Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

[Barbas]

Granted. Now take off that negligee. You wanna be a star, don'tcha? Ooh yeah, that's bene... >

I wish I had a dice.

 

[Bizzaro Stormy]

Granted. They're specially loaded to always come up snake eyes.

I wish I had a heart.

 

[Rabbitboy]

Granted but it's stonecold and you die of hypothermia.

I wish for better eyes.

 

[QuietCupOfTea]

Granted, but your eyelids will be closed for the rest of your life.

I wish I knew what to do with my life.

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, now life, itself, would not know what to do with you... So, just look out into the sunset and not think about the gun's barrel touching the back of your head...

I wish everyone "kept it 100"!

 

[Bizzaro Stormy]

Granted, 100 lashes for all legal infractions.

I wish I could understand exactly what my dog's barks meant.

 

[Timeless Lavender]

Granted but all he is doing is cursing you.

I wish I have a pet chinchilla.

 

[Barbas]

Your wish is granted. I hope you like lots and lots of tinny barking.

I wish for a hedgehog family in my garden.

 

[QuietCupOfTea]

Granted, there is now a dead hedgehog family in your garden.

I wish for a cup of tea.

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, it can never be the cup of tea you specifically asked for in the first place...

I wish I knew how to "get down with the sickness" properly!

 

[Fractral]

Here's a needle filled with a very deadly disease. Take it, and I can guarantee you'll be 'down with sickness' in a jiffy.

I wish I was taking a better degree.

 

[Rabbitboy]

Granted. but you won't pass the tests and end up killing yourself out of shame.

I wish I was immortal.

 

[Barbas]

Granted. Enjoy the boredom.

I wish, I wish, I hadn't killed that fish.

 

[QuietCupOfTea]

Granted, but someone else kills it instead.

I wish it would snow tomorrow.

 

[Bizzaro Stormy]

Granted. The blizzard buries you alive.

I wish for a new boat.

 

[FPLOON]

<link=http://uploads.neatorama.com/images/posts/691/70/70691/1396132085-0.jpg>Granted!

I wish I was touched by an angel!

 

[RedDeadFred]

Granted. It touched you very inappropriately though.

I wish the bottle depot wasn't always so busy.

 

[Rabbitboy]

Granted. There weren't enough bottles and now they have gone out of business.

I wish I ruled New Zealand.

 

[Bizzaro Stormy]

Granted. Your popularity is at 2% and the Chinese navy is getting suspiciously close to your territorial waters...

I wish Enterprise had been a better show.

 

[Dr.Susse]

Granted it is now Top Gear re-runs.

I wish for a silver dollar.