Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

[Athol]

Granted, they all end badly.

I wish for something bad to happen to the next person who posts.

 

[SkyeNeko]

Granted. I wasted my 10k post absentmindedly on something not very special after saving it all day.

I wish I could get that special post back...

 

[Realitycrash]

Granted, but now there's no Escapist to post on.

I wish I could I could combine Falcon Punch and Retcon Punch and undo every Final Fantasy game after VIII.

 

[AwesomeExpress]

Granted, but you also undo every game after FFVIII. Oh no's!

I wish I had a pet llama.

 

[Athol]

Granted, it hates yout

I wish for a warm day

 

[AwesomeExpress]

You got suspended, so your wish doesn't get ruined.

I wish for a fresh pot of coffee.

 

[Lionsfan]

Granted. But the coffee has been poisoned.

I wish for a new computer

 

[Athol]

Granted, it bursts into flames and burns your house down

I wish I could afford L.A. Noire

 

[Robert632]

Granted. You have to go without food for a week to save up the money to afford it.

I wish for triple the income.

 

[AwesomeExpress]

Granted, but you can't get it out of its case..

I wish I could be as cheesy as I want to be, and no one would make fun of me.

 

[Lionsfan]

Granted. But everyone ignores you rather than make fun of you.

I wish that my car would never break down

 

[Gypsy Ninja Pirate Zombie King]

Granted but now its on fire

I wish i was rich

 

[Lionsfan]

Granted. But all your money is in the Sandwich Portfolio.

I wish I had more days off work

 

[VaudevillianVeteran]

Granted, you're fired!

I wish I had more jewelry.

 

[VaudevillianVeteran]

(Post)

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted but it weighs you down to your death when the boat you're on sinks.

I wish for a miracle.

 

[VaudevillianVeteran]

Granted. But the miracle brings Hitler back from the dead.

I wish for a puppy.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

It eats you.

I wish for more time.

 

[VaudevillianVeteran]

Granted. You're immortal but you're still aging, have fun being 2000 years old.

I wish for cake.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Failure to describe the kind of cake has doomed you. Enjoy the cake the chef standing behind you can bake.

I wish for Freedom!