Relationships

Guffe

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Jul 12, 2009
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Been in a relationship for a bit over a year now, really liking the lady :)
I hadn't had any thoughts about getting into any relationships to be honest, girls generally don't seem to enjoy my company(?), I don't know. But we bumped into each other a few times during winter holidays at parties and ended up together...
We have our problems but the good parts outweigh that, so trying to solve them slowly but surely to get away the little "bad" that is there.
 

BloatedGuppy

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Feb 3, 2010
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I was going to say "it's been about 10 years" but upon reflection it's actually been over 12. Where the hell is time going? So, yeah. Together 12 years and a handful of months.

Phasmal said:
Do you have a significant other? What do you like about them?
Many things, but if I had to pick just one as a favorite, I'd say her enthusiasm. The term "geek out" has seldom applied to a person more thoroughly. She's in her thirties now, and still has an almost childlike excitement for stuff she loves. Shows, games, books, songs, trips, meals, you name it. Which is not to say she's an endlessly effusive font of joy...far from it. It's just when she does get excited, she gets properly excited.

Sharing virtually all the same interests is nice as well. And the few that we don't share...like hockey...she's come to accept and at least be supportive about.

Like all relationships it's a fucking handful and a half sometimes, but I'm happy enough to prefer it to being single. Lord knows I'm getting too old to date.
 

Kitsune Hunter

What a beautiful Duwang!
Dec 18, 2011
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For me, I'm 22 years old and never been in a relationship. I always did want to find someone with the same interests as me, but I'm starting to doubt that it's ever going to happen, mainly because of two reasons. The first being is that most the girls where I live are all chavs and if you're from the UK as well, you know how...unpleasant and annoying they. The second reason is I'm starting to lose motivation to do it, mainly because of a previous experiences were every time I tried to ask a girl I liked out, it always ended in failure, although my last experience sort of worn me down. About 2 years ago during my 2nd year of university, I asked out this girl I liked since 1st year, but she said no, saying that she was a lesbian. I was a bit heartbroken for a couple of days, but I accepted it and got over it, but it didn't end there. One year later I found out she had a boyfriend and lied about her sexuality to avoid going out with me. I was upset sure, but I was a lot more angry about it for I thought she saw me as a friend at the very least and would be honest with me, but unfortunately not. After that I told her not to come near me or talk to me again and that was that.

Ever since, I tried online dating, but I didn't like any of the girls on it and there weren't any with the same interests as me. I'm going to a gaming/anime convention in June, but I doubt anything like dating ever happens there. From time to time, it sort of depresses me at times since I don't know what to do and unfortunately, I'm in one of those moods at the moment.

But still, congratulations on your anniversary
 

SummerHaze

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May 19, 2016
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in relationship as for me the most important honesty, if someone stop love it's better don't pretend
 

EeveeElectro

Cats.
Aug 3, 2008
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I've been with someone for nearly half a year now which doesn't sound like a long time but after a string of failed relationships and dates this is good for me. Everything is going great and I do feel like he's here for the long run. Us getting together was a bit strange and not as easy as it should have been so I think that's strengthened the relationship.

I just appreciate the fact he's my best friend as well as my boyfriend. We have so many of the same interests and so much in common. I can tell him anything that pops into my head (not always a good thing!) and we both hate the same things/people which is a lot of fun to ***** about. I've lost count of how many people think we're an adorable couple.
One of the best things about him is that he doesn't give a shit about gender roles (he does drag and makes a better woman than me ;_;) and I think because of that he's very open minded and has that feminine side to him that makes me feel so comfortable around him. A lot of men are like "ugh no" about things women do but he's always been really supportive and interested in things I might talk to my girlfriends about. He gives me all the affection I need and more, I'm a really loving person this is great. I adore him. ♥

I appreciate empathy in a partner, good communication skills, similar interests, a good level of affection and a good sense of humour.
 

balladbird

Master of Lancer
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May 26, 2020
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Had a four year relationship end a couple months back. It wasn't a bitter or messy thing... probably about as close to amicable as a breakup as I've ever known. Our lives were taking us in two different directions, and staying together would have bred regrets.

Still, there's no such thing as a breakup that doesn't hurt a little, so I had to go through that for a while. XD

For now I'm actually pretty happy being single. I hadn't done it in such a long time I'd forgotten that it wasn't all bad.

As to something that makes me happy... umm...

snowflakes that stick to my nose and eye lashes? Brown paper packages tied up in strings?
 

Vanorae

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Oct 5, 2011
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I've been in two 'serious' relationships but they never lasted all that long, mostly because I'm a very impulsive and I lose interest in romantic partners very easily. I feel pretty bad about that sometimes, because my exes have both been genuinely sweet and amazing people who loved me very much. They didn't do anything wrong, I'd just wake up out of love and be unable to get it back. I also am a doublemajor, politically active, with a job and a pretty active social life so I never made my partners feel like they were important to me. Man, listing all this stuff makes me sound like I have so many issues. It's not that bad, it's mostly a fear of commitment and missing out on fun stuff when I'm still 21. I have a lot of stuff to work on but I've taken my best friend's advice in just doing whatever I please, as long as I'm clear about what I want. I'd like to eventually settle down, but I'm not particularly worried about it.
 

helwyr

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Apr 16, 2021
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Just got dumped... I'm a sucker for promises. This time it was the, "I've changed, I don't self sabotage and I'm on anxiety tablets so I'm really able to deal with difficult situations."

She finally invited me to meet her son and after an amazingly successful meeting she pulls the plug with a it's not you, it's me. Been repeated by her brother as well whose been really apologetic and a proper bro to me so meh. I took it very hard but it seems to be a case of where I may still be in love with her, I can still see past her and recognize her flaws.

I guess I value the little things. Personality, sense of humor, fun & adventure as well as the looks but I want that person who can be in love and have an idea of what they'd like to do but not promise big and just enjoy how it rolls on.
 

sageoftruth

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Jan 29, 2010
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Also single here. After having two relationships end with us both wanting to switch to being friends, I began to question whether I really wanted a relationship.

Despite that, what makes me really happy is getting respect for my talents. Having people compliment my writing, getting congratulated after making a public speech, or singing onstage, or finding some way to impress everyone in a group activity, or just really connecting with someone.

You'd think that would make me want a relationship pronto, but I also like having my space. It's annoying, since I want to connect with others, but also want others to leave me alone. If I get too much attention, or too much solitude, it becomes bothersome for me.

To answer your question, most recently, the thing that made me most happy was finally having the courage to share some of my writing with my chorus, after keeping it to myself for such a long time. I was surprised how positive their feedback was, and it gave me the courage to share it with others. Stuff like that puts a smile on my face and helps me deal with lower points in life with a more positive attitude.
 

Summerstorm

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Sep 19, 2008
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Hm, i have been single for... eh, 22 years now?

Mostly i don't know how relationships work (only had like... one as a teen) and since no woman ever asked me out or anything (And i am very introvert and LAZY) never anything happens. Why can't i at least LOOK good or be rich, hehe?

It's a bit problematic sometimes - the loneliness is pretty harsh, when i am depressed. Also i would have liked to have more sex. In my age, of course, i also sometimes miss not having a child (Holy shit, they are annoying - i hate children - but still i do feel the call to immortality of my "Bloodline")

So yeah, would have liked to try, but loads of psychological issues did prevent me. Have accepted that, but regret it.
 

Lil devils x_v1legacy

More Lego Goats Please!
May 17, 2011
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I am the opposite of most here I think, I don't think I have ever been without a boyfriend or date for even 2 weeks since the age of 5. I have never asked a guy out or have been broken up with and have never cheated on a guy I have been with so more of a serial long term monogamist much of my life. If I was unhappy with the relationship, I told them and ended it since that would be better than having a misunderstanding. I did have a tendency to get freaked out by something guys did and take off though and not look back. Just about every guy I have dated since I was 16 had proposed marriage, and that usually made me run like I was on fire because that is a very scary thing to say to anyone. But usually as soon as I broke up with one guy I had quite a few already asking me out, so was never alone very long.

I have been with this stubborn muscle bound blond haired blue eyed German man sleeping near me right now for a good number of years now. He is more of the " strong silent type". He could probably get away with playing one of those vikings such as Ragnar on the history channel show with his appearance, manner and personality( Yes I think my significant other might be a Viking he kind of looks like the guy who plays Ragnar) HAHA! I am very glad his sex drive hasn't diminished and we still have sex at least once a day but sometimes quite a bit more, though that is a decrease a bit from when we first got together, I am happy he can still keep up with me, because whether or not people like to admit it, having compatible sex drives is a big part of a good relationship. If either persons desires are not being met, they are not going to be as happy in the relationship as they would be in a sex compatible passionate relationship and when you have an extremely high sex drive that is even more important to a compatible relationship than if you do not. I like that he does not have tattoos, piercings, or do drugs or smoke, will have a drink now and then but not very often. I appreciate his sense of humor, that we enjoy the same music and enjoy spending a lot of time with one another. It still drives me crazy for him to move my things around the house though, I do not think that is something I will ever get used to.

I am a naturally happy person, many have told me I the happiest person they know. I actually wake up singing and am like all sunshine, butterflies and rainbows. I was that kid skipping and hopping through the gardens singing and playing with dragonflies like I was in some Disney movie. Even when things go wrong and seem crazy I usually laugh at how ridiculous the situation is, as it feels like My life is in a cartoon sometimes. I had a bit of a temper when I was young but luckily grew out of that and now it takes quite a bit much to set me off though that stubborn German over there might push me close to it now and then just by being grouchy, and he actually gets grouchy sometimes because I don't get grouchy like whatever that is supposed to mean.. I honestly think men can be the biggest babies on the planet sometimes. He gets annoyed that I am not grouchy? Life is too short to get mad over nothing. I figure you can laugh, cry or die and as long as I am still laughing it is okay. I see no point in yelling.. ever unless it is to save someone's life and get them to safety. I do not yell in anger and cannot be around people like that. I choose to distance myself from people who yell, swear, are overly emotional, overly self reflecting or behave like Jerry springier Crack heads. My life is just better off keeping away from those people entirely. I enjoy being around passionate people, but not angry people.

I have had my share of bad past relationships, my ex actually tried to kill me and went to jail twice for trying. He was the captain of the football team, my high school sweetheart that the whole town loved.. went off the deep end lying to everyone, actually pretended to go to college an entire semester (that I paid for) coming in and doing homework and everything but was actually out hustling pool at the bar and doing drugs all day instead..couldn't stop with the drugs and depression until he started hallucinating and became violent and paranoid hurting himself and me until I had no choice but to have him arrested. It was really rough watching someone go though all that and dragging me through hell with him. I feel lucky to have gotten away from that and survived tbh. Dated quite a few guys that made me run like I was on fire. I swore off dating "gamer guys" after a series of stalker, crazy, freaked out relationships and I was happy to find a man now that I consider "Normal". " Normal" is a big requirement for me for a guy, since " Normal" seems to be one of the harder things to find really. He was a baseball player, not a gamer when I met him, he didn't really play any video games when we met, and I thought that was a great thing due to what happened when guys were competitive with gaming that I played with but we actually play games together now so I sort of turned him into a "gamer" now. It worked out better that way though I try to make sure we don't play against each other on video games or board games anymore at all since I hardly ever lose to anyone and never lost to him. It just makes life MUCH easier not to play against the one you love if you don't want to build up resentment in the relationship.
 

Lil devils x_v1legacy

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May 17, 2011
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Phasmal said:
It's mine and Boyfriend's 7th anniversary tomorrow, so I'm thinking about relationships recently, and we haven't had one of these types of threads in a while (as far as I can remember).

So, like a drunk aunt you try to avoid at a wedding, I'm gonna ask you how your love life is going, or if you're not in a relationship, what you value in a relationship. Or if you don't like relationships, tell me something in your life that's made you happy recently.

As for me, it may sound clich?, but I enjoy being able to share my interests with someone. A lot of what I talk about day-to-day with Boyfriend is about games or other nerdy interests, and it's nice to have someone who understands. Plus we get some pretty interesting discussions out of it (like could Saitama from OPM beat the guys from DBZ, I say yes, Boyfriend says no), as well as some interesting arguments (Captain America DOES have super-powers and I won't hear otherwise).

So yeah, lemme hear it. Do you have a significant other? What do you like about them?
I just wanted to congratulate you on your anniversary, and hope you were able to celebrate it nicely. I am the terrible one in my relationship who doesn't remember things like that, and has to be reminded and cannot even remember how long we have been together.. I actually instead celebrate a little bit all the time instead and just surprise him randomly with something he will appreciate. I have always been weird about things like anniversaries, I have no idea why I can't remember things like that. LOL
 

Phasmal

Sailor Jupiter Woman
Jun 10, 2011
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Lil devils x said:
I just wanted to congratulate you on your anniversary, and hope you were able to celebrate it nicely. I am the terrible one in my relationship who doesn't remember things like that, and has to be reminded and cannot even remember how long we have been together.. I actually instead celebrate a little bit all the time instead and just surprise him randomly with something he will appreciate. I have always been weird about things like anniversaries, I have no idea why I can't remember things like that. LOL
Thanks. :D
Me and the Boyfriend did have a bit of a disagreement on the exact date of our anniversary, so I compromised and went with the day he thinks it is (just because that way it's further away from my birthday). We hung out together and watched a film and had a nice dinner, so it was a good one.

I think anniversaries are only as important as you make them! (I knew some couples who celebrated month-anniversaries, who has time for that? Not me). I think for our last anniversary we didn't do anything except say "Happy Anniversary" to each other because we were crazy broke.
 

Lil devils x_v1legacy

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May 17, 2011
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Phasmal said:
Lil devils x said:
I just wanted to congratulate you on your anniversary, and hope you were able to celebrate it nicely. I am the terrible one in my relationship who doesn't remember things like that, and has to be reminded and cannot even remember how long we have been together.. I actually instead celebrate a little bit all the time instead and just surprise him randomly with something he will appreciate. I have always been weird about things like anniversaries, I have no idea why I can't remember things like that. LOL
Thanks. :D
Me and the Boyfriend did have a bit of a disagreement on the exact date of our anniversary, so I compromised and went with the day he thinks it is (just because that way it's further away from my birthday). We hung out together and watched a film and had a nice dinner, so it was a good one.

I think anniversaries are only as important as you make them! (I knew some couples who celebrated month-anniversaries, who has time for that? Not me). I think for our last anniversary we didn't do anything except say "Happy Anniversary" to each other because we were crazy broke.
Yea, not one of those month people, that is pretty weird tbh lol, just randomly surprise him with a massage or something I knew he wanted or liked though on no particular day sometimes just to cheer him up for no particular reason though. I am glad you were able to spend time with each other, I know some people who are always traveling for business and such and are lucky if they can do that at all. We usually celebrate but I have to b e reminded when it is to do so, and if I forgot until after he does something first, I throw something together while he is in the bathroom or something to make it look like I didn't miss a beat. LMAO

I am one of those people that doesn't really do dinner to celebrate, I actually hate dates where you go out to dinner as well, it is always so awkward which I know that makes me weird. Instead, for romantic celebrations I do other things like turn the living room into a spa with rose petals, candles, humidifiers, sheets covering everything and set up a massage mat/table on the floor and bust out a bunch of different oils and candle wax or throw pillows and blankets on the floor and set up a whipped cream and chocolate buffet. Other than that if I go out to celebrate I like going to the lake and jet ski or do other water sports, play volleyball, tennis, watergun fights or Frisbee golf and have a picnic, or go to an amusement park and ride roller coasters or go play paintball, laser tag, air soft or even nerf wars. What better way to show someone you care for them than to shoot the crap out of them with paintball guns? XD For me, I like to do active stuff where you chase each other and get rowdy and wrestle on the beach for fun instead.

I do like to go clubbing, concerts and watch bands play as well do other events like renaissance festivals, sporting events and conventions but the dinner as a date thing just seems off to me, and I am not sure why. I actually like to go out to eat, just not for a date. HAHA!
 
Jan 19, 2016
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Single for the last 12 years. I'm very shy and not very confident, so meeting people is hard. Given that I've basically done nothing to actually look for a partner, I guess it doesn't matter all that much to me, although there are certainly times when I do miss the companionship. But since I turn 40 this year, I feel like I've pretty much missed the boat.
 

The Gnome King

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Mar 27, 2011
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Same situation now as when I joined the forums in 2011. Married for 16 years now; polyfidelitious and also with our male partner for the past 10. We did finally pay off our house so I'm happy about that.

:D
 

Addendum_Forthcoming

Queen of the Edit
Feb 4, 2009
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I want someone utterly unlike me. At the moment just in a casual-perhaps serious stage. I'm more than willing to put up with the occasional argument over trivial stuff than never argue. The idea of never arguing scares me more. It's like those couples who don't feel like yhey need to talk to eachother.

I want an SO to moan because I've cluttered the former medications drawer with make up. Especially various shades of lippy and nail gloss that I'll never use but feel the need to buy when I walk through a store. I mean, getting annoyed over trivial things at least encourages me to be better in the ways I perhaps don't realize.

I can't think of a worse existence when you or they don't feel free to air even petty grievances. But that's me. If we nevet had the occasional argument I'd constantly feel like either of us aren't really invested in being with eachother.

I get that a whole bunch of small things make a difference. But I think this is more likely going to happen if nobody says anything until either of us are particularly stressed and that tiny little flame lights the fuse leading to a very large mound of powder. Better fireworks than bombs.
 

Lil devils x_v1legacy

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May 17, 2011
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PaulH said:
I want someone utterly unlike me. At the moment just in a casual-perhaps serious stage. I'm more than willing to put up with the occasional argument over trivial stuff than never argue. The idea of never arguing scares me more. It's like those couples who don't feel like yhey need to talk to eachother.

I want an SO to moan because I've cluttered the former medications drawer with make up. Especially various shades of lippy and nail gloss that I'll never use but feel the need to buy when I walk through a store. I mean, getting annoyed over trivial things at least encourages me to be better in the ways I perhaps don't realize.

I can't think of a worse existence when you or they don't feel free to air even petty grievances. But that's me. If we nevet had the occasional argument I'd constantly feel like either of us aren't really invested in being with eachother.

I get that a whole bunch of small things make a difference. But I think this is more likely going to happen if nobody says anything until either of us are particularly stressed and that tiny little flame lights the fuse leading to a very large mound of powder. Better fireworks than bombs.
I am pretty against being around people who ***** for the sake of bitching really. I can argue on the internet, I don't need to argue with the guy sitting next to me. HAHA! I honestly don't see the point in arguing rather than just talking things through. Talking is so much more productive. People can disagree without actually needing to argue and I see that as such a waste of time and energy that would be better used on other things like .. having sex 4 times a day or wrestling over a water gun. For me, that is a much better release than arguing about the toothpaste lid. What if you don't really have any petty grievances at all and dont really care about things like that? I do not really get annoyed by most things, so why would I start arguing about things I am not really annoyed about in the first place? Even if he starts to get all grouchy, he forgets about it immediately if I go bust out some some interesting things and start enjoying myself.

I see it as time better spent doing other things than bickering. But then again, I am also the " artsy crafty type" where I like to do so many different things I usually dont have time to be annoyed. Whether I am working on my sheet metal art, leather working, feather working, woodworking, Gas sculptures... I am usually too involved in the things I am doing to have time to think about something annoying he may have done. If you are not building up resentment at all, there is no bomb to be set off...
 

Secondhand Revenant

Recycle, Reduce, Redead
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Apr 5, 2020
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Had one, kind of broken off because of stuff she's dealing with in her life. We left it open to maybe resuming at some point when things are less stressful for her. Still close though. Over all not too bothered now because what I really wanted most was someone I'm close to and that I can trust, which I still have. Also optimistic about the future.
 

Addendum_Forthcoming

Queen of the Edit
Feb 4, 2009
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Lil devils x said:
I am pretty against being around people who ***** for the sake of bitching really. I can argue on the internet, I don't need to argue with the guy sitting next to me. HAHA! I honestly don't see the point in arguing rather than just talking things through. Talking is so much more productive. People can disagree without actually needing to argue and I see that as such a waste of time and energy that would be better used on other things like .. having sex 4 times a day or wrestling over a water gun. For me, that is a much better release than arguing about the toothpaste lid. What if you don't really have any petty grievances at all and dont really care about things like that? I do not really get annoyed by most things, so why would I start arguing about things I am not really annoyed about in the first place? Even if he starts to get all grouchy, he forgets about it immediately if I go bust out some some interesting things and start enjoying myself.

I see it as time better spent doing other things than bickering. But then again, I am also the " artsy crafty type" where I like to do so many different things I usually dont have time to be annoyed. Whether I am working on my sheet metal art, leather working, feather working, woodworking, Gas sculptures... I am usually too involved in the things I am doing to have time to think about something annoying he may have done. If you are not building up resentment at all, there is no bomb to be set off...
Well... I tend to argue less with women in a relationship... anyways, the thing is I was prematurely greying at 28. At 31 full salt and pepper. Particularly around the fringe. So much so I'm thinking of just going to the salon and saying; "All grey... all of it. It will look better in the long run." I think I've hit that point in my life where the thought of an extensive sex life feels more like a ball and chain. Energy just isn't there anymore.

But at the same time I want someone to prod me. To challenge me. To surprise me. Maybe I've become boring and need someone to butt heads with to liven up my life. I feel older than I did only a year ago. I don't know why, but I think on some level my brain is telling me; "All downhill from here." Maybe I've hit that moment far sooner than most.

Maybe I want someone partially incompatible to me because it would provide some increased feeling of immediacy and risk again.

I'm not very artistic. I like to read. I like to ride my motorbike. Both of which calm me down and destress me but riding my motorbike has that special confluence of speed, mild danger, distance from other people and fun.