Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

[thesilentman]

Granted, but the site closes down thanks to your stupidity.

I wish I could be patient.

 

[Dead Seerius]

Granted, but nothing is worth the wait.

I wish country music would cease to exist.

 

[Hemlock]

Granted, but hip hop and rap soar to record highs in fans and money taken in.
I wish that garden gnomes could walk.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted but now they've taken all your stuff.

I wish for more Epic Rap Battles of history.

 

[thesilentman]

Granted, just that it's all by artists you probably can't stand, like Justin Beiber.

I wish for insomnia.

 

[Hemlock]

Granted, but after 10 years of the insomnia, you die.
I wish for more genies.

 

[Mullac]

Granted, but with that genius comes the ever-knowing truth that there is no point in life, which eventually leads to your suicide.

I wish I had a third hand.

 

[Hemlock]

Granted, but it has no fingers and it is on your head.
I wish for a cake.

 

[Dead Seerius]

Granted! It's a fruit cake.

I wish for a refill.

 

[Porygon-2000]

Granted, your toilet is now full!

I wish I could travel through time

 

[Hemlock]

Granted, but you can only go back 10 years.
I wish for a computer chip in my brain.

 

[thesilentman]

Granted. No free will for you.

I wish for all of my games to work on Linux.

 

[Dr.Susse]

Granted but due to a transfer problem you get......solitaire.

I wish my eye would stop hurting.

 

[Hemlock]

Granted, I rip it out.
I wish for a jalopy.

 

[Dead Seerius]

Granted, but it has swastikas graffitied on the windshield. (I've seen it before.)

I wish for a magic lamp.

 

[thesilentman]

Granted, YOU'RE the genie.

I wish for more dakka!

 

[Hemlock]

Granted, all the bullets are after you.
I wish for more guns.

 

[thesilentman]

Granted, the guns won't work as they have the handprint scanners.

I wish for a failed wish!

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted but you lose the ability to post in the future.

I wish for DNA that involves into a hat.

 

[thesilentman]

Granted, but said hat is going to kill you after one second.

One.

I wish for no one to have wishes!