Relationship virgins.

[The Red Spy]

A few years ago I was in a relationship with someone for around 3 months (We were around 14-15 at the time). That ended and I didn't really bother 'looking' for another.
I'm now 19 and I'm not sure, I've basically cut any contact with nearly all my friends because I became sick of sitting around each day and every night, trying to organise a day out or something we could do as friends, so after two years I just wanted to move on from them. Now I find myself looking for a decent friend or two, and I'm now beginning to come around to finding a meaningful relationship with someone I truly enjoy being round and her with me.
My past friends just annoyed me, I couldn't understand how they were simply fritting their lives away, accomplishing nothing and I would offer anything from going to the cinema to skydiving to mark us finishing Secondary school. They wouldn't come out on weekends, couldn't think beyond their own wellbeing and the only time you'd ever meet one is if you went to their house. I understand that this might sound selfish on my part, however please take note that since we finished Secondary school (Over two and a half years ago), we would have gone out about 2- 3 times possibly.

So now I'm looking for a group of dependable, intellectual friends or a partner, and considering if I'm better off on my own.

 

[Hader]

It's been a while since my last relationship/ anything like it, unless you count some dramatic shit that happened roughly 2 months ago that I am still coming out of. Well regardless of that, I haven't given much thought to it, just because I am trying to put one girl from my past behind me (well that's pretty much a done deal by now) and have been visiting with my closest friends whom I haven't seen in almost a year. So I have been thoroughly distracted from the subject recently, which I think is good in getting back into it soon enough here.

OP, don't worry about it too much, simple facts like that don't make you less of a person or anything, and the more you worry about it the more trouble it may cause if you actually go for a relationship somewhere down the line.

That or I am just a rambling fool who ought to be put to sleep for a while

 

[WOPR]

I'm wondering how many of you out there have never been in a relationship and are adults (18+) Is this considered weird?

I'm 21 and never even held a girl's hand in a romantic way much less kissed or dated one. I've only asked one girl out and she said she couldn't date. I really liked another girl but she has no interest.
Besides that I've had no social fields to find anyone. (I came from being homeschooled)

How many are like me out there?

Jeeze you sound just like me... only I'm 18

but yeah just read your thing again

but the girl that said she couldn't date

picture finding her a week later making out with some other guy- then having nothing to say but "uh" when you asked her about it

the have her move away without even saying goodbye

 

[Guitarmasterx7]

I've been in my share of relationships, but I don't know if you could count them, because the longest one I've been in was like, 3 months long and it was essentially more of a fuck buddy type of thing. Probably would have lasted longer if that was the only thing it was. I guess by definition "weird" is something that deviates from the social norm, so yes, I suppose it would be weird. Though if you don't think you need them there's not really much of a reason why you should start. They're ok while you're in them, but they consume time and resources like hell, and then if you break it off you look back and realize that the whole thing was a waste and you got the only thing you actually gave a shit about on the third date.

...That is unless you view it as the whole "testing to see if this person is your soul mate" thing, though I certainly don't so I can't really advise you in that case.

 

[Gildan Bladeborn]

I'm 27 and I've never been in a romantic relationship of any kind. In point of fact, I've never even so much as initiated overtures towards one - a girl I didn't know did randomly hit on me once while I was working in retail (I played along mostly out of curiousity/politeness, but she evidently lost her nerve when it came to follow-up communications so I never had to actively reject her advances), and it's been brought to my attention that various women I know/knew found me attractive/had a crush on me at one point or another; I mention those details primarily to illustrate that my dateless status isn't because nobody wants to go out with me, it's because I'm either not looking for or ignoring the various opportunities that might present themselves.

Why? Because I am not the least bit unhappy with the status quo, as I enjoy being single and genuinely do not have any desire to pursue a romantic relationship with anyone - I don't feel like I'm "missing something" or that I'm somehow "incomplete" because I'm alone; being alone, for me, isn't a problem that I need to solve, it's a lifestyle choice.

I quite like being alone, I see no need to change that status just because other people feel lonely and incomplete going through life by themselves.

By social standards, I'm probably classified as having a disorder. I've never so much as been hugged in real life before >>

By anyone? Or just by someone who you aren't related to? Either way that's still a trifle unusual, even I've managed my fair share of platonic hugs with friends who happened to be of the female persuasion, and I actively avoid romantic entanglements as a matter of course.

 

[Wolfram23]

I'm wondering how many of you out there have never been in a relationship and are adults (18+) Is this considered weird?

I'm 21 and never even held a girl's hand in a romantic way much less kissed or dated one. I've only asked one girl out and she said she couldn't date. I really liked another girl but she has no interest.
Besides that I've had no social fields to find anyone. (I came from being homeschooled)

How many are like me out there?

My first actual relationship was when I was 18, sorta dated a neighbour for a few months. Didn't work out, then around 8-10 months later I started dating a girl at the grocery store I worked at, and we went out for 1.5yrs... had a few girlfriends since, currently I'm living with my girlfriend of around 1.5yrs.

I don't think it's wierd but you definitely need to try and put yourself out there. I don't generally like alcohol, but as a single man it's basically your #1 asset to finding a girl right now lol.

 

[escapistraptor]

And this is another reason why home schooling is a terrible idea. I was a loser in high school and even I was able to get a month and a half long girlfriend in my last semester.

 

[Agayek]

I'm essentially in the same boat as the OP, and that's almost entirely because I'm incredibly apathetic to the whole thing. I can't be bothered with the effort to go out and meet people, let alone look for a girlfriend.

It's definitely unusual, and I'd say weird, but I couldn't care less. I'm content with being alone.

 

[Reveras]

Have attempted, but I never met anyone that really managed to make me commit to an emotional level. Shallow relationships, I've been in enough of those.

 

[rutger5000]

Here's one more.Depending in your definition of normal, it is definitely not normal. Normal means according to the norm, and where I live that norm is losing your virginity around 17 of you're male, or 16 if you're female. That being said, I really would not worry about it. You should take that statement in a very literal sense. 'I' would not worry about it, wetter you should is hard for me to judge. I never had a girlfriend either, and only once kissed a girl and I'm 20 years old.
But I don't worry. I have an active social life, and I'm comfortable with speaking to anybody about anything. If you can say the same, then I see no reason to worry. If you can't then I would urge you to start living. Take chances, and get shot down / rejected, learn by doing. Don't say something weak like "I can't for I'm socially awkward." Well of course you are, if you don't speak to people because you're socially awkward. Then you'll always be just that, get over your fears/phobias/awkwardness and things will get better. This is as easy as it sounds, just make the choice to force yourself in social situations, even if you're not comfortable in them. Eventually that uncomfortable feeling will go away, and you'll learn the social skills needed to interract with people.
Having sex with a prostitute does not looks like a good idea to me. It could solve your problem, if shyness about sexuality was the main issue. Then a prostitute might get you over that shyness. But your problem is that you don't have any social fields, in that case I think visiting a prostitute will only isolate you more.

 

[Biosophilogical]

By social standards, I'm probably classified as having a disorder. I've never so much as been hugged in real life before >>

If I could hug you in real life right now, I would. (Assuming you aren't actually a 40 year old creepy guy pretending to be the Julianking we've all come to know and love).

 

[sycoesis]

Many here I think, if I remember the last topic like this.

I was 18 before I had sex, so I can kind of see your problem... but you've never dated at all? It's been three years since home schooling, guy. Get on out there.

I don't often suggest this... but you may need to hire a hooker. You're way behind on the game, and dating will be hard if your acting like a 12 year old, blushing from physical contact. There are many prostitutes that will understand (And even cook you dinner!). I suggest you find one.

at first i thought you were being an ass hole but i apologize for that after thinking about your comment it seems youve but a bit more thought into it than i first realized

 

[Kopikatsu]

TC, that post basically describes me in the way that I describe me. So yes, there are people like you out there...if you'll notice, most of the people who are, are male. Wonder why.

 

[LordGarbageMan]

I'd go with the hooker, catch up on what you've been missing.

 

[StarStruckStrumpets]

I'm 15, and I guess...dated a girl for 3 weeks. Wouldn't call it a relationship, more like two friends being extremely awkward around each other because we were each other's first acquaintance of that sort. We only kissed and held hands, but it's definitely made it easier for me to get along with girls now.

Still hate the ***** now though, we're friends and all, but seeing her with her new boyfriend makes me want to smash my head into a wall. I guess it's just one of those things.

 

[Robyrt]

I'm wondering how many of you out there have never been in a relationship and are adults (18+) Is this considered weird?

I'm 21 and never even held a girl's hand in a romantic way much less kissed or dated one. I've only asked one girl out and she said she couldn't date. I really liked another girl but she has no interest.
Besides that I've had no social fields to find anyone. (I came from being homeschooled)

How many are like me out there?

I feel your pain - it is tough to get out there and have normal relationships coming from the home school / evangelical circle where everything is weirdly charged. Three major tips:

1. Find yourself a new social circle (without dumping the old one). Having multiple points of reference makes you a more interesting person, it expands your dating pool, and generally does great things for you.

2. The first time is always the hardest. Successful relationships produce a positive feedback loop leading to more successful relationships in the future - at least that was true for me. So don't be discouraged!

3. Examine yourself critically. Is there anything about you that would make people afraid to approach you, or be your friend? If so, should you change it or find some way to turn it into a positive?

 

[Dr Snakeman]

I'm in the same boat. I'm 18, and I'd describe myself as "chronically single", but this isn't due so much to a lack of social skills (well, maybe a bit). It's more because I just haven't really met many girls that I really cared about enough to make the effort to date.
However, now that I'm in college, I've met a few interesting women, and I've become much more socially competent, so I'm not all that worried about my romantic future. In a few months, who knows?

 

[DanielDeFig]

20 years old, never been in a relationship. I have two siblings that started relationships around 16-17, but ive only had a high school crush (ended in tears for both parties before we ever got to talk. I hate high school politics).

I guess i don't actively seek out relationships with girls, and iv'e never seen it as a problem. For both my sibling, my parents, and most ppl i know who are in good relationships ("good" as in lasting emotional relationships, rather than changing boy/girlfriends every week) got into them relatively naturally without having to "seek someone out". It just sort of happens.

Make sure you get to know ppl, men and women alike. After that, if you're interested in some one, make sure tehey eventually know: honesty (it will help throughout the relationship).

I'm not worried, and neither should you be. In a world where a lot of ppl lose their virginity between the ages of 15-19, there is a lot of pressure to follow suit. Ignore it.

 

[DanielDeFig]

I am 23 and I have never been in a relationship. I have never went on a date before either. The reason I have never been in a relationship is because I don't want to be in one. I don't like children and one reason I stay out of relationships is so I don't become a parent.

it's quite possible to be in a relationship without the risk of getting kids (safe sex and all that), but i suppose the real issue is finding someone else who shares in you lack of interest to not have kids.
Possible though, i heard about a couple that got married and actively decided not to have kids (they got a lot crap for it tho from their friends)

 

[Alluos]

It's all a matter of time, the only thing is that as time goes along the standard for "the right one" just becomes a more and more accepting person.