Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

mcpop9

New member
Jan 27, 2010
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wish granted, but peta shows up at your door and refuses to leave.
i wish for penis on the paper i got to be erased
 

Eumersian

Posting in the wrong thread.
Sep 3, 2009
18,754
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Granted. Enjoy exploding yourself accidentally because you totally suck at it and stuff.

I wish for a better pair of pants.
 

AwesomeExpress

Packages Delivered: 84 / 1900
Feb 4, 2010
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Granted, but someone else is already in them. They fight you to the death, you lose. Meanwhile, the pants are just fine.

I wish for five awesome skateboards.
 

Kieros

New member
Jul 4, 2011
100
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Granted. Here are ten million. Nine million, nine hundred ninety-nine thousand, nine hundred ninety-five of them will explode as soon as you, and only you, touch them. Good luck finding the five good ones.

.sdrawkcab ton saw taht yaw a ni epyt dluoc I taht hsiw I
 

Norendithas

New member
Oct 13, 2009
486
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Granted, but it is consuming your right arm, and cannot be removed. I'm going to say it never dies, so you don't smell of rotting fish for the rest of your life. That'd just be cruel. ;P

I wish for a Dr. Pepper castle!
 

Norendithas

New member
Oct 13, 2009
486
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Redlin5" post="362.253098.11984794 said:
Granted but touching it makes your teeth rot out. Immediately./quote]

That's fine! As long as I have the castle to show off. :D

Granted, but the delish fish wasn't washed properly and gave you a virus that shortens your life span exponentially.

I wish for Knights made of Dr. Pepper for my awesome Dr. Pepper castle.
 

Redlin5_v1legacy

Better Red than Dead
Aug 5, 2009
48,837
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Granted but they turn against you when the evil lord Pepsi offers to pay them more. You have been slaughtered by the aluminum swords of your own guard.

I wish for a sharp bayonet.
 

Norendithas

New member
Oct 13, 2009
486
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Granted. But you accidentally cut yourself minorly. It's awesome.

I wish for a grenade attachment for pistols.
 

Kieros

New member
Jul 4, 2011
100
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You get it, but it blows up in your face.

[HEADING=3]Abstract[/HEADING]
The creator of this wish, Kieros[footnote]Hereinafter referred to as "The Wisher"[/footnote], appeals to the next poster[footnote]Hereinafter referred to as "The Granter"[/footnote] for the wish to be described within the later sections. By posting after this, the Granter agrees to all terms put forth within this document[footnote]Hereinafter referred to as "The Wish"[/footnote] within a reasonable level, so as to abide by the rules set forth of the Ruin-A-Wish Foundation[footnote]Hereinafter known as "The Thread"[/footnote] of "The Wish" being "ruined"[footnote]As defined as "Being Granted in a manner that follows the rules of the post preceding, but ends up having a consequence opposite of what is said."[footnote]This rule may be subverted if it is more harmful to grant the wish proper, or if the person wishing is obviously trying for the opposite of what is said.[/footnote][/footnote]. Both parties, on the completion of the wish, will continue to go on with their lives as if nothing has transpired betwixt the two groups.
[HEADING=3]Section 1: Eligibility of the Wisher of have his wish granted[/HEADING]
The wisher has proven his eligibility to have a wish granted for meeting the following standards:
  • 1) He has "Granted" the wish of the previous person.
    2) He is a member of "The Escapist Forums"[footnote]Hereinafter referred to as "The Fora"[/footnote].
    3) He has typed up a wish.
Therefore, because of the meeting these items, The Wisher is eligible to make The Wish in hopes that it will be granted in a manner close to, but unexpectedly off from what he actually wants.
[HEADING=3]Section 2: Eligibility of the Granter to grant The Wish[/HEADING]
The Granter will have proven his eligibility, by fulfilling the qualities mentioned in the prior section[footnote]That the granter has granted a wish, that the granter is a member of the fora, and that the granter has typed up a wish.[/footnote], with the exception that the first statement shall be changed allowed to be waived, as it will come to fruition when the post is granted.
[HEADING=3]Section 3: Terms of the wish[/HEADING]
The wish that is to be granted between the wisher and the granter will be fulfilled under the following conditions:
  • 1) That the wish will not be the first thing that the wisher thinks "I wish" to, but will instead be the term listed in a later section.
    2) That the wisher and the granter will be allowed to negotiate on the terms that the wish will follow.
    3) That, if displeased, the wisher will have a limited amount of time[footnote]No less than thirty-six[footnote](36)[/footnote] minutes.[/footnote] to wish for the wish to be rescinded[footnote]Rescinded means that the effects due to the wish, from the time of inception to the time in which the act of rescinding takes place, will be negated in a fair manner, at the cost of recasting the wish.[/footnote].
    4) That if rescinding the wish is not possible, the wisher will be recompensed with an amount in a legal currency[footnote]Legal being defined as "Used as a currency by more than ten million people, was not obtained through any criminal dealings, and able to be quickly and easily converted to either Pounds Sterling, Euros, American Dollars, or Japanese Yen.[/footnote] of no less than £ 100, and no more than £ [footnote]This is supposed to be a pound sign.[/footnote]25,000[footnote]The amounts may be changes so as the minimum and maximum have the same economic value due to inflation and/or deflation, with the base price being set in 2011.[/footnote].
    5) That during the period in which the wisher can choose recompense or rescinding, the granter will not interfere or hinder the decision making process.
    6) That the abilities or items conferred to the wisher cannot be removed by another wish, except by the wisher[footnote]An exception to this exists if there is only a certain amount of the items or abilities wished for, in which case, it is fully expected to remove the items from the person who previously wished for them.[/footnote].
If these terms are not agreed to, in whole or in part, then as long as both parties can agree on the second of these terms[footnote]That is, a negotiation can occur on terms.[/footnote], then the wish will not be counted as having been made at all, and the wisher will receive a certificate[footnote]Or other equivalent item.[/footnote] for one wish from the same granter.
[HEADING=3]Section 4: The Wish[/HEADING]
The wisher desires for the following items to be granted in whole[footnote]Subject to negotiation, as per Section Three Item Two[/footnote]:
  • 1) The permanent recoloring of the wisher's hair to the color "Blue-Silver"[footnote]As defined by the hexadecimal code #c0d0f0.[/footnote].
    2) The permanent recoloring of the wisher's eyes to the color "Green"[footnote]As defined by the hexadecimal code #30c000.[/footnote].
[HEADING=3]Section 5: Agreement with previous information[/HEADING]
I, Kieros_____[footnote]Previously referred to as "The Wisher"[/footnote], agree to the terms that have been presented, and will do my best to fulfill them.
I, __________[footnote]Previously referred to as "The Granter"[/footnote][footnote]Your signature needed.[/footnote], agree to the terms that have been presented, and will do my best to fulfill them.
[HEADING=3]Section 6: Statement of Insanity[/HEADING]
I, Kieros_____, do hereby state that by spending one[footnote](1)[/footnote] hour on this, including adding twenty-four[footnote](25), and still counting[footnote]Why not twenty-five?[footnote]That would be excessive.[footnote]No, it wouldn't.[footnote]But we're already past that point.[footnote]Okay. Thirty.[/footnote][/footnote][/footnote][/footnote][/footnote][/footnote] footnotes[footnote]And conversations with myself in footnotes[footnote]Don't start a sentence with a preposition[footnote]SHUT UP![/footnote][/footnote][/footnote], do hereby decree that I, being not of sound mind, am insane for this much work into a wish for this little change. I'm okay with that[footnote]He really is.[/footnote][footnote]im 0kay with a l0t 0f things.[/footnote].
 

Kieros

New member
Jul 4, 2011
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You win this thread one-one trillionth of a normal win. I think that puts you in the top percentile. (Immediately afterwards, you lose one-one billionth of a normal win.)

I wish that the combination of Pb(ClO[sub]4[/sub])[sub]2[/sub] and BiONO[sub]3[/sub] would not produce a precipitate.
 

AwesomeExpress

Packages Delivered: 84 / 1900
Feb 4, 2010
13,692
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Granted, but then it blows up in your face, cause it's science.

I wish I had a stockpile of weapons, for just incase.
 

Eumersian

Posting in the wrong thread.
Sep 3, 2009
18,754
0
0
Granted, but the incase was not just, and the FBI comes to your house to break your legs and murder you puppies. D:

I wish I will live for at least 50 more years.