Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

[UltraDeth]

Granted, afore mentioned good time consists of fleeing from Bounty Hunters

I wish Copyright was not a problem

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, now everyone is stealing each other's hard-earned work and no one can do anything about it...

I wish I could juggle balls!

 

[UltraDeth]

Granted, but no matter how safe you play it, they always hit someone

I wish had enough chocolate to last forever

 

[FPLOON]

Granted! *hands you one tiny piece of chocolate* Your forever will be up in less than yesterday...

I wish you made sense!

 

[UltraDeth]

Granted, it's profound gibberish to you

I wish I was an official Vigilante

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, you'll end up like Ellen Page in Super...

I wish the fish would dish the wish!

 

[UltraDeth]

Granted, but fish are stupid and fuck everything up

I wish I met Rik Mayall before he died

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, you die in his place while history wipes out all of his overall accomplishments right before his eyes...

I wish Jake always had a tasty sandwich!

 

[UltraDeth]

Granted, in his dreams

I wish flies would stay out of my house

 

[Headsprouter]

Okay, enjoy the breeze around your privates.

I wish I ran on batteries.

 

[UltraDeth]

Granted, they're short lasting alkaline

I wish my hair didn't curl

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, it's now wraps around your neck in a choking fashion...

I wish ice cream could talk!

 

[Drake the Dragonheart]

It insults you constantly and swears like a sailor!

I wish John Pinette was still with us. (R.I.P John.)

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, he now wants to direct a even shittier reboot of Simon Sez...

I wish yaks weren't secretly assholes!

 

[Drake the Dragonheart]

Yaks are now openly a-holes.

I wish Kung Fu Panda 3 would be a smash hit. the equal of a walk-off grand slam in game 7 of the world series. adored by audiences, have audiences laughing their arses off, sobbing buckets, and cheering loudly all in a span of 5 minutes, lauded by critics, and even take home a few academy awards.

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, after only 5 years, both the critics and the audience would then say that it's not as good as How To Train Your Dragon 2 as well as questioning what the fuck happened in 2016 to make it the worse year in movies all because of the release of Kung Fu Panda 3...

I wish I was a meme generator!

 

[UltraDeth]

Granted, but the memes aren't funny

I wish I could practice archery in my home

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, you "accidentally" kill all your love ones in the process... before you kill yourself through an arrow to the knee...

I wish I was part of the Holograms!

 

[Drake the Dragonheart]

they only need part of you so your arms are chopped off.

I wish my internet wasn't being so stupid right now.

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, it will continue to be stupid [forever] starting tomorrow...

I wish I had a cool bod!