that still applies. But, bound to my honor, I shan't cheat the system."

VI."Yeah? Well, life owes me a refund!"

"Life, you got serious problems with your product. The instruction manual doesn't make any sense, every player gets the same exact ending and for some reason, it doesn't have any reset or pause buttons! Did you puke on a keyboard while programming the game and call it a day? Seriously, I want to see improvement, or I'll have to let you go."

VII. "That'd work...
But dang it, why aren't teleporters commercially available yet!? Science, do something about this!"

For more awesomeness...

Spoiler

VIII. "Yep, futuristic sunglasses will be awesome! Like with engineering suits, shoes and robotic killing machines!

I hate my future self for being able to experience such awesomeness. That guy's a d*ck"

IX. "GIVE ME LIBERTY OR GIVE ME DEATH!... But I would prefer liberty a lot more than death. It's a no-win situation for both of us. I die and you get bad PR."

X. "WAIT! I have a movie idea, hear me out; cyborg ninjas from the future go back in time to fight pirates, but they bring a disease with them that turns them into zombies. As they're fighting, an alien god with an army of dinosaurs attacks them, forcing the enemies to become allies for the future of Earth...

It has everything awesome, how could this fail!?

In the future, ninjas and pirates are in a constant war, and the virus was experimental. The virus screws up the future, where NOTHING lives anymore

WHOOPS, I meant that the virus makes the PIRATES turn into zombies, my bad."

XI. "Life is more like a kick in the groinal area; it's sudden, it's purpose is confusing and it always ends up with someone in pain, usually you.

Weird analogies for the win."

XII. "This child shall make the two warring factions make a truce! It's the child Romeo and Juliet never had, to allude to Shakespeare!"

XIII. "Then I'll assassinate the world's most famous orphans!
Let's see...
Batman, Superman,Spider-Man, Wolverine Harry Potter, Annie, James Bond...
*Puts on hat*
I'm going orphan hunting!"

XIV. "People definitely say "Y'all" here to. I don't know if our southern brethren speak similar to us; ever since the Great Carolina Divide, it's forbidden to speak to those (literally) below us."

Heh. Cyborg ninja zombies...
All pretty quotes! You were well prepared.

"Love to comment but I'm a bit tied up at the moment..."

From a thread discussion about bondage. I'm quite proud of this one.

But... You commented! PARADOX!

I'm a self-righteous bastard, that makes it ok for me to be an asshole.

Sounds reasonable.

Haunted Sudoku Uncensored...
Obviously a NSFW Sudoku game that rewards you with risque pictures after completing each square correctly... with ghosts! OooOooOOoh!

He he... things are always funnier when taken out-of-context...

Yeah, I'm thinking it would've been much more amusing if you hadn't explained the context.

This world is mine. You pitiful creatures are but my playthings now. Your homes, your lives, your fate, are merely objects of my whim. Don't beg for mercy, it only makes me angry. Now kneel. Kneel before your GOD! Heh heh. Ha ha. Hahaha! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

- Me, in the near future.

Looks at quote: ...
Looks at avatar: YOU MONSTER!

"So let me get this straight, we are the only creature that we know of that is aware, that we are aware, of us being aware, of being aware, of being aware, of being aware, of being aware, of being aware, being aware, oh where oh where did my little dog go?" -said to my psychology teacher when talking about consciousness.

"It's my logic, don't over think it or it just might make sense." -During an argument with a cousin.

We need to go deeper! And that's how logic is always supposed to work.

" F*ck ALL THE MONKEYS!" - Random yell.

Whose been touchin' those monkeys?! [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EmLHOGT0v4c]
But that's a pretty awesome collection of quotes right there.

Wow, took a while to read through all those posts. I wasn't expecting such a large response!
Anyway, here's another one of my own:

"A shivering wind, a skeletal grin, a prickly pin, and elven kin.
These words grow faint with a vintage taint; old concepts now quaint like an old coat of paint."
- A short poem I wrote to emphasise the over-use of particular word combinations.

 

[Ed130 The Vanguard]

"Well that was genius level of you" after a particularly epic fail.

 

[OniaPL]

"I'm the manliest man that ever lived on this little rock. And I'm not insecure!"

"I remember those who thought I was a crazy lunatic. I'm not crazy! I'm definitely not crazy."

 

[Signa]

...judge "art" as either a product, expression, or masturbation. Twilight is neither of those first two.

In an inappropriately timed conversation about art.

 

[Grog289]

"Religion is a symptom of sentience"

Meaning being sentient inevitably leads to questions of one's own existence, which leads to religion. And yeah, I do find religion to be a bit of a disease, hence the word "symptom" (the alliteration is a nice bonus)

 

[onewheeled]

"People don't hate you. I'm sure people like you, you're a likeable person! Heck, someone tried to rape you, so you must be REALLY likeable!"

...Maybe telling that to my long-distance, now ex-girlfriend (NOT because of this! Ahaha, completely unrelated) wasn't the best idea. She was the victim of an attempted rape, and after a few traumatic days, she seemed to brush it off, moving on very well. And I just couldn't resist this.

I'm definitely going to hell for that, haha.

 

[Ocelano]

"I Have been playing far too sensibly for far too long" - me practically every week at poker just after a long run of folds and just before either a huge bluff or pocket royalty

 

[LongHairRocker]

Me during an English oral test: "...and Brian has some strange fantasies regarding raping and murdering Julia."

My English Teacher:"Why is that so strange?"

Me, after rising my eyebrow:"You do realise you were taping this conversation?"

Teacher:"We might wanna erase the tape..."


Afterwards I told my friends the following wisdom:
"When a teacher makes a rape joke during a Oral exam, you know it is going alrght!"

 

[PleaseDele]

"I don't believe in the social reality"

"I've got my priorities perfectly straight. Some people just don't agree with me."

 

[WolfThomas]

My girlfriend bought a laptop that was a newer model than my version. She picked mine up and said "yours is much heavier". I replied "It's because of all the files I have on it"

I was pissing myself laughing about that for ages. She was not amused.

 

[Zack Alklazaris]

"Normal people scare me."

"Faith and Bliss in the right dose can be helpful, but mix it with ignorance and it becomes dangerous."

"Who says the universe is expanding? Why not the universe is the same size and all matter in it is just shrinking?"

"You must become an unstoppable force, like a hurricane in Louisiana." - drunk friend

 

[mikeybuthge]

Friend: "No one finds your racism funny"
Me: "We're all drunk and happy, whatever I say is golden, now get off your first class high horse and revel in my stereotypes"
Entire room of people: "Yeah, lighten up whitey!"

 

[Extragorey]

"Normal people scare me."

Yeah, what is up with those peeps?
"The primary function of any language is as means of communication; if you can't or won't communicate effectively in that language, then stop wasting people's time."
- When I got fed up with those incomprehensible Youtube comments - you know, the ones in all caps, missing half the vowels, with no punctuation, and where every word either has its letters scrambled or it's in the wrong position. Those comments.

 

[ThePenguinKnight]

I posted this on my Facebook wall a while ago.

My raw unrelenting hatred for things I am indirectly involved in is what fuels my insatiable hunger for emerald studded dog kidneys. In hindsight Paul Revere was once quoted saying, "Excuse me sir, may you please extract the shit smeared walrus tusk currently in the vicinity of my scrotum?"

My family was so proud.

 

[Kerboom]

"Wait, what? No. You're wrong. You want to know why you're wrong? Because I'm right, and you don't agree with me you stupid, ignorant ****!"

...

I wasn't in a good mood.