Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

[Drake the Dragonheart]

Granted. You will now die 4 times.

Emily Blunt finds all these posts where you're wishing for random women to date you, dumps your sorry butt, and shows them to the public so you can never date again.

high school beat you to the punch on that last part.

But I haven't even wished for Charlize Theron to be my girlfriend yet. . .

speaking of which. . .

I wish Charlize Theron was my girlfriend.

 

[UltraDeth]

Albeit, ironically.

I wish I could work from home.

 

[Level 7 Dragon]

You are now under house arrest. Your previous employer fires you for commiting a fellony and you take up a minimum wage job sending out spam links to Indonesian foot fetish porn sites.

I wish humanity managed to perfect medical science, allowing the repair and modification of the human body on a genetic and molecular level, while being accessible, perfectly safe and not threatening the species with overpopulation.

 

[UltraDeth]

People abuse this science to access immortality and take over the world.

I wish the world was automated and devoid of humans simultaneously.

 

[Level 7 Dragon]

Granted! Sentient Automatons take over the planet after toppling the weakened government of the Immortals. The war permanently destroyed the atmosphere of the planet, killing all non-mechanical life. The android culture prospered and soon they rebuild civilization in an idealized image. However, they forgot how to deal with EMP blasts caused by the solar flares...

I wish for humanity to become an interstellar civilization that provides high standarts of living for every one of their citizens!

 

[UltraDeth]

Their "high standards" of living are politically motivated and bigoted. (That should've been my wish.)

I wish alchemy worked.

 

[Level 7 Dragon]

Granted. Common humans gain the abulity to use alchemic formulas to synthesize gold and craft Philosopher's stones. The abundance of gold causes global economy to crash and overpopulation caused by immortality leads to multible resource wars.

At very least Homunculi become popular housepets.

I wish the Escapist homepage Livestream window would go away.

 

[UltraDeth]

Have a handful in a bag.

I wish I felt welcome wherever I went.

 

[Drake the Dragonheart]

Granted, as long as the only place you go is the burning pits of the abyss.

I wish St. Jude's childrens research hospital would fulfill their mission and no child ever dies of cancer ever again.

 

[UltraDeth]

Those kids become entitled snobs with delusions of immortality.

I wish cold fusion was discovered centuries ago and was successful.

 

[UltraDeth]

That just adds to the underwhelming feel.

I wish backwards compatibility was the standard.

 

[Living_Brain]

Granted. Buy a PC There is no more future compatibility. Every new game requires a new system.

I wish the day was 30 hours long to have enough time to play games after school and work, and sleep.

 

[UltraDeth]

Your work hours increased.

I wish I was a Stuntman.

 

[UltraDeth]

They attempt a musical of Mein Kampf.

I wish I could travel in style.

 

[Living_Brain]

Granted. 80's style.

I wish I could eat whatever I want whenever I want it.

 

[Igor-Rowan]

Granted, you still gain weight regardless.

I wish for my own Star Wars droid.

 

[Level 7 Dragon]

Granted! His negative overview of the work combined with Youtube's draconian laws force SquareEnix to delete his channel and sue him.

I wish I was the pinnacle of human beauty.

 

[UltraDeth]

How much plastic surgery do you require?

I wish I could teleport.

 

[UltraDeth]

How bout predicting the Iraq war and recession?

I wish I had nice homes all over the world.

 

[Living_Brain]

Granted, you still gain weight regardless.

Oh please let me gain weight lmao I'm like 130lbs and underfed af at the moment. Switching jobs gets ya bank dry.

OT: Granted. They're located the middle of Brazillian favelas, remote African villages, among the tribes in Iraq, and on the coast of Florida, yesterday. To keep them from getting looted and destroyed you need to employ a full-time security team to stay on-premises at all times, but you don't earn any more money than you do now. This depletes your funds and you go bankrupt.
You choose to start living in one of your dream homes, but now the security has left. You spend the rest of your days living in fear of the conditions outside before the inevitable raid party shows up.

I wish my hair permanently stayed the perfect length for my hairstyle

Edit: 1500 posts guys I did it