Smoking is actually kind of a turn-on for me. I don't smoke myself but the smell's okay in short bursts and there's something about how people look when smoking which is attractive. I dunno, maybe I'm weird.
And with the religion thing, I'm very much an atheist and quite anti-religion myself but wouldn't let that exclude me from a relationship - the thing that would be a deal-breaker is someone who's entirely unwilling to discuss stuff like religion in a serious way, whatever their own religion was.
Cheating would obviously be one for me too.
I dunno, I can't think of many others. People who're completely passive and let others decide everything for them, don't contribute to conversation, etc., I can't stand for long. Other than that I can't really think of any absolute rules.
Religion - I can't be with someone who isn't religious and who doesn't believe in god.
Drinking/Smoking/Drugs - I don't do any of these things so would be pretty pointless for me to be with someone who does. I guess I could live with smoking if they didn't do it around me
Cheating - I would accept someone who has cheated in the past, but if they break my trust once it's gone forever
Temper - I do not accept violence of any kind at all
1: No cheating. It should be rather obvious, but I take an even more negative view than most. Call me old-fashion, but I believe that you should stay with the one you marry for you whole life unless they do something, and while I am not above forgiving cheating if it happens once, I dont want it to be a biweekly thing.
2: No Drugs. Weed, Smokes, all of them. The occasional beer is fine, but you shouldnt be falling over drunk, and you shouldnt see 2 identical mes standing side by side.
God help you if you say you want the war on drugs ended. I am ok with decriminalizing to an extent, but It should all stay illegal. I DONT CARE!!!! if its not as bad as beer or cigarettes. I DONT CARE!!!! if we can tax it. We have enough drugs legal already. We dont need more. If anything, we should be taking the fight to the drug lords in Mexico instead of trying to stop EVERYTHING on this side of the border. Dont want to do it. Then I got 6 words for you: Let me push the F$%^ing Button!
3: If you came expecting sex outside of marriage, you may as well turn around now and leave, because it aint going to happen. As far as I am concerned, sex is something that is only done between married individauls and nothing else will make me change my mind.
4: They cant be overly religious to the point of denouncing science and the like. However, they also can not say that those who are religious are idiots. I come from a very religious family, and while I am not as religious as they are, I am still pretty spirtiual.
5: Sorry, you want to be around me, you are going to have to get used to guns, because I am going to have at least 2 real guns and many "airsoft" model guns to my name.
6: There are afew things you never speak ill of. You dont talk about about my parents. You dont curse the United States (or else you get chased by one angry patriot). In a similar vein, you do not speak ill of the South, and its an even worse idea to speak ill of the Midwest. If you say anything negative about the fact that I drive a pickup truck, you should leave...NOW. You know, the basics.
7: I can take you have different political opinions than me, but there are afew that need to be relatively similiar. On the same note, No bashing of any political party[footnote]Although, calling bull on certain policies is fine as long as it doesnt conflict with the aforementioned "We must agree on afew things." standard[/footnote]. I'm am a very proud Republican, and while I call bull on many things they do (thier emphasis on religion and opposition to gay marriage cheif among them), if you are going to call Republicans "evil" based on afew nuts, you might as well leave. In exchange, I will not talk bad about whatever political party you are a member of, whatever that may be.
And of Course, My girlfriend passes all 7 requirements to a T.
Obvious things, don't cheat, preferably don't be riddled with disease, no serious addictions or dependencies, don't be manipulative, don't have morals that come into significant conflict with mine (i.e. if you hate gay people, or think it's okay to steal, anything like that, we won't work).
More specifically, I'd say that while liking games/books/anime/other geeky stuff isn't necessarily required, acceptance of me enjoying it is. Not having any lectures on how I need to stop doing them or grow up or get some real interests, anything like that. Also, while I will happily adapt my own sense of humour to match the sensibilities of people I'm around, I do need something to work with. If you have a terrible (or at least deeply incompatible) sense of humour, things aren't going to go well.
My dealbreakers?
I'll assume you mean for long term relationships rather than just sex. Anyway...
1) Monosexuality. If you're exclusively gay or straight, then I'm probably not interested long term.
2) Exclusivity. If you aren't willing to swing - ie, have group sex with other singles or couples - then I'm probably not interested long term.
3) Vanilla. If you're boring in bed, then I'm not interested long term. And this HAS been a deal breaker in the past for me.
4) Jealousy. If you're overly possessive, then I will run screaming. This has also been an issue in the past for me.
5) Anti-Pagan. I don't care what religion you are - or of you lack one - so long as you have no problem with paganism. I'm pagan, I plan to raise my children pagan, so be cool with it or GTFO.
6) Virgin/Celibate/Asexual/Waiting For Marraige/Medically incapable of sex. If you won't (or can't) fuck me, then I'm not interested.
7) Being "Anti-Choice". I've been pregnant and had a kid. If fucking sucked (the process, not the result; I love my kid). I begrudge no one who doesn't want to go through with that shit, and I will fight for a woman's right to choose what happens to her own body.
8) Being strongly Right Wing. I've had sex with a few republicans, but I wouldn't date one long term.
. Don't be clingy. I want my own personal space and time to myself sometimes, I don't want to be around you 24/7. This was the problem with my last relationship.
. Don't complain all the time about all your problems. I can't take being with someone who's just constantly depressed, crying and having problems. Yet again, due to my last relationship.
. Don't be paranoid.
. Don't be overly emotional and overly sensitive.
There's the other normal stuff that are just a given like no cheating, violence, drugs, manipulation or smoking. I also won't be with someone who is extremely religious or anti-religious. I don't like extremes.
The things I look for in a girl and physical preferences are an entirely different subject all together.
1: Cheating.
2: Massively overweight - Don't want a damn supermodel but at least want someone slim
3: Intentionally breaking my shit - girl took a hammer to my PS2 back in high school, not pleasant
4: Overly religious - These people annoy me
5: Loath video games - If they can't at least tolerate my favorite hobby I don't see a future there
Well cheating, being abusive, sexist or part of a secret murder cult is a given.
-Too much baggage. Relationships aren't all fun. Sometimes you help them, sometimes they help you but I?m not your therapist and there?s a limit to how much crap I?m willing to wade through.
- On a similar vein you cut or threaten suicide and you?re out the door. A few years ago that might have worked to some extent because I was too nice to tell people like this to fuck off even though I knew they were being manipulative but now I?m sick of dealing with it and have no tolerance for it.
- Radically different political or religious views though this depends on what it are.
-Overly attached or acts like they've been watching too many shitty romances and modelling their behavior off of that. Ringing me up in the middle of the night because you want to hear my voice before you go to sleep when we haven?t even been dating a week is not romantic it?s annoying. I am capable of paying for my own shit so don?t constantly attempt to pay for stuff for me even when I tell you not too.
-trying to drag me to parties all the time. I?ll put with some of it but not too much and I?ll drink but I?m not getting drunk. I have no idea why people try and get me drunk.
Don't try to control my life, don't lie to me, don't avoid communication and don't nag me when I'm tired, don't expect me to read your mind and go silent treatment on me.
That's stuff that would break a relationship with me.
Now, there are of course things that would make me "not even consider it". Airheadedness (if you can't lead a conversation, don't try anything), materialism (if you only care about your stuff, why don't you marry your stuff?), obnoxious hint-dropping (that usually (d)evolves into the expecting to read your mind and silent treatments), overly religious (even if you're a cool person to hang out with, it'd just cause us problems in the long run), expecting me to be a knight in shining armor (well excuuuuuuse me, princess!)
1: No cheating. It should be rather obvious, but I take an even more negative view than most. Call me old-fashion, but I believe that you should stay with the one you marry for you whole life unless they do something, and while I am not above forgiving cheating if it happens once, I dont want it to be a biweekly thing.
2: No Drugs. Weed, Smokes, all of them. The occasional beer is fine, but you shouldnt be falling over drunk, and you shouldnt see 2 identical mes standing side by side.
God help you if you say you want the war on drugs ended. I am ok with decriminalizing to an extent, but It should all stay illegal. I DONT CARE!!!! if its not as bad as beer or cigarettes. I DONT CARE!!!! if we can tax it. We have enough drugs legal already. We dont need more. If anything, we should be taking the fight to the drug lords in Mexico instead of trying to stop EVERYTHING on this side of the border. Dont want to do it. Then I got 6 words for you: Let me push the F$%^ing Button!
3: If you came expecting sex outside of marriage, you may as well turn around now and leave, because it aint going to happen. As far as I am concerned, sex is something that is only done between married individauls and nothing else will make me change my mind.
4: They cant be overly religious to the point of denouncing science and the like. However, they also can not say that those who are religious are idiots. I come from a very religious family, and while I am not as religious as they are, I am still pretty spirtiual.
5: Sorry, you want to be around me, you are going to have to get used to guns, because I am going to have at least 2 real guns and many "airsoft" model guns to my name.
6: There are afew things you never speak ill of. You dont talk about about my parents. You dont curse the United States (or else you get chased by one angry patriot). In a similar vein, you do not speak ill of the South, and its an even worse idea to speak ill of the Midwest. If you say anything negative about the fact that I drive a pickup truck, you should leave...NOW. You know, the basics.
7: I can take you have different political opinions than me, but there are afew that need to be relatively similiar. On the same note, No bashing of any political party[footnote]Although, calling bull on certain policies is fine as long as it doesnt conflict with the aforementioned "We must agree on afew things." standard[/footnote]. I'm am a very proud Republican, and while I call bull on many things they do (thier emphasis on religion and opposition to gay marriage cheif among them), if you are going to call Republicans "evil" based on afew nuts, you might as well leave. In exchange, I will not talk bad about whatever political party you are a member of, whatever that may be.
And of Course, My girlfriend passes all 7 requirements to a T.
Me I started dating someone, I have te usual, be honest, dont lie to me, cheating. As for religion, I am an atheist but I usually don't hate somone wif theyre open minded about it, the girl Im seeing is christian but she's open mninded.
Me I once summed I up like this, whether you pick atheism, the bible or the Bro code they all have some self contradiction so pick your poison.
Honestly some people here just seem to have a few problems, weight, kids, religion, it seems kinda shallow.
I had in laws recently try to hook me up with someone in their extended family. I came to realize things like Prior kid, and well beyond chunky and not incredibly attractive. I was not willing to immediately dismiss on any of those factors.
But when I saw her Facebook and saw she was an apple user... NO! Dealbreaker!
So here goes, don't think I'm that picky. Aside from two things...
1) Doesn't try to press a religion/non religion on me. I'm only slightly religious, and I don't care to change that in any way.
2) Can't be in to Anime too much. I don't really feel like explaining this one, but to sum it up, I've been ruined on that. Just watching anime isn't bad, but being fan girl about something will tip it over.
Edit: To Clarify, I mean a fangirl of anime in general, like, anime crazy. Being a fan of one, two or hell, three or four series doesn't matter to me.
3) Trying to change who I am, Trying to make too big of a change in my life, or personality tends to turn me away from you. Unless I can see and understand the reasoning behind it.
4) Too many emotional issues. Everyone has them, but there's an extent to which I'm able to deal with.
5) Can't be high-strung. I need someone who's a relaxed person.
1. I'm against cheating.
2. I don't want to be rebound guy.
3. I had a girlfriend with an over-religious family. I don't mind religious, but I close-minded people are annoying.
4. Too independant. I don't mind you doing your own stuff. I'd like a heads-up if you plan to do something though.
5. I don't care who is winning the next American idol/x-factor/whatever. You don't stop a man from watching a hockey game. (Since there's a lockout this year, you can watch it..Although, I won't be around).
On OP* Seriously? You wouldn't date a girl because she likes Justi Bieber? How...14 year old of you...
But seriously, music tastes are fun, but it shouldn't be an absolute deal-breaker.
One of the main deal breakers for me is playing mind games or "testing me". Something I read about recently was a girl who told her then boyfriend that she was pregnant to see how he would react. I hope I would be supportive in those circumstances, but if I find that you were lying to me to see whether I am good marriage material we are done.
Another deal breaker is spying on me. I keep hearing about people using sneaky tactics, friends, technology or even private detectives to furtively follow their significant others movements. This could be for a number of reasons, but the most common I have heard of are to see if they are "cheating", see who with and where they spend their time or just for a sense of control. If I discover I am being spied on, you get one warning. "If You ever spy on me again, this relationship is over instantly!"
I find that the only "deal breaker" for me is having a predetermined set of rigid things that are "deal breakers." It speaks volumes of their approach to socialization, and it's the one thing that I could never work around. Somewhat hypocritic to condemn the close-minded while outright stating that I won't deal with it, but I'd rather be a hypocrite than be with someone I know I won't like.
Promiscuous, cheater, trying to kill me, breaking the law, being overly religious, being a militant atheist, being too much of a hippie, treating me badly, only caring about appearances and money, hates any of my hobbies, not enough in common, being a *****, trying to force me away from my friends, constantly wanting sex...
That's all that I can think of off the top of my head.
Edit: Being an idiot, not wanting kids, being an eyesore...
Being into drugs, being a heavy smoker or drinker, being a big party person...
Being the type to leave you for someone with more money, status, or popularity...
The only thing I can really think of is cheating.
Seriously, if you want to run off with someone else, do so by all means, just tell me first so I can move on as well.
Other stuff like heavy drinking or smoking... I don't do it and I'd prefer my partner not so, but if I really care about them, I can probably put it aside.
I said STD's/HPVs not just STI's and you are "WRONG" not all Sexually transmitted infections can be cured with ease, case in point drug-resistant syphilis. I had the unpleasure of studying a lot of these diseases and they're not pretty or as harmless as you seem to think, far from it.
Mr F. said:
3. Hah. I assume this is a joke? People listen to music and have varied music taste. Fuck it, I listen to everything from Alanis Morissette, Annie Lennox through to Ashtar Command and Dragonland. Someone having a guilty pleasure with regards to music is a deal breaker? How judgmental are you? That said, I do not think much for Beiber, but it would not be a deal breaker.
It was until I tried my own Justin Bieber challenge, after the 3rd song I was thinking of ways to hurt myself to take my mined off the abomination I was hearing. There is a reason why he was booed at the Grey Cup.
Mr F. said:
4. Religion is a deeply personal thing. As long as someone is not trying to change your mind, who gives a fuck. I say this as a Christian Atheist dating a Devout Agnostic. Religion is Religion. Its personal. Unless it causes them to break my cardinal rule (Being unkind) who gives a flying fuck?
5. You didn't qualify on any level bar declaring it to be down to not giving a damn about health. Sorry, I am going to put this one down to you being shallow. As most other people have. There are REASONS behind most actions.
Well I'm sorry that you think having standards means you're shallow. I try and eat healthy and get regular exercise, I expect the same. I don't hold anyone to anything I wouldn't be willing to do. Gaining 5-10lbs probably isn't going to bother me much, gaining 50+lbs were going to have a problem. I like tall skinny girls sue me.
Mr F. said:
Read through a few posts. I have the following statement directed at the VAST MAJORITY of people within this thread:
No wonder so many of you ***** about being forever alone. Most of you are coming across as incredibly judgmental dickwads/bitches. People, please, how hard is it to accept that people make mistakes! I mean, fucking hell, I smoked for 6 years. 6 years! Since I was 14! Should I really be judged for the person I was when I started? Should I really be judged for finding it fucking hard to kick the habit?
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