Relationships

[Spider RedNight]

Aw, sad comments are so sad.

To be fair we are on the Internet, and a video game website, and and the sub forums at that. Ain't exactly like we're all Ryan Gosling with a compulsive desire to give out diamond rings to everyone who think they're unique and that no one understands them.

Oh yeahhhhh because the internet's a place where there's enough room for everyone to stand on a soapbox!

Waaaait a diddly darn second, the whole point of the OP wasn't "I know you're single and tell me your sob story". I know it can be confusing sometimes because this IS the internet where.... I guess we're supposed to be sympathetic towards lonely individuals who are way too bitter to actually garner any sympathy.

Then again, asking about relationships on a website like this, using the specifications you mentioned, seems kind of like a bad idea because according to you, "this IS the internet and a video game website and the sub-forums at that" so that means..... nobody's happy or in a flourishing relationship? I don't really get what the original intent of your reply was.

Wait. What was I saying? Oh yeah, Uncharted 4 is the bomb.

 

[Joccaren]

Yeah, in a relationship. Started December '13, so its really easy to keep track of how many months and years and all that.
How's it going? Heh. Its complicated. When we first got together we were in very similar situations, and were very similar people. The first year was great, and then she started to change. Half the things that I liked about her disappeared, and the other half I got to see maybe once a month. I certainly made my mistakes too in dealing with this, but it culminated in around 3 months from December last year until February this year things just got out of hand. For those three months each of us was pretty much breaking up with the other every night, then getting convinced not to, or to think it over, because deep down we do both love each other, there's just a huge pile of shit on top of that now. End of February things managed to calm down, and we're trying again. Naturally, its hard though. Things are getting better, but the scars still run deep. Some things aren't fully resolved, though I'm pretty sure she thinks everything is, and at the moment I don't have the time or the mental fortitude to bring anything up and argue over it for another few months.
There's also a bunch of crap in each of our lives that makes things difficult to ever talk about or do, and they're not going away any time soon, unfortunately.

What do I look for in a relationship? Someone who wants the same sort of relationship I do. I don't care if they share the same interests or not, it doesn't matter. I liked my partner because, like me, she was introverted and liked and needed to spend time alone, or with each other, though both of us could go out to social events and blend in and enjoy ourselves. I liked that she was extremely empathetic, and cared and tried to take care of anyone who needed it. I liked that we both wanted to make each other happy, more than just ourselves. I liked that while we didn't have the same interests - I liked gaming, and comics, and anime, she liked weird stuff like Adventure Time, Stephen Universe and that sort of stuff - we'd try each other's hobbies, and engage in them with each other anyway, just enjoying the company and having something to talk about. I liked that we both wanted a long term thing, and both considered ourselves 'too clingy' and wanting attention from the other constantly, whenever possible. I liked that we were both of the sort that we couldn't really like someone without being close friends with them first, and that that side of the relationship was important to us.
As I said, half of that's changed, half I don't get to see anymore, but hopefully we can sort it out. Part of me just wants to vent, but that's not really fair or respectful. I've had the happiest times of my life with her, and the worst. Hopefully things get back to the better side, but there's more work that needs to be done there first.

Yay for the first depressing "In a relationship" post of the thread...

 

[Joccaren]

Edit: Also yay for shit internet double posting -.-

 

[NeutralDrow]

Been in a relationship for a little over a year now. Effectively my first one ever, though on a technicality; it's round 2 for both of us, since didn't work out a few years ago, but we're giving it another shot. Going pretty well, I think and hope. We have a bit of a level cap on our relationship so far, due to living and financial situations (she's in school another year, I'm switching jobs soon, and we're both living with our parents), but we should hopefully have that solved by the end of the year. Slow progress, but it's progress.

That we share a lot of interests (particularly academically, and with manga and gaming), without perfect overlap (we have similar contexts, but there's always something new to discover about our expressions of interest; general social science vs. linguistics and rhetoric, different manga tastes, and different genres of games), and because I can be open with her about things in a way I can't with almost anyone else, is what's making me happy and giving me hope that we'll make it work this time.

 

[WolfThomas]

>4 years relationship. 5weeks post marriage. Things are going peachy.

 

[Drops a Sweet Katana]

I'm not currently, but honestly it's more because I don't really want one at the minute. I'm usually pretty busy and stressed with uni, and I like having time to myself (not that I wouldn't like having the company of someone I loved), so I don't think a relationship would be a good shout if it's just for the sake of it. There are a couple of people I kinda like, but I don't think it would work with either since one is back home about 3 hours away, and the other, while she's lovely and we get along, the chemistry just isn't quite there. Overall, I'm pretty content with it. I find relationships are things that just sort of happen when you're with the right person (not to say that you don't have to do anything), and that they can't really be forced without issue.

 

[mysecondlife]

I got out of a relationship a month ago. It was probably for the best. Congratulations on your 7 years OP (and all others who are happily with someone). That's quite an accomplishment.

What do I value in a relationship? Open mindedness to try new things. ..that's it really.

 

[viscomica]

I love my girlfriend but maybe set the alarm at the time we agree on instead of 20 minutes early every fucking time.

I love my boyfriend even though he's such a sleepy bear

 

[Callate]

I have been married for sixteen years now.

Largely, things are very good. I won't say that we don't have our bad days or our issues, but I think mostly we've found a way that works for us.

We're very different people. My wife is much more high-energy than I am, and tends to want to lead and plan; I'm more low-key, and take the lead on things only when I have to (though I'm told I often do it well.) I'm more of an introvert, she's more of an extrovert. I make sure the day-to-day things keep running smoothly, and she makes the long-term plans.

But I finish her sentences when she fishes for words (with about a 99% success rate), and she mentions things and I realize we were taking in the same situation in exactly the same way with exactly the same response. It's a little spooky, sometimes.

It's important that we make time for each other, and also that we make time to pursue our own interests, and we've gotten pretty good at that sort of thing, but we're still learning and adapting.

It's hard to imagine life without her. I don't love her in precisely the same way I did when I asked her to marry me in the back of a horse-drawn carriage, all those years ago. But my love for her is no less real, no less deep, no less important.

 

[Johnny Novgorod]

I love my girlfriend but maybe set the alarm at the time we agree on instead of 20 minutes early every fucking time.

I love my boyfriend even though he's such a sleepy bear

Love you too gorgeous but seriously set the alarm for when we agree to set the alarm.

 

[The Enquirer]

Been single for a year and change now. Overall doing pretty well. I work 40+ hours per week so I really haven't had time to meet anyone. Most of my friends are actually people I met prior to that job, or from said job. So until something changes there I'll be on my own for a while, not to say that's a bad thing.

 

[GrumbleGrump]

My love life is in it's amazing 23th anniversary of not having anyone in it. Yes auntie, it's an achievement.

 

[Fappy]

My fiance and I have been dating for over fire years and are getting married in March of next year. My mom brings up the wedding every time I talk to her and it's become a bit of a headache already. Don't get me wrong, I am happy we're settling down... I just detest the wedding process. Personally, I am far more interested in the honeymoon we're planning. We'll probably be visiting Ireland and England (I've never been).

As far as the relationship, we're doing alright. She's dealing with a lot of shit right now and it can be exhausting helping her through it, but overall I am happy. We're both nerds and like to share alone time playing single player games. We're both cat fanatics too, so I can't complain XD

 

[Cold Shiny]

Women find me gross and I find them insufferable.

 

[Extra-Ordinary]

Aw, sad comments are so sad.

I'm also single because I loooove being single spending all my money and time on me and not having to worry about what someone else thinks or feels or wants. And since your original inquiry included "tell something that's made you happy recently" - I'm having an absolute blast with Uncharted 4. Dammit Sam Drake, stop being so likable.

I was just about to say the same thing, both the single and the Uncharted thing, I'm taking a break right now from singing the games praises in another thread.

Anyway.

Been solo my entire short life. I've had a couple crushes, the first one said no and the second one always had a boyfriend.
Right now, mm, I don't know what I want.

Maybe I'm a lonely man who's in the middle of somthin' that he doesn't really understand.

Back to Uncharted and Doom.

 

[FillerDmon]

It's weird that we set standards for ourselves but "loves me" is rarely one of them. You say you wouldn't be interested in a smoker? Shouldn't not being interested in you be an even bigger dealbreaker?

In most cases, it should be. It's complicated, though. I've been hurt, almost to the point of calling it abuse, mentally and emotionally by a lot of people, and in one case physically. A lot of people I've encountered in my life have just given me shit, both around me and to my face. Part of it is growing up in one of the few areas in this country where some people can be expected to be openly prejudice while being not only a mixed breed of a slightly non-standard religion, but also being weird enough in my mannerisms for people to wonder if I'm not heterosexual, and the accusation alone brings more insults and all-purpose shit. As I've grown, even my own family, with the exception of my mother, have had more frequent problems with me, and I them. Depression, Anxiety, Suicidal Tendencies, I've had them all.

And for the past 11 years, she's stood by me. She's helped me. She's been there for me, sometimes when no one else has. I can be in the middle of figuratively "the happiest place on earth" and she be the only life-line keeping me from walking in front of a bus because of the rest of the shit going on at that moment. And she's told me how I've been a boon to her, too. I've recognized some of her problems and helped convince her to take steps to hopefully confront them. I've tried to be there, not because of my heart, but out of pure kinship for her as my best friend, when she's had to deal with some pretty horrid shit herself.

It wasn't as if I'd intended for this to happen. I never pretended "If I'm enough of a nice guy I'll get her to go out with me"; that's sick and unhelpful. I never thought we'd go down this road. It just... happened, one day. And despite my damnedest to do something about it, I can't get my heart off of her, even when I've tried dating other girls. My last attempt at it actually fizzled out because I realized I was trying to give away a heart that I didn't have to give, despite wanting to give it.

I know I'm living a dream. Furthermore, I don't delude myself into thinking that this fantasy is healthy, nor that there isn't every chance it might end, given how fickle life can be. But waking up prematurely without having something to fill that void? Would you really blame me for finding that option unattractive? Life's hard enough without giving away the few things that make it worth living, isn't it?

Well there is a girl I have rather strong feelings for. They're not mutual though it seems. Sometimes I wonder if it would be healthier to cut ties but the thought of not having her in my life seems more painful than my current situation.

Bleh.

Basically, this.

 

[Elfgore]

Man, wish it was only drunk aunts at weddings bothering me about relationships and not my uncles literally every time I see them.

Right now, single with no will to date. I enjoy spending my money and free time on myself at the moment... but that's kinda secondary. Main reason is because I need to focus on myself right now and not someone else. I have no idea what I want to do in life and adding a relationship won't help me choose any faster.

 

[JemothSkarii]

Let me chalk up another 'not in a relationship due to a string of abusive relationships' to the thread.

So with that all aside, something that makes me happy... Well, I started playing Bloodborne again recently. Hooked should I say, and it's exhilarating when a game takes away hours of time easily. Never happens.

Now if only I could funnel that into *shudders* book editing...

Wait, WAIT, happy stuff... Hmm... I recently got Book 17 of Spice and Wolf on my shelf. Completes the set... Kinda... there's short stories coming out now. Gotta wait for those too I suppose.

 

[Phasmal]

Well I spent the rest of last night getting drunk and watching Eurovision (totally not worth it this year), so I'm gonna try to reply to people.

It's a shame that so many people have had negative and/or abusive relationships in the past. I hope you're all in a better place emotionally now. There's nothing wrong with being single because you want to prioritise yourself (not that there's anything wrong with being single in general).

I love my girlfriend but maybe set the alarm at the time we agree on instead of 20 minutes early every fucking time.

I know that feeling. If Boyfriend wants to get up at 8, he'll set an alarm for 7:30 and just keep hitting the snooze button so he can 'wake up slowly', while I lay there completely awake from the second the first alarm goes off. Ugh.

Yeah, I'm engaged to be married.

My fiance and I have been dating for over fire years and are getting married in March of next year.

Congratulations to both of you on your engagements and good luck with the wedding process, I know planning weddings can be a nightmare.

It's hard to imagine life without her. I don't love her in precisely the same way I did when I asked her to marry me in the back of a horse-drawn carriage, all those years ago. But my love for her is no less real, no less deep, no less important.

Horse-drawn carriage, that's fancy and romantic! Congratulations on 16 years of marriage too.

Aw, sad comments are so sad.

To be fair we are on the Internet, and a video game website, and and the sub forums at that. Ain't exactly like we're all Ryan Gosling with a compulsive desire to give out diamond rings to everyone who think they're unique and that no one understands them.

Oh yeahhhhh because the internet's a place where there's enough room for everyone to stand on a soapbox!

Waaaait a diddly darn second, the whole point of the OP wasn't "I know you're single and tell me your sob story". I know it can be confusing sometimes because this IS the internet where.... I guess we're supposed to be sympathetic towards lonely individuals who are way too bitter to actually garner any sympathy.

Then again, asking about relationships on a website like this, using the specifications you mentioned, seems kind of like a bad idea because according to you, "this IS the internet and a video game website and the sub-forums at that" so that means..... nobody's happy or in a flourishing relationship? I don't really get what the original intent of your reply was.

Wait. What was I saying? Oh yeah, Uncharted 4 is the bomb.

Yeah, I just noticed it had been a while since we had one of these threads, and while I know that lots of people on here are not in relationships, there are lots of people who are. That's why I put if you don't wanna talk about relationships just put something that makes you happy. Thinkin' positive.
I don't think there's anything inherent in being a dude that likes video games that means you're gonna be 'doomed' to be single. And there's nothing wrong with being single if you're happy in yourself.

I'll probably reply to more posts but I don't want to clog up the forum with huge posts.