Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

[Norendithas]

Granted but you accidentally caught yourself on fire. You survived, but only after losing half your face.

I wish I had a time machine.

 

[BigDeadMushy]

granted.it can go one direction:forwards[small] this is to avoid people going back and messing with the timeline BTTF style[/small.it moves forwards at Precisely 1 second per second.it may take a while to get into the far future,but you'll get there eventually.



I wish for a literal cash-cow.

 

[jhlip]

Granted, but the government takes at least half of it.

I wish I had a black belt of some kind.

 

[BigDeadMushy]

granted.it is a classy affair with a gold coloured buckle.goes extremely well with your dinner suit,and matches your good ol' dancin' shoes.holds your pants up quite nicely.


I wish I was an awesome wizard.

 

[Dr.Susse]

Granted but the definition of wizard is change to someone who hangs picture frames.

I wish for a heart the size of Phar lap's.

 

[BigDeadMushy]

granted.it fits nicely on the shelf you had made specially for it,and is made out of the finest quality paper mache by an artist of highest calibre.provided you are extremely liberal with your definition of the terms 'artist', 'quality' and 'heart'


I wish for a delicious surprise.

 

[Dr.Susse]

BOOM! Chocolate enema.

I wish to be the lord of the dance.

 

[BigDeadMushy]

granted.and it was going great until you took somebodys "break a leg" literally and slipped in a puddle of your own sweat and broke both legs.shoulda got that insurance!


I wish for a beer tree.

 

[Dr.Susse]

I can't ruin that.

I wish for a new season of Father Ted.

 

[BigDeadMushy]

granted.now with an all new cast,crew,characters,location,director and theme.



I wish for a 42"TV

 

[Connor Lonske]

Granted, but it's a tube that can only go as high 480i.

I wish rainbows really did make my little brother cry.

 

[BigDeadMushy]

granted.it can,but it won't.you've got a sentient AI on your hands,and all it wants to do is play an emulator of ET.



I wish for crayons.many many crayons!

 

[hobohazard]

granted but ther not crayola

i wish that aleans would come to earth in caramel space ships

 

[AwesomeExpress]

I can't grant a wish with so many errors.

I wish for no more mosquitoes.

 

[Kieros]

Mosquitoes are extinct! Every other insect morns that and takes up probosci as replacement mosquitoes.

I wish that 1,2,3... were negative numbers and -1,-2,-3... were positive numbers.

 

[Norendithas]

Granted, but it screws up everything math related. Bridges fall down, skyscrapers topple, etc. You were on a bridge at the time. ;]

I wish that I was immortal.

 

[AwesomeExpress]

Granted, you are now a statue that never breaks or anything. Except the birds really like you.

I wish the person in my trunk would stop making such a fuss.

 

[BigDeadMushy]

granted.now it's a corpse in your trunk and it's beginning to smell.


I wish for the wind to stop.take that yachtsmen!

 

[Norendithas]

Granted, but all the Yachtsmen murder you and your family, friends. Then they burn down your home and theirs.

I wish for a zombie apocalypse.

 

[J4D3N]

Granted, but your trapped in the room you are in with no means of escape and no way to communicate with the outside world and so it doesn't really make any difference to you.

I wish for a new shirt