Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted. As a riders fan I cannot corrupt it.

I wish for Britain.

 

[AwesomeExpress]

Granted, you get Britain. If you can lift it.

I wish for a perfect matress.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted, but it smells strongly of France.

I wish for Minecraft.

 

[Xpwn3ntial]

Granted. No strings, Minecraft is its own punishment.

I wish for a cat in China to be saved from being run over.

 

[Athol]

Granted. That cat being saved leads to a cahin of events that ends with you being eaten alive by a weasle.

I wish for....

 

[AwesomeExpress]

your sentence to be finished! Granted, but then it gets deleted. And um... I do it for you. (shut up, it's late)

I wish for an umbrella. Without any holes in it.

 

[Xpwn3ntial]

Granted, but a sudden hurricane blows it away.

I wish for a suit of powered armor.

 

[dertyqwerty]

Granted, but the only power it has is the ability to burn toast.

I wish I had telekinesis.

 

[Norendithas]

Granted but it only works on goldfish.

I wish for a new computer.

 

[Kieros]

You are transported back in time twenty years, and get a state-of-the-line computer worse than your old one.

I wish that people would respect the viola.

 

[Xpwn3ntial]

Haha, fat chance.

I wish for toast.

 

[Kieros]

It's burnt. And on fire. And you just picked it up with your hands.
(By the way, totally correct on the Violas)
I wish the harmonic series was divergent.

 

[AwesomeExpress]

Granted, but now it's too divergent.

I wish I had x-ray vision. Hellloooo ladies!

 

[Xpwn3ntial]

Granted, you make yourself and those around you sterile while all you get in return is the ability to see the skeletons of people.

I wish for a cake.

 

[Hyperrhombus]

Granted. You now have a cake 56 miles across.

I wish for assassins creed.

 

[ERROR989]

Granted. It's Japanese.

I wish for MGS: Snake Eater 3d.

 

[Hyperrhombus]

Granted. You have also lost your left eye.

I wish for a dirtbiking flapjack.

 

[mcpop9]

Granted, but it shortly gets chased down and promptly eaten.
I wish for a peice of paper

 

[ERROR989]

Granted. It has a picture of a penis drawn on it.

Granted. You have also lost your left eye.

I wish for my left eye.

 

[Hyperrhombus]

Granted. You now have pinkeye.

I wish for firefox.