Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

[Teoes]

Granted. It comes out of your arsehole in a slow but steady and inexorable trickle.

I want some of username suck's arse-sand.

 

[KOMega]

Granted. You get some of his arse sand. You are also behind him in the human centipede experiment, so you get it as fresh as can be.

I want these bananas tallied.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted but your mail contains a restraining orders for hundreds of people you know well.

I wish for more time in the night.

 

[EeveeElectro]

Granted. Now it's night forever and that's when the monsters come.

I wish for a pretty dress.

 

[Teoes]

Granted. Shame it's not the right size for a gorgeous creature such as yourself! /winkwinkflirtflirt

I wish I was hot like Eevee.

 

[username sucks]

Granted. She was on fire at the time of your wish, so we are assuming that is what you meant.

I wish for a magnificent beard.

 

[Teoes]

Granted, but no-one can pay attention to what you say any more as they're too busy staring at the windmill in your beard.

I wish I was sexy like username sucks.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted but only men posing as women online ever pursue you.

I wish for a better sleeping schedule.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Not granted, you silly bastard.

I wish I had common sense.

 

[Not G. Ivingname]

Spoiler: Here is the cents of the PEOPLE

It is worth .2 cents.

I wish I didn't hear things with my eyes.

 

[EeveeElectro]

Granted, now you're death, dumb and blind.

I wish for a ermmm... cute kitten!

 

[pyramid head grape]

Granted, You are now doom to an eternity of DA'WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW~

I wish for moneyz!

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted but Moneyz(TM) is only accepted in Monopoly banks and your bank balance in real life remains the same.

I wish for library charges to be dropped.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Not granted. You'll have to pay for it you dummy.

I wish for something to eat.

 

[kailus13]

But of course! Have a dead chicken.

I wish for beer!

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted but its brewed from rotten deer.

I wish to sound better in the pubclub Christmas vid.

 

[Roxas1359]

Granted, but sadly no one can understand Spanish.

I wish I had a puppy.

 

[username sucks]

Granted, but it has no legs.

I wish I knew things.

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, you would forget them anyway...

I wish time was more flexible for me...