Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

[UltraDeth]

Granted, both are killed

I wish could perform magic

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, it backfires harder than pulling a dead rabbit out of someone's hat...

I wish I could throw the book at it!

 

[UltraDeth]

Granted, but the case is thrown due to lack of evidence

I wish I could have a holiday in California

 

[Wary Wolf]

Granted, but there was an outbreak of bad seafood. You discover once again how much food poisoning sucks.

I wish I was a real boy

 

[UltraDeth]

Granted, you're a hairy, unstable, alpha a-hole

I wish I had VR technology

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, it's the Virtua Boy kind...

I wish I could walk down the runway!

 

[UltraDeth]

Granted, a plane is coming to land, so get running

I wish I could cast finger bullets

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, you "accidentally" shot your brain...

I wish I was a Transporter!

 

[UltraDeth]

Granted, get these parcels delivered by midnight

I wish I could go on a grand adventure

 

[Wary Wolf]

Granted. You explore the entire London sewer system fighting various gas expulsions, heaped monstrosities that might be toilet paper and creatures too horrible to otherwise describe in any way. After years of victorious combat, living off only what you found down there you return to the surface the King of the sewer-rat people. But remain forever changed.

I wish my copy of Oblivion wasn't so badly scratched.

 

[UltraDeth]

Granted, now it's in pieces (I feel a bit sorry for that)

I wish things wouldn't go wrong

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, ironically, things do go wrong... only by coincidence instead of by fate...

I wish Waldo had a twin!

 

[Wary Wolf]

Granted, but you can't find him either.

I wish for long life and happiness for the poster below me.

 

[UltraDeth]

Granted, but you get the bad luck

I wish all problems can be fixed by glaring at them

 

[Wary Wolf]

Granted. On a hot day you glare at the sun and go blind

I wish I didn't die so much in rogue-like games

 

[UltraDeth]

Granted, there are no obstacles, making the whole experience boring

I wish I was an armoured hero

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, you are forever framed at my museum... as the "Armoured Hero" of Nothing...

I wish I could glitch the next DJ set list!

 

[UltraDeth]

Granted, the gig is cancelled because of your technical failure

I wish I could eat as much as possible without the weight gain

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, nothing you eat can satisfy your body's will to keep on living...

I wish the struggle wasn't real!

 

[Drake the Dragonheart]

The damage still is.

I wish I would set a world record.