Ohhh, wait. There was a manager in one of the shops I work in (I work for a chain of shops, there's about 8 of them in city centre -.-) apparently she used to do the romance dance with delivery drivers and the Coca-Cola men before anyone else got to work. Apparently she had a 'fuck book' and a different phone to arrange to meet these guys out of hours.
Me and my friend at work wondered if she bounced on the pogo stick in one of the the cold rooms but he said the guys tinky winky would have probably shrivelled up...
Once I had sex in the hospital with a hot, blonde dude.
In my dream last night. The blonde dude was Thor, and I don't even think I was me in the dream, I think I was Sif. I actually didn't even get to the having sex part. Guess I shouldn't have stayed up reading comics last night. Oh I am so sad.
This one time in college, I was hanging out with a few friends in someone's dorm room, getting a little bit drunk and playing guitar hero. My ex-girlfriend and a girl I had a crush on were both there.
They ended up spending the entire night making out with each other. Wasn't quite sure how to feel about that.
Actually the only reason I even effed her was since her old bf apparently wasn't doing it anymore, they broke up about a week later, I don't know what happened to him but she ended up hooking up with some tech guy who apparently can keep up with her pretty good, they have been together for like 4 years now.
Actually the only reason I even effed her was since her old bf apparently wasn't doing it anymore, they broke up about a week later, I don't know what happened to him but she ended up hooking up with some tech guy who apparently can keep up with her pretty good, they have been together for like 4 years now.
I've told this one before on the Escapists, but it was before you joined. This is probably my most porn-tastic experience:
Last labor day, my spouse, myself, and several friends went out clubbing. Much fun was had by all. One of my friends (who I mentioned recently in another thread) was a bit drunk. She invited all of us back to her place to take a dip in her hot-tub. My spouse and I were like "we'd love to, but we didn't bring swim suits."
She responded "don't worry, you won't need them"
Our other friends decided not to come along, but my spouse and I did. So the three of us got naked and got in the hot tub.
While we were bathing, I happened to mention how my spouse and I have an open/swinging relationship. She asked us what that was like. So we told her. I also mentioned that, if she wanted to, we were both interested in her.
That was my first ever hot-tub three-way. Although, to be fair, most of the three-way occurred after we got out of the hot-tub to dry off.
So there you have it - my most porn-like real-life evening.
Use the [sub] tag. And Bigdick Gigglefist... Next time a girl asks for my name I'm saying that.
I own a massaging business. This one time after this girl was all oiled up and ready for her massage, she grabs my crotch and we did it right there on the spot. Good slippery fun.
Soon after I started offering that "service" with free massages for an "Instructional video."
And now I have a series of very successful porn videos.
Or at least I wish I was the guy that did. Seriously it's a real thing.
So, my girlfriend and I had planted a lemon tree together a couple of years ago in our back garden, as a sort-of romantic thing.
One morning, we came outside to find that our endeavour had come to fruition (literally, heh.) and it was full of beautiful ripe lemons. We did what any couple would do in this situation and sat holding each other, lovingly fantasizing about all of the possible things we could do with these lemons.
Sadly, with our heads in the clouds with delight, we had averted our gaze from the tree long enough for a cunning whore to sneak in, steal some lemons, and stuff them into her translucent whore-leotard.
Looking back at the tree, my girlfriend and I were devastated. There was only one possible thing we could do to bring this crafty lemon-whore to justice. I had to have angry sex with her to teach her a lesson.
I know this looks like a parody, but it's a real thing - I've seen it. Just google "lemon stealing whore".
despite the punishment, she gets away with a lemon in the end.
[small]Well, this was one hell of a first post.[/small]
So, my girlfriend and I had planted a lemon tree together a couple of years ago in our back garden, as a sort-of romantic thing.
One morning, we came outside to find that our endeavour had come to fruition (literally, heh.) and it was full of beautiful ripe lemons. We did what any couple would do in this situation and sat holding each other, lovingly fantasizing about all of the possible things we could do with these lemons.
Sadly, with our heads in the clouds with delight, we had averted our gaze from the tree long enough for a cunning whore to sneak in, steal some lemons, and stuff them into her translucent whore-leotard.
Looking back at the tree, my girlfriend and I were devastated. There was only one possible thing we could do to bring this crafty lemon-whore to justice. I had to have angry sex with her to teach her a lesson.
I know this looks like a parody, but it's a real thing - I've seen it. Just google "lemon stealing whore".
despite the punishment, she gets away with a lemon in the end.
[small]Well, this was one hell of a first post.[/small]
Oh, and I took a female college friend home one weekend my family was out of town and introduced her to a female high school friend who had brought a new friend over. The two friends had sex on one side of the couch while the new friend and I did so on the other.
The high school friend is now married with kids and in local politics. When I visit my hometown around local elections, I often see her on campaign posters in people's yards. It's kinda weird.
okay, it wasn't sex, we just went down on each other
Once people started getting undressed, we actually moved to separate rooms.
But otherwise, yep.
The night before I'd had an extended make out session with the college friend and a different, male high school friend.
College friend was actually my college roommate's girlfriend.
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