Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

[Dr.Susse]

Granted it was on the ship.

I wish for a good day tomorrow.

 

[AwesomeExpress]

Granted, someone else has a really good day, while your day remains lousy.

I wish for a competent butler.

 

[Eumersian]

Granted. Too competent. He is so good, that everything is always perfect, which, if that episode of the Twilight Zone is to be believed, bores you to death or something.

I wish to do something.

 

[Dr.Susse]

Granted here's a bunch of Mst3k Videos with the cometary on mute.

I wish for more stuff.

 

[Diablo1099_v1legacy]

granted, it crushes you.

I wish to perform FOOS RO DAH!!

 

[steeple]

granted, you can only do it on an empty field, with nothing to get blown to hell

I wish to breath fire (and look groovy while doing it)

 

[AwesomeExpress]

Granted, yours is a groovy, groovy death.. with no one to witness it.

I wish for a rave party in my pants.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted but the smell of vomit and spilled beer will last for months.

I wish for more pylons.

 

[AwesomeExpress]

Granted, you get so many pylons that you can't drive anywhere anymore. And yes, I know what kind of pylons you meant but I chose to go another route.

I wish for an electronic butler in my laptop.

 

[Diablo1099_v1legacy]

Granted, he tries to kill you in your sleep.

I wish for to watch two people in MORTAL KOMBAT!!!

 

[Dr.Susse]

Granted but they both are in comas already and it's just a race of which life support machine lasts the longer.

I wish that Curling was a more widely played sport.

 

[Diablo1099_v1legacy]

Granted, It grows so big, half of the game is Ad's and the other half is more Ads

I wish for FINGERLAZORS!!

 

[Dr.Susse]

Granted. Sadly after a rather overenthusiastic nose pick your brain is a bit "Cooked"

I wish for no feeling in my left pinkie toe.

 

[Diablo1099_v1legacy]

Granted, because I cut it off with a spoon.

I wish for MORE COWBELL!

 

[VaudevillianVeteran]

Granted. The Cowbell lands on and kills you instantly.

I wish for new clothes.

 

[Diablo1099_v1legacy]

Granted, after I commit several bloody murders and drop them into your wash basket and call the cops

I wish to go on a BrodyQuest.

 

[VaudevillianVeteran]

Granted. Although I misheard and now you're questing with the Brady Bunch.

I wish it wasn't so cold.

 

[Diablo1099_v1legacy]

Granted, you don't feel the cold because your dead.

I wish for more wishes.

 

[Robert632]

Granted. You live on the surface of the sun.

I wish For Pony!!!!!(Cookie for the reference, which is not MLP:FIM).

 

[steeple]

granted, you can only wish for even more wishes...

EDIT: granted, but I cant remember where I think I heard it from...

I wish for card games... on motorcycles...