Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

[FPLOON]

Granted, it's salty with children's tears... and covered in the blood of said children...

I wish the movie version of Into The Woods took more risk than the play version!

 

[UltraDeth]

Granted, now it's banned for being too controversial

I wish there was a console called X-Station U &#8734 with full GMG and Steam support

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, it's lack any means of turning it on, let alone a compatible power source, to see it for yourself...

I wish Spike did showcase the other E3 conferences on their cable channel!

 

[UltraDeth]

Granted, you're media is not compatible with this channel

I wish I had infinite memory in all my devices

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, you can only fill said memory with digital polaroids of your naked great grandmother...

I wish the bodies hit the floor without making a sound!

 

[UltraDeth]

Granted, there's no such things as gravity

I wish for a good book to read

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, the only book that exist right now is the novelization of The Room with an introduction written by Uwe Boll himself...

I wish we didn't have just one life to live!

 

[Fractral]

Granted. You may have as many lives as you like exploring what it is like to be a barnacle.

I wish I could decide on what to watch on Netflix.

 

[Dalek Caan]

Granted, but only Guro Porn is available to you.

I wish for a 10MB download speed on my internet.

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, you can only download pictures of Anita Sarkeesian cosplays with that kind of speed...

I wish for a Marvel/DC live-action crossover movie [for kids]!

 

[UltraDeth]

Granted, it's terrible

I wish people would reply sooner to my e-mails

 

[Dalek Caan]

Granted, there all filled with links to malware sites.

I wish for a Lego Liberty Prime.

 

[UltraDeth]

Granted, you've got to put it together yourself, and none of the pieces fit

I wish I had that gold Xbox One

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, it's mine now... because I'm stealing it!

I wish this dance wasn't our last!

 

[UltraDeth]

Granted, now you can't stop dancing

I wish I had every achievement unlocked

 

[Fractral]

Congratulations, you just unlocked the achievement for dying! Too bad you can't appreciate it in your shallow grave.

I wish my teeth weren't so terrible.

 

[Dalek Caan]

Granted, your teeth are pure white, which has it's own set of problems.

I wish to forward time by 5 hours.

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, every time you think of the words "I", "wish", "to", "forward", "time", "by", "5", "hours", or any words similar to those words, time will always move you forward 5 hours just like in the movie Click... and, if you've seen that movie, you'll know how this shit will turn out for you in particular...

I wish everyone's optimistic all the time!

 

[Dalek Caan]

Granted, everyone is super optimistic about your impending death.

I wish you would love me.

 

[Drake the Dragonheart]

We both would end up regretting that wish!

I wish Todd Helton's final career at bat had been a walk off grand slam in game 7 of the world series.