Relationship virgins.

[superbatranger]

Well, I'm 20 and have never even successfully asked a girl out. Every time I tried, I either got shot down, or shot down. Heck, I can't even tell when a girl is flirting with me or is interested in me. And I even had a few girls tell me that they were when it was too late for anything to happen.

 

[loc978]

Well I'm 29, and in my first "serious" relationship, I guess. I'd been having casual sex and one-night stands from the first time I moved out of my parents' house at age 17 until about the beginning of this year. Not sure how I feel about this development yet. More regular, less effort required... but it's so... intrusive...

 

[Aurora Firestorm]

AlthorEnchantor...meeting someone to making out in a day? Does anyone actually do this unless they're just looking to get laid for a night?

Maybe I'm weird, but I prefer to get to know someone as a friend before starting any kind of physical activity with them, and definitely be in a relationship first.

 

[Murais]

Or the fact that most girls below the age of 25 have a level of insecurity that borders on criminally insane.

Men are partly to blame for this. I think more people get insecure and afraid by having nasty, terrible breakups than by just being insecure and afraid. When did having your heart shredded become some kind of Common Thing? I guess it always has been, but it really shouldn't be.

Also, if people are feeling down about not having a relationship...go after one. Too many nerds wait for the other party to ask them. Sadly, especially if you're pursuing other nerds, initiative is rare and treasured. Have some.

I am in agreement with almost everything you said, for almost entirely different reasons.

 

[Flying Dagger]

I've just start my frist "serious" relationship a couple of months ago...
It's not how I thought it would be. I went through a lot just trying to get any relationship (which killed any chance of getting one with the girl I actually liked) and it wasn't until I gave up doing that that things actually started coming together.
But... It's not exactly how I thought it would be. (probably something to do with it being me dating my best friend, so it's same as it ever was except now we kiss all the time)

just a word to the wise concerning the whole "shyness" thing, if you push too far in the opposite direction to compensate, people will think you are a player

I think it's overrated, much like sex, it seems much better when you only see others doing it and you have no experience of it on your own.
(not that I'm unhappy, it's just not that different to being friends, which came as a surprise for me, the happiness comes from the fact that we are so perfect for each other)

 

[JUMBO PALACE]

There are a lot of relationship virgins on The Escapist. I've been with my girlfriend for just over 2 years so far. She's my first and I'm 18.

 

[Best of the 3]

Never had a proper relationship, yeeehhhh don't ask =\

But i seem to know a hell of lot more about relationships than most of my friends who have been in one...

I'm like the Jeremy Kyle of my friends XD

Heh, I end up giving relationship advice to all of my friends (they even ask me) and I've never kissed a girl XD

Yeah, 17, single. No biggy for me so far. I'm not looking to get into anything to deep at the moment.

 

[Firepowered]

I'm 18 and trying to get a girl. So I'm quite average I hear.

 

[mortalsatsuma]

You're not alone. Turned 18 a couple months ago and was about to lose hope of ever getting anywhere with a girl when I end up having my first kiss, which was surprisingly better than I expected. Of course this is as far as I've got so far, unless you count hand-holding and I've done that too (Woot go me.)Despite this I have never been in a relationship myself, though you know what they say; "good things come to those who wait." I hope that's true!.

 

[nonl33t m4st3r]

I just got in a relationship, and we're both relationship virgins. Somehow, she says I'm the one who seems to know what they're doing. This is going to be interesting....

 

[Evil the White]

I'm about a week away from being 18 and My first kiss was a few days ago. It went bad. We were both relationship virgins and had no idea how to kiss. Snuggling on the couch is nice.....

Wait till you try sex. If your erection doesn't fail you the first time, then you have some serious skills, or are drunk/stoned.

 

[Doctor What]

I just got out of a relationship that ended nastily. I wasn't a relationship virgin, but I certainly was a nasty ending virgin. I don't think I have ever seen a relationship end that badly.

 

[Flying Dagger]

snip

I'd add a stage of asking if she wants to go for coffee sometime before asking her to a film, more chance to find out if she's the dangerous crazy you don't want knowing where you live.

The other stage is to ask her to watch a film at a cinema instead of at your house, seeing as a lot of people here live with their parents. Also, the gesture of paying for it can really make an impact, and will make a girl feel less able to turn you down (most girls, especially if they haven't realised it's a date will say things like "no I can't let you pay" in which case tell them to stop being so ridiculous and just pay while they are telling you how they can't let you)

other then that, seems pretty good advice.

not that i'd in any way be able to follow it, I'm terrible at making the first move, I'm lucky enough to be good at befriending girls to be able to deal with it when they make it an issue.

 

[Random berk]

AlthorEnchantor...meeting someone to making out in a day? Does anyone actually do this unless they're just looking to get laid for a night?

Maybe I'm weird, but I prefer to get to know someone as a friend before starting any kind of physical activity with them, and definitely be in a relationship first.

I got that far with my first girlfriend in two days, and we're still together, in a rock solid relationship. Its not that odd. What he says makes quite a bit of sense, as guidelines in these issues go.

 

[Simmo8591]

I'm 20 and have been single for a few months now..... oh dear this whole thread sounds like an AA meeting.
nether the less I've never had problems talking to girls and (apparently) I'm quite good looking, I also am very into sports so am in pretty good shape and at 6ft am usually seen as a decent height etc.

so my advice from someone who clearly knows everything (sarcasm) is..... neither I nor anyone else on this thread giving out the advice has some kind of lucky genetic jackpot that means we just click with the opposite sex. most of the time girls are just as unsure and shy about these things as you are.

at least 90% of this is just confidence. in my experience the friend zone can usually be avoided if you act early enough, in a very casual way try chatting with a bit of casual flirting. also ask your friends, I'm personally very neurotic and over think a lot of what others say, if a girl makes a certain comment to me I will spend ages analyzing if that was her flirting or being disinterested etc. a good friend will usually say 'mate, just go for it shes clearly not ignoring you and shes a nice person, if you get shot down then who cares?'

at this point you man up, finish your drink and approach her. aside from a very few, girls arent going to be horrible to you if they arent interested. they will most likely say 'yes' or look a bit uncomfortable and mumble something along the lines of 'sorry, no' at this point she is usually as embarrassed as you and not being vindictive and superior. simply say 'hey no problem, hope we can still be friends tho' to which she will (almost surely)jump at the chance to end this awkward conversation and agree to remain friends.

Ive been on dates with a couple of girls that never really took off, most of the time we have remained friends afterward and while it may be a little awkward for a few days it really will go away if you just push through it and don't shy away from them.... tho do this casually in a group, i mean don't avoid her but you don't have to stalk her just to show that your ok.

what you shouldn't do is avoid them for so long that you can then no longer even talk to each other in case you end up being forced together through some deus ex machina event (this happened to me last term, my new partner for a course happened to be the best friend of someone I had a thing with and never spoke to afterward, bad times)



anyway rant over, just go for it, most of the time it will work and if it doesn't then who cares? get over your fear and maybe you will surprise yourself

 

[alexjones89]

nah, it's not that unusual. I'm 21 and the same.
You might want to think about why you haven't been in a relationship yet, though. How's your self-esteem? How shy are you around women? etc.

Why? Homeschooled and no sisters (only brothers) I've spent most of my time now that I'm going to college just figuring out I can speak and interact with females I have no idea how to approach someone with romantic interests.

Do I just go "Hey want to go out sometime?" or get to know them, but then you end up in this legendary "friend zone" I hear so much about.

just talk to them, smile and it sounds weird but agree with girls. It really does work. Most girls are pretty nice anyway so just be polite and friendly and you should be fine.

 

[MrSpunkSponge]

I've had female friends and everything, but I probably end up with a combination of my own fear and what I'm looking for shooting me in the foot, to the point that I am in the same boat, never kissed a woman even, though I could probably say I've been on what could be considered 2 or 3 dates.

I really don't want to just "start" a relationship with someone; I want to have some sort of connection with a girl before asking her out. Just straight up asking out someone you barely know seems really strange to me. Of course, then, what usually happens is that I end up waiting too long and some other factor steps in to prevent any relationship past friendship starting. Most often, I just get comfortable in the platonic friendship or I just wuss out on asking her out. If I do manage to gather the courage, it's then that I find out most of the time that she has some mysterious "boyfriend" I've never met or heard about until now, or else she makes up some other excuse. This has led me to add on another factor to my fear and make me more likely to wuss out on girls later; the feeling that I am undesirable. That the answer will always be "no", and that I am always the problem. This destroys my confidence, which makes her less likely to say "yes" if I do actually ask her out. 'Tis a vicious cycle, but I have vowed that if I am not going into the religious life, I would not live my life alone.

You are pretty much describing my exact situation.

 

[Nagisa94]

Well, i'm 16, and I've never been in a relationship or had my first kiss.
I've asked out one girl and one guy, got rejected both times.
But, I have a long life ahead of me.
But for some reason, i'm the one who gives advice to my friends when they're in a relationship or if they wanna ask someone out -_-

 

[YouBecame]

It's been abou 6 months since my last relationship. By this point don't I basically get my virginity back?